sailormoon: People should think about taking steps to reduce the risk of bad things happening, no doubt. In the case of räpe, failure to do so does not however mean the victim is to blame (urgh this 'blame' word is irking me), indeed some women could probably take steps to reduce the risk, i.e. not playing näked poker with a convicted räpist in his prison cell but even still, she isn't to blame, the räpist is. Besides, räpe is a premeditated action, it's not involuntary, it's not like sweating, I know plenty of men who are capable of not räping women.

S/N: Fully aware that females aren't the only gender that are victims of rape, same with males being perpetrators.

One of the problems with this topic is that we tend to focus more on telling people to protect themselves, than in telling people not to behave like wild animals. And as you rightly said, räpe does not happen by mistake so even murder might be more excusable in some cases.

The criminal is ALWAYS at fault. Let's stop blaming victims in 2014!

texanomaly:

Are you seriously trying to say that it is ok to sin if we are tempted. I guess in that case, any sin we do because we were tempted is justified. There is ALWAYS a choice no matter the temptation. We each chose our path. Temptation will always be a factor. The choices we make are on US individually. It will be me, alone, facing God.

Tex, the question and the issue was never about how much blame the perp should take. I've answered that a thousand times already. The question is whether the woman who is räped can ever be culpable.

As I told you before, Adam's sin was not lessened because it was Eve who led him into it nor was Eve's because the serpent tempted her. The question is whether the source of temptation has any responsibility. In this particular case, is it utterly impossible that a woman who suffers räpe could have any responsibility at all?

InesQor:
One of the problems with this topic is that we tend to focus more on telling people to protect themselves, than in telling people not to behave like wild animals. And as you rightly said, räpe does not happen by mistake so even murder might be more excusable in some cases.
The criminal is ALWAYS at fault. Let's stop blaming victims in 2014!

Thank you jare lol

MrAnony1:
Lol I have only read the first page so far but it was funny to see how people jumped on Ihedinobi for asking a question. It is funny how people tend to judge what they percieve to be the intents of a person before he/she has declared them.

Now to answer your question, I think there are cases where rape can be justified. For instance if a woman rapes someone, I won't be opposed to rape as a punishment for her crime.

There is a second related issue, if a woman is innocent, she doesn't deserve to be raped even if she walks around nude, Nevertheless I would think her to be incredibly foolish to make herself an easy target. While this does not justify the rapist in any way at all, it doesn't leave the victim totally blameless.

This may be a very unpopular position that I may have just taken but I can't see how any other position would be consistent with natural moral reasoning

I would be interested in hearing objections too my position if there are any.


P/s: If you disagree with me please state precisely why you disagree and we can respectfully reason together. Merely mocking my position or my person will tell me that you are not interested in reasoning and so you won't get a response from me. I look forward to replies. Cheers

Thanks for coming in, bro.

In fact, the part about making herself an easy target puts the whole question here in another light. No one here would, despite their arguments, walk into a ghetto flashing valuables. That is not because it is ok to rob anyone who shows their wealth wherever they may be but because we all know that this is not Heaven yet. There are wicked people, broken people all over the world so we take measures to protect the things we value while we wait for the day that the lion and the lamb can lie down together and nothing threaten anything else.

I think the high emotion that the subject of räpe provokes makes it difficult to appreciate even someone is helping to fight it. Is it realistic to insist and expect that there will be no räpists threatening women's honor? It is not. Can women do anything to escape the wickedness of räpe? Is their fate wholly in the hands of the föol who wakes up one day and decides that he will soil another woman's honor? Can they do NOTHING at all?

texanomaly:

So now we are saying the ra.pe is petty theft brought on by the victim. Is that it? I'm sorry, I still believe the perpetrator is still culpable. So what if he was lured there. He took the bait didn't he.

Satan tempts us all the time. If we give in to temptation, are we exempt because he tempted us? If we find our neighbors door unlocked, do we go in and rob him blind and rape his wife?

Of course we are justified, after all he left his door unlocked when she was changing...

Please show where the perp has been stated to be inculpable by me or any other person.

MrAnony1:
I think you assume too much

Thanks bro, but if you ignored him it would have been even better. This is Logicboy's prodigy. Facts and logical reasoning hold very little appeal to them, you know.

texanomaly: Let's stop stepping all around the issue here. We all know Ihe is not really referring to a woman who walks into a group of men naked. Let's discuss something that is likely to actually happen.

