As a natural therapist i have attended to several Couple\family with infertility issues and helped solve it with counseling and natural therapy,its not funny at all the sad experience some wives go through in the hand of mother in law\husband family members if she did not conceive\have a baby.The threats\rejection could be frustrating.Wives ,how do you cope ? lets share our experiences,someone might get some relief and solution to a near end Marriage.

nature20: As a natural therapist i have attended to several Couple\family with infertility issues and helped solve it with counseling and natural therapy,its not funny at all the sad experience some wives go through in the hand of mother in law\husband family members if she did not conceive\have a baby.The threats\rejection could be frustrating.Wives ,how do you cope ? lets share our experiences,someone might get some relief and solution to a near end Marriage.

Share your experience.

is

having delay in childbearing is an issue enough not to talk of in-laws compounding the problem.

however, i believe the husband has a great role to play in supporting his wife and protecting her from his family and allowing the wife to stay away fm any family function she is not comfortable with. pray and seek medical advice.

ennyhollar1: is not easy mama, the thing is just be prayerful and make Sure u see ur gynecologists, I'm facing the Same thing, God is our straight

don't worry, this too will pass-i don't mean to sound motivational-the truth is it will. i waited for four years before our first child came. endeavor to enjoy the marriage with ur hubby with or without children because when they come and 'go', only the two of you will remain.

Son,look at my grey hair,you are my eldest son,it is 8 years now you have been married with no kids,wont you try look elsewhere for another fertile woman to give my grand child,how long would you continue to waste time and waiting,expecting that the male pawpaw ,infertile woman you call wife would give me a grand child,oh you want me to die without seeing my grand child,i don't need your money ,son do something,if you fail to act,i will be the one to chase the useless and unproductive woman you call wife away and get you a productive one.These are typical words that could be uttered by a mother-inlaw,For any woman having such experience,God would answer your prayer and strengtens you.

@cisse7575,and the rubbish you wrote above is the advise and contribution to help encourage the women having infertility and mother in-law issues.why derailing good thread like this,you should use your brain to open your own thread to advertise your charms and amulets shit.we know your type,liar.

Who says you can not conceive and have your baby,un-happiness take over your heart whenever you remember how you and your husband suffered and struggled in poverty before you had the financial breakthrough,the thought of you loosing your loved husband to another woman do come to your mind because you are yet to have a child for Him,whoever this is her experience,i want to encourage you that your time to conceive is very near,do not loose hope.Thank God ,i am excited,another marriage have been saved again from collapsing because of infertility\mother in-law threat.If you need to talk to someone that really cares call:08136811277.I do care.

Yesterday,a lady complained that she had gone for virtually all test\scan suggested by her doctor and most of it came out good,but the issue is that her husband has refused to go for any,he insisted there is nothing wrong with him,he besides accused his wife been the cause of there inability to conceive because she once commited an Abortion just before they met (his wife told him that earlier they met)all medical test done shows she is okay. I am reaching the husband and i hope he listens and coperate with his wife to find a solution to the Infertility issue.Such is the experience a wife is going through.Husband do support and coporate with your wife Solving Infertility demands coperation.Regards to all.08136811277 is my number,Are you going through hell ,dejected and worried over Infertility ,clash with your hubby,mother in-law threats.It just a matter of time,You shall smile soonest.

Just a word of encouragement...
My boss gave birth to a. Set of triplet after 8 years of marriage.
All ye seeking friut of the womb your. Time will come IJN

What an annoying thread!

My vexation isn't with you @op, but with the typical dumb responses from mother-in-laws or any other extended family member heaping on more pressure on an already stressed couple.

Worse of all is the frustrating & uncoporative response from the ignorant goat of a man who calls himself a "husband" in the example you gave.

Seriously, don't let anyone stress your spouse. I will love my hubby more if he calmly tells his mum she's making a hard situation worse and encourages her to go find things to keep herself busy in the meantime. Do you think a wife is happy not having kids, why would you open your mouth, have babies finished that you cannot go and adopt one if you so badly want a kid to play with?

