Fxwarrior:


So you live in this present economy while I live in the moon abi?

U still didn't answer my question. Do u have kids? Cos I'm guessing you don't. If u did, you wouldn't be say in the things you be said here

Wash bom bom with water,what's the point in using hard tissue?

Instead of wasting money on perfume,rub powder under tthe armpit.

No need for Vaseline,palm oil is a good supplement.

Don't bother with toothpaste or toothbrush.. Go outside break a branch off a tree.Modified chewing stick.

Leaves as nappies

In case you are on your period,use cotton wool or the jumbo tissue or Nigerian wax.

Pap as snacks for the kids.What other ridiculous thing?

All mothers please try and get jobs or run a biz in case you fall into the hands of an aka aradite.That way,you can give your kids the best possible life out of what you can afford.

My respect to all hustling mothers who do everything to see their kids are comfy.

Fxwarrior:


You are the type of woman that we tag wifey material. You are a solution provider not a problem giver. A helpmate.

Yes for now
I went on market survey
2k naira yam will last them for 1 month seriously.1 big yam like that was 350 naira. I know it will be reduced if she's buying in bulk.

20 litres vegetable oil is 4200naira
25 litres palm oil is 6k
20k is enough for rice, beans, garri lasting 2months.

These may be highly reduced depending on her location.

Oga, seems you're forgetting she has a baby. Wont s/he eat?? Abi the baby sef go follow dey eat yam, eba, beans just like that? The transition to these kinda foods dont just happen overnight for babied except in extreme cases.

Diapers nko? Milk, little little mende mende for the older kid nko? Mummy, our teacher say we should bring 5k for excursion nko( you'll say he shouldn't go, right, cos na una poor pass), i want to go to Paul's byday tmrw mummy, etc etc. Its not all about food most times, other 'miscallenousities' can crop up n you don't wanna be caught napping.


I for one, know n still remember certain painful bits of my childhood cos of yeye manage manage where it wasnt even necessary. I know how it affected my self esteem, so pls cut the woman some slack.


She herself has to forgo a lot i.e creams (vaseline/ori dey market), perfume (buy body spray for now like Sure, they gat good fragrances). Though i suspect she's living based on "what will pple say"

His mentality is not something I can cope with @ all. I pray he gets a wife that understands him. A wife that would drink borehole water without complaining.

babeline:



Thank you! Its all about quality not quantity. The guy dsnt get it. Let him have his own kids first

Everyone is used to a certain standard in life and it would kill me if I had to send my kids to rubbish schools or fry akara and pap for them as snack.Look at the state of public schools in Naija.The so called free schools where kids sit on the floor to learn.I'd rather die than send my kids to such a place.
No meat eating, rationing rice and beans or even monitoring tissue paper and cream.
Gosh! That's the height of suffering.
Its worse off if you think your hubby can afford it but is just extremely stingy , shrewd to a fault or just a friggin cheapskate.
Its important to work,do business and supplement so that your kids get a decent start in life.
Nothing worse than kids who are set by default to feel inferior
Cut your coat according to your size yes,but at the same time don't hover over small small things like a monitoring spirit.
Leave that to the extremely poor who cannot truly afford better.
If you have mb to browse Nairaland then you are not extremely poor.


This thread is a real eye opener.

babeline:



U still didn't answer my question. Do u have kids? Cos I'm guessing you don't. If u did, you wouldn't be say in the things you be said here

Read a post of his where he said he watched his sister shoving ogi down her son's throat forcefully. Has he asked her if she'll really like to do that on a good day? I'm not saying ogi is not good o, that's what my baby takes with relish.

Fxwarrior, just understand that women tend to go overboard with matters pertaining to their kids.
You need to see me n my oga going through my budget for our son. He'll strike out most things while me I'll be there boning but in my heart, i know he's right. I know you mean well, but your manner of approach is too harsh. Shikena!

I haf die o! Chei! You must be a comedian

Jahblessme:
Okokobioooko!
Growing up must have been hard,yikes!
I can imagine all the rationing.
Pesin wey marry this one don enter one chance o!no room to manouvre .I can imagine him going to d market with that black hard bag,wearing his dunlop slippers and haggling bitterly with the garri seller,chewing stick in mouth.
This kain house ehhh there must be Special ruler to measure yam,maggi counted one by one to last for 2 years.4 people to one egg and ofcourse no eating of meat.Okirika clothes forever.
Reminds me of osuofia film 'calculator'.
It is well..

Madam if your hubby isn't giving enough better find a way to supplement. Get busy! You don't want your kids to end up like ..
Its good to be prudent but at the rate some are going,fear De catch me

This over calculating I can understand in someone who is extremely poor and has no other option
Kaiii OWU NA BASTAD!

