Dear Nairalanders,

Please read my short love story and advice me, I need help and I need it fast beofre I act stupidly.

Thus goes my story:


I met her at my Uncle's place precisely on March, 19, 2000. She was just eighteen then and had just left secondary school.

We became very good friends which eventually metamorphosed into a very strong relationship, we became best friends and almost inseparable.

We were almost everywhere together and became the envy of many. In the course of our 11 yrs relationship i had very several close shave to cheat on her but for her sake had always overcome except once when I had my guard really down, I must also admit that I had a couple of deep kisses and smoochings with one or two ladies throughout our period together but had always disciplined and restrained myself because of the love and respect I have for her, even friends and colleagues made jest of me and called me names when I turned down strong advances from potential relationships with "better benefits" for her sake.

I have always trusted her until she got into the university and started misbehaving and made me suspicious of some her moves. When she comes on holidays, she passwords her phone and even bars her incoming calls whenever we were together. She also fools me with romantic and sweet messages on my Facebook wall which I latter found out was customised only to my view.

In 2009, i got to know she was cheating on me with two different guys while in school, when I confronted her on this accusations she owned up and even admitted she had sex with them on different occasions. It wasn't easy for me but because of my love for her I had to let go and continued loving her, I even had to propose to her and engaged her with a ring to let her know I'm serious with her.

Well, all my effort didn't make the intended impact as she became very obsessed with one of the guys that she even had to regularly travel from Abia state (ABSU) to PH to visit the guy, I did all I can to stop her but she just couldn't stop and often owns up each time I present strong proofs. I just allowed her to be hoping when she leaves school she's gonna change but was also proved wrong.

She came back to Lagos to do her one year IT in a multinational company. I somehow stumbled on a chat she had with one of her boss which reveal they were intimate, I called her attention to it but she denied it and even had to swear with a bible that she should go mad if she had anything to do with her boss but I refused to buy to her lies because the tone of the chat was very direct, revealing and really strong so I told her I'm done but two weeks later she came begging and confesed she had some intimacy with her boss, who also called me to beg on her behalf. It was very very a painful experience but I managed to get over it, forgave her and the relationship continued.

In December 2011 before she left for her NYSC in Asaba, I went to her parents to formally do an introduction, while I await the almighty traditional list for the tradional wedding. I did all this to prove to her of my seriousness to marry her and also make her feel secured.

Everything was on course until she started acting strange, she ignore my calls and even refuse visitng Lagos even during public holidays. Things went from bad to worse when she informed me after her pass out from NYSC in February, 2012 that she has gotten a job and wouldn't come back to Lagos except she gets one in Lagos.

I was devastated and even her parents were disappointed in her when she refused to come back to Lagos. On investigation in Asaba, my fear was confirmed.

Behold, she was not working but was rather staying with a guy, immediately she knew the lid has been blown off she came back to Lagos, did evrything to deny her acts but the proofs were to obvious even to a blind man.

It was indeed a horrible period for me, she didn't even feel that remorsed, though she did pleaded for forgiveness but in arrogance.

I concluded it was over and decided to finally walk away from the relationship. The pain and agony I went through the days, weeks and months that followed was quite unbearable to the extent I thought I wouldn't survive but for God's Grace I didn't mourn her longer as I thought but came out stronger earlier than I had expected.

She came begging and doing all manner of things including sending me money to buy back my love but none of all that worked.

All through May, 2012 to June 2014, I never bothered myself with anything relationship. It was actually difficult for me to love again or try another relationship as I have been psychologically affected. I turned to the Holy Spirit to help heal me from the heartbreak and He did it for me. He was the only one I could talk to as there was no other person to share my pain with, I was really on my own (OMO).

In July, I thought I had fully recovered from the pain, my broken heart got gradually mended and I felt its time to love again.

Guess what?

I started feeling for her again, my love for her now is so strong that I had to re-establish contact with her. I don't know why I can't just stop loving her irrespective of all the evil deeds she has done to me and I also want to consider that I have taken off her youthful stage, because then suitors where coming for her left, right and center but she stucked to me even when the meal barrel was dry.

As I speak to you now, I'm about picking up my relationship with her from where we stopped in 2012 but I'm afraid to make the move, I don't know if I can trust her again, if her past will show up again in future to cause another heartache or if she has truly changed as she claimed.

I want to love another, I'm a nice guy and any right thinking lady will do everything to keep a guy like me. I know she dosent deserve me but i don't know why I'm still deeply rooting for her even after all these drama.

Dear Nairalanders, please I need your advice, I hope I have not gone mad or being remote controlled. Please, help me, what should I do?

Please note that I will appreciate all your sincere advice and comments and draw strength from it to move on with life.

Thanks!