Sometimes the fault is from the man. But typical Nigerians will look at the woman first before looking at the man

If you're TTC and your mother-in-law won't let you rest,get your mother to to give your husband some grief too
That way it will be balanced

The problem we have in Africa is lack of knowledge.Why will anyone think that if a couple is not reproductive,the fault is most definetely the woman.So many men out there have low sperm count and unless they know it and do something about it,it will always be the wife's fault.

My close friend went through hell for 4 years in the hands of her in laws,when i told her to take her husband to see a specialist,it was then that they discovered that the hubby had no or little sperm count.He was in treatment for a year,and now she has two beautiful boys.

People should just learn to tolerate each other,do unto other.....
As a parent,one needs to be supportive.No woman wish to be barren,none.

edwife: The problem we have in Africa is lack of knowledge.Why will anyone think that if a couple is not reproductive,the fault is most definetely the woman.So many men out there have low sperm count and unless they know it and do something about it,it will always be the wife's fault.

My close friend went through hell for 4 years in the hands of her in laws,when i told her to take her husband to see a specialist,it was then that they discover that the hubby had no or little sperm count.He was in treatment for a year,and now she has two beautiful boys.

People should just learn to tolerate each other,do unto other.....
As a parent,one needs to be supportive.No woman wish to be barren,none.

A colleague told me about his female friend, who was married with no kids. One day, her neighbour called her and said "I'm sure it's all these jeans you're wearing that's causing your infertility, you need to stop and be more womanly and pray and attend midweek service and this church and that..."

The wife smiled (what else could she do??) and walked away. Her husband had been battling Cancer for some time and treatments were affecting him. Luckily he beat it and survived, and kids came. But the nonsense of that "well-meaning" Neighbour

It is always the woman's fault, even when the husband is medically incapable, it is something she's doing wrong. That's the Nigerian way. It's not lack of knowledge worrying them, it is refusal EVEN in the face of knowledge, to accept any other method. Why would a man subject his wife to several tests and allow his family to harass her, and refuse to do a test? They should both do tests. Even lifestyle affects the libido and spermcount.

In this day and age of Modern Technology, ignorance about the basics is no excuse whatsoever.

It's common sense for a couple TTC to get themselves checked out thoroughly at a fertility clinic. It should be both of them doing this, not just one partner. That aside, if it turns out that the man is the one with the health issue, the onus is on him to either tell his people himself, so they get off his wife's back, or he makes damn sure that they leave his wife out of his "ish".

I know I personally won't take kindly to a MIL or any other in-law for that matter, breathing down my back with sstupid comments like "I need to back my grandchild...my grey hairs are numbered...stop wearing jeans...you aren't holy enough, do 40 days of dry fasting..." and any shyte they choose to utter.

Am just here to read Efe' s comment. Totally endorse it
I see couples spending their reproductive age running from prophet to prophet instead of finding out what is medically wrong
They swallow all sorts, sow all sorts of seeds while they have just a little obstruction that could be treated in 2 weeks
When they are almost out of the reproductive years they finally go and see a doctor by then the egg quality is poor, the spe- rm quality too not too good. After they get successful IVF they will go to church camps and lie to others who are also trying to conceive that it was pastors prayers that gave them a child
Sure prayer is good but tell the IVF bit too so people in that condition can add IVF to their own prayers

With lots of cute babies in orphanages looking for someone to love them, people still kill themselves over pregnancy or lack of it thereof ?

Ovoko!

No time or pity or encouragement for anyone that is in 2014, still praying, fasting, visiting prophets and demons for babies.

SorryO

Onegai:

A colleague told me about his female friend, who was married with no kids. One day, her neighbour called her and said "I'm sure it's all these jeans you're wearing that's causing your infertility, you need to stop and be more womanly and pray and attend midweek service and this church and that..."

The wife smiled (what else could she do??) and walked away. Her husband had been battling Cancer for some time and treatments were affecting him. Luckily he beat it and survived, and kids came. But the nonsense of that "well-meaning" Neighbour

It is always the woman's fault, even when the husband is medically incapable, it is something she's doing wrong. That's the Nigerian way. It's not lack of knowledge worrying them, it is refusal EVEN in the face of knowledge, to accept any other method. Why would a man subject his wife to several tests and allow his family to harass her, and refuse to do a test? They should both do tests. Even lifestyle affects the libido and spermcount.

