My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby - Family - Nairaland
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| My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by goincrazy: 11:50pm On Feb 25, 2009 |
I am married to a pretty and vain wife and we have a 3yr old daughter. I want us to try for another baby but she has bluntly refused. Reason - she wants to keep her figure and focus on her career for at least 6 yrs!!I suspect she is not interested in any more kids. I am in my early 30s and had hoped to have three kids by 35yrs. At this rate i will be 50yrs b4 she agrees for another child. ha this is d problem wit marrying a fine babe. She has moved out becos of the pressure and d marriage is about to hit d rocks. NL members how do we resolve this? Egba mi o!! |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Hauwa1: 12:04am On Feb 26, 2009 |
babies make you look younger. so at 50 you will be fine playing titsy titsy bitsy spider  don't let the issue put strain in your marriage. as long as other things are fine, why worry eh? it's flimsy. she is not interested in kids for now is just it right? you still enjoy your sex life right? so no problem now. at least she is working and bringing home the bacon maybe the pig you know. 1 Like |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by tope2000(f): 12:09am On Feb 26, 2009 |
Um . . . . . didnt u guys talked whilst dating as to what you want in life n how you've planned ur life b4 marrying each other?  Cuz if you did u wud have known the kind of person she is b4 marryin her, so stop complaining. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by goincrazy: 12:36am On Feb 26, 2009 |
b4 we got married, we agreed on d timing so why d change? i am financially secure and take good care of my family. so why wait? she's no longer even interested in sex. she's scared i will try to get her pregnant i guess, As as i said earlier, she jus picked up my daughter and moved in with her Mum 2 months ago. All attempts to get her to come back has failed. Jus to think dat i paid her tuition for 2yrs and now as soon as she gets her degree, she remembers she's a career woman. I jus get these bad feelin i have been conned. I guess i shld be expectin d divorce papers anytime soon, |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by tope2000(f): 12:40am On Feb 26, 2009 |
Hmmmm . . . .there is more to this story jare she just picked up her kid n went to her mum's house? and her reasons are?? |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by MrCrackles(m): 12:43am On Feb 26, 2009 |
goin_crazy: Sort yourself out! |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Nobody: 4:55am On Feb 26, 2009 |
she conned you. She doesnt want you anymore and is not willing to be encumbered with more kids with you. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by sparta(f): 8:31am On Feb 26, 2009 |
@ poster I believe you guys would have discussed the number of children you want to have together before you tied the knot. I dont believe children make women lose their figure, her problem is ignorance. Victoria beckham (a model) has 3 children (all boys i believe) and she still has her figure, your wife needs serious orientation. Come to think of it, what is her dear mum saying about it? My mama is over 50, her first child is over 30 and believe me she still has a great figure that still makes people wonder if is even over 40. As for career, when we grow old which is inevitable, it is our loved ones that will be there for us not our collegues. Living a blanced life is very important unfortunately most people dont know how too go about it. Am a career woman too (workind and still studying) and i want to have 3 to 4 kids so that i will have lots of grand children running around me when i grow old. Dont want to grow old and be lonely, nah nah.  5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by JustGood(m): 11:32am On Feb 26, 2009 |
Is she a Nigerian? I ask because I dont think this is something the average nigerian woman would give as a reason for not wanting another child. |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by omega25red(m): 2:29am On Mar 02, 2009 |
like one other responder said there seems to be more to this story than you are sharing. Anyway if i were you i would contat a lawyer to find out what your rights are in case of a divorce. As in custody and visitation rights. Also be ready to pay child supprot |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by SeanT21(f): 2:06am On Mar 03, 2009 |
Thats wrong. Well,I have no advice 4 U. I dont know what to say about this one because I am sure there is more to this story. Why did she take the girl and leave? Did she give You a reason? Why not try adopting? |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Nobody: 2:49am On Mar 03, 2009 |
