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Funny Things Only Nigerians Do - Culture (4) - Nairaland

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10 Things Most Nigerians Do Not Know About Slavery / FACT: Only Nigerians Can Have Full Conversations With Just QUESTIONS. / Life Growing Up As A Kid In Nigeria:- Funny Things You Did, Lets Hear Them. (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by mrmagoo(m): 12:53am On Oct 01, 2014
severee:

*sigh*gov’t doesn’t care about us one question why should gov’t care about you? yeah I know we are their responsibility but then again If I was johnathan or any president I wouldn’t give two f*cks about the Nigerian "common man", Nigerians go cross leg and be waiting on gov’t to bring heaven down to them when they can also contribute to change and development, ,Nigerians undermine any idea gov’t comes up with,they accuse the gov’t of lies and corruption but they worship the feet of men of God who are actually friends of these corrupt politicians,they lynch petty thieves in the market place but form bodyguard and PR for the same politicians they label as thieves later then at the end of the day them go line up to collect rice and that's it vote don sure, please which gov’t will happily claim those kind of people, if you want gov’t to care about you them make yourself worth caring about



This is the height of stvpidity You know what? I have your time today why do we now have a gov’t when we are supposed to do everything on our own?
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by timilehing(m): 1:20am On Oct 01, 2014
Mutuwa: No be lie o! Na only for naija fairly used products good pass new one..
dat fairly used self dey last pass new ones, only in naija
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by lepasharon(f): 1:24am On Oct 01, 2014
Hmm.. food for thought !
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by omistephen: 1:35am On Oct 01, 2014
grin grin grin
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by severee(m): 1:46am On Oct 01, 2014
mrmagoo:



This is the height of stvpidity You know what? I have your time today why do we now have a gov’t when we are supposed to do everything on our own?
Solving Nigeria's problems is not as complicated as people make it,
Is it security issues? how about investing in the Nigerian police force? Rather than paying "tons of money" for security guards(like una dey claim) looking at the NPF first of all they need to be professionals and look like professionals starting with their weapons, patrol officers shouldn’t walk around with assault rifles it makes people nervous and besides assault rifles are for tactical assault teams, however there are stun guns and rubber bullet guns which can be holstered + surveillance gadgets like cameras,forensic analyzing computers etc, police officers need to be trained often on work ethics that preserves human rights and at the same time maintain order so where are the Nigerian inventors to create these weapons nigerian inventors have been complaining about not getting recognition isn't this an opportunity to make money and even create that recognition that they are being deprived of. Where are the security companies that will provide this training and why aren't they taking advantage of this ,secondly cooperate with police talk to them about security concerns that you have and start neighbourhood watch programmes to assist them,thirdly police officers have to feel good about being police officers they should like their jobs and be scared to lose it, their workforce should be trimmed down to a useful and manageable quantity so resources can go round and there should be special treatment that comes with being police officers like discount on shopping items and other perks like awards and dinner parties for the NPF that make them like their jobs and at the same time there should be a platform for people to reach out and report rogue officers, when them begin sack them 1 by 1 them go behave, but where are the venture capitalist that can manage police salaries and pensions to prevent embezzlement and teach the police officers how to invest their money what of the personnel management that can structure and organize the NPF it is not so much black and white I bet there are grey areas in which you can make your contributions
Is it unemployment? How about our schooling system stop training workers and start training entrepreneurs we can establish entrepreneurial centres in churches or even through community contributions ,we can make FG demand contract staffing for everyone(with full benefits)and teach workers the power of investing and running your own business being one of its options(that's if stock options are too expensive) if they like u they renew your contract this way work will go round and nigerian man will learn to depend on his hands rather than waiting for someone to employ him
Is it electricity? Two problems in this sector power generation and power distribution , about generation, we have solar sources we have coal, natural gas or even nuclear energy the point is why aren’t we working on developing other sources of power generation where are the research teams and inventors? Do they know the opportunity that awaits them here? even though its to go retail and provide accessible and affordable solar powered inverter generators that can provide 24/7 electricity for everybody that will work both for the people and the pocket of the inventors you don’t need to wait for gov’t to give you the go ahead. as for distribution knowing the total population of Nigerians is a start saying "we are about 170 million" is wrong we should know specifically how many we are who are the rich who are the average who are the poor who dey work for bank etc we need to know all these information about everyone so where are the statistician or programmers that can design database softwares that make population census easier? that makes the distribution of not just electricity but other amenities easily available to people in an organized manner and make money for you the inventor at the same time
Is it healthcare? Exercise often eat healthy and visit the doctor for check ups at least once a year keep a clean environment and maintain good hygiene this is primary school health education but Nigerians do non of these even though you know the way hospitals are in the country, then for the professionals take a look at the sector sef see the case of NMA USE YOUR INITIAVE why aren’t they selling health insurance to people? If they even make it as low as 500naira them go see the returns, Why didn’t they ask FG to force the hand of multi national companies in the country to finance procurement of standard equipment and necessary R& D ? where are the awareness and fund raising campaigns to generate funds for their requests even the teaching colleges what are they using the tuition fees for? I attended university in Nigeria and I know how much they pay and how many people kill themselves to study medicine and surgery how about expanding their specialities? even if it means all 18000 of them contributing 1000naira each month and investing the proceeds in assets to raise money or even solely controlling the flow of pharmaceuticals and dermatological products in the market there were lot of ways to gather resources to develop the health sector which they would incredibly benefit from but instead they went to FG to give ultimatums? and rallied round tv cameras screaming solidarity for ever and embarrassing themselves.
Is it corruption that one no hard it starts with you the keywords are intergrity, accountability and discipline teach your children these virtues don’t let them cheat on their UTMEs anymore instead push them to read all work and no play makes jack prepared for a tough world , teach your friends religious leaders teach your congregation let the message go round in such a way that it becomes subliminal in the minds of nigerians, also every working and business sector should have an in house organization the promote disclipline and support for members of these sectors whether its the union of barbers or union of bankers/scientists even politicians yes they should register with the civil servants and if there are any news or complaints of unprofessionalism or corruption from any member of that union, it will be the obligation of the union to not only support law enforcement on such a person the person should also be sanctioned by their union just like tb joshua and the collapsed building CAN should support law enforcement agencies in investigations and charges and also sanction the pastor for endagering the lives of people in that building, you won't be able to bribe any judge na because the judge belongs to a union watching his actions and sharing the same vision for the country. If this is effected properly corruption in this country will at least slice in half
Is it terrorism? See whether America is sponsoring boko haram or APC or PDP, your offensive and your defence determines your victory in battle for offensive, why don’t you enlist in the NA to fight insurgency? Them say bh get sponsor ehn make we sef sponsor/support our soldiers, imagine they were complaining about poor living standards and nigerians just throwe face like say e no concern them if the money we set aside for tithes was actually donated to the NA I’m sure it would have gone far in the maintenance of the soldiers why aren't we running a military procurement/contractor/consultant company? I believe Nigeria has reached the level where we can develop our own weapons its not government that invents weapons its not the military either its people like you and me that invent these things then your defence how are we protecting our streets our homes our working places why can’t we consult with counter terrorist officers on precautionary steps to take? what campaign is our religious community organizing to discourage violence and terrorism or to save misguided dudes from becoming potential boko haram insurgents afterall its manpower that is the strength of BH and most of them are forcefully recruited or brainwashed we sef make we brainwash people into peace loving and law abiding citizens and you will see change.
So what would you prefer? To achieve these things with our own blood sweat and tears or to keep criticizing gov't from an arm chair and hoping that some day God will touch their hearts and make them remember us?