Have you considered the fact that the man goes to the woman's family to marry her away from there and the attendant expectations
Perhaps when we evolve further and people don't marry or marry on EQUAL basis things might start to be different.

PS: This is not to say I endorse the lopsided pressure on just one of the partners for fertility wahala oh!

What's your point?

anonimi:

Have you considered the fact that the man goes to the woman's family to marry her away from there and the attendant expectations
Perhaps when we evolve further and people don't marry or marry on EQUAL basis things might start to be different.

PS: This is not to say I endorse the lopsided pressure on just one of the partners for fertility wahala oh!

@all,i want to express my gratitude for your comments and contributions,A tree does not make a forest .i called the husband who was not willing to go for a test on phone ,we spoke,he vehemently refused to entertain a talk initially but after i humbly persisted he agreed and we met,he expresses his annoyance and grieviances,right or wrong,i maturedly handled him,by the Grace of God he would going for necessary test on Monday.I would give an update. Adoption of a child:some may go for it,some may not,its a matter of choice.There is hope,confused,worried and dejected you have a friend you can call 08136811277

cococandy: Sometimes the fault is from the man. But typical Nigerians will look at the woman first before looking at the man

If you're TTC and your mother-in-law won't let you rest,get your mother to to give your husband some grief too
That way it will be balanced

I want to see my grandchildren



I give you 6 months to get pregnant if not 2 of us will wear the same trousers. Yes is you am talking to

Ok on a serious note to those women experiencing mother in law harassment over children issues tell them jokingly I will soon be a mother just like you . ignore every other noise and if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen

You go wait well well

SAMBARRY: I want to see my grandchildren



I give you 6 months to get pregnant if not 2 of us will wear the same trousers. Yes is you am talking to

Hello folks,what would advise a woman who wanted to tell her husband to go marry another woman (after 9 years of infertility )so the other woman could bear him a child,she is of the thought that such could open a way for her to start having hers too.The couple are legally married.She wanted to do this out of frustration as all medical approaches have failed according to her.

nature20: Hello folks,what would advise a woman who wanted to tell her husband to go marry another woman (after 9 years of infertility )so the other woman could bear him a child,she is of the thought that such could open a way for her to start having hers too.The couple are legally married.She wanted to do this out of frustration as all medical approaches have failed according to her.

If she's a Muslim, it's legal and no big deal.

@EfemenaXY,Yes she is a muslim.does such thing and believes exist where a lady becomes fertile after another woman has a baby for same man? Just wondering or probably she felts the pressure and demand on her to have a baby could be reduced at least for a while at least her husband has a grand child for his mother even though its from another woman.The said woman is having an appointment with me tommorow for consultation with all the test results she had done ,as a natural therapist i want to start with a therapy for her,but as for the decision of telling her husband to go get another woman do make more comments and views.Thanks

^^ Sorry I don't get what you're driving at.

What other "comments & views" are you expecting regarding a case where polygamy is the norm? Why the hype about her asking her man to take in another wife, knowing fully well he is entitled to take up to four more??

The man is cool with it. First wife is okay with it too. So why are you taking Panadol for a couple who are comfortable with their lifestyle choice??

No man is cool with anything here,a religion permitting it is not what we are talking about here,Even if a religion permit it does not make it binding on everyone practising,i have withnessed some muslim men married only to one wife till the husband died,the woman in question has not told her husband yet,sharing for views is not taking panadol on another person issue,it is never a headache of any sort,i am a consultant and i derive pleasures solving Infertility problems and other psychological,emotional,matrimonial issues that may arise,the woman in question been a muslim or not expresses fears of being abandon by her husband later,if the decision was that of his husband would have been a different thing even if her thought becomes real.she expresses all that on phone but we would meet fully tommorrow .Thanks anyway.

cococandy: You go wait well well

are you talking to your mother in law like that?

If you don't give me grandchildren particularly male I will replace you with another geh

My husband no go gree you

SAMBARRY: are you talking to your mother in law like that?

If you don't give me grandchildren particularly male I will replace you with another geh

cococandy: My husband no go gree you

she sabi cook amala eforiro and bush meat o