PrinceAdepoju: We are not helping him if we keep quiet.

Be it regular updater or good writer, there's a difference in regular updates and just-updates.

@Akinpelumi. Okay, why do you think Audrey is gaining ground as a regular updater than T.Dan.
The last time I checked, T.Dan had started posting his stories before her. So, where did all those "her-voters come from?

You can imagine when SammyHoe was new on Nairaland too. The EBIAG story brought him many followers. . .i think it's Audrey's time now.

I have to second thepatriot's post.

I've tried very hard to keep this cos I don't want to sound harsh or rude. But, thank you for voicing out my mind sir.

It seems we are taking this voting thing too far. This is a faceless forum and there's nothing any writer can do if a reader doesn't vote him or her.
The voting should not be by force, it should be voluntary. I've seen some readers ask for the link to the voting thread cos they wanted to vote for Writer.

That's how it should be!

On the other hand, I've developed interest in some writers here on Nairaland. Thier write-ups are almost flawless.
I don't think AudreyTimms begged her readers before they start voting for her.... and she won in less than a month(which amazes me till tomorrow!)

I will support you, sir, in advising TemitopeDaniel to work on himself in terms of grammar and composition which you stated.

I'm really sorry to confess this that the story is getting boring to me. It maybe because of the interesting ones I've come accross.
But this will not stop me from following T.Dan.

It should be a challenge for T.Dan and others to buckle up and improve. I'm not a better writer though.

@all readers and followers, there are so many ways to encourage T.Dan other than the voting thing. If he wins, good; if he doesn't, good.

We can help him by humbly criticizing his works and confess our mind, not pretend. This will go a long way in developing him.

We should quit the pretense and confess our minds, please.

I pray you will find a way to forgive me for this, boss.

I almost wept when I read this. Finally! Someone who shares my passion for writing. I'm so pleased. I guess it's just the Nigerian factor where everyone has to beef everone else because we are on opposite sides of the fence. I don't have any beef for Tee Dan. I don't know Audrey from Adam but I've never criticized her work because she knows, accepts and wants to work on her shortcomings. I have never criticized any other writer here apart from Tee Dan because I know he's not exploiting his full potentials. But readers are seeing it as beef. I got caught up in the heat of the moment also by declaring war but I have apologised.

Thanks for this piece PrinceAdepoju. One can only hope they all take it in good faith and not burn us in hell with their minds.

Thanks.

PrinceAdepoju: We are not helping him if we keep quiet.

Be it regular updater or good writer, there's a difference in regular updates and just-updates.

@Akinpelumi. Okay, why do you think Audrey is gaining ground as a regular updater than T.Dan.
The last time I checked, T.Dan had started posting his stories before her. So, where did all those "her-voters come from?

You can imagine when SammyHoe was new on Nairaland too. The EBIAG story brought him many followers. . .i think it's Audrey's time now.

I have to second thepatriot's post.

I've tried very hard to keep this cos I don't want to sound harsh or rude. But, thank you for voicing out my mind sir.

It seems we are taking this voting thing too far. This is a faceless forum and there's nothing any writer can do if a reader doesn't vote him or her.
The voting should not be by force, it should be voluntary. I've seen some readers ask for the link to the voting thread cos they wanted to vote for Writer.

That's how it should be!

On the other hand, I've developed interest in some writers here on Nairaland. Thier write-ups are almost flawless.
I don't think AudreyTimms begged her readers before they start voting for her.... and she won in less than a month(which amazes me till tomorrow!)

I will support you, sir, in advising TemitopeDaniel to work on himself in terms of grammar and composition which you stated.

I'm really sorry to confess this that the story is getting boring to me. It maybe because of the interesting ones I've come accross.
But this will not stop me from following T.Dan.

It should be a challenge for T.Dan and others to buckle up and improve. I'm not a better writer though.

@all readers and followers, there are so many ways to encourage T.Dan other than the voting thing. If he wins, good; if he doesn't, good.

