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190theclown's Posts

Nairaland Forum190theclown's Profile190theclown's Posts

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RomanceRe: Help A Nairalander In Love by 190theclown: 11:26am On Jul 14, 2014
una really get time huh
FamilyRe: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by 190theclown(op): 11:25am On Jul 14, 2014
freecocoa: Definitely found an ace that I could keep from this thread, so using the tongue turning purple lie for my children, I pray it works for them cos Nigerian children sha different from their oyinbo counterparts cheesy.
angry angry
RomanceRe: I De Suspect My Girl by 190theclown: 11:24am On Jul 14, 2014
^her matter don tire me tey tey grin
FamilyRe: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by 190theclown(op): 9:26am On Jul 14, 2014
grin
FamilyRe: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by 190theclown(op): 1:58am On Jul 14, 2014
smiley
Family15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by 190theclown(op): 1:58am On Jul 14, 2014
Most parents are guilty of telling their kids a lie from time to time. From well-worn classics like "That music means the van's out of ice cream," to wacky off-the-cuff inventions, parental fibs usually go on to become favourite family in-jokes once the kids are old enough to figure them out.

A post in message board AskReddit recently asked users to share their favourite lies that parents have told their kids, and users rushed forward to share their own stories of hilarious and devilishly inventive fibs. We've picked a few of our faves - recognise any of these?

1. My flatmate grew up on a farm and was told by her parents that their TV only worked when it rained. (Brian_is_a_tit)

2. "Don't touch that. It'll turn into spiders." (Captain_Ripp)

3. I told my niece they had to hold an adults hand when they were crossing the road or else the police will come and arrest them and they'd be put in jail. The oldest one then tried to run across the road by herself, but just as she got to the edge of the road, a cop car came around the corner and she ran back to me crying and begged me not to let them take her to jail. (Squiddy the Mouse)

4. My sister has her kids convinced that when they lie their tongues turn purple. She knows they're lying when they try to hide their tongue while talking (miabaldo)

5. My parents told me that if I pressed the little "reset" button on the power outlets, the house would explode. (obber3)

6. That Santa uses Christmas trees as spy beacons to make sure children aren't being naughty. (Code2211)
i
7. I told my kids if the didn't behave in the drive thru they'd get a Sad Meal. That's a hamburger and a spanking. (tiffmarie23)
i


8. Dad convinced us he had a special button to change red lights to green. Literally didn't realize he was bullshitting until I was 12. (dracarys_dude)

9. The car won't start if your seat belt isn't on. (FoodCake)

10. People get 10,000 words per month. If you reach the limit, you can't physically speak until the new month begins. Anytime I was especially talkative, Dad would say, "Careful now, I have to think you are up over 9,000 by now." (Toastwaver)

11. My dad told me that pushing the seat recline button on an airplane helps the plane take off, and that if not enough people push it the plane would crash. (palatablezeus)

12. My friends child is allergic to peanuts. When they are at the store and he whines for her to buy him a toy she tells him "it has peanuts." (liftlovelife)
i
13. My dad told me that oil spots on the street were little kids that got run over because they didn't hold anyone's hand while crossing the street. (OnTheCob)
i

14. Coconuts are bear eggs. (Ms_Plick)

15. My mom told my brother and I that a penguin lived behind the fridge, and if we left the door open too long we'd steal his cold and he'd get mad and come out and bite us. (khaelbee)

And we can't resist adding in this extra one, which came from a Facebook commenter, in which one mum invents a tale worthy of EastEnders to avoid letting her kids gorge on Happy Meals.
"My mom told me she was married to Ronald McDonald before she met my dad. She told me that they had 16 hamburger children together, but the babysitter ate them one night when she was hungry. Their marriage never recovered. That's why we couldn't go to McDonalds ever."

Ingenious!
Let us know what lies you've told your kids - or what your own parents had you believing as a child!