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by brothers(m): 1:53am On Oct 01, 2014
severee:
Is it security issues? how about investing in the Nigerian police force? All they need is to be professionals starting from their weapons patrol officers shouldn’t walk around with assault rifles that is for tactical assault teams but there are stun guns and rubber bullet guns which can be holstered + surveillance gadgets like cameras etc, police officers should be trained often on work ethics that has preserves human rights and at the same time maintain order so where are the Nigerian inventors to create these weapons they've been complaining about not getting recognition isn't this an opportunity to make money and even create that recognition that they are being deprived of ,secondly police officers have to feel good about being police officers they should like their jobs and be scared to lose it, their workforce should be trimmed down to a useful and manageable quantity so resources can go round and there should special treatment that comes with being police officers like discount on shopping and special perks that make them like their jobs and at the same time there should be a platform for people to reach out and report rogue officers, when them begin sack them 1 by 1 them go behave, but where are the venture capitalist that can manage police salaries and pensions to prevent embezzlement and teach the police officers how to invest their money what of the personnel management that can structure and organize the NPF it is not so much black and white I bet there are grey areas in which you can make your contributions
Is it unemployment? How about our schooling system stop training workers and start training entrepreneurs,we can make FG demand contract staffing for everyone(with full benefits)and teach workers the power of investing and running your own business being one of its options(that's if stock options are too expensive) if they like u they renew your contract this way work will go round and nigerian man will learn to depend on his hands rather than waiting for someone to employ him
Is it electricity? Two problems in this sector power generation and power distribution , about generation, we have solar sources we have coal, natural gas or even nuclear energy the point is why aren’t we working on developing other sources of power generation where are the research teams? Do they know the opportunity that awaits them here? even though its to go retail and provide accessible and affordable solar powered inverter generators that can provide 24/7 electricity for everybody that will work both for the people and the pocket of the inventors you don’t need to wait for gov’t to give you the go ahead. as for distribution knowing the total population of Nigerians is a start saying "we are about 170 million" is wrong we should know specifically how many we are who are the rich who are the average who are the poor who dey work for bank etc we need to know all these information about everyone so where are the statistician or programmers that can design database softwares that can make population census easier ,that can distribute not just electricity but other amenities easily to people in an organized manner and make money for you the inventor at the same time
Is it healthcare? Exercise often eat healthy and visit the doctor for check ups at least once a year keep a clean environment and maintain good hygiene this is primary school health education but Nigerians do non of these even though you know the way hospitals are in the country, take a look at the sector sef see the case of NMA USE YOUR INITIAVE why aren’t they selling health insurance to people? If they even make it as low as 500naira them go see the returns, Why didn’t they ask FG to force the hand of multi national companies in the country to finance procurement of standard equipment and necessary R&grin , where are the awareness and fund raising campaigns to generate funds for their requests even the teaching colleges what are they using the tuition fees for? I attended school in Nigeria and I know how much they paid and how many people kill themselves to study medicine and surgery how about expanding their specialities even if it means all 18000 of them contributing 1000naira each month and investing the proceeds in stocks and assets to raise money or even solely controlling the flow of pharmaceuticals and dermatological products in the market there were lot of ways to develop the health sector which they would incredibly benefit from but instead they went to FG to give ultimatums? and rallied round tv cameras screaming solidarity for ever and embarrassing themselves.
Is it corruption that one no hard it starts with you the keywords are intergrity, accountability and discipline teach your children these virtues don’t let them cheat on their UTMEs anymore instead push them to read all work and no play makes jack prepared for a tough world , teach your friends religious leaders teach your congregation let the message go round in such a way that it becomes subliminal in the minds of nigerians, also every working and business sector should have an in house organization the promote disclipline and support for members of these sectors whether its the union of barbers or union of bankers/scientists even politicians yes they should register with the civil servants and if there are any news or complaints of unprofessionalism or corruption from any member of that union, it will be the obligation of the union to not only support law enforcement on such a person they should also be sanctioned by their union just like tb joshua and the collapsed building CAN should support law enforcement agencies in investigations and charges and also sanction the pastor for endagering the lives of citizens you won't be able to bribe any judge na because the judge belongs to a union watching his actions and sharing the same vision for the country. If this is effected properly corruption in this country will at least slice in half
Is it terrorism? See whether America is sponsoring boko haram or APC or PDP, your offensive and your defensive determines your victory in battle for offensive, why don’t you enlist in the NA to fight insurgency? Them say bh get sponsor ehn make we sef sponsor/support our soldiers, imagine they were complaining about poor living standards and nigerian just throwe face like say e no concern them if the money we set aside for tithes was actually donated to the NA I’m sure it would have gone far in the maintenance of the soldiers why aren't we running a military procurement/contractor/consultant company? I believe Nigeria has reached the level where we can develop our own weapons its not government that invents weapons its not the military either its people like you and me that invent these things then your defencive how are we protecting our streets our homes our working places why can’t we consult with counter terrorist officers on precautionary steps to take what campaign is our religious community organizing to discourage violence and terrorism or to save misguided dudes from becoming potential boko haram insurgents afterall its manpower that is the strength of BH and most of them are forcefully recruited or brainwashed we sef make we brainwash people into peace loving and law abiding citizens
So what would you prefer? To achieve these things with our own blood sweat and tears or to keep criticizing gov't from an arm chair and hoping that some day God will touch their hearts and make them remember us?

