chynes: Ok. Keep shouting choose his brother. I guess the 60k he is earning is enough to take care of his family and send his children to school. Pls tell me..which good kindergarten or primary school collects less than 150k per annum as fees? Rent, feeding, medical bills on that salary. And someone here is audaciously proclaiming that the wife, a chemical engineer by profession jas achieved her life dream cos she is married, to an accountant earning 60k! Smh

Na naija we day o, we nor day abroad oh.

Jman06: U obviously married a wussy who does all your whims and caprices.

Lol. I take that as a compliment dear. A "wussy who doeS all my whims and capriceS" is better than a wise man who doesn't know how to build a home. Being a good huSband iS not in ur authority but in how well ur home in being run. His wussiness iS paying off well, maybe u shld give it a try.

domwas2:
Pple like u after marrying a guy drag him off his family, so u expect ur brother inlaw sit around doing ur home chores taking care of ur kids while u there jumping around abeg pls go back to the kitchen jor... It's always about their immediate family not others.

Doing which chores? Did you see the part about the woman not having a job? That means she is actually a housewife and she doesn't need the brother in law for anything.

I know your type, I have seen them before. The only impact you make in the house is by the amount of food you consume and the dirty dishes you leave in the kitchen. You feel so comfortable because it is your brother's house and after all its your brother's money so why should you lift a finger to help do anything in the house . So in your mind now the man should choose the brother over his wife. Keep dreaming!

And about your statement on women going back to the kitchen....Do you feel threatened by women in authority? Lol

emiye:

Your write up is the ideal thing, but unfortunately we live in a real world not an ideal world.

There is always a greater chance of a backstab from a wife (less than 10 yrs old marriage) than a blood brother he has known all his life. Divorces, separation, are becoming more prevalent in the society.

Many or most Nigerian ladies based in Nigeria find it difficult to take that mental shift that it is not a big deal if u are earning way more than your husband (supposed breadwinner) like in this case 10 times more, they misbehave in a short space of time, likewise for men, they also tend to feel threatened and suspicious of their wife., it gets worse if the wife rubs it on his face . Jobs of such nature also tend to put strain on the wife performing the supposed wifely duties.


The decision could be easier if it was between the man's sister and wife. The unemployed brother is a man still living a dependent life on the couple, and living in their home. he needs to leave the couple's home . I believe the brothers should simply agree on a sharing formula for at least 12 months. 200k every month to help the wife start a business. In a year, that is 2.4 million naira.

Wife can backStap, brother can backstab. The focus now becomes the children. Which of the back stabbing will benefit the children Still? The brothers own or the wiFe'S own. No matter how many years you ve known ur brother or whoever it is, a day with ur wife haS covered that up!!!!

Maonyz:

When I hear how some people reason, I tremble, cry and finally kneel down and thank my God for the kind of man am married to! What wld I have done if I married someone like this poster

Simple you would have jumped over 3rd mainland bridge with a stone attached to your leg. SMH SO EVERY BODY SHOULD REASON LIKE YOU

Maonyz:

With? 60k? Hehehehehe...hahahahaha. Lol. Dats money for just breakfast. Poverty at itS peak!

HOW MUCH DO YOU EARN BROKE NIGGA FORMING DON

Maonyz:

Wife can backStap, brother can backstab. The focus now becomes the children. Which of the back stabbing will benefit the children Still? The brothers own or the wiFe'S own. No matter how many years you ve known ur brother or whoever it is, a day with ur wife haS covered that up!!!!

A LIE.

Like seriously? Tell ur friend to present both the brother and the wife and let their intelligence nd luck speak 4 dem. I presume dey won't just offer d person u bring in an automatic offer letter....procedures will still be followed right? Let d both b interviewed nd d luckier will b picked.



Well, my humble opinion.

koastar: Good day all, pls I need your advice on this issue.

A friend asked me this and I don't know what to tell him. According to him he was asked to present someone that read chemical engineering in an oil company by a close friend of his who works there.

My friend is an accountant and presently earns 60k per month where he works. He has a wife who is not working and a kid.

His wife is a chemical engineer by training and his only brother is also unemployed who read chemical engineering as well. His brother has been living with them for 2yrs now after his NYSC without job. My friend and his brother lost their parents while they were still very young and they are the only children of their parents.

My friend is now confused who to present to his friend for the job, his wife or brother. Your advice pls.

