Just become so religious. Even more than her.u married cos u love her just kp on loving her.she will change.shebi na church tins on point.tell her u self sabi GOD wella.

It seems u're not in charge of ur family. Are u saying that she stopped giving u the "kpekus" because of her new found belief abi she's unattractive again? Which one? Any way...a very potent solution is to watch ur wedding pictures and the video all over again together. I tell, it'l bring back her sanity. All these. Useless teachings by useless pastors mostly use diabolic means to mesmerize their listeners!

obayaya:

I don't think that's true.

The OP is going through a hard time adapting to his wife's sudden changes. And at such times, temptations abound. So far, he's been able to overcome the temptation.

He's only seeking advice on how to adapt to the changes as fast as possible and save his marriage.

The bolded is a rather harsh conclusion.

OP!!! Honestly I don't know what to tell you. I'm not married and I know very little about women and relationships. But I think you really need to remind yourself why you married your wife. The reasons you fell in love with her. I'm sure it's more than just her looks. look beyond that.

Goodluck

you have said it all... nicely put

my dear
marriage is for better for worse, but your wife's decision is to accept and serve God is the best.
Love her the more. and I guess you also serve the lord as she do. That is holy spirit at work. thanks!
NOTE; all these make up ann jewelries are gods(Gen35:1-4)

It's simple, WE KILL HER PASTOR!

OP, this aint no dilemma @all. Here is the plan. Shebi she still want all the outings, food and pocket bonuses? I guess yes. Fine. Tell her ure not okay with her new lifestyle but you respect her decision all the same. You'll nw begin to act as though all is well. This is where you'll now beat her to her game.

You'll also find your own "church". This "church" that you'll find will be against much pocket and food bonuses(add other things she loves)...TV shall become a sin, and the "church" holds late meetings at odd hours.lol ...did I forget to mention dat d "church" also believe that s.ex should be strictly for reproduction and not fun?

Trust me you should even bcom a "worker" in this "church" if you have to. Madam won't like you "church" at all, and she won't keep it a secret. Wen she wanna talk, remind her that you don't Like her new beliefs either, but you chose to respect it all the same, but of course you're willing to make a sacrifice to drop some just as she must also...after all, that's what marriages are all about...SACRIFICES! #WorksAlways

#BrosB4Hoes

Janetozi: @op, ur wife wasn't born with make-up & jewelry on her face & attachment on her hair & she is not going back to her creator that way. U should should have try to find out is she looks attractive without those artificial or not b4 getting married to her, but now that u have married her & she becomes born again, u have to support her. Lead her not into hell...... Those things she avoid using are what she have to sacrificed to get where she wants to spend her eternity. Hell may be cheap but heaven is not.

She wasn't born with jewelry and she won't go to heaven with any. Right. But your other arguments are wrong.

Whether you like it or not, men are lookers. We look a lot. And that's why it is important for a woman to look good especially for her husband. So I share op's sentiments.

The advice this guy needs is How to salvage his marriage from breaking down. He doesn't need any form of misguided and judgemental opinions.

Blockus:


OP!!

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

One day, take her by surprise, looosen your belt and whip her like a child that she is. And when you are done, give her an ultimatum; Return to factory default setting or move out.

Dont let any pastor become the head of your family. If your biitch isnt acting right, whip her or cut the biitch off.

And its okay if you cheat now, God would understand. If Virgin Mary looked like that, she would not had been God's babymama.

Wat a terrible advice .... Broz i hope ur okay

@op but she still dey do that tin with u na,if so don't cheat if she dey give u her hole.

If madam is suddenly looking 'unkept" then have you checked maybe its a case of depression?
If madam is becoming keeping to herself and her bible always don't think something is wrong and she is looking for solace?
If madam go more often to church than the kitchen, don't you think she is trying to escape something?
If madam suddenly hate make up don't you think she has discovered something?

Well I will advice you that instead waiting for some e-touts in Nairaland to bash you and your wife, call her, talk to her, go to that pastor talk to him ,pour out your mind, check his response, after that try get a professional councilor to work on her.

People must not become unkept because they found new religion, God himself wants what is clean. After all cleanliness is next to.........

I pray God grant and show you a way out of this disturbance, your marriage is too young so fight with all you have got to keep it.

May Allah guide you as you strife through the pot holes of marriage.


Keep your woman
keep your marriage
help your woman to help herself

You will overcome
AMIN.

Tallesty1: @Op, don't go nuts yet. She is just trying to devout herself to God, apparently to make up for her past mistakes. One thing that will be bother me if I were you is if she is in the right place or not. Believe me, all those thing she is doing are nothing if her church is not rooted in Christ.

Secondly, If you want her to listen to you then you must start studying the scripture with, infact pretend you need Christ more than she does. Hopefully she will be able to understand that most of those dos and don'ts do not apply to Todays's Christians.

