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Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! - Family - Nairaland

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Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by MIZTHANG: 1:24pm On Oct 23, 2008
I GOT MARRIED 24YRS AGO IN NIGERIA, HUSBAND AND I ARE NOW UK CITIZENS. HUBBY HAS JUST SUED ME FOR A DIVORCE. HE CONSTANTLY CHEATED ON ME AND HAD NO FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR 4 CHILDREN THROUGHOUT OUR MARRIAGE.
CAN WE GET A DIVORCE IN UK OR IS IT BETTER IN NIGERIA AS HE IS NOW GOING AFTER MY PROPERTY WHERE I LIVE WITH OUR KIDS AS WELL AS OUR JOINTLY BOUGHT PROPERTY WHICH I HAVE BEEN PAYING FOR. HELP!!!
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Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by jaybee3(m): 1:29pm On Oct 23, 2008
why not try citizens advice bureau
methinks you are better off settling the divorce here in the UK simply because;
the law protects the female
you are guaranteed a fair judgement
you reside here and most if not all assets r right here in the UK

U go girl we support you. Be strong, you don't need his a£$ as u have been a very strong woman all along.
Gudluck

9 Likes

Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by MrCrackles(m): 1:32pm On Oct 23, 2008
Trust me JAYBEE, Citizen's advice Bureau would do fuc.k all!!!

You need a proper divorce lawyer poster!!!
Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by jaybee3(m): 1:34pm On Oct 23, 2008
they will offer advice not represent her.
of course what she need is a divorce lawyer that will be able to give her adequate advice as well as her pointing her towards the right path

3 Likes

Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by MrCrackles(m): 1:56pm On Oct 23, 2008
jay bee:

they will offer advice not represent her.
offcourse what she need is a divorce lawyer but they will be able to give her adequate advice and point her towards the right path

True
Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by Gamine(f): 2:01pm On Oct 23, 2008
Nigeria Married you.

Nigeria Should Divorce you.

But you may lose everything

Get a good lawyer.


MEN!!!
angry angry angry angry cry
Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by KarmaMod(f): 2:05pm On Oct 23, 2008
Better off in the UK. Least you wont be taken by a biased court system.

2 Likes

Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by Angolobabe(f): 3:00pm On Oct 23, 2008
thats sad,please get ur divorce done in the Uk,as they will protect u and ur kids get a family lawyer that deals with divorce about the properties they will either divide it 50/50  same with the costudy of ur kids,unless u fight for full costudy of the kids,which will also help u to keep the house if ur lucky,insist that u want ur kids to stay in the same enviroment,school and keep the same friends etc as moving to another home will affect ur kids plus before anything sort out child support for ur kids first.

if u think it could be difficult since u got married in Nigeria,get a good lawyer in Nigeria to help u with this and the division of the properties should be done same way in the uk.i think uk lawyer u be the best on this.was ur Nigerian marriage certificate registered in the UK?
Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by Nobody: 3:54pm On Oct 23, 2008
@ topic

"It's sad, so sad, it's a sad sad situation and it's getting more and more absurd."

Why did you have to wait all this while to know youe husband is a jerk? Oh never mind. All I have to say is: be grateful you are in the UK and not in that law-miss-road country called Nigeria. I'd also like you to observe that if for real what you have said is true and you eventually get your kids to nail their dad's ass, you won't have any problem.

Here in the west, kids are much more important than a couple who just can't stop playing fools in love.

1 Like

Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by omoge(f): 4:36pm On Oct 23, 2008
whatever you do don't follow him to nig to go divorce okay. i heard a story of a guy who told his wife i want divorce let go home to do it. she went home with him. . . terrible.

do the divorce their in UK and make sure you stay tough and get a good lawyer.

counter sue him too if you can or want

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by KarmaMod(f): 4:38pm On Oct 23, 2008
omoge:

whatever you do don't follow him to nig to go divorce okay. i heard a story of a guy who told his wife i want divorce let go home to do it. she went home with him. . . terrible.

what happened?
Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by BabyJinx: 4:42pm On Oct 23, 2008
Yes please, Omoge tell us what happened, even though I can sort of guess.

