A friend of mine has been dating a guy for the past two and half years, The relationship has been going smoothly, the guy stays in US while she lives in Nigeria but the guy visits once in a year, but they talk on phone and chat online very well.

Recently my friend told to me what has been going on between herself and her boyfriend!

Her crimes are:

She is a virgin and He wants her but she refused due to religious beliefs and also some other known reasons, said she wants to wait till her wedding night. The guy said "Body no be firewood, say he don dey wait for long"

He says she doesn't know how to keep her man, how to make him stay.

He says my friend is a "omo mummy"

The last time they spoke on phone, He told her that he is not coming home this year because he can't come and just be looking at her face, or holding her hands on the streets. He says he wont be calling her frequently like before and to be know how true that is, I called my friend yesterday and she said he hasn't called in two weeks.
He says If my friend want to wait for him, she should wait, that when he comes back home, even if its 5years time, they will get together then.

From time, I sensed that the guy doesn't love my friend, the only thing he held on to was her virginity and now that she said no again, he wants to dump her, what do you think? maybe he has another girl there, all these guys that stay in UK and US, can't be that faithful to their Nigerian girlfriends because They need someone to  warm their bed for them where they are. and they use the ones in Nigeria as MU-MU.

lauradovey:

all these guys that stay in UK and US, can't be that faithful to their Nigerian girlfriends because They need someone to  warm their bed for them where they are. and they use the ones in Nigeria as MU-MU.

This is a hasty generalization. There are many guys abroad who are faithful to their naija girlfriends. I can tell you I live here, and I am faithful to mine. We both know what we want and are willing to pay the price. Now to your topic. On the flip side of the coin, there are many naija girls who use guys abroad as their own mumus also. Some might say they are being faithful and are virgins, but might have someone on the side. It's possible the guy is simply trying to watch out for himself. I feel they should try and talk it over, and if the guy is really serious, then let him make plans to come marry the chick and get it over with. And if he feels the chick is deceiving him and he can't wait, then well let him go find someone else more suitable, pressuring a chick to have sex with you isn't worth it.

Please, tell your friend to stick to what she has been doing if she feels it is best for her, she should not do it just because her boyfriend is being moody on her etc, If he loves her, he will wait

wavemasta:

This is a hasty generalization. There are many guys abroad who are faithful to their naija girlfriends. I can tell you I live here, and I am faithful to mine. We both know what we want and are willing to pay the price. Now to your topic. On the flip side of the coin, there are many naija girls who use guys abroad as their own mumus also. Some might say they are being faithful and are virgins, but might have someone on the side. It's possible the guy is simply trying to watch out for himself. I feel they should try and talk it over, and if the guy is really serious, then let him make plans to come marry the chick and get it over with. And if he feels the chick is deceiving him and he can't wait, then well let him go find someone else more suitable, pressuring a chick to have sex with you isn't worth it.

I concur to your post brother.
In addition to that, i believe if the guy really loves her he will come back for her,else he can go to **** with his useless threats.

hi evry one!
is such a heartfelt stuff ,d guy love her but he seems tht he wnts sex
to test her love life wit him which is not nize.som guy r kinda funny
any way.i used to date a gurl 2 nver ever ask her 4 sex she just jilted me
but we r still friends now.love is not all bout sex is from d heart guys wakeup!

I dated ma girlfriend for 5yrs witout sex n i dont know d colour of her pant.I try forcein her n i found she had not known a man.I was surprice(she told me dat she had slep wit any guy,i didnt belive her)later we broke up cos i started seein anoda girl cos anytime i ask 4 sex i know she wil not give me.We stop seein each other n she kept sentin msg dat she is goin 2 kill me,after 2yrs she called me dat she want 2 come back. Wot do i do?Should i take her back, If she is disflower am not goin 2 take her back. Ma adivse 2 u is dat,if u r not ready dont do!

