I’m a trained teacher and an educational psychologist, so I will address this issue from those perspectives. We live in a society where we like to play the blame game whenever there are issues that call for urgency like the issue of falling standards of education. This is a problem the society created but we blame the government, teachers, school or students. I will discuss that in another post.
In my experience as a teacher and researcher, it is pitiful and saddening the way many young couples are raising their children as it relates to the school setting. I was trained as a teacher that the use of canes and other forms of punishment is wrong and every sensible 21st century teacher knows this but I’ve discovered that many primary schools especially private schools are abusing this to the detriment of right training. There are 2 real life stories I would share.
First, there’s a school in Ibadan where pupils can talk back at the teachers as they please. Pupils’ parents can come to school to report a teacher and the teacher will be made to apologise to the kid. In this school, teachers also carry pupils’ desks for them.
Second, a friend of mine worked in a school in Ilorin (I used the word ‘worked’ because he has resigned) where he spanked a boy of 5yrs of age for putting his hand into the laps and pants of another female pupil in which he was actually rubbing her laps. After spanking him, the parents showed up and demanded that he should write an apology letter to them. He refused and resigned.
As a parent, you may have suffered to make it in life and you want to please your kids at all cost. I believe it’s every parent’s joy to see their children happy but there are facts you need to understand before you destroy the kid you claim to love.
1. Your child’s happiness is NOT ultimate: Children deserve to be happy but their happiness must not be a map to the way we raise them. Many parents feel giving their kids everything they want is good, No it’s morally wrong. When you’re at the beck and call of your child, the child will push for more at the expense of morals and discipline. That explains why a boy of 5 will insert his hands into the skirts of another pupil, probably he demanded to watch a movie with them, they refused, he cried, they conceded.
2.Children need to be 'frustrated' at times: Children are smart and can navigate their ways around problems but as a parent, you never allow your child to experience tasks, please, how do you expect such a child to be compassionate later in life because he/she can’t feel another person’s frustrations about life? My former NYSC LGI told us a story of his family where his elder brother bought two cars for his two boys. They never lived in a room, they never shared. Now, those boys can’t help each other in times of need. That’s one those reasons we have family members living as strangers.
3.Your child will hate you later in life: An ill-disciplined, heartless and selfish child you’ve raised, how do you expect to enjoy such a child later in life? I’m 100% sure they will hate you when they grow to realise you’ve raised them poorly. That’s why you see some children and you wonder why they’re so anti-their parent’s authority. But as Africans, we will keep praying for the child to change.
4.Teachers want the best for your child: Every trained teacher knows that if they don’t behave well, posterity will pay them. However, there are some bitter teachers out there who are animalistic in their approach though and there’s nothing we can do.
5.Set limits: You need to set rules and direct them as how to they should respect others.
So many teachers are powerless to help you train your child but at the same time, you must ensure your kids are not battered in school. Try as much as possible to respect other people in their presence. Respect their teachers in their presence. Show them appropriate love and care. You don’t need to bring other people down to make them happy. Thanks.

What is your point? Sorry, I don't get it.

carefreewannabe: What is your point? Sorry, I don't get it.

Sounds like over-pampering to me.

You are so on point.
The place of discipline in the life of any child cannot be over emphasized. The bible says " train up a child in the way he should go, so that when he is old he will not depart from it" Whatever needs to be done in order to raise reliable and responsible children should be done. Tomorrow they will thank you for giving them the best training. Remember " spare the rod and spoil the child"

Also giving a child anything he wants is not good. Just ensure that they have the basic needs of life and make them appreciate every bit of it.

NifemiOlu:

Sounds like over-pampering to me.

I guess, you are right.

If this is his point, I am with him on this one. Over-pampering is not good.

You raised some very good points here. God bless you

Valid points raised. If you work with large groups of children, you are bound to note this things.

OP, this is an excellent post.

And all kids go like ...

You mean well but your choice of words can make your message not so palatable to readers.

Saying the children's happiness don't matter
And that they need to be frustrated at time goes against what you're preaching.

I get it though.
Just saying it can be misinterpreted.

are you saying a teacher was told to apologise for correcting a boy who was caught rubbing a females at five...my primary school was a military one and I even went ahead to study in a military boarding house for my secondary school education. When I first got there the level of the schools educational standard was very high because the discipline level was also high but the moment the standard of discipline was reduced the standard started dropping till the set before mine where only 39 students out of 174 could make their waec. Immediately the school head was change and the new boss brought back the discipline and gbam.... instant result..so discipline is really needed if not ...

cococandy: You mean well but your choice of words can make your message not so palatable to readers.

Saying the children's happiness don't matter
And that they need to be frustrated at time goes against what you're preaching.

I get it though.
Just saying it can be misinterpreted.