We can help him by humbly criticizing his works and confess our mind, not pretend. This will go a long way in developing him.

We should quit the pretense and confess our minds, please.

I pray you will find a way to forgive me for this, boss.

There's nothing to forgive u about, you are only helping me now... It's just for a while, for a while...

Lol at thepatriot.... love u guys... I can't blame Akin too for a reason best known to us.... He knows me well and knows what's going on with me.

Really love u guys, as in... Love u bosses!!!

My next piece will b d beginning of my change, I assure u.

thepatroit:
I almost wept when I read this. Finally! Someone who shares my passion for writing. I'm so pleased. I guess it's just the Nigerian factor where everyone has to beef everone else because we are on opposite sides of the fence. I don't have any beef for Tee Dan. I don't know Audrey from Adam but I've never criticized her work because she knows, accepts and wants to work on her shortcomings. I have never criticized any other writer here apart from Tee Dan because I know he's not exploiting his full potentials. But readers are seeing it as beef. I got caught up in the heat of the moment also by declaring war but I have apologised.

Thanks for this piece PrinceAdepoju. One can only hope they all take it in good faith and not burn us in hell with their minds.

Thanks.

I should thank you for making the move. Your post prompted me to writing mine.

We both know we want the best for T.Dan.

And I'm glad we're on the same path, sir.

TemitopeDaniel: There's nothing to forgive u about, you are only helping me now... It's just for a while, for a while...

I very much believe in you, sir!!

Thanks, boss.

loading**** I've been weak.

To me,theres nothing wrong with this story,every writer has his own style,TeeD,dont dwell much on critics

chii8: To me,theres nothing wrong with this story,every writer has his own style,TeeD,dont dwell much on critics

There are many errors in it... try to read Unfulfilled Promises, you'll know what I mean... d structure and co... buh I go change. ..

update drops by 2:30 prompt

TemitopeDaniel: There are many errors in it... try to read Unfulfilled Promises, you'll know what I mean... d structure and co... buh I go change. ..

hmmm...pls remind me wat diction is in literature,be ursef,hv ur style,let pple read a story n predict who d writer is
anyway,my opinion(uche onye adi njo).

EPISODE TWENTY SEVEN.

    6PM.

    Hakeem walked into Aishat's office after he had been told to. He looked serious as if he had come to sort out some issues with her. "Aishat." He called her name and approached her table more.

    Aishat had been in a bad mood since Derin insulted her. She had been cerebrating on the issue, if Hakeem was real or fake. It had been long she heard anything about Azeezat again, she knew nothing about Derin and had been disturbed because Derin looked real.

    Is Hakeem real at all? Where did he meet that lady? I don't even know if anything is still going on between us, I guess not, I don't think so.

    "I hope we are not accounting anything tonight again?" Aishat asked.

    "Not at all, I came concerning the lady that harassed you earlier." He paused and sat down. "I don't know her at all, believe me."

    "Does it affect me? You shouldn't be telling me this, you should go and tell Azeezat." She replied and stood up.

    "Where are you now off to and who's Azeezat by the way?" He questioned.

    "I'm going home, I can't afford to get home late tonight again." Aishat replied him.

    "Let's finish this discussion, I assure it won't take much of your time." Hakeem said.

    "Hakeem, what is it you have to say? I really don't have time today." She looked uncomfortable due to his presence.

    "About the lady who insulted you. I'm sorry about it." He said.

    "Sorry? Alright." She said sharply.

    Hakeem smiled, he knew she was angry already. "Aishat." He drawled her name.

    "Hakeem, won't you go and meet your friends? I really don't have time for all this."

    "My friends just left, each of them went to important places." He replied.

    "Then, go home." She hissed and walked out.

    She must be really annoyed, to have done this. Hakeem walked after her.

▶◀▶◀▶◀▶◀▶◀▶◀

    Hakeem drove after Aishat. He almost got to General Gas road when he had a flat tyre. Hastrup had gone to meet his father again while Uthman had gone to visit Shukurat. He got down instantly and looked at Aishat's car as it drove away. He brought out his jack and extra tyre to change it quickly before it would be later than that.