The pride of most women is in their virginity provided they havnt lost it and i think the lady in question should stick to her words,

I still dont blame the guy cos body no be firewood for real, though he could have handled it better instead of not calling her. I am not an apostle of "premarital sex is bad stuff". If there is every possibility that u guys will end up together, then why not just give in to his demands. The guy has even waited for almost 3 years - Haba

lauradovey:

A friend of mine has been dating a guy for the past two and half years, The relationship has been going smoothly, the guy stays in US while she lives in Nigeria but the guy visits once in a year, but they talk on phone and chat online very well.

Recently my friend told to me what has been going on between herself and her boyfriend!

Her crimes are:

She is a virgin and He wants her but she refused due to religious beliefs and also some other known reasons, said she wants to wait till her wedding night. The guy said "Body no be firewood, say he don dey wait for long"

He says she doesn't know how to keep her man, how to make him stay.

He says my friend is a "omo mummy"

The last time they spoke on phone, He told her that he is not coming home this year because he can't come and just be looking at her face, or holding her hands on the streets. He says he wont be calling her frequently like before and to be know how true that is, I called my friend yesterday and she said he hasn't called in two weeks.
He says If my friend want to wait for him, she should wait, that when he comes back home, even if its 5years time, they will get together then.

From time, I sensed that the guy doesn't love my friend, the only thing he held on to was her virginity and now that she said no again, he wants to dump her, what do you think? maybe he has another girl there, all these guys that stay in UK and US, can't be that faithful to their Nigerian girlfriends because They need someone to  warm their bed for them where they are. and they use the ones in Nigeria as MU-MU.

First of all, how are we sure the guy is faithful to her?
Secondly, all the body no be wood talk is a way of him telling your friend that sex is what he wants. Body no be wood for sure but one can control his body.
Thirdly, all what he's telling her is just him trying to pressure her into sex. Some "smart" guys believe that taunting a woman about being a virgin is a way for them to get what they want. If your friend is strong enough, she won't be swayed easily by all the 'omo mummy' talk. We've heard it all ranging from omo mummy to man tease. Your friend should grow a thick skin cos as a virgin, these words will come her way wayyyyyy too often.
Fourthly, tell your friend to move on. It's obvious as you say that the guy just wants to disvirgin her. It's not as if he didn't know she was a virgin before dating her. He just wants to be the one to share that special connection with her and she doesn't want it yet.
Lastly, the guy is a complete fool. He doesn't know what he has yet. She sounds like a great girl who would be marriage material. Dating such a douchebag in US for almost 3 years shows she was at least committed to making it work.

Your friend and her guy obviously want different things out of their relationship. She shouldn't at all allow him to pressure her into having sex if she doesn't want to. Also, she shouldn't just chill while he does what he wants for 5yrs before he may or may not decide to get together with her after that time. I think she should move on and stop letting this guy put so much pressure and stress on her. Virginity is not a crime at all. She should join the club, we're many even though many are also hiding so people don't think they're too naive. She should look for someone who will respect her and her decisions.

Fox river:

I dated ma girlfriend for 5yrs witout sex n i don't know d colour of her pant.I try forcein her n i found she had not known a man.I was surprice(she told me that she had slep wit any guy,i didnt believe her) later we broke up because i started seein another girl because anytime i ask 4 sex i know she wil not give me.We stop seein each other n she kept sentin msg that she is goin 2 kill me,after 2yrs she called me that she want 2 come back. Wot do i do?Should i take her back, If she is disflower am not goin 2 take her back. Ma adivse 2 u is that,if u r not ready don't do!

Wait what?!? That is absolutely shocking!!! Please o don't force anyone. That's not ok at all.

