HELLO NL,

I have noticed that Men when usually going through some trying times tend to go into their caves by withdrawing from his partner!

Ladies, how do you take it when your man withdraws from you? what can u do to support him? and Gentlemen what usually goes through your mind at this point in time and what do you expect your woman to do or how do you expect her to react seeing that you really cant give her attention at this point in time that you seem depressed?

Pls post in your views.

Thanks

not only men, even women a time comes when you need alone time. I think it better to ask the person and find out
why is the problem. if the person really want to be alone, I wouldn't disturb because I think it is extremely important to have alone time. With so many distractions around us all the time, we need some alone time, the best thinking is always done in solitude

D.baby:

HELLO NL,

I have noticed that Men when usually going through some trying times tend to go into their caves by withdrawing from his partner!

Ladies, how do you take it when your man withdraws from you? what can u do to support him? and Gentlemen what usually goes through your mind at this point in time and what do you expect your woman to do or how do you expect her to react seeing that you really can't give her attention at this point in time that you seem depressed?

please post in your views.

Thanks

You have the answer with you, giving your partner attention she needs is a stress coupled with financial difficulty or whatever'.

sexyLeamon:

not only men, even women a time comes when you need alone time. I think it better to ask the person and find out
why is the problem. if the person really want to be alone, I wouldn't disbur because I think it is extremely important to have alone time. With so many distractions around us all the time, we need some alone time, the best thinking is always done in solitude

exactly.ride on!!

Ladies, how do you take it when your man withdraws from you? what can u do to support him? and Gentlemen what usually goes through your mind at this point in time and what do you expect your woman to do or how do you expect her to react seeing that you really can't give her attention at this point in time that you seem depressed?

I think someone posted this question in another thread.  But anyway, if you've ever read "Men are from Mars and Women are From Venus" the author speaks of how Men are sometimes like rubberbands.   Meaning that, they tend to stretch their rubberband out of reach and then bounce back when they are ready to return.  During this phase, a woman should just leave him be.  She should live her own life and do things that make her happy.  Men also tend to compartmentalize.  They have a difficult time multi-tasking and tend to handle one task at a time.  So you may want romance when he is trying to finish a project at work.  He will focus on the project at work and then focus on you when time allows.

When my guy withdraws; to be honest, my heart will just sink into my thigh (laughing).  But I know that I didn't do anything to upset him, so I try not to take it personal.  They key is to stay busy.  You could go to the bookstore, take yourself shopping, go workout, watch a few good movies or visit a friend.  Just try not to call him.  Let him call you when he is ready to spring back from his rubberband phase. 

When supporting him, you could just say "Baby, if something is bothering you, you can always talk to me."  Most of the time a guy will not talk to you until his problem (work, car trouble, money issues -etc) is solved.  Men want to solve their own problems without dragging women into the situation, but he will appreciate you for being concerned. Men dislike talking endlessly about problems that need to be solved.  So pressuring him to talk may only create more distance. 

Try to stay busy and keep yourself happy and fresh.  Let him know that you have a shoulder he can lean on, but allow him to conquer his own challenges.   He'll be back with a warrior story.

Enough said.


I have nothing else to offer. I too suffer from the cave syndrome and completely understand it when he does it.

Let him know you will listen if he needs to talk, then carry on with your life.

When he does it (go into that cave) I just carry on normal, when he is ready to talk he will, until then there is nothing I can do to force him to talk to me.

It applies to both male and female.

@poster

Foolish topic!

@ poster
its because everything bcomes irritationg to you and prolly because u dont want to let it out on anyone. Men tend to blame themselves more for their problems unlike women so they "cave" to reflect on the problem and figure out how to get rid of it.

LoveAlways:

I think someone posted this question in another thread.  But anyway, if you've ever read "Men are from Mars and Women are From Venus" the author speaks of how Men are sometimes like rubberbands.   Meaning that, they tend to stretch their rubberband out of reach and then bounce back when they are ready to return.  During this phase, a woman should just leave him be.  She should live her own life and do things that make her happy.  Men also tend to compartmentalize.  They have a difficult time multi-tasking and tend to handle one task at a time.  So you may want romance when he is trying to finish a project at work.  He will focus on the project at work and then focus on you when time allows.

When my guy withdraws; to be honest, my heart will just sink into my thigh (laughing).  But I know that I didn't do anything to upset him, so I try not to take it personal.  They key is to stay busy.  You could go to the bookstore, take yourself shopping, go workout, watch a few good movies or visit a friend.  Just try not to call him.  Let him call you when he is ready to spring back from his rubberband phase. 

When supporting him, you could just say "Baby, if something is bothering you, you can always talk to me."  Most of the time a guy will not talk to you until his problem (work, car trouble, money issues -etc) is solved.  Men want to solve their own problems without dragging women into the situation, but he will appreciate you for being concerned. Men dislike talking endlessly about problems that need to be solved.  So pressuring him to talk may only create more distance. 

Try to stay busy and keep yourself happy and fresh.  Let him know that you have a shoulder he can lean on, but allow him to conquer his own challenges.   He'll be back with a warrior story.

start running counseling classes for women.

shuu i tire o, @ LoveAlways she finish work o, i tire 4 am everytin wen she yan na tru, how old are u, 99yrs or smtin

When a guy is forced into an abnormally large amount of multitasking. They encounter an amazing phenomenon. That naturally a person doesnt want to do that. And when they get caught up, its common for other people to shirk tasks onto one who is on a role of completing tasks. Sometimes these men telegraph their multitasking and people take advantage of that.

Men need to focus on things worth doing. Which is all up to the individuals. Just finishing tasks men value higher produces a sence of accomplishment and gives a direct example of nonstop flow. So you get to see what not being stopped competently, while being very happy.

While also in contrast. Most situations at work and other social contexts. Are designed around some type of fear. You can tell because the chemical in the brain that creates fear reactions, causes factual exaggeration of dangers and over estimation of difficulty (actually different things). Which produces this unknown sense of over defensiveness.

That's all anger and fear stuff.eventually you need to remember happiness and true competence without pride (without raging because of hubris because you are actually right).

You can't learn motivation from things other people enjoy . You can only inverse your fears and look at the duplicity of fear and own the working, motivating side of the coin. You can't face your fears unless you are fully self expressed and that never happens when your self expression has the risk of criticism.

Fully. Regular self expression has tons of criticism. Regular self expression doesnt allow a marine to run in the path of bullets either. And listening has nothing to do with following orders or doing what is said. It might be quiet rebellion. Listening is not mastering information.

Listening is hearing audio cues plus prioritization of tasks.

That's why it may seem like hes not listening.

Interesting

Am a cave person