More here
http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2014/07/07/15-brilliant-lies-parents-tell-their-kids/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cuk%7Cdl15%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D277988
SportsRe: Germany Vs Argentina: World Cup Final (1 - 0) On 13th July 2014 by 190theclown: 1:52am On Jul 13, 2014
[size=38pt]ARGENTINA WINS 2-1

Nairalanders bookmark this perdiction from 190 smiley
[/size]
RomanceRe: See What Happens When This Lady Accidentally Sent Her Adult Photos To Her DAD! by 190theclown: 1:27am On Jul 13, 2014
e don set!!

the boy wen put this girl for trouble the girl go don swear tire for am grin grin
SportsRe: Siri Vs Cortana, Argentina Vs Germany – Who Wins? by 190theclown: 1:22am On Jul 13, 2014
[size=38pt]why compare siri and contana when 190 even 3weeks ago predicted argentina to be the winner of this world cup

this is absolutely unfair angry angry[/size]
RomanceRe: List Of Spacegoat Crushes In Romance Session ( Love In The Hair) by 190theclown: 11:03pm On Jul 12, 2014
undecided undecided
RomanceRe: Friendzone In Picture...(photos) by 190theclown: 6:38pm On Jul 11, 2014
Sagamite: grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

I almost fell off my seat. grin

Thank God, I am very good at sacking girls and cutting them off A-sharp. grin
Really undecided undecided
RomanceRe: Friendzone In Picture...(photos) by 190theclown: 5:57pm On Jul 11, 2014
Leetunechi: I just keeep moving from one friendzone to another..now my close pals calls me zonal director cry

RomanceRe: . by 190theclown: 12:15am On Jul 10, 2014
That Nigerian sun surely caused alot of madness in that country


smh
SportsRe: Brazil Vs Germany: World Cup 2014 Semi-final (1 - 7) On 8th July 2014 by 190theclown: 12:05am On Jul 10, 2014
Ashantiking: God forbid. German vs Netherlands. All Europe final
Whos the boss now smiley
SportsRe: Brazil Vs Germany: World Cup 2014 Semi-final (1 - 7) On 8th July 2014 by 190theclown: 12:04am On Jul 10, 2014
Freiburger: Wrong... I see the Italia 90 event repeating itself again cheesy
M sure u've agreed with me now smiley
SportsRe: Argentina Vs Holland- World Cup Semi-Final (4 - 2) On Penalties On 9th July 2014 by 190theclown: 12:04am On Jul 10, 2014
[size=13pt][color=RED]CHECK THIS OUT


https://www.nairaland.com/1799626/brazil-vs-germany-world-cup/106#24553105


ONCE AGAIN I PREDICT ARGENTINA FOR THE WORLD CUP

ARGENTINA 2 - GERMANY 1[/color][/size]
CelebritiesRe: Photos: Meet Nigerian Female Celebrities Married To White Men + How They Met by 190theclown: 1:05am On Jul 09, 2014
OP You just want make them naija babes just begin vex for their black naija boyfriends anyhow grin grin
RomanceRe: Why I Prefer White Girls Over Nigerian Girls by 190theclown: 1:00am On Jul 09, 2014
Na today grin grin grin

we all know naaa grin grin grin grin

JK o grin grin grin
RomanceRe: Ever Broken A Relationship? Share Your Experience And Events That Followed. by 190theclown: 12:59am On Jul 09, 2014
Na babes suffer am grin
SportsRe: Brazil Vs Germany: World Cup 2014 Semi-final (1 - 7) On 8th July 2014 by 190theclown: 12:56am On Jul 09, 2014
[size=28pt]I, Predict an Argentina - Germany Final with Argentina winning the cup[/size]
RomanceRe: Nairalanders Share Your Blind Dates Experience Here by 190theclown: 7:10pm On Jul 08, 2014
after like 3 mins her gate opened... saw this U-gly short gal... with very Fat cheeks ..and fat body come out through the gate... and in my mind I was like...[size=38pt]"Hope say no be Anita be this ohhh[/size]..." she was walking towards me.