Stop giving him a wrong idealogy, why ask him to pretend?

Op is looking for excuse to cheat on his wife. It is just a matter of time, she will change to suit your taste if you wish. All you need is to talk to her on how she can dress moderate to look attractive.

kovak:

She wasn't born with jewelry and she won't go to heaven with any. Right. But your other arguments are wrong.

Whether you like it or not, men are lookers. We look a lot. And that's why it is important for a woman to look good especially for her husband. So I share op's sentiments.

The advice this guy needs is How to salvage his marriage from breaking down. He doesn't need any form of misguided and judgemental opinions.

and the wife too is trying to salvage her relationship with God from breaking down. She doesn't need any form of misguided & judgmental opinions. Not from u nor from her husband or anyone.

ammyluv2002: I understand your point....I sugguest you find a way to still love her like that cause if that's the way she has chosen to worship her God, it won't be fair for you to start cheating on her. I know guys have areas that gets them attracted to ladies but you don't really have a choice here rather you should support her and makke her feel loved.

Btw, thatz why is always good to fall in love with the someone from the inside and not because of the physical apperance cause you may get married to a queen today and by tomorrow her beauty is gone. We should be able to still love those we claim we love even if the person turns out to be a skeleton tomorrow, just take a clue from a mother's love to her child or even God's love to His children. Love should be unconditional. @OP, pls don't get me wrong o...I'm not making reference to you, just saying generally

Stop deceiving the man please. He has told his wife not to do something and she is not listening. She should go and marry the church na and leave his house.

onegig: Sorry but it's very obvious you have never been married or you never placed yourself in his shoes before advicing.

Yes, saying he would cheat might have been immature of him to say but you can't just discard the main issue here.


In an ideal relationship, both partners are constantly working to achieve a goal. They work in sync.

You can't just discard his disatisfaction because this seems like a religious topic. I can't even recall anywhere in the Holy books where it was mentioned people must look UGLY and unkempt before they serve God?

The wife is the one making a drastic change here and she should learn she's in a relationship with someone and not by herself alone. The opinion of the other party also counts.

What about if it were to be something much more worse? Like she joining a smokers club. Shouldn't he be concerned also? He has tried to talk to her. The onion lies on her to convince her husband her new mode of dressing is the best thing for them and not taking unilateral decisions.

Simple things like this are what wreck homes and sow seeds of hate and enmity amongst couples.

Bro with your post. ... I hold my peace.There are hijab wearing muslim sisters who still look ravishing and attractive to their own men,simple make up which still make their men wink at them every now and then,yet upholding their faith and virtues.

would have love to go on but....Naija christians ...eish!

TheLeader: ... This is where you'll now beat her to her game...

Guy you dey c r a z e

Brother never use this as an opportunity to cheat on her...I know how hard it might be but keep on showing love to her never give up....I wonder what is going on on our modern Christianity...but keep on loving her

Your wife is making serious effort to move closer to God in terms of dressing and you are here looking for somebody to give you an advice on how to make her look like a Jezebel.

Lord have mercy.

God2man.

Op if I may ask, was it the woman you married or the trousers, makeup, jewelry she uses?
Avnt u ever tut she would eventually stop the use of those things one day?
It means u don't find her attractive without dos tinz (u look @ her with disgust wen she wakes bside u in d moring)

Thou shall not cheat on thy wife for no reason for it shall only cause more damage.

if she goes to one extreme you sef go the other extreme, play por.n on the dvd, smoke in her presence listening to bob marley, that way she'll know how it feel to choose an ideology that makes life unbearable to ones partner.

snowpe:
My question still standsif you have advice please give and don't interview me cos am in dilemma

most of d people here are little children who are not married they has no marital experience. I no d situation u are, I once have d same issue and I made her see dat her new lifestyle is capable of pushing me into the hand of other woman pointing out that am man and I have taste for life u don't expect me to just go for anyting dat is presented, to me packaging and attraction is it in evry issue possoble dis she knows so how can she just take away dat and expect me to remain d same. Beside I tuk her into the bible and made her see that those doctrines are not of God but fallacy from men who wants to create their own righteousness and standard to impress God. U know many of them don't read dat bible and even those dat read and many of those that preach don't understand it.

Janetozi: and the wife too is trying to salvage her relationship with God from breaking down. She doesn't need any form of misguided & judgmental opinions. Not from u nor from her husband or anyone.

This time I agree with you... none of us has the right to be judgemental against the wife nor her husband. We don't know what is truly going on in. Their minds.

Nice dp by the way. The jeans and brown shirt bring out your fine figure.

Alot of people on this forum are not married yet. Some are waiting for Jamb, some waiting for WAEC.

