As a woman i do not even need my hudband to tell me to quit my job for the sake of taking care of the children. For me taking good care of my children is my priority. Before i take up any job, i check out if it will afford me ample opportunity for my children if not i leave it. I have made a lot of sacrifice for their sake especially now they are still small. I have other big plans for future which i know i will achieve as soon as my children can take care of themselves when i am not around. The kind of job i wanted i could not get but the tight ones even though the pay is good kept coming but i could not take them. So i end up with business and its also going very well. Some times the money we chase passionately does not give us satisfaction so we have to strike a balance. My advice is that both the husband and wife should harmonise the issue. The man should not force the woman and at the same time there should be an arrangement for an alternative job for the woman that will allow her some time. Its not easy to get an income earner to stay at home and do nothing.

This issue is not for everyone to comment. It's for real men and women - married. Everyone has aspirations for his/her life, so mariage'ld not thwart them instead encourage it. Most career women make Happy home.

The trick is to plan around your goals and ambitions. Take your greatest aspirations, and ensure that everything else falls in line around it

pembisco:

there comments de vex me aswear, most comments from the ladies depicts àrrogance and such ladies hardly make a good home. peak of your carrier ko, continue searching for vanity while your home is collapsing gradually and before you know it, your hubby has found someone to keep busy since you claim you don't have time.

It is spelt 'career'.

@soledad very nice one , ur marriage may be very near 10 yrs or above. A lot of comments here are very senseless. We lawyers recently discovered that 90 percent of divorce these days as as a result of imaturity. Imagine the comments on this forum.... and I hear some people even come here for advice.... also 21 yaer old ladies too with no experience in marriag are commenting on this very sensitive issue. O ga oo

Kimoni:
Yes they can! Career women have had successful marriages in the past, still having and will continue to have. Numerous examples abound in every field. I would say celebrity marriages are rather not good examples cuz most are either based on faulty foundations or they just couldn't handle the success.

Agreed getting married to a career woman comes with its own peculiar challenges but both parties can overcome them if there is love and understanding between them. And I don't want to believe it's any different from the other type of challenges that comes with marriage, if they cant both effectively solve one, they will solve the other types of challenges as well eg couples who are effectively able to handle the challenges that come with having a career woman in the home are more likely to be able to resolve financial issues, in-law issues, delayed pregnancies etc

There are numerous benefits that come with it also, so couples just have to decide if they want to focus on the strengths or the challenges.

OP, In the example you gave, how does a woman quitting her job translate to joy coming back to the family? I am struggling to understand the correlation. Are you saying the moment she started working, her husband and children became sorrowful?

yes,its possible that when a woman starts working,things will no longer go smootly in thf home,a wide vacuum has bee created,especially,if she is the lazy type..i dont know what the women ase purruing,.check most women that love their career more than their family,there is no single joy in the family,as the man and children always seek for solace outside.

GodofGrace:
. good points that is it .they almost turn our societies to something else, did they expect a man to guide a grown up daughter on what to do during her menstural period all do they expect grown up daughters to confide with their father easily with a relationship issues especially when she knows that her father is no nonsense man

Any father who is so 'no nonsense' up to the extent his kids cannot confide in him has failed in his duty of being a father.

coputa:
yes,its possible that when a woman starts working,things will no longer go smootly in thf home,a wide vacuum has bee created,especially,if she is the lazy type..i dont know what the women ase purruing,.check most women that love their career more than their family,there is no single joy in the family,as the man and children always seek for solace outside.

It is also possible that when a woman starts working, things start getting better for the family and everybody becomes happier. It's left for the couple to decide which of the possibilities they want to accept. Their choice, not mine!

soledadd:
As a woman i do not even need my hudband to tell me to quit my job for the sake of taking care of the children. For me taking good care of my children is my priority. Before i take up any job, i check out if it will afford me ample opportunity for my children if not i leave it. I have made a lot of sacrifice for their sake especially now they are still small. I have other big plans for future which i know i will achieve as soon as my children can take care of themselves when i am not around. The kind of job i wanted i could not get but the tight ones even though the pay is good kept coming but i could not take them. So i end up with business and its also going very well. Some times the money we chase passionately does not give us satisfaction so we have to strike a balance. My advice is that both the husband and wife should harmonise the issue. The man should not force the woman and at the same time there should be an arrangement for an alternative job for the woman that will allow her some time. Its not easy to get an income earner to stay at home and do nothing.

This is an example of 'due to circumstances your career may be put on HOLD rather than TERMINATED'

Ofcourse, they can! Besides, a woman who is compelled to sacrifice her career for her marriage should think first of whichever gives her joy. Is it her career, or her family? When that is sorted out, let her proceed. I'm sure there won't be cause for alarm when she finally takes her decision.
Btw, its good for a woman not to take up a career that will affect her marriage.

skydeep:

Affirmative. Erm...it all depends on your understanding of " career woman"

Ok then.

What is your understanding of a 'career woman'

uniformed men and women cannot have a happy family at all times as far career is concern especially in the military, families have to sleep out of its comfort zone to embrace some change. a female friend of mine who is a soldier was transferred to Maiduguri leaving her children in Abuja, then her husband was on course in Lagos, it was not funny. I'm also married to a soldier who travels a lot with oga, and now got a good job in Lagos, I have je jelly relocated to Lagos, when it get good they will join me, children should be able to make sacrifice too.

some couple are lucky to have the right jobs, some husband and wife closes before 5:pm

some just have to strive hard

Having a career as a woman is good but it shouldn't make one neglect her home. Family must always come first before any other thing. Many women have shoved their families aside all in the name of having a career, which is very wrong. Raising a good and healthy family is also a very important investment and should not be joked with. Remember, that career of yours will eventually pass away but family will always remain

pembisco:
stuuupiid ladies here claiming gender equality. ..that a woman shouldn't quit her job to have time for her family. later the same shiiity ladies will start claiming the weaker sex and need special treatment. I'm disappointed in some of you here, western life has curupt your mind, you've lost your real African upbringing. imagine a doctor husband and wife as a banker, you mean the husband can't tell her to quit just to have time for the kids? nonsense

that is your own scenario,

imagine a policeman earning 60k monthly and a banker wife earning 400k monthly and having four children to care for,

be honest with your self, who will you advice to quit?