1. Let's say a girl is on a date with her bf. Afterward they go to his place. They are making out on the couch. Things get hot and heavy. Suddenly she decides she doesn't want to go any further and says "NO". Does the guy have the right to continue?

Was this thread ever about his rights? If you think it is, please show where it says so or even implies it.

2. A guy and the girl are at school. They are talking in his room. He kisses her. She does not stop him. Things start to go farther than she is willing. If she asks him to stop, is he obligated to do so?

Was this thread about his obligations? Please show any evidence that it was.

Now, in both case the girl went willingly to the guys place. She allowed him to kiss and touch her. She may have even started it. Is he obligated to stop when she asks him to, or is he justified in continuing when she says no?

This thread was about what a lady can do and it would increase the possibility of her suffering räpe. It was never about a man's responsibility. I have severally attempted to show that it is the woman that is at issue here. You insist that placing any responsibility on the woman regarding räpe absolves the räpist for reasons I still do not know.

I pointed out MissMeiya's analogy to make a point, viz, killing can be ruled murder, manslaughter, self defence or accidental death depending on the circumstances involved. Thus, I query, can a woman be culpable for her rape? I have no interest in the man for obvious reasons: he has power of choice.

There are generally 3 ways people get ra'ped.

A - When physically subdued / overpowered either by the number of offenders or by comparative sheer strength of one
B - When blackmailed or otherwise emotionally coerced
C - When inagent. i.e. unconscious (e.g. in a coma, drunk or drugged) or too young to possibly understand what's going on

In ALL cases, the victim is NOTHING ELSE but a victim and should never be blamed for whatsoever reason.

The victim was not asking for it!

When most people think of ra'pe, they think of case A. Some other sensitive ones think of case C as well as the popular case A. Few people understand that case B is ra'pe as well!

One of the most dangerous constructs popular in modern society is the notion of a "friendzone", that terrible, terrible place where someone you obviously dig a lot does not let you dig at all. So the "unloved" person is frustrated and will in many cases end up finding a way to ra'pe the object of their frustration. Well, wake up and smell the horse breath: NOBODY OWES YOU SEX. Well maybe a prepaid prostitu'te or gig'olo if you're into that kind of hellish existence.

ihedinobi2

This is the 4th or 5th time you've mentioned me in your sick twisted thread. If you do it again, I'm reporting you for harassment.

@ihedinobi2

I hope you know that women garbed in full burqa with only their eyes visible have been rap'ed?

There is NOTHING a woman can do to influence - adversely or otherwise - her chances of being rap'ed. Ra'pe is about domination, subjugation and compliance, enforcing one's own desires and inclinations at the expense of that of someone else.

In some respect, the problem is not far from that of black slavery and the stinky racism that it inspired and the xenophobia that followed it like a deadly ghoul. Is there REALLY anything a black person can do to change the mind of a determined racist? Or to protect him/herself from suffering consequences of racism aimed at him? NO!

I'm at odds why we're looking for possible reasons to blame the victims of crimes, for whatever reason under the sun.

Rap'ists and potential rap'ists be like:

"After all I bought / did for her, she just has to comply"

"She wants this, she's just playing hard to get"

"She is trying to friendzone me"

"The way she's dressed, she's begging for it"

"I can see beneath her goody 2 shoes dressing and I know she bad, bad"

The last two examples above show that rapi'sts feel entitled and surely cannot be reasoned with, no matter what the victim does or did!

Dealing with the rapi'st and discouraging his/her ilk is the root of the matter. Always. Never blaming victims!

InesQor: This topic should NOT even be up for debate. Räpe is never the victim's fault, and there is no sense in justifying it for whatsoever reason. Rapists are wild animals.

Saying räpe is ever the victim's fault is like saying you deserve to be robbed for being so wealthy.

How dare you drive past me in that sexy car while I am just here dreaming and salivating about such cars! You deserve to be robbed. Not by me, cos I am not a criminal, but you deserve to be robbed by someone for showing off that flashy car indecently. When I hear that someone robbed you, I will say "You totally deserved it. After all, there are others who drive rickety cars or older models. Why must you be so flashy?"

See how foolish that sounds?

Any one that cannot control their se'xual urges and takes forceful advantage or obtains non-consensual benefit is an animal and actually deserves to be treated as such, or even worse.