RomanceRe: Nairalanders Share Your Blind Dates Experience Here by 190theclown: 6:31pm On Jul 08, 2014
majamajic: The funny thing is they all have nice and sexy voice on phone. Just like most radio broadcasters with sexy voice are normally old , ugly or both .
not mine doe smiley

awww she ws amazing. remembering those times embarassed
RomanceRe: Nairalanders Share Your Blind Dates Experience Here by 190theclown: 6:07pm On Jul 08, 2014
[color=RED]okay mine was far back 2005, Met this babe via regular shoutout's online. No photo nothing
she was abuja based and we fell for each other almost immediately, we spoke regularly every night
and she schooled at Madonna university. I was pweety young then just abt 2years senior to her and
she seem to have stuck into me as we talked every single night telling tales of how our days went bla bla bla
well after about 2months of regular phone calls. ( I still never see pic o ) cos no facebook, camera phones internet bla bla
was existing then, we finally decided to meet up.
I was a romantic young genius (Still am) decided to get her a cake with her name written on it off Mr Biggs and was kinda shy
to approach her alone so i went with a friend. She met me first at a public place where i had made plans at the shop to give her
a shout out immediately she entered with her cake and drinks despite Mr.Biggs was been crowed
Jokingly i told my friend if this girl turns out to be a shrek shes all his and if shes pweety shes mine grin
Omo mehn this babe came with cab things grin grin and immediately i saw her from afar - My Jaw dropped!! OMG
this girl is drop dead Gawjus - she called me and i told her to come in, everyone was staring at her and she seem to figure
me out in the crowed Biggs eatery. My head started floating and she was almost in tears when a shoutout ws given and her name
resounded - eyes were on her and she wasnt comfortable, we decided to leave for other un-named locations for our privacy but that
girl was one of the most pweetiest ladies i have ever dated. It was a blind date that went right and was glad it was a risk worth taking grin


[/color]
RomanceRe: For Married People Only!!!! by 190theclown: 5:54pm On Jul 08, 2014
^U never marry so no one expects u to understand grin
RomanceRe: What Attracted You To Your Partner? Let's Interact. by 190theclown: 5:28pm On Jul 08, 2014
shes gawjus infact the most beautiful woman ever to grace this world cheesy

and shes got plenty n.y.a.s.h as well cheesy
HealthRe: Many Nigerians Have Hygiene Issues. by 190theclown: 5:27pm On Jul 08, 2014
^What do u mean sir shocked
RomanceRe: My Girl Friend Wants Is Raw ''NO CD'' by 190theclown: 4:35pm On Jul 08, 2014
[color=RED]then give it to her RAW angry[/color]
HealthRe: Many Nigerians Have Hygiene Issues. by 190theclown: 4:34pm On Jul 08, 2014
some girls sef hardly wash their punanie grin

wale.star once said he picked up a girl and immediately she remove pant

the smell from that area was enuf to roast corn


Like i said before im not sure sha but i know i heard angry
RomanceRe: Gone Through Something? by 190theclown: 4:32pm On Jul 08, 2014
Chimax15: so What Is iT eXActly that u wnt us to learn from this?
grin grin grin
RomanceRe: Gone Through Something? by 190theclown: 4:32pm On Jul 08, 2014
GreenBobo: undecided
grin grin grin grin
HealthRe: Many Nigerians Have Hygiene Issues. by 190theclown: 4:31pm On Jul 08, 2014
They are mostly in lagos grin grin

I heard someone saying that Lagosians only bathe once in 3days

Im not sure doe but i heard angry
RomanceRe: My Girl Makes Me Look Like A Fool What Will I Do? by 190theclown: 4:23pm On Jul 08, 2014
abeg OP u ft share the babe number with me

I wan advice am cheesy

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