The biggest reason why friends lose contact with each other, or avoid each other, is because they have nothing to gain from the other friend anymore!
It’s strange, but it’s the bitter truth. Friends lose each other because there’s no reason to keep in touch anymore.
Choosing lovers and friends:
All of us have our preferences when it comes to choosing a partner. Can’t the same rule apply to friends too? You stay close to the ones that matter and avoid or even ignore the ones that don’t matter anymore.
In friendship and in a relationship, we need someone who can support us, help us in times of need, and someone who is useful to us. Everything in the world is about mutual back scratching, why not friendships? If you feel like you’d look cooler or become more popular by hanging out with someone, you need to give that someone something else in return to share the same affection towards you. People like spending time with similar minded people, or people we consider our equals with similar lifestyles or common interests. Really now, would you sit with someone and just blink at each other for an hour? No! You would talk about your work, or you’d talk about the problems you have with your respective partners.
Let’s say you’ve climbed the right corporate ladder and become a multimillionaire now. If you’ve cancelled your meeting with a few heads of organizations to hang out over a plate of pepper soup with a best friend you haven’t seen in a year, you think you’d be happy?
It’s awesome to meet your friend. But if you were to sit down and talk, you’d talk about your work and your lifestyle, and your friend may talk about life as a backpack traveller, hustler or life at the lower level of life. It would take both of you less than fifteen minutes to realize that there are better things to do than just sit down, waste each other’s time and talk about something either of you don’t understand. Friendships revolve around interests and social status, and as hard as you may try, it’s easier to stay friends only when you’re both equals or share common interests.
When friendships suffer:
When people start looking at things in a different way or set different priorities in life, friendships start to suffer.
Sometimes, in friendship, it’s all about who’s doing what and who’s doing better. If you’re out shopping with a friend and suddenly you get a call from an uncle and find out that he’s sending you on a trip to New York, London or Cotonou…LoL…of course, you’d be delighted.
But don’t expect your friend to be very happy to see you off or welcome you back. But, let’s be logical here. Deep inside, wouldn’t you be jealous and pissed off too if it was your friend who got the call to travel to New York? It’s the same thing when one friend passes out of University and gets a dream job.
What’s happened here is that one of you has suddenly got better and stepped over the emotional hierarchy between friends.
When the self confidence or morale of one person in a group goes up, especially when all friends have been equals, the others can’t help but dislike the person. When the balance tilts, the friendship tilts towards the sour side too. Friends start finding flaws and bitc*h about each other when the balance tilts against their favour.
You know that you’ve felt jealous, even if it was for just an instant when your best pal got something you’ve always wanted. Call it envy if you want, but really, envy is just a sugary word for a sudden involuntary burst of jealousy.
Jealousy kills friendship:
Friendships can sour or you can lose friendships even over everyday affairs. We get jealous all the time, and I’m not just referring to travelling or marrying a rich guy. Let’s talk about your life. You hang out with a group of friends all the time.
One fine day, another group of friends call you over and ask you out to an act of ‘pepper souping, suyaing and big stouting’...(don’t mind me) You get dressed and look at your friends who’re all too bored to do anything. So you smile at these new friends and agree.
When you get back after having a nice time with your new friends, you sit down with your friends. But they all seem a bit distant towards you. No one’s talking much or laughing much, particularly at your jokes. Your friends weren’t possessive about you. They didn’t have any plans, so you accompanied another group of new friends out. What’s the big deal? The big deal is that it was you who was called out, not one of your other friends. By that small gesture, you’ve shown the others that you’re the coolest one amongst your friends, and the fact that you’re superior has made the others drift away from you. Unknown to them, they’ve marked you as a superior and can’t be with you anymore. This accounts for the reason many ladies feel the pressure to invite their best friend whenever a guy asks her out. Many guys hate it anyway. But can we really blame her? Apart from the senseless ones who feel they can sap into the guy’s money, the decision to bring over a friend is absolutely ‘right’.
Can anyone ever be good friends?
Friends will come and friends will go. It’s a part of life, and as painful or annoying as it may seem, there’s nothing you can do about it but to let go and move on.
On a few rare occasions, you’ll meet a few great friends who genuinely care for you and feel happy for you and your successes. While these kinds of friends are hard to find, it’s easier to build a strong friendship when you meet someone who shares few similarities with you when it comes to your profession or your path towards success. Always remember this, two competitors can end up as rivals, not as friends.
Good fences make good neighbours, all of us know that. If you want to share a good friendship with someone, always build your fences, set a few boundaries and don’t cross them too early. Perfect friendships take years to build and only moments to crumble. The best of friends are those who spend time with each other, stand up for each other and are always ready to voice their opinion instead of feeling jealous or secretly plotting payback. It’s the first step to avoid losing friends and building better relationships.
But then again, is the friendship worth holding onto in the first place? That’s something you have to think about. And even if you aren’t thinking about it, chances are, your friend is subconsciously thinking about it and evaluating you as a long term friend!
So are you really losing a friend or is all the secret jealousy and spite just pulling both of you away? Good friendships need good fences, not ill will. Get that wrong and there’s only one way the friendship can go. River Niger.

No condition is permanent but change!
If a friendship breaks, it was never meant to be!

Nice one op

Haywhymido: Nice one op