I don't see the parallel between your analogy and this thread. Call räpists whatever you want, not that I disagree at all, but I hope you can make an argument for the dissolution of all banking and security systems while you're at it. You have already begun with the above.

If a woman can never be culpable for räpe then woe betide women in this world for any day of the week it may just be anyone who is grabbed and there is absolutely nothing any woman can do about it except talk and perhaps kill.

sailormoon: People should think about taking steps to reduce the risk of bad things happening, no doubt. In the case of räpe, failure to do so does not however mean the victim is to blame (urgh this 'blame' word is irking me), indeed some women could probably take steps to reduce the risk, i.e. not playing näked poker with a convicted räpist in his prison cell but even still, she isn't to blame, the räpist is. Please bear in mind that räpe is a premeditated action, it's not involuntary, it's not like sweating, I know plenty of men who are capable of not räping women, there is no excuse.

S/N: Fully aware that females aren't the only gender that are victims of rape, same with males being perpetrators.

You are saying two contradictory things: that a woman can do something to reduce the chance of räpe and that if any woman is räped it can never be her fault. If there is anything a woman can do to prevent räpe then the question to ask when räpe happens is whether she did it. Because if she didn't, she shares some of the responsibility.

InesQor:

In all cases, the man should have stopped immediately.

As much as we teach girls to stay safe, we need to teach our boys to pick themselves up like men when a lady says NO. No means no. The moment she says no, switch off your di'ck and your heart and switch on your brain!

If I was trying to get with someone and she tells me no, I will free her entirely. If she was "joking" or "playing hard to get", that's her tough luck. She said no, and that is it. NO. Even if my wife (when I get married) tells me NO, I'd stop whatever I was doing. Of course since she's my wife I can't free her up forever, but she'd need to really convince me next time.

Summarily, people need to grow some balls and stop giving lame excuses for being wild animals.

So we can teach girls to "stay safe", can we? Why then do you claim that women can never be culpable if they are räped. Why teach girls to "stay safe" if nothing they do can prevent räpe? What exactly are you teaching them?

InesQor:

One of the problems with this topic is that we tend to focus more on telling people to protect themselves, than in telling people not to behave like wild animals. And as you rightly said, räpe does not happen by mistake so even murder might be more excusable in some cases.

The criminal is ALWAYS at fault. Let's stop blaming victims in 2014!

What is wrong with such a focus? Why do we focus more on encouraging people to use strong passwords, hard-to-guess combinations, strong doors and high fences, trustworthy banks and strong armies? Is it not because we don't føol ourselves about the condition of the world we live in today?

InesQor: There are generally 3 ways people get ra'ped.

A - When physically subdued / overpowered either by the number of offenders or by comparative sheer strength of one
B - When blackmailed or otherwise emotionally coerced
C - When inagent. i.e. unconscious (e.g. in a coma, drunk or drugged) or too young to possibly understand what's going on

In ALL cases, the victim is NOTHING ELSE but a victim and should never be blamed for whatsoever reason.

The victim was not asking for it!

When most people think of ra'pe, they think of case A. Some other sensitive ones think of case C as well as the popular case A. Few people understand that case B is ra'pe as well!

One of the most dangerous constructs popular in modern society is the notion of a "friendzone", that terrible, terrible place where someone you obviously dig a lot does not let you dig at all. So the "unloved" person is frustrated and will in many cases end up finding a way to ra'pe the object of their frustration. Well, wake up and smell the horse breath: NOBODY OWES YOU SEX. Well maybe a prepaid prostitu'te or gig'olo if you're into that kind of hellish existence.

Can any woman out there do anything at all to protect herself from räpe? Or are all women at the mercy of the whims of räpists?

MissMeiya: ihedinobi2

This is the 4th or 5th time you've mentioned me in your sick twisted thread. If you do it again, I'm reporting you for harassment.

You had the choice to ignore me and my sick thread too. And you still do.


Still, I'll avoid using your name henceforth.

InesQor: @ihedinobi2

I hope you know that women garbed in full burqa with only their eyes visible have been rap'ed?

There is NOTHING a woman can do to influence - adversely or otherwise - her chances of being rap'ed. Ra'pe is about domination, subjugation and compliance, enforcing one's own desires and inclinations at the expense of that of someone else.

In some respect, the problem is not far from that of black slavery and the stinky racism that it inspired and the xenophobia that followed it like a deadly ghoul. Is there REALLY anything a black person can do to change the mind of a determined racist? Or to protect him/herself from suffering consequences of racism aimed at him? NO!