FynBabe:
His mentality is not something I can cope with @ all. I pray he gets a wife that understands him. A wife that would drink borehole water without complaining.

Jesus! What is wrong with borehole? You don't know the purewater you buy is borehole water repackaged with Nafdac number?

You need more exposure.

@Fynbabe,
I'm just a bit shocked at all the extreme rationing.
So let's say a bag of rice is to last 1 month,they have to eat a particular amount per day. If by mistake d kid wants extra nko?
No mother would be this stingy to her child if not forced to by poverty.

Hope people marry people who reason like them if not ehhhh the home will be wrestling ground.

kendraloops:



Oga, seems you're forgetting she has a baby. Wont s/he eat?? Abi the baby sef go follow dey eat yam, eba, beans just like that? The transition to these kinda foods dont just happen overnight for babied except in extreme cases.

Diapers nko? Milk, little little mende mende for the older kid nko? Mummy, our teacher say we should bring 5k for excursion nko( you'll say he shouldn't go, right, cos na una poor pass), i want to go to Paul's byday tmrw mummy, etc etc. Its not all about food most times, other 'miscallenousities' can crop up n you don't wanna be caught napping.


I for one, know n still remember certain painful bits of my childhood cos of yeye manage manage where it wasnt even necessary. I know how it affected my self esteem, so pls cut the woman some slack.


She herself has to forgo a lot i.e creams (vaseline/ori dey market), perfume (buy body spray for now like Sure, they gat good fragrances). Though i suspect she's living based on "what will pple say"

You seemed to have started reading my posts from the middle. Where did I say they should give the baby yam?

Besides you contradicted yourself by saying you suspect she's living based on what people will say.

Why are you suspecting again? Since the beginning I have been saying she's not speaking the whole truth on how she squanders 50k in a month. You are contradicting me only to take my stand all along. Are you a bat?

Jahblessme:
@Fynbabe,
I'm just a bit shocked at all the extreme rationing.
So let's say a bag of rice is to last 1 month,they have to eat a particular amount per day. If by mistake d kid wants extra nko?
No mother would be this stingy to her child if not forced to by poverty.

Hope people marry people who reason like them if not ehhhh the home will be wrestling ground.

Have you seen a 50kg bag of rice that you said they will finish within a month, a mother and her child cos the baby won't eat it and ocasional guests?

I made enough provisions for eat as you want in my reasoning. Am not that stingy abeg.

@fxwarrior, how about refilling gas or buying kerosine? Abi you go enter forest go fetch firewood for them .

FynBabe:
@fxwarrior, how about refilling gas or buying kerosine? Abi you go enter forest go fetch firewood for them .

12.5kg gas lasts a family of four for a month. And its currently N3200 where I am. Its not that expensive.

Stingy men on the loose in this thread. Tufiakwa!!! Man wey dey write down list to calculate costs everytime, fear that man o!! Na poverty mindset dey worry am.

Fxwarrior:


You seemed to have started reading my posts from the middle. Where did I say they should give the baby yam?

Besides you contradicted yourself by saying you suspect she's living based on what people will say.

Why are you suspecting again? Since the beginning I have been saying she's not speaking the whole truth on how she squanders 50k in a month. You are contradicting me only to take my stand all along. Are you a bat?

lol, I'm no bat and yes, i know I'm speaking from both sides of my mouth. Reason being that, I'm being sympathetic with the woman's plight and at the same time, scolding her because i feel she's indulging in some excesses. So, there you have it, Warrior!

FynBabe:
@fxwarrior, how about refilling gas or buying kerosine? Abi you go enter forest go fetch firewood for them .

So you have finally left the borehole water issue?I expected you to continue arguing about how drinking borehole water is punishment.

As for kerosene how much is a litre of kerosene? I think 150naira. 3k naira kerosene is more than enough for 1 month.

All these things you are bringing are not even costly.

One thing I forgot to mention is that the husband will not leave the house empty. I know he must have left one or 2 bags here and there.

Last Bullet: Op simply tell your friend to make a budget on expenditure of the 50k

Sophyrocks:
Stingy men on the loose in this thread. Tufiakwa!!! Man wey dey write down list to calculate costs everytime, fear that man o!! Na poverty mindset dey worry am.

shut up ur type still collect money fr boyfriend u beta go hussle!

FynBabe:
@fxwarrior, how about refilling gas or buying kerosine? Abi you go enter forest go fetch firewood for them .

So you have finally left the borehole water issue?I expected you to continue arguing about how drinking borehole water is punishment.

As for kerosene how much is a litre of kerosene? I think 150naira. 3k naira kerosene is more than enough for 1 month.