grin jesu which 1 be newspaper article wey you upload?I no fit even read am finish Well sha for me naija problem be say them hate am when people dey progress just think am If old man get money na ritualist or e dey loot money if na small boy na yahoo if na girl na ashi if na sports e na yobo if na entertainer e no get talent
My broda I dey tell you for naija rich man na enemy
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by outstandingsyll(f): 5:28am On Oct 01, 2014
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME cheesy cool ..........and Nigeria. Please follow me on instagram to celebrate with me, promise to follow back. @thanks kiss
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by agohmamuda(m): 5:32am On Oct 01, 2014
publicenemy:


next time send him a private message
NO!
Next time i will stil ask openly, so evry1 wil knw i ws given a go ahead or not. If i dnt do it this way and u see it on my blog, am sure plp like u who never knew i got a permit, will crucify me.

1 Like

Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by agohmamuda(m): 5:34am On Oct 01, 2014
360command: sure but make sure you put nairaland as the source and the user who wrote it.

of cos i will brov. Tnks again.
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by publicenemy(m): 7:28am On Oct 01, 2014
agohmamuda:
NO!
Next time i will stil ask openly, so evry1 wil knw i ws given a go ahead or not. If i dnt do it this way and u see it on my blog, am sure plp like u who never knew i got a permit, will crucify me.

Then you should have placced the name of ur blog there for everyone to se as well.
There are several blogs out there,how will I know which one has demanded permision now if another blogger places it on his blog?
If I place this on my own blog and you place it on urs and a neutral person sees it on both how will he know the one that took permission?
But if you sent him a private message and he permits and then you go ahead, if that neutral sees it on ur blog he won't know betweenn you and the nairalander who the real source is.he very likely would think the nairalander stole it from ur blog.afterall the Nairalander may have copied it from somewhere...No comon sense,and am sure you are a graduate...every monkey and baboon wants to blog.
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by Decryptor(m): 7:31am On Oct 01, 2014
golddeejay: r u kidding me...what message r u tryin to pass wit ur list. It is soo offtrack

I bet you are guilty of one of them.
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by zanga420: 7:54am On Oct 01, 2014
barcanista: Honestly, this thrash is destined for the joke section, whoever pushed it to the frontpage deserves to be thrown into lions den.

What a joke of a thread!!!

Crap
wherever its posted doesnt matter. The nigerian masses n mentality is not the best. Its said 'if u keep blaming ur father for not being successful, time 'll come u should start blaming urself for not being successful. We cry our leaders! our leaders!! Let me ask are these leaders not from our society? Are they not a reflection of the society? We truely need self searching n tell ourself some truth.

