brabus:

Indeed, she really has a different story to tell when she had a miscarriage[i](mom had left though)[/i]. She wished my mom was there. My mom is not God but she treats her DIL's like her own child.

#talkingaboutmyownmom

owobokiri: We tend to blow this thing out of propoortion most times. A young gal is courting a guy and gets on well with the guys mother, pretending to find no problems with her presence in her guys place all the while. Then the marriage is solemnized and she turns a tiger finding faults with her every act all of a sudden. This just happened with a relative and I don't think the young gal is totally innocent. She knows why the woman was/is there! She just lost her husband and has no female issues. You don't expect her to go and die of lonliness in the village! It is not the ideal situation but be flexible sometimes! He is your husband, we all know, but he is somebodys son too! Everybody is saying no no no as if a mother in law is one wingless witch from hell, including ladies who will use the excuse of childbirth to bring in their mothers on almost a permanent basis. The man should take charge. You know and understand the two women, try to manage things in a matured way. While mothers shouldn't make their married childs home their permanent home unless situations like the above example forces them do so, any marriage that can only succed when the mother in law is treated as an outcast should not be consumated in the first place! You freedom loving ladies should find ways to accommodate your mother in laws. Your husbands came from a family, they didnt drop from the sky.

Sophyrocks: Not advisable at allllllll. There is absolutely no way a mother-in-law's presence won't have a negative vibe in a young marriage, whether its the mother-in law of the husband or wife. There is no way a mother-in law wouldnt want to be in control in that marriage.

The first year of marriage is usually tough because the couple are just getting to LEARN to live together inspite of their different backgrounds. And as years pass by, they get to understand each other better. Now add the influence of a mother-in law to the mix, ahhhh, Recipe for disaster!! The wife's role in the home will always be looked upon with a microscope, her cooking, how she keeps her home in fact every single thing she does will always be criticised by the mother- in law. Even the mother of the wife will want to question how the husband runs his family.

Not all mothers -in law are bad BUT their influence in marriages must be avoided/minimised at all cost or else there will always be conflicts that will refuse to end. Which is why the man as the Head has a huge role to play in this. Mothers-in law are free to visit but please couples should be allowed to focus on their families and should learn to chase off any form of influence in their marriage if they really want to enjoy their marriage.

freecocoa: Whatever happened to where she lived previously?

My ma always used to say 'uto ka nma na mbiaru' , no matter how nice the said MIL might be, omo leave am...

Segirl18:

A big Nooooooo!, wey get comma without ending..
Because thats always the beginning of commotion, destruction and manipulation for d couple. Its never advisable for any mother-in-law in her right senses to do that.
D bible never instructed any mother-in -law to leave her home to cleave 2 her child nw...only d couples re permitted to do that.
So wetin lost wey d woman dey find 4 her pikin haux? Abi them been tell am say them no go born ni?
The so-called rubbish really pisses one off.

Bigsteveg:

Is it ur mother ure calling a rat?

QweenMercy: Is it ideal for a mother-in-law to move in with a newly married couple??
If NO state ur reasons..
And if YEs also state ur reasons...
Leggo!!!

Reference:

And think well before you post. I know the context in which the poster is speaking so don't use extreme examples. A bedridden fellow will not exact a dynamic psychological toll on a host family but a live, kicking person who comes to your home to do 'nothing' is not a positive influence at all. I have sympathy for the former not the later at all. Go to many homes and you find people just hanging around simply because they are comfortable and heavily subsidised so they find nothing else to do. Most of these relationships exact heavy tolls on marraiges and often end negatively so don't bring the ill person example here, they are in the minority.

And the part of your father in-law expressing himself means what. Explain.

Reference:

And think well before you post. I know the context in which the poster is speaking so don't use extreme examples. A bedridden fellow will not exact a dynamic psychological toll on a host family but a live, kicking person who comes to your home to do 'nothing' is not a positive influence at all. I have sympathy for the former not the later at all. Go to many homes and you find people just hanging around simply because they are comfortable and heavily subsidised so they find nothing else to do. Most of these relationships exact heavy tolls on marraiges and often end negatively so don't bring the ill person example here, they are in the minority.

And the part of your father in-law expressing himself means what. Explain.

brabus: For those who says NO, there must be reasons.

For me, here's my main reason

I told my wife if she can get along with my mother, she'll easily get along with me. Why? "Because I can never hit my mother!"

SirAweezy:

Sorry "not a good enough reason", you must be scared of something!

delishpot:

I know of a Man that his mom is sooo controling e remain make she help am guide pr.ick put for him wifes wetin call. She go calculate every period for wife, keep date of menstruation etc and talks sex like a teenager.

brabus:

Yes, I'm scared of losing my marriage. Isn't that a good reason? Unless you feel hitting your wife is part of your marriage vow

FYI, I'm not a pretender.

beolar: Pls,pple should not make it sound as if mum-inlaws are bad.if the situation warrants that they stay with U,pls accept them and their flaws.
The key thing is for the young couple to prepare their minds and determine to live peacefully with them.
I took my hubbys grandmother not his mum oo but paternal grandmum cos she raised him,she was alone and old cos my hubbys dad which is her only child had died yrs back,my husby had sisters but anon of them had space in their homes ,they live in selfcontain apartment while we are blessed with 3bedroom flat all rooms ensuit,we took this decision because she can't wash her clothes anymore,she can't cook forherself ,@times she fall sick and nobody will inform us all these and many other conditions made us take her in.
Although it is not easy but we did our best for over two yrs,until dat day she slept and never woke up .I am so happy I did allow her in cos God had really blessed us ,I remember how she use to pray for us everymorning.
pls young couples,I know It might not be easy but nothing is impossible if u set ur mind to do it.

Yomieluv: To do what? Coach the newly couple how to behave? To me,its hell No. Told my fiancee,no family,from my side,or her side is coming to stay with us.new couple needs privacy to bond together,and during that period,Trespasser will be prosecuted.

dagentility: No way,what happened to the house she was living in before we got married. I love my privacy alot. If i wear bum short now,she go dey scream say i wan seduce her son.