We won't hear alarm on that one from the hugging men oh.

Gawd!
Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by Hugger: 5:13pm On Oct 23, 2008
Baby Jinx:

Yes please, Omoge tell us what happened, even though I can sort of guess.

We won't hear alarm on that one from the hugging men oh.

Gawd!

get a life. I did not study law to answer poster's question. Besides, I can not make categorical statements based on the fact that one woman says something against another on the internet. I bet the man will also have something to say to his friends about the situation and they may not see it the way it's seen here.

When will you start using your brain the proper way because I know you have a brain
Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by PepERSprAY: 11:48pm On Oct 23, 2008
MIZ THANG:

I GOT MARRIED 24YRS AGO IN NIGERIA, HUSBAND AND I ARE NOW UK CITIZENS. HUBBY HAS JUST SUED ME FOR A DIVORCE. HE CONSTANTLY CHEATED ON ME AND HAD NO FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR 4 CHILDREN THROUGHOUT OUR MARRIAGE.
CAN WE GET A DIVORCE IN UK OR IS IT BETTER IN NIGERIA AS HE IS NOW GOING AFTER MY PROPERTY WHERE I LIVE WITH OUR KIDS AS WELL AS OUR JOINTLY BOUGHT PROPERTY WHICH I HAVE BEEN PAYING FOR. HELP!!!


I find that hard to believe since you were married for about 24 years. You need to realize that because you are reporting your case here doesn't mean you were the innocent party. i for once do not believe this rooster and bull story because if you have lived in UK as long as you claim, you should know that you will be better off with the UK court system in terms of joint property and you should also know that the house does not belong to you alone even if you paid the mortgage alone which I seriously doubt. Stop screaming online abeg and take care of your business. You chose him and probably was the party cheating on him. If you want a candid advise, come out clean with a more believable story and not this bull about constantly cheating on you for 24 years while leaving the kids alone for you to take care of. Judges do not listen to women screaming for mercy based on their sex anymore since we are equal at least in America. If your story has any figment of truth, then you must be a slowpoke and a bad one for that matter.

12 Likes

Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by JJYOU: 12:00am On Oct 24, 2008
MIZ THANG:

I GOT MARRIED 24YRS AGO IN NIGERIA, HUSBAND AND I ARE NOW UK CITIZENS. HUBBY HAS JUST SUED ME FOR A DIVORCE. HE CONSTANTLY CHEATED ON ME AND HAD NO FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR 4 CHILDREN THROUGHOUT OUR MARRIAGE.
CAN WE GET A DIVORCE IN UK OR IS IT BETTER IN NIGERIA AS HE IS NOW GOING AFTER MY PROPERTY WHERE I LIVE WITH OUR KIDS AS WELL AS OUR JOINTLY BOUGHT PROPERTY WHICH I HAVE BEEN PAYING FOR. HELP!!!
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only 2 post with the other being
I Need Help! I Am Dying In Silence & Frustration on: Today at 02:02:19 PM
It's so sad to hear this story BUT I believe that ideally, marriage is for life.

What you need to do is to pray first, then talk to your wife about it (TACTFULLY) so that you can get help TOGETHER. I think that COUNSELLING would be the best option where you can both explore some things e.g.
- why you were originally attracted to her,
- what she does now that repulses you
- learn the little ways of spicing things up etc.

Marriage is a long term thing. You seem to love her but you have to be determined to do WHATEVER it takes, for as long as it takes, to make this work for Her sake as well as Yours.

I wish ALL the BEST!!

nawa for this seun land. these makeup artiste or is it stories now?

1 Like

Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by bluehorizo(m): 1:24am On Oct 24, 2008
I always feel so sad when i hear/read about couples getting divorced especially those who have been in the union a long time. 24 yrs shocked shocked shocked


@Poster

I wish you well in whatever decision you take.