All these things you are bringing are not even costly.

One thing I forgot to mention is that the husband will not leave the house empty. I know he must have left one or 2 bags here and there.

Last Bullet: Op simply tell your friend to make a budget on expenditure of the 50k ahead of the next allowance. Scrutinize it with her and make adjustments.

Outline the needs and want column. Draw a scale of preference.
I have a shoe and a slip on. I want a sandal but I don't need it.

I have 2 shoes. I want a third shoe Italian shoe but I don't need it.

5minsmadness:

12.5kg gas lasts a family of four for a month. And its currently N3200 where I am. Its not that expensive.

Thank you for that. I was even thinking of asking someone on it. Its almost the same as kerosene.3k kerosene will last for a month.

They are just clutching at nothing in particular.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Jahblessme:
Wash bom bom with water,what's the point in using hard tissue?

Instead of wasting money on perfume,rub powder under tthe armpit.

No need for Vaseline,palm oil is a good supplement.

Don't bother with toothpaste or toothbrush.. Go outside break a branch off a tree.Modified chewing stick.

Leaves as nappies

In case you are on your period,use cotton wool or the jumbo tissue or Nigerian wax.

Pap as snacks for the kids.What other ridiculous thing?

All mothers please try and get jobs or run a biz in case you fall into the hands of an aka aradite.That way,you can give your kids the best possible life out of what you can afford.

My respect to all hustling mothers who do everything to see their kids are comfy.

jayedu108:
I should shut up. Na my type dey hide money from my girlfriend/wife! I'm too stingy.

saponification:
Hello houz,a close friend of mine came to see me today n she complained bitterly dat her hubby abroad sends her 50 thousand naira every month for her upkeep n dat of her 2 kids.accordin to her,d 50k is for everytin excluding houz rent n her children's skul fees.from her breakdown,d money is not always enough cos she buys fuel for her car n gen,pay NEPA bill,buy cookin gas,pay hospital bill when ssickness comes n above all her 1 year plus baby takes so much money in terms of cerelac(not less than 4 tins a month at 1500 each tin),SMA milk(not less than 2 tins @ 3900 each) and pampers.apart from d above stated expenses,she will also buy her soap,cream,her children's own,her perfume n other stuffs.then once in a while she or her children will need clothes(cos hubby does not send). The issue now is dat she've given hubby a breakdown of these expenses n begged for increament of her allowance(even if not monthly,at least some months) but her hubby refused sayin some families use less of dat amount monthly.she is confused n do not know what else to do(she's been lookin for a job witout success so far).I advised her the best way I could but I am bringin it here to get more suggestions on how she can best handle dis situation.pls give ur opininos cos she was even asking me if I think she is not economical,if its her fault dat the 50k monthly upkeep is not enough for her n d a2 kids

For their baby to still be in pampers, it shows that its not long since the guy travelled abroad.
What does the guy do?
Does he even have papers?
He is probably squatting with a friend somewhere and to send that £200 may be even very difficult for him andhe is living like a pauper just so he can send that money unfailingly at the end of every month
The problem is that many Nigerians automatically feel that anyone who travels abroad has automatically made it and its not until they travel themselves that they see the reality of it all.
The guy may even be working in a factory somewhere as a casual worker on a minimum wage and using someone elses NI number and his wages being paid into a third party account and that one is taking a cut for allowing him to use his account details who knows?

if the poster cant survive on what the husband is providing then she needs to find a job to supplement that income. That is what many married women do.

If she cant fnd a job, then she can start a small business.

God forbid, if the guy dies today how will she and her children feed?

This is the time that he needs her most and rather than reporting her husband to people all over the place, she should be looking for ways to releive her husband of some of these burdens until he finds his feet in the UK

God will surely give him his kind of woman if not, na wrestling things sure pass

Jahblessme:
@Fynbabe,
I'm just a bit shocked at all the extreme rationing.
So let's say a bag of rice is to last 1 month,they have to eat a particular amount per day. If by mistake d kid wants extra nko?
No mother would be this stingy to her child if not forced to by poverty.

Hope people marry people who reason like them if not ehhhh the home will be wrestling ground.

Mr Warrior,
It's not just about the 50kg bag of rice but your seeming inflexibility and alternatives which may not be palatable.
For me,any man who does market surveys and knows the price of yam and fish down to their sizes
Odikwa risky!
Kerosene price and how long it will last.If it doesn't nko?firewood?
Fried yam for snacks..one day yeah but a couple of times? Come on! Kids may want biscuits,occasional yogurt etc.
That's carrying shrewdness to a whole new level.
I can only advocate such measures in poverty situations.
No insult intended but if you are married,I wonder how your wife copes.She won't even be able to buy something she likes.Maybe 2/pairs of shoes for 10/years or till the heel is torn to shreds.