    He concluded the fixing after six minutes. He was sweating already and packed the flat tyre and the jack. While he was carrying the tyre, his inhaler fell from his chest pocket on the floot. He shut the boot of the car and drove off, he never knew his inhaler had fallen where he changed the tyre.

    He picked up his phone and called Uthman to know what was going on between him and Shukurat then, Uthman sounded as if he was almost dead. "Please, just find something to cook for me. I'm really hungry." He told Hakeem.

    "Really? Why on earth didn't you go for lunch?" Hakeem questioned him.

    "I did, I took fried rice but I don't know where this hunger is coming from, hunger dey wire me. I'm just getting to the front of Shukurat's house."

    "Just getting there? She's going to give you food now." Hakeem smiled.

    "Abeg jurh, person wey dey vex me."

    "She's vexing you? That Derin should be the one vexing you, not Shuku."

    "Anyways, abeg prepare food for me."

"Alright." Hakeem replied and drove on.

*****

"The day was a bad day." Aishat stepped into the living room.

"Welcome." Tomisin greeted her.

"Yeah, thanks to you Tomi. How was your own day?" She sat down.

"It was cool, what made the day bad again?" Tomi asked her. She put down her left leg which had been placed on the stool before and faced Aishat. She had been at home throughout the day reading romance novels by Pastor Taiwo Iredele. That had been keeping her company because the woman was a genius at writing heart warming romance novels. She had three of the novels on the centre table and two with her on the sofa that time.

"You and novels!" Aishat smiled.

Tomi beamed. "I just have to read them, they've been keeping me company. Besides, I told you about this woman, she's a genius."

"I'll read all her novels soon." She told her and took off her handbag.

"Anyways, what happened to you today?" Tomi asked her.

"I was harassed by lady, I don't even know her." She frowned.

Tomisin smiled. "Where did you guys meet?"

"She came to Hakeem's office and behaved as if she was his.. his whatever."

"What?" Tomisin laughed.

Aishat smiled and continued. "I'm serious now, I can't even trust Hakeem any longer."

"Have you always trusted him?"

"You've started this your frustrating questions now, It's been long I heard about Azeezat."

"Do you expect him to keep telling you about her?" Tomi faced her novel this time and continued reading.

"To cut the long story short, the lady harassed me in his office because I mistakenly called him by name, she just did as if she was his wife-to-be."

"She might be it, who know?" Tomi smiled and peeked at Aishat.

"It seems something is wrong with you right... She can't be."

Tomi laughed and dropped the novel on the sofa. She faced her and pressed her lips together, though amused. "Aishat." She called her name and laughed out. "You still love this guy!" She kept laughing and hit Aishat.

"Abeg jurh." Aishat grinned and pushed her away.

"Tell the truth so thag we can know what to be done.."

"What? Have I ever told you I don't like him?"

"Neither have you ever told me you are jealous." Tomi laughed at her.

"Anyhow."


******

Aishat had a cold shower and retired to her bed that evening. She hadn't eaten dinner but wasn't hungry. She had collected one of the novels Tomi was reading so that she could read some pages before she finally slept.

She read the first six pages of the book and was surprised the storyline was like what was going on between her and Hakeem. It was about a lady who came for employment oppurtunity in the company of the guy she had broken up with. She kept on smiling because of the attitude of the guy to that of the lady in the story, it looked like that of herself and Hakeem.

As she got to the twenty-fifth page, she slept off.


********


Hakeem got home after some minutes he ended the call between him and Uthman. He went into the room and changed into a short knicker and white shirt. He had been thinking on what to prepare for his friends until he remembered he could prepare them rice and stew.

He walked to the kitchen and checked the freezer for the grounded pepper and brought it for it to defrost. He opened the cooler where the rice was and took three cups. He dropped it on the cabinet and put some water on fire.