1 Like

Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by mikolo80: 8:44am On Oct 01, 2014
severee: Fela sef talk am say "if you suffer for world na your fault be that” cheesy observe the mentality of a Nigerian

1. When a Nigerian buys a newspaper he goes through the first few pages which cover terrorist attacks,political mayhem and poverty but when he gets to the IPOs and business ads he rips the paper up and wipe his a*ss with it

2. Nigerians use their upfront salary to buy a car ,rent an expensive flat and get married then when money finish, they go Nigerian standard of living sucks

3. When it comes to mingling in Nigeria Yorubas hate igbos ,igbos hate yorubas while Hausas hate them both then later they give the suffer head speech to succeed in Nigeria its who you know

4. Nigerians prefer to rent a house while building another house rather buying a house on mortgage while building another then they wonder why real properties belong only to rich people

5. Nigerians be like I can only take nollywood seriously when their movies start becoming more creative and competitive then half of a yellow sun and October 1st come out and then Nigerians be like mtchew I go come watch Nigerian film for cinema when alaba dey there

6. Nigerians be like Nigerians consume more than they produce Nigeria cant move forward if we import more than we produce then MINDA phones come out and d’banj brings out koko garri and Nigerians be like yeah right like I will risk MINDA phone exploding in my ear and d’banj dey sell garri when e mates dey win grammy

7. Nigerians be like security in the country is very poor what is government doing bla bla but when security announcements or programmes are on tv they be like f*ck this sh*t I’m watching a telemundo

8.Nigerians grumble about how we suck at soccer but then when NPL is on Nigerians be like mtchew EPL wannabe I don’t watch such

9. Nigerians be like I’m tired of the hardship in this country and the solution is to forge account papers and travel papers ,get out of the country then go assume a dead persons identity or contract a bride to fool authorities into granting me citizenship,after all that they begin to wonder why the nation is so corrupt

10. Nigerians be like 70% of Nigerians live in poverty and deprivation how many people can boast of eating three square meals then NGOs/charity organizations come up and Nigerians be like tongue SCAM!

11. Nigerians complain of how dirty and disgusting Nigerian environment looks then they slam dunk a plastic bottle in the middle of the road then take a piss in a nearby gutter and sleep during sanitation days

12. World bank calls Nigerian economy the largest in Africa and Nigerians be like mtchew largest economy where the people survive on less than $5 a day bla bla then they wonder why foreigners(who took advantage of the opportunity) boss them around in their own country

Moral of the story: do your part and appreciate progress even though as you say they are mediocre, sometimes in life it’s the little things that pack the biggest punch.

Happy independence day


1. Dont blame them Remember stock crash ONCE BITTen twice shy.

2. Agreed. Them for buy tractor or rock crusher or fishing boat or inter some other way but nooo they have to form big boys and girls
4 no comment

5. Banks de approve the mortgage so? At how many pe7cent again,look before you leap o.

5.. They should reduce price of cinema so that masses can afford it. Volume vs margin

6. Minda should provide warranty like tecno did,dbanj is making his money

7. Govt keeps giving incompetent info
8 when teams start winning away games without bribing referee we'll support

9 how them go do na. Have to surviv3 before they can thrive

10 no be scam them be.always giving money to corrupt govt officials. All na part of neo colonialism

11 tragedy of the commons but how many of you will vote buhari so he can bring aback wai brigade

12 common sense is not common,we need PPL LIKE YOU TO ENLIGHTEN THE MASSEs through posts,lectures(free),seminars,tv and radio etc
moral of the story
WHO WILL BELL THE CAT
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by agohmamuda(m): 9:42am On Oct 01, 2014
publicenemy:

Then you should have placced the name of ur blog there for everyone to se as well.
There are several blogs out there,how will I know which one has demanded permision now if another blogger places it on his blog?
If I place this on my own blog and you place it on urs and a neutral person sees it on both how will he know the one that took permission?
But if you sent him a private message and he permits and then you go ahead, if that neutral sees it on ur blog he won't know betweenn you and the nairalander who the real source is.he very likely would think the nairalander stole it from ur blog.afterall the Nairalander may have copied it from somewhere...No comon sense,and am sure you are a graduate...every monkey and baboon wants to blog.

u are just a big fool. Mind ur biznss next time. He.diot.
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by ornorme: 9:43am On Oct 01, 2014
So sad a story!
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by louie3(m): 9:59am On Oct 01, 2014
alhajimikehell: every nigerian is guilty of these...
y r u generalizing? Not every nigerian is guilty of dis.some but nt all
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by publicenemy(m): 10:24am On Oct 01, 2014
agohmamuda:

u are just a big fool. Mind ur biznss next time. He.diot.

I am an idioot abi? I don't blame you. I tried putting some sense in your senseless skull and this is all I get.
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by Nobody: 10:34am On Oct 01, 2014
publicenemy: Number 2 is so true especially in lagos....grin grin grin


them gather small money rent flat and buy car and marry...then they say they don arrive. when you talk they say " GO AND GET A LIFE" then i wonder ....How is using ur last money take rent house,buy car and marry and be uncertain about the future be " GETTING A LIFE"..... shocked shocked shocked shocked


ITS ALL ABOUT THE NOW FOR NIGERIANS.