I'm at odds why we're looking for possible reasons to blame the victims of crimes, for whatever reason under the sun.

Then we can stop wasting precious time teaching our little girls to "stay safe". My prayers are with all women in this world then.


I should add though that black people have managed to change many a "determined" racist (although I admit, I don't know the difference between a determined racist and an everyday racist. Is it like the difference between a determined räpist and an everyday räpist?). A colored person is today president of America. That is a few decades down from Martin Luther King Jnr. People are doing things to change paradigms all over the world and to protect the things they value. I really don't see how women must not do the same with their own bodies.

InesQor: Rap'ists and potential rap'ists be like:

"After all I bought / did for her, she just has to comply"

"She wants this, she's just playing hard to get"

"She is trying to friendzone me"

"The way she's dressed, she's begging for it"

"I can see beneath her goody 2 shoes dressing and I know she bad, bad"

The last two examples above show that rapi'sts feel entitled and surely cannot be reasoned with, no matter what the victim does or did!

Dealing with the rapi'st and discouraging his/her ilk is the root of the matter. Always. Never blaming victims!

Nobody here is saying that räpists don't need any attention or that they are not culpable. We are talking about the safety of the woman while there are still räpists in this world.


And there will be räpists until Christ comes again.

ihedinobi2:

I don't see the parallel between your analogy and this thread. Call räpists whatever you want, not that I disagree at all, but I hope you can make an argument for the dissolution of all banking and security systems while you're at it. You have already begun with the above.

The parallel is simple: you do not blame people for being robbed by greedy people. Why blame victims of rapists?

Dissolution of banking and security systems? I can't see the joke here.

ihedinobi2: If a woman can never be culpable for räpe then woe betide women in this world for any day of the week it may just be anyone who is grabbed and there is absolutely nothing any woman can do about it except talk and perhaps kill.

In case you do not already know, this is the reality of many women. Most are just too afraid to tell you how they are molested at home and abroad! And whoever mentioned killing? Don't put words in my mouth abeg.

ihedinobi2:

So we can teach girls to "stay safe", can we? Why then do you claim that women can never be culpable if they are räped. Why teach girls to "stay safe" if nothing they do can prevent räpe? What exactly are you teaching them?

We teach girls to stay safe, but that is just a part of the picture. If you DO NOT stop blaming ra'pe victims and START educating the wayward ones that are inflicting the pain, then all the teaching is in vain. A simple Catch-22.

ihedinobi2:
What is wrong with such a focus? Why do we focus more on encouraging people to use strong passwords, hard-to-guess combinations, strong doors and high fences, trustworthy banks and strong armies? Is it not because we don't føol ourselves about the condition of the world we live in today?

Really? Why do we still encourage people to go to school when we know that not all schooled people are successful?

See I am a software specialist and I can tell you clearly that when your system is already compromised, hard-to-guess password combinations are just a waste of your time. When the intruder has a backdoor into your system, high fences and strong armies are nothing. If you do not deal with the root problem, you will be in an endless and regrettable loop.

ihedinobi2:

Can any woman out there do anything at all to protect herself from räpe? Or are all women at the mercy of the whims of räpists?

ALL women are at the whims of rapi'sts. Yes, I said it. Many have been rap'ed by the very men they trusted to protect them from rap'ists. What then?!! Do you think any attitude or teaching would have saved them in that case? NO. The only thing that can stop rap'e is stopping the rap'ist himself/herself.

Rapi'sts cannot be reasoned with, because rap'e is about power. That is something I am trying to tell you here. When you have a power problem, there is only so much the under-dog can do, they are still at the mercy of the power-drunk.

InesQor:
The parallel is simple: you do not blame people for being robbed by greedy people. Why blame victims of rapists?

Actually that is a poor analogy. Carelessness regarding the security of your body for a woman in this world is analogous not to driving around in your nice car or wearing good clothes but to driving your nice car around in a crime-infested neighborhood with no arrangements for the security of the car, like advertising your wealth in a violent ghetto without any effort spent to secure it.

Dissolution of banking and security systems? I can't see the joke here.

That's because there was none. The whole question of this thread was about security, the security of a woman's body. You have as good as argued that there should be little thought spent on security and more on trying to eliminate the reality of thieves, that is, anyone who goes after anything that is not theirs to take for themselves or destroy, an impossibility until Christ returns.