He transferred the pepper into the microwave so that it would defrost faster and walked to the living room to switch on the television set. He sat and watched the movie that was being shown for some minutes before he walmed back to the kitchen. He rinsed another pot and placed it on fire after he had rinsed the rice. He poured the palm oil on the empty pot and rushed back to the living room. He could hear the dialogues from the kitchen and knew it had gotten to the place he'd like to watch.

He had watched the movie severally but still liked it because it was a comedy movie. As he got to the living room, he started laughing at the scene and forgot the pot with palm oil on fire until the smoke from it got to the living room. He covered his nose and rushed to the kitchen. The kitchen had already been overwhelmed with smoke and he was getting short of breath. If he left the pot on fire later than that, there would be a fire outbreak.

He removed his hand from his nose and had no choice than to start inhaling the smoke. He looked for the hand glove and towels he could use to csrry the pot away from the cooker after he had switched it off but couldn't find any. It was from the spot he started coughing continuously.

PrinceAdepoju: We are not helping him if we keep quiet.

Be it regular updater or good writer, there's a difference in regular updates and just-updates.

@Akinpelumi. Okay, why do you think Audrey is gaining ground as a regular updater than T.Dan.
The last time I checked, T.Dan had started posting his stories before her. So, where did all those "her-voters come from?

You can imagine when SammyHoe was new on Nairaland too. The EBIAG story brought him many followers. . .i think it's Audrey's time now.

I have to second thepatriot's post.".

I've tried very hard to keep this cos I don't want to sound harsh or rude. But, thank you for voicing out my mind sir.

It seems we are taking this voting thing too far. This is a faceless forum and there's nothing any writer can do if a reader doesn't vote him or her.
The voting should not be by force, it should be voluntary. I've seen some readers ask for the link to the voting thread cos they wanted to vote for Writer.

That's how it should be!

On the other hand, I've developed interest in some writers here on Nairaland. Thier write-ups are almost flawless.
I don't think AudreyTimms begged her readers before they start voting for her.... and she won in less than a month(which amazes me till tomorrow!)

I will support you, sir, in advising TemitopeDaniel to work on himself in terms of grammar and composition which you stated.

I'm really sorry to confess this that the story is getting boring to me. It maybe because of the interesting ones I've come accross.
But this will not stop me from following T.Dan.

It should be a challenge for T.Dan and others to buckle up and improve. I'm not a better writer though.

@all readers and followers, there are so many ways to encourage T.Dan other than the voting thing. If he wins, good; if he doesn't, good.

We can help him by humbly criticizing his works and confess our mind, not pretend. This will go a long way in developing him.

We should quit the pretense and confess our minds, please.

I pray you will find a way to forgive me for this, boss.

Seconded". T-Dan really has to work on his grammar. He still has a long way to go in improving his writing skills but he is trying. He is good but he has to work on his vocabs. I know that writing a story is not an easy task but u really have to improve

#Following#

Nancydearie: Seconded". T-Dan really has to work on his grammar. He still has a long way to go in improving his writing skills but he is trying. He is good but he has to work on his vocabs. I know that writing a story is not an easy task but u really have to improve

abeg make we hear word joooor...u guys should just keep mute and allow this guy to finish his story before you start criticising him. More grease to ur elbow Tdan

TemitopeDaniel: Lol at thepatriot.... love u guys... I can't blame Akin too for a reason best known to us.... He knows me well and knows what's going on with me.

Really love u guys, as in... Love u bosses!!!

My next piece will b d beginning of my change, I assure u.

Good afternoon bro.

How're u doing?

Being long I read any story on Nairaland.. Will try and update myself..


It pains me that u don't take my advice into consideration.
Now, u want to start another story. I hope this will be diff

You can go on a break, use the break to developed yourself, read novels, learn more the art of writing. Everything is not about writing stories, it about writing quality stories, that's what will distinguish u from others. Learn some terminologies in story writing, things that will make your work diff.