So so true bro. I like that part:especially in Lagos.

You see someone on a monthly salary of 35,000 obviously managing.

Then he opens his mouth and starts talking about his wife and children.

I'm like wtf
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by Nobody: 10:36am On Oct 01, 2014
publicenemy: Number 2 is so true especially in lagos....grin grin grin


them gather small money rent flat and buy car and marry...then they say they don arrive. when you talk they say " GO AND GET A LIFE" then i wonder ....How is using ur last money take rent house,buy car and marry and be uncertain about the future be " GETTING A LIFE"..... shocked shocked shocked shocked


ITS ALL ABOUT THE NOW FOR NIGERIANS.

So so true bro. I like that part:especially in Lagos.

You see someone on a monthly salary of 35,000 obviously managing.

Then he opens his mouth and starts talking about his wife and children.

I'm like wtf
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by agohmamuda(m): 11:13am On Oct 01, 2014
publicenemy:

I am an idioot abi? I don't blame you. I tried putting some sense in your senseless skull and this is all I get.

happy independence.
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by severee(m): 11:20am On Oct 01, 2014
mikolo80:

1. Dont blame them Remember stock crash ONCE BITTen twice shy
But you can short sell stocks you don't even need to keep it for long, you can stop sell the stocks so when it reduces In value to a particular price it automatically sells itself there are many more types of investment like mutual funds,real estate,business startups etc I read this in high sch when I started learning about the stock market, jobs are no longer the surest/most secured way of accumulating wealth if me and you join about $100 each month in a year its $1200 that's quite a enough to invest in something beneficial.
mikolo80: 2. Agreed. Them for buy tractor or rock crusher or fishing boat or inter some other way but nooo they have to form big boys and girls
The point is do the one you can afford and always think about tomorrow if the girl can't wait till you know where u're going then perhaps y'all should split its a loveless marriage when you are broke anyway

mikolo80: 5. Banks de approve the mortgage so? At how many pe7cent again,look before you leap o.
Dude if you can build a house and rent one at the same time, then you are ripe enough for a mortgage loan and as for the interest loan buy the one your hand fit reach you can even Forego staying in the mortgaged house , put it up for rent and use the rent money to pay your mortgage loans that's two properties to your name
mikolo80: 5.. They should reduce price of cinema so that masses can afford it. Volume vs margin
The point is nigerians don't support the movie industry too much ,I mean you can blog about the movies, get special permission to rent out these movies or even get permission to sell cheaper tickets on your blog and split the profit with the producer
Just imagine what if about 60million nigerians patronized nigerian movies at the cinema and we asked for a deduction in ticket prices or we walk you think they won't reduce ticket prices sharp sharp? Support the industry the higher the demand the lower the price, basic economics
mikolo80: 6. Minda should provide warranty like tecno did,dbanj is making his money
All electronics have warranties its the rule whether 6 months or more is left to the discretion of the manufacturer and once again my point is "support infant industries" and it will be worth your while
mikolo80: 7. Govt keeps giving incompetent info
Gov't will never tell you to jump off a cliff to save yourself, every gov't lies when they want to reduce panic I mean you can remember how january 27th ended for nigerians becos of panic,sometimes the press put words in their mouth and twist stories to make it more interesting, and sometimes sugar coated truths is a way of communicating with ignorant people who don't know any better so its our responsibility to discourage journalists who abuse their freedom of press rights and discourage ignorance as well so people can take us more seriously
mikolo80: 8 when teams start winning away games without bribing referee we'll support

That's not an excuse if you buy tickets, talk about matches famz their teams,promote sponsorships,(trust nigerians) people will see a goldmine and start trooping in to become soccer players and then the SE coaches will have a truck load of talents to choose from , now that's a good start
mikolo80: 9 how them go do na. Have to surviv3 before they can thrive
If you wan travel that's your biz no body is stopping you but acting like jason bourne when travelling and then accusing you gov't of corruption is hypocrisy and hence cycle will continue unless we take personal decisions to be more honest and transparent, it begins with you

mikolo80: 10 no be scam them be.always giving money to corrupt govt officials. All na part of neo colonialism

I don't think that's true hell NGOs don't even pay taxes plus I happen to have done voluntary work for some NGOs in nigeria no scams there my friend
mikolo80: 11 tragedy of the commons but how many of you will vote buhari so he can bring aback wai brigade
Dude don't litter,dispose of your wastes responsibly and keep a clean and healthy environment, if you see someone littering be the person to pick it up I don't think you need buhari or any leader to tell you that c'mon
mikolo80: 12 common sense is not common,we need PPL LIKE YOU TO ENLIGHTEN THE MASSEs through posts,lectures(free),seminars,tv and radio etc
a country has a large economy does not mean every citizen of that country will automatically be rich it simply just means if you invest your money in this country you will get it back so stop wallowing in self pity and do something