Women work ooo or do biz by the side to avoid these sort of stories.

I De fear men like u abeg.

Jahblessme:
Mr Warrior,
It's not just about the 50kg bag of rice but your seeming inflexibility and alternatives which may not be palatable.
For me,any man who does market surveys and knows the price of yam and fish down to their sizes
Odikwa risky!
Kerosene price and how long it will last.If it doesn't nko?firewood?
Fried yam for snacks..one day yeah but a couple of times? Come on! Kids may want biscuits,occasional yogurt etc.
That's carrying shrewdness to a whole new level.
I can only advocate such measures in poverty situations.
No insult intended but if you are married,I wonder how your wife copes.She won't even be able to buy something she likes.Maybe 2/pairs of shoes for 10/years or till the heel is torn to shreds.

Women work ooo or do biz by the side to avoid these sort of stories.

I De fear men like u abeg.

Fear any man who rations like that o. Chai! Total turn off!!.

Jahblessme:
Mr Warrior,
It's not just about the 50kg bag of rice but your seeming inflexibility and alternatives which may not be palatable.
For me,any man who does market surveys and knows the price of yam and fish down to their sizes
Odikwa risky!
Kerosene price and how long it will last.If it doesn't nko?firewood?
Fried yam for snacks..one day yeah but a couple of times? Come on! Kids may want biscuits,occasional yogurt etc.
That's carrying shrewdness to a whole new level.
I can only advocate such measures in poverty situations.
No insult intended but if you are married,I wonder how your wife copes.She won't even be able to buy something she likes.Maybe 2/pairs of shoes for 10/years or till the heel is torn to shreds.

Women work ooo or do biz by the side to avoid these sort of stories.

I De fear men like u abeg.

If you were attentive you will see I made provisions for a carton of biscuit. How much do you think a carton of biscuit is? Not even that costly to be considered.

Start from the beginning and read my posts. Not jumping midway like the other lady I mistook for a bat.

That is ehn, I will run for my life without looking back. 200 naira fish kind of man! Tufiakwa!

Sophyrocks:




Fear any man who rations like that o. Chai! Total turn off!!.

Guy abeg try fix ursef with somthn abeg

FynBabe:
That is ehn, I will run for my life without looking back. 200 naira fish kind of man! Tufiakwa!

That kind of man hides money to count it first when he wants to give you and will ask you for change. He must quarrel b4 he releases money o. He will count all the foodstuffs and calculate how long it will last for a month cup by cup.

The fact that the husband is in America does not translate to him being "rich" If that is what he is able to provide for now, she should budget accordingly. She even has a car but does she generate income? If not, what is the economic necessity of the car?
The money is as enough as she makes it.
Pray for your man to be able to do more.
A grateful heart is a happy one. More complaining may create new problems for the relationship.

She can even use her car as a source of income,here in lagos I have seen women at night who use dey personal car as taxi jst to make some change for the family,success and wealth is all about ideas if a woman can drike keke napep to make a living, why can't she use her car to make money abeg no time husslin tings dat the way nw!

Fxwarrior:


If you were attentive you will see I made provisions for a carton of biscuit. How much do you think a carton of biscuit is? Not even that costly to be considered.

Start from the beginning and read my posts. Not jumping midway like the other lady I mistook for a bat.

I totally understand your points. Every bits of it. 50k could be enough if she's clever in resourcefulness just like you. However, truth is there are some months that 50k won't just be enough, no matter how careful she tryna get. I guess you're still single(not married i mean), you'd agree with me sometimes we tend to helplessly go above board with our spending. Thats said, i believe the woman in question is living "my hubby dey yankee" lifestyle.
For crying out loud, that 50k is some people's monthly salary here in Nigeria and they also have kids who you would never categorize as "ajepako". No amount can be too small or too much for upkeep regardless of number of kids involved. It all depends on your kinda person.
She should get a job to ease it off abeg.
FX, it seems you're an Economist. I would really want to see from you a detailed list of how 50k can be wisely utilised by mother of two in a month. You may help some spendthrift to a change of heart.

FynBabe:
That is ehn, I will run for my life without looking back. 200 naira fish kind of man! Tufiakwa!

What's wrong with 200naira fish? If thats what she can comfortably afford, why can't she make do with that instead of lamenting. Who's gonna know how much fish is in her soup? Pls you ladies should learn to cut your cloth to your size. The mistake bunch of our ladies out there make is they see marriage as competition, always wanting to outdo themselves. The guy may be out there hustling day and night in unfavorable conditions just to make ends meet. Lets learn to be supportive partners.