1 Like

Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by Nobody: 4:14am On Oct 24, 2008
@poster:
I just checked your other post on the ''I'm frustrated. . . " thread where you talked about marriage being a life-long thing and preached an exact opposite of what you're saying here. Were you lying there or are you lying here? You prolly didn't know that with just two posts, it's easy to dig into your previous posts undecided

3 Likes

Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by Hugger: 10:26am On Oct 24, 2008
its good that pepperspray is an objective being
some other people just like to jump into things that they know nothing about which explains a lot of things I'm beginning to see and read here
Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by MIZTHANG: 12:34pm On Oct 24, 2008
[b][/b] [b]For those of you who think that I am lying or I am a hypocrite. It was not me who asked for a divorce from my husband inspite of all I have been through with him. My husband was the one who went to the lawyers. I do admit that it takes two to tango. My parents were married till my father died so I know the importance of being together. I have tried everything with him from marital counselling, to elderly family members mediating between us even our grown up children tried to talk to him about this.

Instead, he has abandoned his own family (father, mother, kids) because of this. I was even insulted by him and his younger new traditional wife (whom he apparently went to naija to marry traditionally) ON MY BIRTHDAY when I tried again to resolve any issues we have.

I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON HIM, HE IS THE FIRST AND ONLY MAN I HAVE EVER BEEN WITH. When we got married, we had no furniture and used to sit on cardboard so it's not as if I married him for money. I have stayed with him for this long because my mother always said that you put all your effort into a marriage. It seems like nothing I do will please him.

As God is my witness, I have tried everything humanly possible and I still dont want a divorce but as he insists on it, I can only resist for so long. I have aged overnight from all this praying and fasting over the years. I have to be wise now so that I don't lose everything. I can't lose my husband and also lose everything else. [/b] [color=Black][/color]

2 Likes

Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by shilling(f): 12:53pm On Oct 24, 2008
Get a good divorce lawyer
Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by Angolobabe(f): 12:55pm On Oct 24, 2008
he even got married traditionally with a younger woman  sad ,my dear its obvious that he really want to divorce,do whatever is best for u and ur kids ,first step is getting a good lawyer and divorcing in UK.

1 Like

Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by fun4me2(f): 1:15pm On Oct 24, 2008
na wa oo
Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by desthan(m): 5:48pm On Nov 22, 2008
READ THIS, IT MIGHT HELP YOU


You can enjoy and be revived daily, she's God's perfect match for you, maybe a change of attitude will help.
read on !

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said,

'I've got something to tell you'.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what
I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,

'Why?'

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks
and shouted at me,

'You are not a man!'

That night, we didn' t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to a lovely girl
called Dew. I did'nt love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that
she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced
at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of
her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time,
resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved
Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I
had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea
of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and
clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at
the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep
very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke
up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I
turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life
as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time
and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day. She
requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our
bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was
going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted
her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face
the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both
appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his
arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting
room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She
closed her eyes and said softly;

'Don't tell our son about the divorce'.

I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went
to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn' t
looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was not
young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had
done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to
me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of
intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became
easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout
made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses
but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the
reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the
moment and said,

'Dad, it's time to carry mum out.' To him, seeing his father
carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife
gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face
away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then
held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to
the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her
body tightly, it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone
to school. I held her tightly and said, I had'nt noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind, I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her,

'Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.'

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead.

'Do you have a fever?'

She said. I moved her hand off my head.

'Sorry, Dew', I said, 'I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not
because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realise that since I
carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until
death do us apart.'

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the
floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The
salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote,

'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.'

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, property , the money in the bank, blah, blah, blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

1 Like

Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by Nobody: 2:04pm On May 05, 2013
jay bee: why not try citizens advice bureau
methinks you are better off settling the divorce here in the UK simply because;
the law protects the female
you are guaranteed a fair judgement
you reside here and most if not all assets r right here in the UK

U go girl we support you. Be strong, you don't need his a£$ as u have been a very strong woman all along.
Gudluck
op follow this advice.this advice.this is the most sound advice so far but if i may ask why did you have to wait all this while,one or maximum of 3 years should have been enough before you could have put up with the looser.