The salary for the oil job is 600k per month excluding allowances.

drez always more dan 1 way out of a problem, I don't wanna believe if he presents d 2 he'll be reprimanded 4 dat.....after all dey r still gonna interview more ppl.

dhabeautyjas:

Yes, when its within your power to help, you have to do but when the question is to make a choice between you spouse and them then your spouse should be the choice.

you're so right. how was your day beautiful? hope you're having fun?

CoCoLav:

Doing which chores? Did you see the part about the woman not having a job? That means she is actually a housewife and she doesn't need the brother in law for anything.

I know your type, I have seen them before. The only impact you make in the house is by the amount of food you consume and the dirty dishes you leave in the kitchen. You feel so comfortable because it is your brother's house and after all its your brother's money so why should you lift a finger to help do anything in the house . So in your mind now the man should choose the brother over his wife. Keep dreaming!

And about your statement on women going back to the kitchen....Do you feel threatened by women in authority? Lol

Hahaha lol ☺ lol whatever, I dn't know what it feels like living with a family member as d 1st child talkless of d last born in my family who also live alone, dats d spirit b4 a lady comes in, dat makes d family stronger
So no time to shout, u and I ve different points of view not my problem...

Maonyz:

Abi? Join me in thanking God for these mumuiSm that haS made uS Stay in peace and total happinesS for years.if what you diSplayed in your post here iS what you call wisdom, Keep your wisdom to your self.

Lol ☺ lol must u quote me, is either u read and pick wat u need, nairaland is melt to share ideals, mine is different from urs so no one is imposing wat u call wisdow on u pls grow up and enjoy ur man what's mine lol ☺ lol

How many people here will agree if their father wills his house to their uncle instead of their mother, after all the uncle is the fathers blood. That is why nowadays many young women will not keep a joint account with their husband or contribute to building a house with a man. They have seen what happened to their mothers who did all these and ended up the losers when such men died and made their brothers next of kin, because they are their blood. I know of a former ministers wife, when he died his brother took even his matrimonial bed saying it was too grand for the wife. She had to set up a buka during NUGA games to feed her family. The children had to beg him for school fees. Yet the man left millions in his account and his brother was a medical doctor. In the end her own brothers and sisters took over the children's welfare.

But come 2 think of it, if the guy puts in his wife, don't u thnk If a lady has dat kind of job and hubby earn 60k a month wahala no go dey?

Pick your wife

Chillisauce: Let him present the one that's most qualified. It's usually a disaster waiting to happen when one lacks what's required to do the job esp in a field like engineering . You can't hide.

No sentiments here.

Best advice!

[quote author=RazziP][/quote]. The husband is in good shape? Dude, the guy is earning 60000 ,do u have a family,do u know what it is like to care for one ?if u don't ,then there is no way u ll understand;and what make u think another opportunity won't come for the young man? Smh.

I don't usually post but from reading a lot of the comments that have been made I find it inexplicably demoralising and mentally agonising and I take this to be a sign of societal depravation and a complete misunderstanding of the concept of marriage that one will even THINK about putting up his brother for the Job when the wife is Jobless and the Husband is on a salary of 60k a year.

Some say blood is thicker than water and that they grew up with their brother bla bla bla.....As long as you still value your immediate family more than your marital one then I dont know how to help you. That's how stupid discussions like should I listen to my mother/brother/sister rather than my wife comes up or issues like some I have read here on Nairaland where my husband is fighting with me because I dont like his sister/mother/father/brother etc. What some wives go through sha na God go help them. When the bible says the two shall become one, it wasnt talking about your brother/mother/father/sister/uncle/aunty/guardian

Some say they will ask their brother to drop part of His salary...for how long will that happen? When the brother starts building his house or wants to buy a car then bye bye to your "cut" from His salary. when he has loans to service at work and he gets married and wants to travel for Holidays then bye bye to your "cut". When he starts investing in shares and properties then bye bye to your "cut". And if he is now posted abroad then you can kiss your "cut" goodbye. When your brother is sending his kids to Private secondary schools and Private universities maybe even abroad, I am sure he will send the 50k you need for the downtrodden schools for your own kids....wow!!!

Some say the wife may become pompous.....cant say much here just that you have a low self esteem. Try build up your self esteem more and dont tell me it happened to your Uncle....his own low self esteem is rubbing of on you. But if you prefer poverty for the family rather than prosperity for your wife...then na your own business be that.

For those who are not yet married make sure that you get to understand your partners opinion about important issues of life and living because once you get married na damage limitation go remain oh.

I want my brother to do well and if any offer comes along again I will offer it to him. My work involves working with people from the oil industry so I know more than most ehn.

I rest my case