Employ the use of the figurative expressions more, sarcasm and d likes. Empower yourself

Think about the storyline and plot very well. Think of the twists and turns. Build your story from there.

Have a draft. That's a basic. Don't type your updates in raw form again. Mistakes are bound to be much. Have it in drafts. Then u can edit it to your taste and upload it on NL.

Please, harken to this advice. God bless.

Your true fan, logodwhiz

chii8: To me,theres nothing wrong with this story,every writer has his own style,TeeD,dont dwell much on critics

If u don't have constructive critics, u won't improve as a writer.

As a business man/woman, if u don't have competition, u won't improve.

See, what's happening in Nigeria's politics.
If APC isn't existing, PDP will keep doing things in a way suitable for only them, not considering others. But but when APC came around and they started pointing out this flaws, they changed a little trying to be better .

My point is, critics are meant to make u stronger and better. Learn from what they are pointing out. And correct it

That's all.

I never agreed less,i just pointed out something else entirely,not to worry because my opinion doesnt really matter.

Nice1 boss following

Nancydearie: Seconded". T-Dan really has to work on his grammar. He still has a long way to go in improving his writing skills but he is trying. He is good but he has to work on his vocabs. I know that writing a story is not an easy task but u really have to improve

Y ar u just doing d correction wen u could av done it earlier?U allowed a novice do d leading y u follow.Besides I tot u were so close to him on dis forum,dont kw y u ar just correcting him wen u could av called his attention earlier.

@T.Dan, I think you should take note of these:
1. your characters. They plenty somehow that when you get to a point, it will look confusing that you have to crack your brain before you know who is who.

You can imagine you telling us everything about Uthman, Hastrup, Hakeem, Tomisin, Tofunmi, Derin, Azeezat, Tesleem, Hassan etc.

I will say stories should centre on one or two persons(My crony centres on all of your characters...it's just like Hakeem is the hero).
Then, you can give us little details about their family, friends etc.

It is not compulsory you centre on all of your characters.

2. How you decribe your characters. I think it is not every character that we readers need to know.
Like Hakeem's secretary you stated. To me, you've gone too far in describing her(that her sister is a pastor, she goes to convention and all that).
If I was a moderator, I would have banned you for derailing

Do not forget to heed DWhiz's advice of getting a break to develop yourself....by reading articles and novels.

I learnt the above from unfulfilled promises.

I bet you will improve, boss!!
I remain your humble follower.

Tipiflexy: Y ar u just doing d correction wen u could av done it earlier?U allowed a novice do d leading y u follow.Besides I tot u were so close to him on dis forum,dont kw y u ar just correcting him wen u could av called his attention earlier.

Hmmm.
thepatriot prophesied this.

but, that word is kinda harsh sir.
You're not wrong though.


###just passing.

Please u guys criticising r going over and over again and I don't even see it as constructive criticism anymore.

Y u comparing his stories with dat of Audrey? Dats an insult,after ur insults u end it with "ur humble follower" "we want you to improve" and d likes but from my own point of view Dats not d only thing you are doing,u r also discouraging him,u r hurting his ego den pretending u r helping him.

Let's see it this way,a student who loves mathematics and don't know it but his teacher is bent on improving him,she calls him to d board each time to solve a problem, wen he fails she criticises him,d teacher continues that every time . Later on the student prefers to b punished Dan entering the maths class.

For about two pages of ds story now,u all av bin discussing ds issue alone in an abusive manner,give him a break Joe. Later come back and criticise

I know av being spewing rubbish since but pls let's give him a break


#runs out without looking back#

Candis009: Please u guys criticising r going over and over again and I don't even see it as constructive criticism anymore.

Y u comparing his stories with dat of Audrey? Dats an insult,after ur insults u end it with "ur humble follower" "we want you to improve" and d likes but from my own point of view Dats not d only thing you are doing,u r also discouraging him,u r hurting his ego den pretending u r helping him.