@ poster what is it about marriage and children. you wife gave you a child and you want to push her into having more, if your wife wants to further her career then you should stand by her decision and support her. the fact that you are financially secure doesn't mean that you have to make all the couple decisions, now, was having another child worth loosing your wife?! i can understand her, who wants to be pushed/forced into doing something they don't want to do. let her focus on her career and if you desperately wants more children then i am sure you guys can adopt many. there are too many women who drop their career for their marriages only to be dropped later on in life without a career to fend for themselves. i sincerely believe that there is more to this story because if she only wanted to NOT have children then she would have just taking the right contraception and not run away. sparta:WRONG!!!!! Victoria Beckham has had cesarean procedures (elective c section) on ALL her pregnancies and you can sometimes see her hideous scar. it's well know that most Hollywood starlets have cesarean procedures to keep their figures, tight toto and pelvic floor untouched(Madonna, Britney, Christina Aguilera, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Hudson, Patricia Heaton, Elizabeth Hurley the list goes on).all these women don't even look like they ever bore children. most "normal" women DO LOOSE their figures and can regain it by exercises/dieting etc therefore you cannot compare VB or any person you see on tv with the poster's wife. not everybody can afford to go to private hospitals where you can dictate what type of birth you desire. |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by spikedcylinder: 7:51am On Mar 03, 2009 |
A woman has a right to her own body. . . . . |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by doranna: 10:56am On Mar 03, 2009 |
 Hello nigerlanders, I'm new on the forum.Truth be told,I strongly believe that she doesn't love u as much as she used to or better still she has found something that interests her better than you do.I mean how can she just wake up one day and decide to be done with the marriage? U just gave her a reason to bring out what she's had on her mind for sometime. The sorry story of not wanting to lose her figure. Whoelse is the figure meant for, if not you? She's being selfish and has used you to achieve her dreams. You've truly been conned,that's if what you told us is the whole story. |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by FBS: 1:05pm On Mar 03, 2009 |
spikedcylinder:just as the man has the right to ask for more children. That is certainly not out of place. They are married, abi be ko? Her body now belongs to her husband and vice versa. (remember the 2 shall become 1) @topic, have you told the whole story? There may be more to this. |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Iranoladun(f): 1:18pm On Mar 03, 2009 |
Hmmm, there is more  Why moved out and take kid along because you disagree over child bearing issue? What is the mums position and the other members of her family? Or is it Lagos marriage you guys did?  |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Nobody: 3:29pm On Mar 03, 2009 |
FBS: you are absolutely right, he has the right to ASK but he has no right to FORCE her into doing something she doesn't want to do, and it's clear that she DOESN'T want any more children at the moment. |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Omima(m): 12:11am On Mar 04, 2009 |
@poster The solution to your problem lies with your mother-in-law.I guess she is either the initiator of your wife's decision to move out or she is solidly in support of her decision to move out;otherwise she would have made effort to ensure that her daughter returns to her matrimonial home rather than accommodating her for the past two months.Don't be surprised if you learn that her mother already has another man{probably more financially loaded than you}for her daughter.As the Yoruba people would say 'it is better to have a bad wife than to have a bad mother-in-law'. 1 Like |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by achoudeh(m): 6:11am On Mar 04, 2009 |
My g, i am very sorry, just try and talk with her try and make her see reason with you, but if she refuse i will advice you to start looking for another woman, cos she might not be the woman for you? Pray and ask God for your wife,that's my opinion |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by FBS: 8:58am On Mar 04, 2009 |
MRbrownJAY:absolutely nonsense. I used the word ask, because, well, this is the 21st century (civilization etc) but that dont mean he has no right to have another child. Maybe not necessarily force though. Subject to if the poster has actually told the whole story, he has every damn right because she consented to having more than one baby before they got married. why the sudden decision to stop having more only because she wants to keep her shape after one baby? nonsense. |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by JustGood(m): 10:33am On Mar 04, 2009 |
This is why a man needs to think well before getting into marriage. It's not just about what we call love because that so-called love tends to fade in the presence of other factors of marriage. A woman who's body is more important than her family and a man who places greater importance on having children than his wife's looks is not a good combination for marriage. Many little things that we overlook are important in marriage because the attitude of the other party towards things will be magnified when you get married. |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by goincrazy: 1:11pm On Mar 04, 2009 |
