Okay. A friend of mine is in a dilemma and I want to ask the good people of Nairaland to help her out.

In her words...

Before I started dating my boyfriend (Kene), I was already friends with his bestfriend (James).

Now we are dating and Kene feels insecure because of my relationship with the James.

The bestfriend's girlfriend is also a little threatened.

But James I are also business partners and spend some time together doing strictly business.

All attempts to explain the whole thing to Kene is failing as he doesn't see much reason to the explanation.

I love my boyfriend and I don't wanna lose him. What should I do?

.

Richiy: Okay. A friend of mine is in a dilemma and I want to ask the good people of Nairaland to help her out.

In her words...

Before I started dating my boyfriend (Kene), I was already friends with his bestfriend (James).

Now we are dating and Kene feels insecure because of my relationship with the James.

The bestfriend's girlfriend is also a little threatened.

But James I are also business partners and spend some time together doing strictly business.

All attempts to explain the whole thing to Kene is failing as he doesn't see much reason to the explanation.

I love my boyfriend and I don't wanna lose him. What should I do?

....are u light skin?

you boyfriend is insecure.....and sadly, there is no point going through life walking on eggshell to satisfy your partner's insecurities.... give him an ultimatum and DROP HIM LIKE HE WAS HOT of he doesnt change his ways.

Very dicey situation.

Try to explain to him,and make him see reasons.

MrCork:


....are u light skin?

What does that have to do with anything?

MRbrownJAY: you boyfriend is insecure.....and sadly, there is no point going through life walking on eggshell to satisfy your partner's insecurities.... give him an ultimatum and DROP HIM LIKE HE WAS HOT of he doesnt change his ways.

So there is no place for fighting for a relationship?

Richiy:

So there is no place for fighting for a relationship?

you CANNOT fight insecurity...... you just CANT. he has to work out his issues by himself and grow out of them. this man should TRUST his lady to act right and not ENFORCE her to live a miserable life just to accommodate his low self essteem.

MRbrownJAY:

you CANNOT fight insecurity...... you just CANT. he has to work out his issues by himself and grow out of them. this man should TRUST his lady to act right and not ENFORCE her to live a miserable life just to accommodate his low self essteem.

Your assertion on not fighting insecurity is a quite new and insightful. hmmm.

^^^ the problem is not HER, its him so why even think of changing?

The boyfriend doesn't trust his best friend(I think I understand).

How old is the relationship?

Incessant ranting of an insecure dude!

ALL IS WELL

For every reaction there must have been an equal action.. Your friend should check her actions. The guy is not insecure. He is just protecting his territory. He may know what the gf is unaware of. Very open communication, constantly building trust, and putting herself in his shoes and acting right is the only solution. How would she feel if the guy also has a girl he constantly has things to do with and the only explanation he gives is that they are just "doing some biz together" ? A biz you don't seem to see or even understand. How would you feel?

Also her explanations to him MAY not be comprehensive enough or don't reflect the realities on ground. She also needs to act sensible and shun unnecessary familiarities with the friend.. Sort the above out and you can now say you have tried. If he is still not changing then i guess you can weigh your options. But at least you know you tried.

Also note. Communication is not just about talking and saying words. Your body language and facial expression consist at least 80 per cent of what effective communication is. She should match her words with visible actions. Good luck.

I believe she loves James more than her BF(Kene) buh if dats not the case she should opt outta dat close relationship she has with James.
She could also show Kene how much she loves him and I think he'll feel better when he realises that.
GoodLuck

MrCork:


....are u light skin?

Your obsession has gotten out of hand.

Richiy:

What does that have to do with anything?

...madam...muss u always act like a Nigerian?...answering question wit a question...are u light skin?

Richiy: Okay. A friend of mine is in a dilemma and I want to ask the good people of Nairaland to help her out.

In her words...

Before I started dating my boyfriend (Kene), I was already friends with his bestfriend (James).

Now we are dating and Kene feels insecure because of my relationship with the James.

The bestfriend's girlfriend is also a little threatened.

But James I are also business partners and spend some time together doing strictly business.

All attempts to explain the whole thing to Kene is failing as he doesn't see much reason to the explanation.

I love my boyfriend and I don't wanna lose him. What should I do?

goodluck

TRUST....dats d problem here
kene doesnt trust james
kene doesnt trust his girlfriend
girlfriend doesnt trust herself either

wenever a girl is in relationship,she should always let other guyz no dat she is involve, it tend to create a gap btw them..geting too close wit other guyz make d boyfriend tink otherwise

btw, always do tins dat makes u happy,life is too short

I wonder what you actually wanted us to write

Bestie james.. Friendzoning tinz on point

At what stage did Kene find out she was friends with James?

Did he not know of their friendship before dating?

Richiy: Okay. A friend of mine is in a dilemma and I want to ask the good people of Nairaland to help her out.

In her words...

Before I started dating my boyfriend (Kene), I was already friends with his bestfriend (James).

Now we are dating and Kene feels insecure because of my relationship with the James.

The bestfriend's girlfriend is also a little threatened.

But James I are also business partners and spend some time together doing strictly business.

All attempts to explain the whole thing to Kene is failing as he doesn't see much reason to the explanation.

I love my boyfriend and I don't wanna lose him. What should I do?

Well I don't think your friend has given Kene enough reason to trust her , even James's girlfriend isn't comfortable with their friendship

Friends with benefit!

Richiy:
Okay. A friend of mine is in a dilemma and I want to ask the good people of Nairaland to help her out.

In her words...

Before I started dating my boyfriend (Kene), I was already friends with his bestfriend (James).

Now we are dating and Kene feels insecure because of my relationship with the James.

The bestfriend's girlfriend is also a little threatened.

But James I are also business partners and spend some time together doing strictly business.

All attempts to explain the whole thing to Kene is failing as he doesn't see much reason to the explanation.

I love my boyfriend and I don't wanna lose him. What should I do?

Its you not your friend.

Sunnypar:
Its you not your friend.

And how is it part of the matter?

dechandel:
Bestie james.. Friendzoning tinz on point

U read the game like an expert