1 Like

Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by Samuel124(m): 11:32am On Oct 01, 2014
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Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by severee(m): 11:33am On Oct 01, 2014
brothers:

grin jesu which 1 be newspaper article wey you upload? I no fit even read am finish Well sha for me naija problem be say them hate am when people dey progress just think am If old man get money na ritualist or e dey loot money if na small boy na yahoo if na girl na ashi if na sports e na yobo if na entertainer e no get talent
My broda I dey tell you for naija rich man na enemy

angry you don dey mad abi?
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by wirelessssss(m): 12:19pm On Oct 01, 2014
sirjohnson: A British guy, Jonathan Powell wrote an article title "Nigeria: The happiest people on earth" Read the article Here The guy is so right...This article has raised a lot of eyebrows from all around the world about Nigeria

hmmm.. I'd like to know what you're into. still trying to figure out what to do
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by mrmagoo(m): 12:38pm On Oct 01, 2014
severee:

Is it security issues? how about investing in the Nigerian police force? All they need is to be professionals starting from their weapons patrol officers shouldn’t walk around with assault rifles that is for tactical assault teams but there are stun guns and rubber bullet guns which can be holstered + surveillance gadgets like cameras etc, police officers should be trained often on work ethics that has preserves human rights and at the same time maintain order so where are the Nigerian inventors to create these weapons they've been complaining about not getting recognition isn't this an opportunity to make money and even create that recognition that they are being deprived of ,secondly police officers have to feel good about being police officers they should like their jobs and be scared to lose it, their workforce should be trimmed down to a useful and manageable quantity so resources can go round and there should special treatment that comes with being police officers like discount on shopping and special perks that make them like their jobs and at the same time there should be a platform for people to reach out and report rogue officers, when them begin sack them 1 by 1 them go behave, but where are the venture capitalist that can manage police salaries and pensions to prevent embezzlement and teach the police officers how to invest their money what of the personnel management that can structure and organize the NPF it is not so much black and white I bet there are grey areas in which you can make your contributions
Is it unemployment? How about our schooling system stop training workers and start training entrepreneurs,we can make FG demand contract staffing for everyone(with full benefits)and teach workers the power of investing and running your own business being one of its options(that's if stock options are too expensive) if they like u they renew your contract this way work will go round and nigerian man will learn to depend on his hands rather than waiting for someone to employ him
Is it electricity? Two problems in this sector power generation and power distribution , about generation, we have solar sources we have coal, natural gas or even nuclear energy the point is why aren’t we working on developing other sources of power generation where are the research teams? Do they know the opportunity that awaits them here? even though its to go retail and provide accessible and affordable solar powered inverter generators that can provide 24/7 electricity for everybody that will work both for the people and the pocket of the inventors you don’t need to wait for gov’t to give you the go ahead. as for distribution knowing the total population of Nigerians is a start saying "we are about 170 million" is wrong we should know specifically how many we are who are the rich who are the average who are the poor who dey work for bank etc we need to know all these information about everyone so where are the statistician or programmers that can design database softwares that can make population census easier ,that can distribute not just electricity but other amenities easily to people in an organized manner and make money for you the inventor at the same time
Is it healthcare? Exercise often eat healthy and visit the doctor for check ups at least once a year keep a clean environment and maintain good hygiene this is primary school health education but Nigerians do non of these even though you know the way hospitals are in the country, take a look at the sector sef see the case of NMA USE YOUR INITIAVE why aren’t they selling health insurance to people? If they even make it as low as 500naira them go see the returns, Why didn’t they ask FG to force the hand of multi national companies in the country to finance procurement of standard equipment and necessary R&grin , where are the awareness and fund raising campaigns to generate funds for their requests even the teaching colleges what are they using the tuition fees for? I attended school in Nigeria and I know how much they paid and how many people kill themselves to study medicine and surgery how about expanding their specialities even if it means all 18000 of them contributing 1000naira each month and investing the proceeds in stocks and assets to raise money or even solely controlling the flow of pharmaceuticals and dermatological products in the market there were lot of ways to develop the health sector which they would incredibly benefit from but instead they went to FG to give ultimatums? and rallied round tv cameras screaming solidarity for ever and embarrassing themselves.
Is it corruption that one no hard it starts with you the keywords are intergrity, accountability and discipline teach your children these virtues don’t let them cheat on their UTMEs anymore instead push them to read all work and no play makes jack prepared for a tough world , teach your friends religious leaders teach your congregation let the message go round in such a way that it becomes subliminal in the minds of nigerians, also every working and business sector should have an in house organization the promote disclipline and support for members of these sectors whether its the union of barbers or union of bankers/scientists even politicians yes they should register with the civil servants and if there are any news or complaints of unprofessionalism or corruption from any member of that union, it will be the obligation of the union to not only support law enforcement on such a person they should also be sanctioned by their union just like tb joshua and the collapsed building CAN should support law enforcement agencies in investigations and charges and also sanction the pastor for endagering the lives of citizens you won't be able to bribe any judge na because the judge belongs to a union watching his actions and sharing the same vision for the country. If this is effected properly corruption in this country will at least slice in half
Is it terrorism? See whether America is sponsoring boko haram or APC or PDP, your offensive and your defensive determines your victory in battle for offensive, why don’t you enlist in the NA to fight insurgency? Them say bh get sponsor ehn make we sef sponsor/support our soldiers, imagine they were complaining about poor living standards and nigerian just throwe face like say e no concern them if the money we set aside for tithes was actually donated to the NA I’m sure it would have gone far in the maintenance of the soldiers why aren't we running a military procurement/contractor/consultant company? I believe Nigeria has reached the level where we can develop our own weapons its not government that invents weapons its not the military either its people like you and me that invent these things then your defencive how are we protecting our streets our homes our working places why can’t we consult with counter terrorist officers on precautionary steps to take what campaign is our religious community organizing to discourage violence and terrorism or to save misguided dudes from becoming potential boko haram insurgents afterall its manpower that is the strength of BH and most of them are forcefully recruited or brainwashed we sef make we brainwash people into peace loving and law abiding citizens
So what would you prefer? To achieve these things with our own blood sweat and tears or to keep criticizing gov't from an arm chair and hoping that some day God will touch their hearts and make them remember us?