Let's see it this way,a student who loves mathematics and don't know it but his teacher is bent on improving him,she calls him to d board each time to solve a problem, wen he fails she criticises him,d teacher continues that every time . Later on the student prefers to b punished Dan entering the maths class.

For about two pages of ds story now,u all av bin discussing ds issue alone in an abusive manner,give him a break Joe. Later come back and criticise

I know av being spewing rubbish since but pls let's give him a break


#runs out without looking back#

If u had looked back u wud hv seen me chasing after u with.........























Vanilla icecream. Lol

Essyydiamond:
If u had looked back u wud hv seen me chasing after u with.........




Vanilla icecream. Lol

Hahahahahahahaha ...c as she talk finish afraid catch am she run ...e b lyk say she been no wan turn salt bt nw ni chai c wetin don pas am

Essyydiamond:
If u had looked back u wud hv seen me chasing after u with.........























Vanilla icecream. Lol

I bin fear,I think sey Na koboko

T.dan gud job ride on bro *thumbs up*

PleeeeeeeeeEeeeeeeaaaaaaassssssssssssssseeeeeeEe update more u've got me captivated
More grease to ur elbow

PrinceAdepoju: @T.Dan, I think you should take note of these:
1. your characters. They plenty somehow that when you get to a point, it will look confusing that you have to crack your brain before you know who is who.

You can imagine you telling us everything about Uthman, Hastrup, Hakeem, Tomisin, Tofunmi, Derin, Azeezat, Tesleem, Hassan etc.

I will say stories should centre on one or two persons(My crony centres on all of your characters...it's just like Hakeem is the hero).
Then, you can give us little details about their family, friends etc.

It is not compulsory you centre on all of your characters.

2. How you decribe your characters. I think it is not every character that we readers need to know.
Like Hakeem's secretary you stated. To me, you've gone too far in describing her(that her sister is a pastor, she goes to convention and all that).
If I was a moderator, I would have banned you for derailing

Do not forget to heed DWhiz's advice of getting a break to develop yourself....by reading articles and novels.

I learnt the above from unfulfilled promises.

I bet you will improve, boss!!
I remain your humble follower.

my dear, you need to read Chimamanda Adichie's Purple Hibscuis,there you will see characters flying here and there

Wooooooooow... See rants here and there... The only ish I have about all these criticisms is the manner of approach, so poor and spirit-killing...
T-Dan, I can't spite you in public as some folks do to take credit for your change, therefore I''ll chat you up on whatzapp...

All The Best Boss...

2 me, wetin dey worry Aishat still dey her body small. Hakeem no no say asthmatic patients no dey fry fry?

Since enough pple have seen faults, I'm going 2c strengths. I kinda luv ur narrative style of writing. it helps me picture a scene vividly. I also love hw u mention places like streets and areas. Lastly, I luv ur research work. I was shocked to discover dt u r actually a christian yet u write lyk a true muslim. Dt one dey plait my hair daada.

I'll say more as we continue. Kip doin wat u luv doing.

#teamHakeem&Aishat

Guys, I hope I'm nt trespassing since dis isn't my story. I didn't want to comment on dis criticism issue bt wen I saw dt my name ws mentioned a number of tyms, I grew alarmed.

While I get d fact dt u guys r trying 2 help him, comparing him with me really made me uncomfortable. Accepting criticsm in good faith is gud bt being compared with sum1 else can cut lyk a knife. I hated d tyms my parents compared me with oda kids in trying 2 get me 2 behave better (no b say I stubborn o!). I can't imagine hw I wud feel if sum1 compared my work nw with dt of Chimamanda. I go cry lyk baby.

Just saying sha. So we don't create unnecessary beef. Thanks

ToriEmManson: Hahahahahahahaha ...c as she talk finish afraid catch am she run ...e b lyk say she been no wan turn salt bt nw ni chai c wetin don pas am

ToriEM this babe suppose pay vision fee make u 4 see good good things 4 am. See icecream wey I bring wan give am make she take kul im head, d next thing wey I see be say d babe tear race.