His friends r puttin him up 2 wot he is doin rite now.I went through dat too.U know guy r ban to talk abt their girlfriend suntime went they r 2gether went drinkin or in a bar.They wil say manytinz,they have done wit their g/f.Went i told ma friends dat i have not slept wit ma g/f.They called me names i was angry wit ma self n ma g/f.Anytin she does got me angry,i stop spendin time wit her.Do u know dat disflowerin a girl is a record all guys want 2 keep! I woundnt blame ur friend guy 4 dat.He had been talkin 2 his friends abt dat n am so sure their anoda girl in his life i can bet on dat, I lost me g/f cos i listen 2 ma friend.Wot a great lost 4 me.I am happy in a way cos she is abt comin back 2 ma life wot a lesson 4 me.

tel ur friend not to change her mind, its a gud tin to keep it till whenever she is ready, she is still gonna meet a guy who is gonna respect her and wait till whenever she is reADY.

tel ur friend not to change her mind, its a good tin to keep it till whenever she is ready, she is still going to meet a guy who is going to respect her and wait till whenever she is reADY.

Pastor, uve started today
u wont go and finish what ure doing

Hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!! amebo, wats ur bizness? oniranu! lol

I dont think the guy needed her just because he knew she is a virgin, at least he has visited her several time and has been calling her,
its true that some guys can't wait if they are really in love.

don't u think the girl is taking this her virgin thing too far does HER HEART BEAT for the guy too .
alot of girls make this mistakes, after all there is limit in keeping virginity, if u know the guy well and both of u ve dated for years what's the need keeping him waiting and waiting
OK She should tell her guy to take her to the alter, BUT she must be sure she is virgin ooo.

i ve seen a muslim couples that got married, the girl claiming she was a virgin and that she will not ve sex befor marriage.
As a nice man, he respected her right and waited but was dissapointed to discover that she was not a virgin after he married her, the man want to divorce her immediatly, the case is in the court.

Na this make me say make she dey sure!!!!!!

@ poster

It is important for your friend to think deeply about her principles and the sacrifices she is willing to make for them. If she wants to remain a virgin until her wedding night, so be it as along as she is willing to stand by her decision and face the consequences.

Truth is, it's difficult for two adults (I am assuming the parties involved are both matured) to date for a long period and not have sex. It takes God and determination on BOTH parties.

However, the safest way to go about this is either to get married, that way both parties get what they want or to end the relationship and put each other out of their misery. If all the guy wants is sex, then he's not worth the worrying over no matter how long they have dated.

Cheers

plappville:

I don't think the guy needed her just because he knew she is a virgin, at least he has visited her several time and has been calling her,
its true that some guys can't wait if they are really in love.

don't u think the girl is taking this her virgin thing too far does HER HEART BEAT for the guy too .
alot of girls make this mistakes, after all there is limit in keeping virginity, if u know the guy well and both of u ve dated for years what's the need keeping him waiting and waiting
OK She should tell her guy to take her to the alter, BUT she must be sure she is virgin ooo.

i ve seen a muslim couples that got married, the girl claiming she was a virgin and that she will not ve sex befor marriage.
As a nice man, he respected her right and waited but was dissapointed to discover that she was not a virgin after he married her, the man want to divorce her immediatly, the case is in the court.

Na this make me say make she dey sure!!!!!!

Thank you jare
i concur

What the heck?
People do take this virginity thing too far. So she has lost him now, shebi her eye has cleared? She should go and eat her virginity na. Shior.

plappville:

I don't think the guy needed her just because he knew she is a virgin, at least he has visited her several time and has been calling her,
its true that some guys can't wait if they are really in love.

don't u think the girl is taking this her virgin thing too far does HER HEART BEAT for the guy too .
alot of girls make this mistakes, after all there is limit in keeping virginity, if u know the guy well and both of u ve dated for years what's the need keeping him waiting and waiting
OK She should tell her guy to take her to the alter, BUT she must be sure she is virgin ooo.

i ve seen a muslim couples that got married, the girl claiming she was a virgin and that she will not ve sex befor marriage.
As a nice man, he respected her right and waited but was dissapointed to discover that she was not a virgin after he married her, the man want to divorce her immediatly, the case is in the court.

Na this make me say make she dey sure!!!!!!