Alright that's why I took time to explain the points. Thanks. Noted for my next post.

okotv: are you saying a teacher was told to apologise for correcting a boy who was caught rubbing a females at five...my primary school was a military one and I even went ahead to study in a military boarding house for my secondary school education. When I first got there the level of the schools educational standard was very high because the discipline level was also high but the moment the standard of discipline was reduced the standard started dropping till the set before mine where only 39 students out of 174 could make their waec. Immediately the school head was change and the new boss brought back the discipline and gbam.... instant result..so discipline is really needed if not ...

That's what I'm composing right now. When students fail, people quickly blame the government for everything whereas it's pure admin problem in those schools...although govt have their share too.

NifemiOlu:

That's what I'm composing right now. When students fail, people quickly blame the government for everything whereas it's pure admin problem in those schools...although govt have their share too.

infact we really need to set priories right and stop following everything thrown at us by the west. Even my youth leader was complaining about indiscipline today after our youth home success fellowship. This present generation has lost morals and I blame parents and no one else.

Valid points up thr sir. My mum is a vice principal and u need to hear the kind of stories she tells us. A students was told to repeat a class for failure to make 50 percent in her maths n english @ d end of the session and her mother came to beg the sch to promote her that her has refused to eat. Lol

cococandy: You mean well but your choice of words can make your message not so palatable to readers.

Saying the children's happiness don't matter
And that they need to be frustrated at time goes against what you're preaching.

I get it though.
Just saying it can be misinterpreted.

-He never said that "children's happiness don't matter" but that their happiness shouldn't be a be-all-end-all in terms of how the parents raise them. In other words, just because they might not be happy with a particular decision of yours shouldn't mean they should get their way, while you forfeit doing what's actually right. Sometimes you've to put your foot down and say "NO", even if it won't make the child happy. You don't always have to give in to what they want; they don't always have to get their way.

-Him saying "children need to be frustrated at times" just means they should face problems once in a while. Let them problem-solve their way through things or give them tasks to complete. For example, if a kid wants a bike, instead of the parents just buying it for him/her, they can get the child to complete certain chores around the house and work for the money.

My parents disciplined my siblings and I well o! They are Christians but if you see the koboko my dad hangs eh, nobody go tell you to misbehave. And i intend to discipline my children the right way, God helping me.

I got him very well the first time.
No need to explain.

Just pointed out how his choice of words in those 2 sentences can make someone else misinterpret his message.

Yields:
-He never said that "children's happiness don't matter" but that their happiness shouldn't be a be-all-end-all in terms of how the parents raise them. In other words, just because they might not be happy with a particular decision of yours shouldn't mean they should get their way, while you forfeit doing what's actually right. Sometimes you've to put you foot down and say "NO", even if it won't make the child happy. You don't always have to give in to what they want; they don't always have to get their way.

-Him saying "children need to be frustrated at times" just means they should face problems once in a while. Let them problem-solve their way through things or give them tasks to complete. For example, if a kid wants a bike, instead of the parents just buying it for him/her, they can get the child to complete certain chores around the house and work for the money.

Yields:
-He never said that "children's happiness don't matter" but that their happiness shouldn't be a be-all-end-all in terms of how the parents raise them. In other words, just because they might not be happy with a particular decision of yours shouldn't mean they should get their way, while you forfeit doing what's actually right. Sometimes you've to put you foot down and say "NO", even if it won't make the child happy. You don't always have to give in to what they want; they don't always have to get their way.

-Him saying "children need to be frustrated at times" just means they should face problems once in a while. Let them problem-solve their way through things or give them tasks to complete. For example, if a kid wants a bike, instead of the parents just buying it for him/her, they can get the child to complete certain chores around the house and work for the money.

Exactly my point. As a kid, my parents didn't follow me when I was about to resume JSS1. That day was hell. Now, if I see a stranger in need of direction, I help and do it wholeheartedly because I know how it feels to be 'lost'. Everything I achieved since was by myself. Now my dad is late at 57. So you see? EXAMPLE OF 'FRUSTRATION'

Discipline is part of education n must begin from home,a child dat is not disciplined @ home and in school cannot live a disciplined life so the choice is left for the parents to make as the child grows

cococandy: I got him very well the first time.
No need to explain.

Just pointed out how his choice of words in those 2 sentences can make someone else misinterpret his message.

The only way someone would misinterpret his message (b/c of two words, words which're perfectly fine) is if they do not read the full post nor understand it/the parts they managed to read.

Your first comment itself shows you fall into this category because what you stated isn't even what he said. And if you had understood it you would've known that him saying "children need to be frustrated at times" doesn't go against what he's preaching at all.

Well said. It needs to make front page.

Ok

Yields:
The only way someone would misinterpret his message (b/c of two words, words which're perfectly fine) is if they do not read the full post nor understand it/the parts they managed to read.