In case you do not already know, this is the reality of many women. Most are just too afraid to tell you how they are molested at home and abroad! And whoever mentioned killing? Don't put words in my mouth abeg.

I do know. That is why I bothered to create this thread. This is some way to help protect women because I don't believe that they are utterly helpless. I wasn't putting words in your mouth, rather I was drawing your argument out to its logical conclusion.

ihedinobi2:

Then we can stop wasting precious time teaching our little girls to "stay safe". My prayers are with all women in this world then.

I should add though that black people have managed to change many a "determined" racist (although I admit, I don't know the difference between a determined racist and an everyday racist. Is it like the difference between a determined räpist and an everyday räpist?). A colored person is today president of America. That is a few decades down from Martin Luther King Jnr. People are doing things to change paradigms all over the world and to protect the things they value. I really don't see how women must not do the same with their own bodies.

We teach them to stay safe in the hopes that it can deter the more weak-willed assailants. It is a struct of self-defense. But NONE of that is adequate to prevent ra'pe when the rap'ist is determined!

Women have always protected their bodies. I am not sure how we need to start telling them to do so rather than telling their assailants not to act like wild animals.

Did black people become emancipated solely by making them value themselves more? Or MAINLY by making their oppressors see reason?

ihedinobi2:
Nobody here is saying that räpists don't need any attention or that they are not culpable. We are talking about the safety of the woman while there are still räpists in this world.

The woman has always been concerned with her own safety. I do not know, nor have I heard, of any rap'ed person that was not concerned with her safety.

ihedinobi2: And there will be räpists until Christ comes again.

And you know this for sure, how?

InesQor:

We teach girls to stay safe, but that is just a part of the picture. If you DO NOT stop blaming ra'pe victims and START educating the wayward ones that are inflicting the pain, then all the teaching is in vain. A simple Catch-22.

I'm not sure what "just a part of the picture" is supposed to mean. And I do not see any call here to stop educating wayward ones or to ignore educating them. As for blaming räpe victims, the question here is merely whether they can ever be blame-worthy. Because if they can, as most of the respondents here appear to both agree and disagree with, we should do something about it.

As for the wayward ones, there are laws to take care of them. And they are warned everyday too by Christianity too. But while the law will cause the perp pain and discomfort and Christianity warns of frightful rewards for such wickedness, lost virtue is something a woman can mourn for the rest of her life. I think that if she can do anything to prevent that happening to her, she absolutely should. Don't you?

InesQor:

Really? Why do we still encourage people to go to school when we know that not all schooled people are successful?

See I am a software specialist and I can tell you clearly that when your system is already compromised, hard-to-guess password combinations are just a waste of your time. When the intruder has a backdoor into your system, high fences and strong armies are nothing. If you do not deal with the root problem, you will be in an endless and regrettable loop.

Help me understand here. I used those analogies to talk of a woman taking measures to secure her body. What does you use of them now correspond to? That the measures are meaningless because räpists exist? Are we going to do a chicken and egg debate too?

ihedinobi2:
Actually that is a poor analogy. Carelessness regarding the security of your body for a woman in this world is analogous not to driving around in your nice car or wearing good clothes but to driving your nice car around in a crime-infested neighborhood with no arrangements for the security of the car, like advertising your wealth in a violent ghetto without any effort spent to secure it.

No. Driving a nice car in a crime-infested neighbourhood means you went into THEIR domain, knowing it is crime infested. Like, say, a woman who goes to an ALREADY-KNOWN rap.ist's house! If you did not willingly go into their hands, then how does your analogy above apply? Or the whole earth belongs to rapis'ts now "till Jesus comes"?

ihedinobi2: That's because there was none. The whole question of this thread was about security, the security of a woman's body. You have as good as argued that there should be little thought spent on security and more on trying to eliminate the reality of thieves, that is, anyone who goes after anything that is not theirs to take for themselves or destroy, an impossibility until Christ returns.

Don't put words in my mouth. I didn't ask for little thought to be spent on security. I said there is a balance to be struck, and we always seem to be tossing blame at the victims rather than fixing the damn root problem. I do not believe there are any impossibilities until Christ returns (there again, with that). For instance there was a time it was considered an impossibility that a black man could ever be educated, let alone become president of the United states.

ihedinobi2:
I do know. That is why I bothered to create this thread. This is some way to help protect women because I don't believe that they are utterly helpless. I wasn't putting words in your mouth, rather I was drawing your argument out to its logical conclusion.

