I was browsing and i came across this
Q. As I read through your website and book, I notice that the D&S activities that couples participate in seem to get more intense with each passing year. What worked last year is getting boring this year. You stress over and over again that serving your woman is the core of the FemDom lifestyle, and it is the place to start. Why does this lifestyle seem to progress is such a perverted way? Why is the man not content with just serving his woman? I know in my own life I’m getting bored with just servitude and find my mind drifting to the D&S fantasies. Just servitude doesn’t seem to be giving me the fulfillment that you claim other submissive men are experiencing.

Is the FemDom lifestyle really like an addictive drug that you need to increase the dose every year by getting more perverted in your D&S activities?

A. What exactly are you referring to when you say “perverted D&S activities?” And why are they perverted? If two people embrace a mutually fulfilling lifestyle and if two people embrace a consensual sexuality within a loving relationship, it is not perverted. It may be “unique” or it may be “wild” or it may be “trend-setting” or it may even be what certain elements in society would call “kinky” but that does not mean it is “perverted”.

Having laid that down as foundation, now we can examine your most interesting question. Does the female domination progress? Yes, it should or else it will become stagnate. Another word for progression is growth and I think we should always be growing in our relationships. A relationship that is not growing is dying. Divorce is so rampant because so many relationships stop progressing.

Does progression within a female domination relationship mean that the activities become more intense? Perhaps, but not necessarily. Growth can occur on many levels and in many ways. What is intense for one couple might be mild to another couple depending on their sexuality and their emotional and sexual needs. I would say that a man who was reluctant to do household chores for his wife in the beginning of a FemDom relationship but who now does them willingly is a man who has experienced growth. Perhaps some intense D&S activities assisted in his growth or perhaps he made the transition in his heart through a revelation of a woman’s worth and a woman’s authority. Again, each person is unique and every journey is not the same.

It seems your question equates servitude as a beginning point which leads to more advanced FemDom interactions. You didn’t say this in your question but allow me to make an assumption of what you are implying. You feel a man who does chores and who serves his wife in a domestic way today will become bored unless the woman’s domination becomes more advanced. I would venture to guess you are looking at the stories on my site and you figure that perhaps male chastity or male discipline through corporal punishment is needed to keep the man focused. This might lead to other activities where the woman exerts more power, perhaps cuckolding.

I cannot dismiss your premise because some couples do progress along this path. As a woman grows in power and as the male surrenders more areas of his life over to the woman, it is only natural that they will desire to experience new things and they will want to explore new levels. As trust is built and as intimacy grows, that opens the door to new possibilities. However, it is a mistake to assume that a certain path will be followed because every couple is different. There are couples who might think that a golden shower is the wildest thing they can imagine and once they experiment with that they may think they have just expanded their boundaries beyond anything they ever dared imagined. Yet, another couple might think of a golden shower as mild and no big deal, thus the experience would not have the same effect or equate to the same level of a power exchange.

There is a progression and there needs to be a progression or else the relationship will become stale. However, that progression will vary from couple to couple. The woman needs to grow in her dominance just like the male needs to grow in his submission. D&S activities can assist that growth but we grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It is what is happening on the inside of our natures that matters. The externals will vary and some people will view those externals as being wild or mild or kinky or tame or perhaps even perverted but the bottom line is that the value of any D&S activity depends on the valuation the couple sets upon that activity.

D&S is not like a drug where the body needs something stronger in order to achieve the same kind of “high”. There may be people who are out of balance and who are not grounded in their D&S relationship, thus D&S can become a kind of sexual addiction. But that can happen with any form of sexuality. There are people who are addicted to intercourse and who “sleep around” and are emotionally unfulfilled due to a sexual addiction. There are people who are addicted to pornography who cannot relate to a real relationship because reality can never match fantasy. There are many forms of sexual addiction and D&S is not immune from this.

When practiced within a loving and committed relationship, D&S can be a very healthy form of sexuality, especially if it is within the realm of a female domination lifestyle. D&S requires trust and trust must be earned and built through genuine intimacy. Domination and submission cannot be faked for very long. When that power exchange is genuine, it satisfies both parties.

When an appetite is satisfied it may become hungry again in order to experience growth. D&S is more like our need to eat. We hunger, we eat, we are satisfied but we hunger again because our bodies need it to live and to grow. That is why female domination is a lifestyle. It is an on-going progression and it is an on-going journey. Those that stop growing are those that starve that area of their lives and that area is in danger of dying.

The submissive desire of man will not go away, so what will die is the intimacy of the relationship. Romance can die. Intimacy can die. But the male desire to be dominated by a woman will not die. It will channel its appetite in another direction. I tell women that if their FemDom relationship stops growing, they can be assured that their husbands will turn to other avenues, be it FemDom internet sites, or FemDom magazines or DVD’s, or even a Professional Dominatrix.

It is Ok to take breaks from this lifestyle and we can certainly enjoy our new levels of growth for prolonged periods of time, but at some point there will need to be new growth. What that growth entails will vary from couple to couple. There is no magic formula or magic plan. You have to be true to your heart and be willing to share with each other and experiment with each other. There is no substitute for communication and honesty. And for all men, there is no substitute to developing a servant’s heart. No matter how much you want to experience the more “advanced” stuff, the fundamentals of serving a woman will never change. That is what will always provide the deepest fulfillment to the submissive nature of man.

So getting back to the central point of your question, a man can be fulfilled and happy by simply serving a woman. It comes down to his heart and his attitude. You may be desiring more advance D&S play but when you come into that revelation of the value and the authority of women, your submissive nature will find that all forms of serving (both inside and outside the bedroom) are fulfilling. You may not be there yet but that will come with growth if you stay committed to your service of your wife. Take care!

What do you think can it work in nigeria?

are you actually serious

a gal spanking a man not only in the bed but outside doing chores like a ,

i donot think so

niger dudes r not that enlightened yet o

i think that even if the Nigerian man has such desires, his pride and ego will not let him express them. . . not unless it is a truely unique relationship in which d man trusts his wife over what nigerian society expects of him.

i saw it in a site ok dont shoot the messager ok

Wow interesting this is something that i may be interested in
the idea of dominating a man's mind is so interesting

Really orchlady you sound like you want to
try this out why? The idea of dominating a
man mind but it is too the nasty here or you
are a nasty girl in nigeria.

Yes i am a nasty girl that like controlling men
and this is another good way of doing that.

well i am not a dominatrix yet but to go to
that level isnt what i have in mind. Well i will reach
that level one day but now it is all about sexy games
that gives me control over a man's mind

So what do u like to do in the D&S? Sharon stone
did that in Basic Instinct well it was on the light sideand
mandonna did it in Body of Evidence her was the right
mix as they called her a dominatrix so what are you

Wow ouchlady, am d guy u need, any interested woman in abuja who want to date a submissive man she can sit on face, fart in his mouth, watch him clean and lick ur Asshole with joy, female dominant led relationship. whatsapp 08183112696

Orchlady:
Wow interesting this is something that i may be interested in
the idea of dominating a man's mind is so interesting

I'm interested too babe, let's give it a try okay

Any female who have interest in fendom or BSDM should whatsapp me on 07038882317