Your first comment itself shows you fall into this category because what you stated isn't even what he said. And if you had understood it you would've known that him saying "children need to be frustrated at times" doesn't go against what he's preaching at all.

Naavah: Valid points up thr sir. My mum is a vice principal and u need to hear the kind of stories she tells us. A students was told to repeat a class for failure to make 50 percent in her maths n english @ d end of the session and her mother came to beg the sch to promote her that her has refused to eat. Lol

LoL. In the last school I taught before leaving teaching for research, the proprietor of the school will instruct us to collate the results and add like 40 marks so that the students will have very high scores. Some students will have 180/100 % then we cut back again to like 98%

Naavah: Valid points up thr sir. My mum is a vice principal and u need to hear the kind of stories she tells us. A students was told to repeat a class for failure to make 50 percent in her maths n english @ d end of the session and her mother came to beg the sch to promote her that her has refused to eat. Lol

this one is still better, a boy hissed and I spanked him while teaching and we had a staff meeting to reprimand me. I know of a school. where 40 is the pass mark. little wonder they(students of nowadays) see challenge and can't get pass it.

artisticallyart: this one is still better, a boy hissed and I spanked him while teaching and we had a staff meeting to reprimand me. I know of a school. where 40 is the pass mark. little wonder they(students of nowadays) see challenge and can't get pass it.

Imagine. Just too funny.

Op, totally agree with these points. But why ask a teacher to apologise when flogging is allowed in the school. If it isnt, then such parents have the right to complain, not when you have signed the dotted lines by bringing your child to such schools.

I've been waiting for a post like this. I'm a trained teacher. I went for Teacher's Grade II immediately after second. Sch and also studied Education in the University for 1st and 2nd degrees. Going fulltime into teaching has nt been a smooth ride. For the 3yrs I spent as a teacher, we practically worshipped parents and the children. Teachers will be reprimanded in front of the children.

A child came upstairs during assembly one day and stole another child's biscuit. When the father was told, he said, "where was d teacher when my child was stealing, isn't she supposed to monitor him?" The other kids and I were already in d hall when this child went upstairs o.

If a child should fail nko?! From school mgt and the parents, chai ur own don fry that day! "So when u knew the child didn't get this topic what methods did u as a teacher strategically put in place to make sure he grasped the concept". When u come talk the strategies wey u put in place, cme hear grammar, "that wasn't good enough".

In the school where I taught, summer coaching was from 9am - 5pm as in teachers were used as glorified nannies. At 6:30 some parents haven't still come to pick their kids o. And when they get there no sorry at all. Like u also don't have a family.

We will do parents dinner from 6-10pm, teachers will now stay bek to clear d hall. I've gotten home plenty times from school at to 12 in d night with my dad begging me to say d truth if it is teaching I'm doing abi there is something else.

Lots of teachers husbands have come to carry their children from the school when they will wait at home till 7, 8 and dem no see their pikin. The period for class display competition nko?! U'll leave school late and still wake up at mid-9t to be cutting paper.

Everything is done for d child. Practically, everything. A child didn't bring food to school, u call d parent, parent will tell u. I'm on d Island now with a client, sort his food out, I'll pay u when I come to pick him. And if u don't, u r being insensitive.

Abeg plenty tori jare. Not like the pay was fantastic o. No time for urself and family. No time for anything! Round d clock u r doing smething for d kids and their parents to be "happy".

In August, I dropped my resignation o. I cannot cme and die o when someone else is using me to build their own dreams, when will I build mine.

@sparklie.
So true. When I was doing my Masters thesis, I went to a school to conduct a quasi-experimental research on the pupils as regards ADHD. I was made to wait and the kids decided what they wanted. Teachers were like sign posts, no impact. That day, a boy fell down and cut his leg, the class teacher was blamed. Imagine.

Aaaahhhh pikin fall ke? Where were u the teacher? What were u doing at that moment? What were u looking at? Aahh plenty panel questions!
U go dey go wrk, ur heart will be beating! If u see a parent in ur class discussing with ur head of school and minutes later someone calls u that d head of school is calling u (u don't even knw if na to commend u o) chai ur heart go dey race like say Usain Bolt dey there.

carefreewannabe: What is your point? Sorry, I don't get it.

the point is discipline your child when you need to and allow the child's authorities (teachers) discipline him reasonably.indulging him every time will bring regret later

cococandy: I got him very well the first time.
No need to explain.

Just pointed out how his choice of words in those 2 sentences can make someone else misinterpret his message.

As long as you understand it, I don't think there is any problem. And his choice of words are very clear and easy to understand.

Unless you have something against his post, i don't see how one wouldn't understand the point he is driving at. He already mentioned it several times in the post.