Lilimax:
Correct! I didn't pick certain job simply because it'll affect my home front negatively I told myself the truth from day one...

if your husband earns well then you can pick and chose jobs or be a full time house wife, most times women work because of financial constrain, so as to contribute financially to the home especially when the man is not well paid in his job, and the vase population of Nigerians fall into this category.

market women go to bush market or travel market for days, some move with the trade fairs within and outside Nigeria.
the struggle is all to train and feed the children.

people are managing their marriage not that they have a happy home at all times.

skydeep:

She is busy woman

u too correct.
because most of those women do it for there kids.

Today women ve only succeeded in selling their pussies for money.

Today women ve only succeeded in selling their womanhood for money.

ireneidiva:

It is spelt 'career'.

its not like you don't understand what I mean...so fucccck off my mentions

Depends of her field or profession, I doubt a successful ship captain can have an happy family
While a it is easier for a successful teacher to have an happy familym
Btw you should tell us what you mean by successful career, for example what is a successful soldier/officer ?

In my opinion women should less demanding charges notice that I didnt say career, regardless their careers they should manage to have room for their families/husbands and children

notice that what has been described here as a career is actually a male dominated job. Women have always been teachers, nurses, doctors business women etc. But notice that these are not seen as career very much.

pembisco:


its not like you don't understand what I mean...so fucccck off my mentions

You are welcome.

This topic again? Too whiny for me. Nobody can have it all.

What if they poison the baby

Emmalot121:
The solutions are extended family and polygamy. Women expectially in the west(muslims) are tapping into the immense freedom these two give. Just imagine you giving birth to a child and after weaning, there are already five people willing to care for the child. You can travel for months because your husband does not depend on your wifely duties. Think about it and give me your reply. Carefreewannabe, cococandy, what's your take? These are simply few of our lost african treasures, which we are consequently feeling the effects. These are the cheap ways to female freedom, which is easily available to you, yet you pay for it under feminism.

There are slight differences between compromise, sacrifice and selflessness.

Foundation in everything we do matters a lot, in fact it is the most important thing in our day-to-day endeavors. Before a man and a woman goes into marriage, they should understand and agree on each other's dreams and aspirations. Let's not forget here that everyone one has a purpose on earth and marriage should not in any way hinder the fulfillment of that purpose but then the two party (i.e. the couple) should understand and agree on that before tieing the knot. Because once the marriage is set up, the wife has to submit to the will of the husband - Biblically.

Then anything that will affect the lives of the innocent children you brought into this world should be avoided - that is where sacrifice and selflessness comes in. Because your career will be nothing, the empire you struggled to build will be destroyed in a jiffy by the children you refuse to sacrifice your time to train and bring up in a Godly manner, you will be too old and helpless to defend your empire or money by the time.

In summary a balance should be struck in everything we do. The best way is to ask God for wisdom because human wisdom will definitely fail in certain circumstances.

cococandy:
I'm sure the man knew who he married before he married her. He saw her love for career but felt he could change her.
Wrong.
There's no way every woman out there will be the baby-birthing-and-nurturing-career-sacrificing kind of person.
I'll advice the men to go for their kind of woman.
If you don't like career women,don't marry one and then turn around to force her to quit her job.
Some women are fine with being stay home moms,some are not.
It's a BIG wide world.

We shouldn't expect everyone to have the same plans and goals for their lives.

if only they would understand it this way

I have come to realize that not everyone was destined to get married, some people have no business with marriage bt force themselves or were forced into it (by parents or the society).

Anyone who ranks his/her career ahead of the marriage, anyone who fails to fulfil his/her primary responsibilities in marriage, anyone who has the mindset of depriving the partner of wateva by every definition should have stayed single and would be better off being single.

Some people evidently refuse to draw the line between bf/gf relationship and marriage.

I also think our parents (the mums) failed in their responsibility of passing on virtues and morals to this generation, and that is echoed in the way most mothers of this age and time reason and act. Compare the way they dress, the way they handle issues, the way they stand with men toe to toe with yester-generation. Its getting out of hand.

^^ uhm... guy above me, everyone has a mind so, mum's didn't fail! kids failed to listen... life revolves, roll along or fall out... lehehehe...

@topic...To each.... His own...

galantjoe:
This issue is not for everyone to comment. It's for real men and women - married. Everyone has aspirations for his/her life, so mariage'ld not thwart them instead encourage it. Most career women make Happy home.

hoax/////// they hardly ever find the balance! as no one can serve two masters satisfactorily, so also, one aspect must always suffer

Yes sure....it all begins and ends with prayer

cococandy:
What if they poison the baby

Actually surprised to get a reply. I think you find great sense in the fact that these two things were what made our mothers industrous cos of the limitless freedom. All things have disadvantages, poisoning of food is everywhere, monogamy is not excluded.Not actually telling you to give your child to your rival, when the waiting hands of grandma is there(part of extended family) to nurture your child. Like I said, so many VIABLE options.