What are my rights concerning my baby? She has refused for me to have access or even know where she is. Any lawyers here? How long does she have to be away b4 i can file for abandonment?  We lived in lekki part of lagos, nigeria but necessary marriage rites were conducted (church, court, traditional). I think she was tired of the marriage and jus needed an excuse to leave. She jus keeps changin her numbers and callin me to ask dat we go to court and dissolve d marriage and prepare to give her half of my properties and pay child support and alimony. Does dat work in naija? |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Iranoladun(f): 2:39pm On Mar 04, 2009 |
Now this is the real issue!!! You have simply end up with a 'gold digger'. She has been waiting patiently for an opportunity to get out of the marriage and the issue of baby making just came at the rig th time. 1. A woman who disagree with her husband over an issue of how many babies to have and who is not making efforts to convince you of her point (no matter how plausible it sound) 2. but is opting out of the marriage (cutting the head off is never a solution to headache!!!)and also asking you how to share properties and payment of alimony was only into the marriage for her material gain all along- mark my word Anyway, back to my question what did your mother in-law (her mum) did/say in all this matter? What about other family members yours and hers? 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Nobody: 6:44pm On Mar 04, 2009 |
FBS: he has ALL the right to have another child AS LONG AS THE WIFE WANTS IT TOO!!!!! so are you insinuating that nobody can change their mind?! is it against the law to learn from experiences?! maybe she had a hard time baring the first child and DO NOT want to go through with another pregnancy again, who are we to DEMAND that this woman has another child if she doesn't want it. is a married woman just good for having children? the rate that 9ja men like to have mistresses, i can understand why she wants to keep her figure to stay sexy and hopefully keep her man in check! now the poor fella is pouring his soul on NL instead of having a great time with his family. @poster WAS ALL THIS MULTIPLE PREGNANCY STUFF WORTH LOOSING YOUR FAMILY? 1 Like |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Nobody: 6:59pm On Mar 04, 2009 |
goin_crazy:My guy. Look for another wife. This is naija we r talking about. She aint getting nothing. Hope the tuition you paid wasn't abroad or something cos that go really pain u ohh. She obviously is a gold digger so all you need is to move on with ur life and find a better woman. She will live to regret it. There are several of them in naija now. Shameless idiots who have kids and carry small boys around. They never end up well. I'm guessing you married her after you came back from the west, abi? |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by congoshine(m): 7:16pm On Mar 04, 2009 |
@poster, You're obviously not shining her congo properly !!! |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by agabaI23(m): 8:02pm On Mar 04, 2009 |
Hehehe That your wife has read too much foreign gossip magazines. You are yet to answer the question-what did her mother say? what is her mums opinion? |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by DeReloaded: 8:06pm On Mar 04, 2009 |
Jus to think dat i paid her tuition for 2yrs and now as soon as she gets her degree, she remembers she's a career woman why pay for tuition if you wanted a housewife? Let her work for a while before pushing for another kid(I bet she was exagerrating about waiting 6 years) abi you wanna turn her into a factory? |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by walcolm(m): 8:06pm On Mar 04, 2009 |
your runaway wife says you shld be ready to give her half your property and pay alimony? are u a nigerian? if you are then, your wife must have made a long assessment of you and concluded you're stupid. if you're not a Nigerian, then she's just trying to con you. btw, where is your (ex) wife from? if you eventually proceed to a court, make sure you get a lawyer outside of your circle of influence who cannot be influenced by your wife. 1 Like |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Nobody: 8:11pm On Mar 04, 2009 |
o congoshine: ahahahahah from someone who has CONGOSHINE as a name, PRICELESS! agabaI23: OR what is the REAL reason why she suddenly left? you make this woman sound like she has western mind when it comes to marriage, if that was the case, she would have just used pills like every woman out there and not need to move out/keep you away from your child. seems like, there is much more to this story than you care to divulge. |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by DeReloaded: 8:13pm On Mar 04, 2009 |
MRbrownJAY: That's true. Instead of "running away from you" over sex, she'd be taking birth control. There's a hole somewhere. |
| Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by agabaI23(m): 8:16pm On Mar 04, 2009 |
Did you beat her? We have only heard one side of the story. You see when TOH ran away from my house, he went and told her parents I was not shining her congo whereas she ran away because she said I wan kill her for bedroom Lets hear the real gist jare |
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