There was a man named Scopium and Scopium knew EVERYONE in the whole world!!! Once when Scopium got a new job, Scopium says to his new boss, "Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!" His boss doesn't believe him, so he says "No you do not know everyone in the whole world" but Scopium says "Yes I do!" so Scopium's boss says "Well prove it!" then Scopium says "Pick someone, and I know them!"

Well Scopium's boss thinks for a minute and then comes up with a name. "Tom Selleck! I bet you don't know Tom Selleck!" Scopium says "Tom Selleck! Tom and I were in boy scouts together when we were kids!" but Scopium's boss says "No you weren't!" then Scopium says "Yes we were!" so they fly to Hollywood and drive up to Tom Selleck's house. Scopium knocks on the door and Tom Selleck answers and Scopium goes "Tom!!!" and Tom goes "Scopium!" and they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Scopium's boss can't believe it. But then he thinks "Well that could happen, it's just one person," so he tells Scopium and Scopium says "OK, pick somebody else!"

This time Scopium's boss has someone in mind! "The president, Bill Clinton! You don't know Bill Clinton!" but Scopium says "Oh yes I do! Bill and I were on debate team together in college!" Scopium's boss says "No you weren't!" and Scopium says "Yes we were!" so they fly to Washington and they catch up with the President at a press conference. They work their way through the crowd until Scopium get's close enough to catch Clinton's eye and waves "Bill!" and the President waves "Scopium!" and after the press conference they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Scopium's boss is stunned-- he can't believe it. But then he thinks "Well that's just two people in one country-- that doesn't mean he knows everyone in the whole world!" so he tells Scopium and Scopium says "OK, pick someone out of the world spectrum and I know them!"

And Scopium's boss knows just who to pick so he says "The Pope! You do not know the Pope!" and Scopium says "The Pope! The Pope BAPTIZED me!" and Scopium's boss says "No he didn't!" and Scopium says "Yes he did!" so they fly to Rome where the Pope is giving Mass in front of hundreds of thousands of people. They work their way through the crowd-- without much luck-- so Scopium says "Boss, we're never gonna get there together through all these people so I tell you what--I'll work my way up there and when I do, I'll give you a sign that shows you I know the Pope!" and he leaves. Well Scopium's boss waits and waits and waits and just when he's about to give up, he sees the Pope come out onto the balcony and right there beside him is Scopium!

Shortly afterwards, Scopium's boss passes out. Scopium comes back and finds his boss passed out and he fans him and says "Boss! Boss! Wake up!" and when his boss comes to, he asks "Boss what happened?" Scopium's boss looks at Scopium and says "OK, I can see Tom Selleck. I can see Bill Clinton, hell, I can even take the Pope! But when somebody standing next to me asks 'Who's that up there with Scopium?' that's a little more than I can take!

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