Every person who’s been cheated on has been forced with making a decision: send their philandering partner packing or surrender to a second chance at love, hoping that monogamy will be their guy or gal’s friend the next time around.
While saying “everything you own in a box, to the left!” seems like a no-brainer, for some, the rapture of love is too hard to dismiss so easily. If you’re grappling with such a choice, here are a few things you ought to consider:


1. Privacy Protocol

When Toya Miles’ husband of three years committed adultery, Miles, 34, demanded unlimited access to her spouse’s email, cell phone and social media accounts before finally deciding to restore the relationship. While it’s normal for someone to police their partner immediately after infidelity (experts say 1 – 3 months is the norm), more monitoring can sometimes mean more problems a. Not only does long-term policing shine a spotlight on a partner’s unresolved trust issues, it is also a key indicator of low self-esteem, a lethal combination that could result in a partner or spouse cheating again.

2. Shutout the Naysayers

Like kryptonite was to Superman, entertaining outside opinions can be just as detrimental to a relationship. For LaShaun Booker*, 27, it was the side-eyes, whispers and negative comments from family and friends that prompted her to end a 4-year relationship with her fiancé following his one-night stand. “I began to feel guilty and ashamed for taking him back and I felt like something was wrong with me,” she said.


3. Slow Down on the Sex

You don’t take a child on punishment out for ice cream and you don’t have sex with your cheating partner while your emotions are still a roller coaster. Jumping back into the bed prematurely is a surefire way to complicate matters if trust and betrayal issues are left unresolved, says Clark-Faler.. Besides, there’s no sex like emotionally healed and restored make-up sex.


4. Consider Professional Counseling

A trained professional that works with infidelity over and over knows that it is a product of something larger going on in the relationship. [Therapy will] start unearthing the truth and why someone went outside of the relationship.

5. It Could Happen Again

Though the “Once a cheater…” saying may not always hold true, when returning to someone with a philandering past there is always the risk that history may repeat itself. The key to making your odds better is consistency says Tiffany Alexander, a professional clinical counselor. “There’s nothing that is 100 percent guaranteed,” she said. “What you can look for when you’re having discussions about why the affair took place, and what you want, is whether the person is putting fourth the effort? If they are, and are doing it consistently, that can be something tangible for you to hold on to and say ‘That’s a relationship we can work for.’”

6. Were You Put At Risk?

Before rekindling a relationship post-infidelity, i will advise couples to take inventory of all outside risks they may have been exposed to as a result of the cheating. HIV and STD testing are a must for any couple considering reuniting, along with a full disclosure of other potential threats such as financial mishandling and other safety concerns.

7. You Can’t Save ‘Em All

Not every relationship is bound for recovery; particularly those where the cons outweigh the pros. “If you feel like being back in that relationship is causing you to question who you are as a person, making you feel like you can’t express yourself, or is forcing you to give up a lot of your happiness, then that is not a relationship worth getting back into, And the truth is Half the battle is knowing when to let go.

This is cool... I dont take cheating partners back anyway.

Mehn.... I no even get any partner sef..

passionate88:
Mehn.... I no even get any partner sef..

I will do as you say bruv
Nice write up

A cheat deserves to be dumped. Don't deny her that right.

E go hard b/f I take back cheater jhoor bt I will tell my girlfriend so she can use this when I cheat

Who still does that: I mean reconciling with cheatin partner?

Taking back a Cheat?

Only thing you do to a cheat is cut him/her loose if you can't kill her/him and bury the cheat in your back yard.

If she cheats on you and you take her back, she cheats on you again then you deserve to be cheated.

gsalvatore:
Taking back a Cheat?

Only thing you do to a cheat is cut him/her loose if you can't kill her/him and bury the cheat in your back yard.

If she cheats on you and you take her back, she cheats on you again then you deserve to be cheated.

Mbok! Dnt be sooo harsh