Sorry,
I don't think you need any help
It is your call
She has being playing u for 11 years
She will keep playing u
She is coming to close now because she is getting aged
she need a husband

FTC!!!


Bck to topic...na whn u get hrt attck u go decide to let her go abi? Luv is swt bt I've also heard luv alone can't mak a marriage work!! Use more of ur brain

Sir, what kind of advice do u want? If u were to advise someone on this issue, what would you tell the person?

The signs are quite glaring and very obvious. Don't think with your heart or your third leg...think with your HEAD. It is better you call it bluff and move on now that God has been so merciful to reveal her true colour to you.

However, if you decide to reignite your "professed" love for her.....don't come back here and disturb us for advise tomorrow and let me not see you on the suicide list.

We have enough problem in this country already...don't add more to your own.

Okay since you want an honest advice from a sister here is my advice.

If she cheat you on several occassion with different kind of guys , then she does not deserve you.
The love was one sided for good 11years.

Would you like to be in office or when you travel out for two weeks and you comeback to here news of how your wife had turn your house to Hotel sound to you?


If you can survive for two years without her , then you can do without her for life.

My dear I think once a cheater is always a cheater and its always bad especially if its from the lady because it will be pretty difficult for her to stop. Only if you don't mind her cheating on you but remember there are deadly diseases out there and love is not blind. Pls be wise

story for the gods

Please walk away from her even if she comes begging.

Sorry bro

Na wetin for 11 years.
i die to seat in one room for 11 years.
Is yr call nd also yr choice.

Better Get ready to take a gun shot than taking her back, because either way, you are digging your grave. Don't say I didn't warn you, if you were my brother - elder or younger, I will slap the living day lights out of you if you ever go back.

If its so hard for you to decide, this is what you will do. Force yourself to vomit, then try to lick it back all up from the floor, if you succeed, then go back to her, if not, then forget it.

The FÜCKING decision is yours.
You should FÜCKING let your head rule & not your heart in this FÜCKING situation. She's been FÜCKING cheating on you for how many FÜCKING years now?

So she's FÜCKING ready to settle down now. The guys she's been cheating on you with are not FÜCKING "husband material" FÜCK!!

Again I'll FÜCKING write here; listen to your head & not your heart #my take

So u mean u did not get urself a better girl for 2 years Bro, age no dey ur side again oh! Even the girl sef don old



Marry her! she go don learn a lot @32.

You mean you started dating even before you were born?
Coz I remember you saying u'll turn 11 by December.
*runs outta thread before slap give me makeover *

she isn't Really into u..her mind is far away from you wen it comes to marriage.. aldo she might later regret it..there are several hundreds of ladies praying for someone to tie d knot with dem.. love is blind, but let ur brain guide u..God gave us d brain, so that we can give him rest..

She's now 32 abi? Owk
=slacked punni
=slippers-like bobbi
=lips already kissed by different guys, both those wey dey brush nd those wey no remember where their tooth brush dey again
=her beauty wearing away
=closely getting to menopause
Chai! Chai! Chai! I dey cry for yu bross.
I dont think what yu feel for her is love, yu only falling back to her after 2yrs nd all what she have done to yu in the past because i believe yu have very limited choice. What i mean is that yu were away from her for good two years and yu never thaught of building up a good relationship with any nice lady around yu stil in her 20s? Haba mana abiki nan, i think yu have a problem and yur suppose girl friend knws about this, she knw say even tho she feature for porn movie give yu make yu watch last last yu go stil come bake come beg her to marry yu.
Marriage no b beans o, marriage na cell, cage, once yu enter na OYO tins.
BROSS ABEG NO MARRY HER, I SWEAR YU GO REGRET AM...
"once a punni giver is always a punni giver"
"monkey sit dwn dey chop palm karnel, na because e neva see Banana"

kreezzy: My dear I think once a cheater is always a cheater and its always bad especially if its from the lady because it will be pretty difficult for her to stop. Only if you don't mind her cheating on you but remember there are deadly diseases out there and love is not blind. Pls be wise

Word. Even in 2014, OP does not know that if it's just love, no relationship/marriage will work. Sadly he has remained stagnated for 2 years.

You need deliverance

You need to apply wisdom here. Why go back to someone who truly does not value you?

You have loved her before and that did not stop her from cheating. Loving her now is not also a guarantee.

From your statements, it is obvious she does not value sticking to one partner as she has on numerous occasions slept with different men.

Oga be wise! Consider your children and your life. The holy spirit will advise you to marry a virtuous wife and not a runs girl.

OP you need to start thinking straight, except u don't mind sharing your wife with other men, don't marry her.

Calabash @ work

Op u really need deliverance... The kind done with chains and canes. #nooffence