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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? (10515 Views)
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Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 3:03pm On Nov 27, 2014 |
Sagamite: Polygamy isn't compulsory, there's no law in my culture that says, 'a man must have more than one wife'. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Sagamite(m): 3:04pm On Nov 27, 2014 |
Chiamaka01: It is not compulsory but there is a law banning it? |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 3:24pm On Nov 27, 2014 |
Sagamite: No, you're not making any sense, paying the bride-price is compulsory if you want to get married according to traditional customs, but polygamy isn't, so there. |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Sagamite(m): 3:43pm On Nov 27, 2014 |
Chiamaka01: Oh, so because the bride-price is compulsory, you insist he has to pay that but you are not being sold? Please make sense and tell me whether your traditional customs does not make it compulsory: - for you to submit to your husband and be inferior in the relationship (like submit to his wish of a second wife) - for you to obey him and let him make the decisions (like what name you take) - for you to be a virgin upon marriage, and if you are not, you have to confess to your mother-in-law and other of your husband's female family members who all your previous sexual partners are. - for you to be indirectly married to his family, not just him. If so, how come you are not planning to do those or how come you are not insisting on those? Please make sense when you respond. 2 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 5:20pm On Nov 27, 2014 |
[quote author=Sagamite post=28393870] Oh, so because the bride-price is compulsory, you insist he has to pay that but you are not being sold? Please make sense and tell me whether your traditional customs does not make it compulsory: - for you to submit to your husband and be inferior in the relationship (like submit to his wish of a second wife) - for you to obey him and let him make the decisions (like what name you take) - for you to be a virgin upon marriage, and if you are not, you have to confess to your mother-in-law and other of your husband's female family members who all your previous sexual partners are. - for you to be indirectly married to his family, not just him. If so, how come you are not planning to do those or how come you are not insisting on those? Please make sense when you respond.[/quote] No, what part of Nigeria are you from? I know some cultures in Nigeria still have those practices, but not mine. |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Sagamite(m): 5:50pm On Nov 27, 2014 |
Chiamaka01: Did you not say you are from Edo? What tribe are you and which tribe in Edo does not practice that culture? 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 8:03pm On Nov 27, 2014 |
Sagamite: I'm Bini and i've never heard of that. I don't know of other tribes, though. The most ridiculous is being indirectly married to the family. |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Sagamite(m): 8:08pm On Nov 27, 2014 |
Chiamaka01: So you telling us that in Bini traditional customs: - You are not suppose to submit to your husband and be inferior in the relationship - You are not expected to obey him and let him make the decisions - You are not expected to be a virgin upon marriage, and if you are not, you have to confess to your mother-in-law and other of your husband's female family members who all your previous sexual partners are. - Your families are not automatically married to each other? It is only paying dowry that is part of the customs? 3 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 9:11pm On Nov 27, 2014 |
MissMeiya: and d day came when EfemenaXY over did it without her support system. 2 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 5:47pm On Nov 30, 2014 |
[quote author=Sagamite post=28400482] So you telling us that in Bini traditional customs: It is only paying dowry that is part of the customs?[/quote] Yes, it's only payment of dowry that's part of the wedding customs. |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by KanwuliaJara: 1:24pm On Dec 01, 2014 |
Tufiakwa! To raise products of 2 or more 'smelling' poohsies dipped by a dirty blokos? No thanks! 2 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Sagamite(m): 7:24pm On Dec 05, 2014 |
Chiamaka01: You are a LIAR! 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 7:44pm On Dec 05, 2014 |
Sagamite: No, i'm not. Tell me what constitutes the wedding customs, then. |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Sagamite(m): 8:02pm On Dec 05, 2014 |
Chiamaka01: In you customs, all the other things I asked you are part of it. It is a joke and an insult to everyone's intellect to say only dowry is part of Bini culture. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm9AObgTA2k You need to apologise now to everyone reading for such a lame lie. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 8:22pm On Dec 05, 2014 |
Sagamite: I now see your problem. Where did i say that? @bolded. |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Sagamite(m): 8:34pm On Dec 05, 2014 |
Chiamaka01: So you are saying in Bini customs, a wife is seen and expected to be an equal with her husband? 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 8:41pm On Dec 05, 2014 |
Sagamite: No, i'm only concerned about the wedding customs. And the wedding is the ceremony, not how i'm expected to live after the ceremony. Whew. |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Sagamite(m): 8:45pm On Dec 05, 2014 |
Chiamaka01: Huh? First of all, you are lying that in the Bini wedding customs, a woman is not expected to be subordinate? Secondly, how come you are only insisting of following certain wedding customs and not marriage customs? 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 8:51pm On Dec 05, 2014 |
Sagamite: Osanobua! You said, 'so in Bini customs, a wife is seen as equal to her husband?" and i said "No". Does 'No' have two meanings |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 8:55pm On Dec 05, 2014 |
Sagamite: You don't expect my relatives who are animists to come for a church wedding, do you? |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Sagamite(m): 8:57pm On Dec 05, 2014 |
Chiamaka01: Ahhh! Lar-ray, so that was what your "No" meant? Chiamaka01: Why not? Or, you feel the necessity to follow the "wedding customs", why not go where the customs state the wedding should take place? 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 1:10am On Dec 06, 2014 |
[quote author=Sagamite post=28627389] Why not? Or, you feel the necessity to follow the "wedding customs", why not go where the customs state the wedding should take place?[/quote] So i'm not free to wed the way i like. It's called being reasonable, there's nothing that'll make me swear in a shrine, so, i have to consider my kinsmen's beliefs, too. |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Sagamite(m): 1:34am On Dec 06, 2014 |
Chiamaka01: So your reason for asking for a man to buy you is not because of customs as you claimed? It is because you choose to have and participate in that belief? 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 11:21am On Dec 07, 2014 |
Sagamite: What are you saying? Have you heard of the Italian couple who decided to wed in the Igbo traditional way? It was their decision, it does not mean that they decided to live according to the Igbo culture. I have nothing left to say to you. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Sagamite(m): 11:55am On Dec 07, 2014 |
Chiamaka01: What has this got to do with the fact that you CHOOSE to be bought and it is not binding on you in your custom? 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by skyfullofstars(f): 2:59am On Sep 09, 2015 |
Your friend's theory doesn't make sense. The fact that the man has 2 or 3 wives doesn't stop him from cheating on them all and keeping side chicks or lovers. Same story. |
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