1 Like

Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by Nobody: 2:09pm On May 05, 2013
churchofsatan: My Name is harry louis ..I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster when i contact this man called dragbadilaguspelltemple@gmail.com Execute some business..He is really powerful..My wife divorce me with no reason for almost 4 years and i tried all i could to have her back cos i really love her so much but all my effort did not work out.. we met at our early age at the college and we both have feelings for each other and we got married happily for 5 years with no kid and she woke up one morning and she told me she’s going on a divorce..i thought it was a joke and when she came back from work she tender to me a divorce letter and she packed all her loads from my house..i ran mad and i tried all i could to have her back but all did not work out..i was lonely for almost 4 years…So when i told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for her full name and her picture..i gave him that..At first i was skeptical but i gave it a try cos have tried so many spell casters and there is no solution…so when he finished with the readings,he got back to me that she’s with a man and that man is the reason why she left me…The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that will surely bring her back.but i never believe all this…he told me i will see a positive result within 3 days..3 days later,she called me herself and came to me apologizing and she told me she will come back to me..I cant believe this,it was like a dream cos i never believe this will work out after trying many spell casters and there is no solution..The spell caster is so powerful and after that he helped me with a pregnancy spell and my wife got pregnant a month later..we are now happy been together again and with lovely kid..This spell caster has really changed my life and i will forever thankful to him..he has helped many friends too with similar problem too and they are happy and thankful to him..This man is indeed the most powerful spell caster have ever experienced in life..Am Posting this to the Forum in case there is anyone who has similar problem and still looking for a way out..you can reach him here:dragbadilaguspelltemple@gmail.com... CONTACT THIS GREAT AND POWERFUL SPELL CASTER CALLED Dr Agbadi ... HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS : dragbadilaguspelltemple@gmail.com... CONTACT HIM NOW AND BE FAST ABOUT IT SO HE CAN ALSO ATTEND TO YOU BECAUSE THE EARLIER YOU CONTACT HIM NOW THE BETTER FOR YOU TO GET QUICK SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS...
nothing wey i no go see for nairaland.so una dey advertise babalawo for nairaland.seun osewa must hear of this cheesy you dey advertise without the ceo of nairaland,seun osewa cheesy
Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by Nobody: 3:05pm On May 05, 2013
kulyie: op follow this advice.this advice.this is the most sound advice so far but if i may ask why did you have to wait all this while,one or maximum of 3 years should have been enough before you could have put up with the looser.

You do realise you're responding to a thread that was posted 4 years and 5 months ago? The OP has most likely started a new life by now.
Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by minute(f): 3:11pm On May 05, 2013
Suggest you get yourself a decent lawyer or advice from the Citizens Advice Bereau..
Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by Gagagurl: 3:06pm On Oct 14, 2013
i am giving this testimony because I'm happy I got my ex boyfriend back with the help of a love spell caster
My name is George Sherry from U.S.A., New York. I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spellcaster . That was in February this year on a business summit. I met a man named Dr. Orinoko He is powerful spellcaster and he could help launch some spells to bring back or reunite your ex or divorced spouse, The email address of this great man is orinokosolutiontemple1@gmail.com He can help you too.
Great Dr. Orinoko i thank you very much thank you a million times.

Contact this Great and wonderful man on by email: orinokosolutiontemple1@gmail.com
Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by Kanwulia: 6:48pm On Oct 14, 2013
In cases like this, especially after 24 years of BLISSLESS marriage, I would let him have EVERYTHING!!!!
I'd rather start over! kiss

He has given me the best of him, 4 CHILDREN!!!
The time and energy spent fighting in court ain't worth the stress!
He may win materially, but you will ALWAYS WIN SPIRITUALLY!!!

Let it go! The best is yet to come!!!! kiss

1 Like

Re: Husband Wants Divorce After 24yrs. What Are My Rights As The Woman? Help! by Nobody: 8:41pm On Oct 14, 2013
Kanwulia: In cases like this, especially after 24 years of BLISSLESS marriage, I would let him have EVERYTHING!!!!
I'd rather start over! kiss

He has given me the best of him, 4 CHILDREN!!!
The time and energy spent fighting in court ain't worth the stress!
He may win materially, but you will ALWAYS WIN SPIRITUALLY!!!

Let it go! The best is yet to come!!!! kiss
abi o.how many months or years will the money finish on harlots.


Mshewww

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