I cannot say I am married myself because marriage is different from boy friend and girl friend thing.

I suggest you pay a visit to the pastor of your local church were both of you worship alone. Explain to him that you are the kind of guy that pay attention to what your wife and people around you put on....bla bla bla
Tell him that the queen of your heart now look un kept etc

He will understand if he is a good man. Then invite your wife so that both of you can go see him for advice

My brother pls sit her down and let her know u " don't u know d scriptures to tell her wen she is doing the opposite in the bible. And if symptoms persit consult your doctor which is jesus

I WONDER WHY SOME PEOPLE THINK GOD HIMSELF LOOKS UNKEMPT, THEREFORE THEY TOO SHOULD. The floor of heaven is tiled with gold, which means God likes good things....he did not use sand on the floors and say, "I don't want to look expensive". We keep deceiving ourselves thinking a true christian is one who wears rags, keep their hair untidy and don't care how they look. You better start caring about your appearance. If you were to appear before your nation's leader or appointed to work in a prestigious firm, you would adorn yourself to look good, how much more to be a worker in the vineyard(company) of the creator of the universe himself? Should you look ragged and work in The Biggest Company in the World- God's company?
The roman soldiers cast lots on Christ's cloth which we learnt was seamless. For them to cast lots to determine a winner (instead of tearing up the cloth), I bet it must have been of worthwhile stock. Our God says, "My people perish for lack of knowledge". Women make themselves unattractive to their husbands in the name of worshipping God, tempting their husbands to look outside...and then they think they have the right to run to God and say, "my husband is looking outside" and He's gonna shake their hands and say, "it's not your fault" . You need to check carefully because it cannot be God you are following His footsteps...it is someone else- maybe your religious leader who hasn't understood the mind of God.
You are created in the image of God. Do you think for one minute that God looks ragged? For what reason then did He create the fine things He did ( gold, diamond, etc) and gave man the brains to make finer things out of them? Was it for the animals to use? Of course not.
Pls, look good. Where one should be concerned about is moderation.

xynerise:
And if she doesn't make-up you will have no choice than to cheat on her?

YES, the husband will have two options, one - cheat on her, two - send her packing. This is because she is throwing away all the qualities that attracted the husband to her. He married her for some qualities he saw in her, once she throws away those qualities, she also throws away her marriage.

The husband definitely saw deeper life and mountain of fire church goers but did not ask any of them for marriage, instead he married a fashionable, well dressed and presentable coca-cola shaped damsel. She cannot change to holy Mary over-night. That is breach of agreement.

What is ur definition of unkempt and lack of make - up,I live with ladies and I know dose scenarios are very subjective...no matter what,its nt a good reason to cheat,if u cheat,u're only putting urself in trouble and nt ur wife.

Crixie: I don't agree with you ooooh... Her style of worshiping God should not affect their marriage, Imagine the husband chooses to become celibate as his own style of worshiping God... Hope the woman would accept it

reasonable comment so far

Nairalanders hypocrisy never seem to amaze me. Someone comes looking for an advice and everyone is acting all holier than thou and judgemental. All these cheating married men that are flooding the place are they from mars? The fact is some men justifies the tinniest reason on cheating on their wives. This one even seems more legit than some I've heard over the years.

OP try to talk to her. She really has to know her new dress sense is making her unattractive to you. let her know that reason you're so bothered is you don't want to have a reason to look outside. If she has any regards for the marriage, I assure you, she'll change.

I'll assume the OP has a sincere mindset to this issue. I'm sure that after 4 years of living with his wife, he knows exactly what she looks like without makeup and jewellery. Some men just prefer their wives looking all decked up and all that.

However the woman should also realise that she is now ONE with her husband and major decisions like this has to be discussed with her man. Whether she likes it or not, he is her head as long as she is alive and he is accountable for her wellbeing in all areas, same for her.

Dear OP, sit down with your wife, discuss what you feel you aren't comfortable with and try to reach a compromise. Although I'm not in support of a woman looking dirty and unkempt in the name of "born again". She can still look very presentable with her natural hair even without makeup, jewellery and trousers as long as she decides to be wise and organised. It's not that hard!

Understanding, communication and some form of compromise is needed if you are to enjoy your home. Only you knows the woman you married so deal with it in a matured way. I'm guessing you are the same faith with your wife sha.

2ndking: my dear
marriage is for better for worse, but your wife's decision is to accept and serve God is the best.
Love her the more. and I guess you also serve the lord as she do. That is holy spirit at work. thanks!
NOTE; all these make up ann jewelries are gods(Gen35:1-4)

do not teach what you do not understans, Mr man. Those things are not 'gods' as you say. When the things of this world mean more to you than God Himself that's when they become 'gods' to you. When you covet them as you shouldn't....when your heart is on them..that is the evil thereof.