If you DO know, then you should know better that blaming victims for WHATEVER reason is the very worst way to deal with these issues. Many rapi'sts are said to make the victims believe it was their fault they got rap'ed which is ONE reason they never come forward. Now you want to help them and you are also looking for a reason to blame them?

ihedinobi2:

I'm not sure what "just a part of the picture" is supposed to mean. And I do not see any call here to stop educating wayward ones or to ignore educating them. As for blaming räpe victims, the question here is merely whether they can ever be blame-worthy. Because if they can, as most of the respondents here appear to both agree and disagree with, we should do something about it.

Alright then, the question is whether they can ever be blame-worthy? The answer is that räpe victims are never blame worthy. By definition, a räped person did not consent to be räped. This is simply ineluctable. Inasmuch as they did not consent to be räped, then they were beguiled or otherwise fell into an unfortunate circumstance. None of this is a sensible reason to "blame" the räpe victim.

ihedinobi2:
As for the wayward ones, there are laws to take care of them. And they are warned everyday too by Christianity too. But while the law will cause the perp pain and discomfort and Christianity warns of frightful rewards for such wickedness, lost virtue is something a woman can mourn for the rest of her life. I think that if she can do anything to prevent that happening to her, she absolutely should. Don't you?

The laws are not enough to "take care of them". Tell you why? Because most of them are never caught. Most are never revealed. And why is that? Because people like you look for reasons to make them blame themselves for the horrible acts done to them. That in itself is a worse lost virtue.

texanomaly: Let's stop stepping all around the issue here. We all know Ihe is not really referring to a woman who walks into a group of men naked. Let's discuss something that is likely to actually happen.

You start by saying "let's not step around the issue" only for you to then proceed to step around what Ihedinobi is saying by trying to tone down his rhetoric for him.
Why don't you give an answer to the question: Is the victim totally blameless and not in regards to his/her misfortune especially if the victim deliberately put himself/herself in harms way?

1. Let's say a girl is on a date with her bf. Afterward they go to his place. They are making out on the couch. Things get hot and heavy. Suddenly she decides she doesn't want to go any further and says "NO". Does the guy have the right to continue?

2. A guy and the girl are at school. They are talking in his room. He kisses her. She does not stop him. Things start to go farther than she is willing. If she asks him to stop, is he obligated to do so?

Now, in both case the girl went willingly to the guys place. She allowed him to kiss and touch her. She may have even started it. Is he obligated to stop when she asks him to, or is he justified in continuing when she says no?

To your questions: The guy is wrong if he continues in both cases. But that's got nothing to do with the question this thread is addressing.

The question before you is. Are there any possible cases where the rape victim can be blamed?
I say yes, what say you? And please don't step around the issue this time

InesQor:

ALL women are at the whims of rapi'sts. Yes, I said it. Many have been rap'ed by the very men they trusted to protect them from rap'ists. What then?!! Do you think any attitude or teaching would have saved them in that case? NO. The only thing that can stop rap'e is stopping the rap'ist himself/herself.

Rapi'sts cannot be reasoned with, because rap'e is about power. That is something I am trying to tell you here. When you have a power problem, there is only so much the under-dog can do, they are still at the mercy of the power-drunk.

I don't think there is need to say that I don't agree with you. Fathers have räped their daughters. Daughters have also escaped being räped by their fathers. Women have been räped by men they trusted, women have also escaped, including by pre-emptive actions, being räped by men they trust. These are both facts. In the latter case, I know of a woman who had an experience with a man which suggested that she might be in trouble with him. Her handling of that situation saved her from a fate that she may have been badly scarred by. That same guy may have gone on to räpe other girls but he did not räpe her.

Räpists see women everyday, generally speaking. They räpe some and don't räpe others. Why is that? Is there a switch responsible? And there are men who got into situations where they can swear by all things holy and sacred that they did not mean to force the girl and just couldn't stop themselves. For some such men, räpe happened once. Why in that one case and not others? Trying to make räpe into something other than a human failure is going to cost us useful perspective. If there is more than one person involved in a matter, there is generally more than one responsibility as well.

By the way, the girl took care to avoid that dude afterwards. I'd say that drastically reduced the chances of a räpe occuring, wouldn't you?