grin lmao op why don’t you do all the things you listed and see how hard it is, why did we now vote for the government in power if we should do everything our selves where the money sef to do all these abi na teeth you wan use do am?
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by mikolo80: 12:42pm On Oct 01, 2014
severee:
But you can short sell stocks you don't even need to keep it for long, you can stop sell the stocks so when it reduces In value to a particular price it automatically sells itself there are many more types of investment like mutual funds,real estate,business startups etc I read this in high sch when I started learning about the stock market, jobs are no longer the surest/most secured way of accumulating wealth if me and you join about $100 each month in a year its $1200 that's quite a enough to invest in something beneficial.
Investment club and sophisticated investing in derivatives but on what fundamentals. Na high school them teach you this but na secondary and grammar school full ground for here o.

The point is do the one you can afford and always think about tomorrow if the girl can't wait till you know where u're going then perhaps y'all should split its a loveless marriage when you are broke anyway
we on the same page here but once again socialisation and peer pressure not resistible by the majority.

Dude if you can build a house and rent one at the same time, then you are ripe enough for a mortgage loan and as for the interest loan buy the one your hand fit reach you can even Forego staying in the mortgaged house , put it up for rent and use the rent money to pay your mortgage loans that's two properties to your name
yes and no,not at over 20% interest u're not

The point is nigerians don't support the movie industry too much ,I mean you can blog about the movies, get special permission to rent out these movies or even get permission to sell cheaper tickets on your blog and split the profit with the producer
Just imagine what if about 60million nigerians patronized nigerian movies at the cinema and we asked for a deduction in ticket prices or we walk you think they won't reduce ticket prices sharp sharp? Support the industry the higher the demand the lower the price, basic economics

dude na we get industry abi na them.abeg they should arrange their marketing channels (Use hotels and school halls for premieres and charge like 50 or 100 for the masses and instead of trying to fleece the few middleclass. Shior,who lose,not me.
All electronics have warranties its the rule whether 6 months or more is left to the discretion of the manufacturer and once again my point is "support infant industries" and it will be worth your while

good luck getting your warranty from "nigerian" company.its already worth my while to buy tested and trusted brands.he nigerian companies should either reduce their prices till they build a brand name(see how the japanese,koreans and chinese did and are doing it)

Gov't will never tell you to jump off a cliff to save yourself, every gov't lies when they want to reduce panic I mean you can remember how january 27th ended for nigerians becos of panic,sometimes the press put words in their mouth and twist stories to make it more interesting, and sometimes sugar coated truths is a way of communicating with ignorant people who don't know any better so its our responsibility to discourage journalists who abuse their freedom of press rights and discourage ignorance as well so people can take us more seriously

did the press tell them to deny yardua's death for almost hundred days,or egwu to throw 128mill wedding while universities were on strike or fuel scarcity or....see i was in the military and most of them in sensitive office are incompetent.

That's not an excuse if you buy tickets, talk about matches famz their teams,promote sponsorships,(trust nigerians) people will see a goldmine and start trooping in to become soccer players and then the SE coaches will have a truck load of talents to choose from , now that's a good start

chicken or the egg.no body will buy tickets to predetermined match unless its wwe

If you wan travel that's your biz no body is stopping you but acting like jason bourne when travelling and then accusing you gov't of corruption is hypocrisy and hence cycle will continue unless we take personal decisions to be more honest and transparent, it begins with you

.chicken or the egg. jet govt make this place conducive firstif you cant beat them join them

I don't think that's true hell NGOs don't even pay taxes plus I happen to have done voluntary work for some NGOs in nigeria no scams there my friend

was really refering to oyinbo ngos. But most mailb ngo na scam,(fine bara)

Dude don't litter,dispose of your wastes responsibly and keep a clean and healthy environment, if you see someone littering be the person to pick it up I don't think you need buhari or any leader to tell you that c'mon


game theory tinz ain't nobody go'n do shitt without motivation (pride,koboko,fine,reward) sad but true. I carry my litter around till i see a trash can but pp just laugh at me
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by friendlyadvice: 12:51pm On Oct 01, 2014
Seriously I like this thread this is the first time someone is actually procurring a reasonable solution to nigeria's problems rather than just bashing it
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by publicenemy(m): 12:53pm On Oct 01, 2014
rationalmind:

So so true bro. I like that part:especially in Lagos.

You see someone on a monthly salary of 35,000 obviously managing.

Then he opens his mouth and starts talking about his wife and children.

I'm like wtf

An them go dey look you when dey settle down plan ur future like you no know anything

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Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by severee(m): 1:46pm On Oct 01, 2014
mikolo80:
1. Dude na Air force secondary school ikeja na e I learn about stocks and investment it wasn't even in class it was in entrepreneurs club from there I started reading magazines and newspapers about it
2. grin so if them peer pressure you to become gay you go become gay abi? Have a mind of your own no let anyone determine the steps you take cos they won't be there when you fall
3. That's why I said buy the one you can afford no go buy $700 000 house when you can buy a $100 000 dey there
4. But we are the consumers and we are always right we have a consumer protection association in the country just sitting idle and redudant why don't we give them some work to do neither of us can do it alone we are stronger when in larger quantity
5. Have you bought a MINDA phone and got cheated out of your warranty c'mon its a business if they do that aren't they shooting themselves in the foot
6. Well those are scandals that's different, other countries have theirs but I'm talking abt security something that people take a lot more seriously
7. grin so you want to tell me that UEFA or FIFA do not fix matches? That barca fc (which have so many fans and have the potential of making so much money for UEFA) is so gooooood that they make it to almost every final every year?
8. But that's still hypocrisy and it doesn't help matters
9. The thing about oyibo NGO is that use NGO as a loop hole to reduce taxes and gov't seeing how they are helping support them and as for nigerian NGOs there aren't all faiye ngbara grin ignorance I not an option
10.Ppl dey laff u but do u knw which 1 of these ppl is secretly copying u, always make a good impression they shouldn't have to flog u before you do the right thing?

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Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by severee(m): 2:03pm On Oct 01, 2014
mrmagoo:


grin lmao op why don’t you do all the things you listed and see how hard it is, why did we now vote for the government in power if we should do everything our selves where the money sef to do all these abi na teeth you wan use do am?
Why una vote the gov't in power? No be because them give una rice and kerosine?
Is that the way they should be campaigning? Who do you even know you are voting for where is the connection?they say a leader is the reflection of the people he is leading if they want to run for office the campaigning should be done in a less violent and more humane way we aren't animals let them hold tons and tons of symposiums for elightenment and education on our rights as well as our obligations and to communicate their dreams for this nation so much that we should even get full of seeing them there should even be a channel specially dedicated for televised talks and forums they shall participate in let them sweat for our vote and when it is time to vote, everyone has cellphones why don't we use them to vote who we desire?if we have a data system inec can form a system whereby people of voting age get an email or text message of our voters code to add to our text vote make we see as them wan rig that election especially when programmers shall be assisting inec in blocking any hacking or intrusions on their space? We as electorates can demand for this by simply not coming out to support campaigns or even coming out to vote but oh no nigerians prefer to humiliate and kill themselves and hope things turn out great

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Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by severee(m): 2:04pm On Oct 01, 2014
@mr magoo and as for money
- How about selling your fathers house rather than burying him in it afterall it is a property and in the end you can even buy 10 more of that in your fathers name if you want to
- How about only raising a family when you can afford it, it will afford you space to save and invest and it will afford you time to think and vision as well
- How about your selling yourself, when I was young our house gardener will trim the grass and when its scotching outside he will rest under a shade while I feel sorry for him and bring him a glass of water now that I think of it that gardner was very lazy do you know that if he managed his time well speed and efficiency can be his niche before you know he can take care of landscape in two houses or three or four or more next he will start needing extra hands he will start garnering referral jobs if he wants to, he can even start a school to teach gardening, he can secure high profile projects with his connection and all it took was him dreaming big learning to work not just for money and managing his time
- How about we actually pay our taxes? I hear people making mouth about gov't blowing the money of tax payers well we are 170million in the country, and about 48.5million of this population is employed yet taxes only account for 6per cent of our nations GDP which either means the employed pay N10000 per month or we evade/ignore paying tax, and since our excuse is that we provide our own amenities and co why don't we provide these amenities as a group we can operate a non-governmental taxation system we can create a platform (e.g: NLC or NUPENG)which bridges the gov't to us the "masses" we pay our taxes to this group who in turn hand in the revenue over to professional fund managers while we as a people meditate on projects to take on to assist the government to develop the country the engineers design,the scientists invent and the economists talk about the return and investment worthiness of the project and we go that cancels fund mismanagement,paddie paddie contract awards,kick backs and it promotes accountability ,creativity and hardwork if we pay 10000 every month that is enough to indigenize and stabilize our power sector, develop every sector in the country, expand and brand our farmers market, increase the capital capacity of our financial institutions, ensure union credits for workers,grow infant industries in the country,develop the standard of our schools/hospitals, stabilize our economy as well as our currency, improve on our social welfare in the country, not to mention if we pay more or pay according to our income scale, we can achieve a lot we have the money and we will have the support of the taxpayers
Re: Funny Things Only Nigerians Do by leverage(m): 2:07pm On Oct 01, 2014
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