Correct talk

This virginity thing is over-rated if you don't give it to a guy that really likes you chances are 7 times out of 10 you would give it to someone you would regret and would probably rub it in your face for a long time

spikedcylinder:

What the heck?
People do take this virginity thing too far. So she has lost him now, shebi her eye has cleared? She should go and eat her virginity na. Shior.

Nice. . Didn't know girls like this still exist

Fox river:

I dated ma girlfriend for 5yrs witout sex n i don't know d colour of her pant.I try forcein her n i found she had not known a man.I was surprice(she told me that she had slep wit any guy,i didnt believe her)later we broke up because i started seein another girl because anytime i ask 4 sex i know she wil not give me.We stop seein each other n she kept sentin msg that she is goin 2 kill me,after 2yrs she called me that she want 2 come back. Wot do i do?Should i take her back, If she is disflower am not goin 2 take her back. Ma adivse 2 u is that,if u r not ready don't do!

I don't really grab your English but i wouldn't advice you to take her back

yeah body no be fire wood, he doesnt have ANY SELF CONTROL which is why he cant wait.let her dump the bastard and keep it moving, and fox river: u are MAD DUMB --- u want sex
so u go to someone else, but if ur ex isnt a virgin ur not gonna take her back, mutherfuckin HYPOCRIT, are u are VIRGIN? most guys on here are so damn effin stupid , they pray to god for VIRGINS yet they have slept with 25 diff. women.NONSENSE.u stupid fools wont find virgin to marry so dont waste ya damn time. fools

@janeesa, who told you most guy are praying for virgins? Do you know what it takes to deflower a girl? Trust me, I know, it just aint as easy as people think especially when the girl is not a 100% ready. Deflowering a girl is like running up and down the stair exercising. The result is your knees and tighs are sour and will ache for at least three days. I have had about four virgins (not that I'm looking for but they keep coming my way) and my present girl was deflowered by me. I love my girl but the stress she put me through before she was deflowered was too much. If asked to go through it again , HELL NO. I will rather go for a girl that has experience. I think they are better.

@poster, how old is your friend and how sure are you she's still a virgin. Most guys want to deflower their virgin girlfriends for security purpose because if they don't, someone else will and they'd be hating the girl all their life. No be bad thing to sample wetin you wan do "for better for worse for". Check the compatibility!!!

pls tell your girlfriend to keep her virginity,if she can keep it till when she get married,good for her.

belive me or not, the guy got someone else

distance is affecting the relatuionship

he is thinking about caling it off soon

but he wants to get something out of the relationship first

and a good prize for dating a lady 2 yeasr to a guy

will be eating her apple. berra advise your friend

to stick to her vow, even if it means loosing the guy

cos she gonna loose him which eva way.

Well I think if the guy really loves her, then sacrificing sex till he marries her is not too big a thing for him to do. Because lets face it, there's no way the guy has been going without sex all these while. Even if the girl sleeps with him, he'll still sleep with someone else when he gets to his base.

I dont think the girl has done anything wrong in holding on to her virginity

If the guy cannot respect her wishes and wait till they get married, then he's just not worth the stress. And he's even giving her an ultimatum sef

Just reading about the guy, I'm more convinced that if the girl gives in to the pressure, she might regret it for the rest of her life. And for pete's sake why should she even sleep with a guy that's not her husband Just because we all do it dosent make it right . . .

plappville:

I don't think the guy needed her just because he knew she is a virgin, at least he has visited her several time and has been calling her,
its true that some guys can't wait if they are really in love.

[b]don't u think the girl is taking this her virgin thing too far does HER HEART BEAT for the guy too .[/b]alot of girls make this mistakes, after all there is limit in keeping virginity, if u know the guy well and both of u ve dated for years what's the need keeping him waiting and waiting
OK She should tell her guy to take her to the alter, BUT she must be sure she is virgin ooo.

i ve seen a muslim couples that got married, the girl claiming she was a virgin and that she will not ve sex befor marriage.
As a nice man, he respected her right and waited but was dissapointed to discover that she was not a virgin after he married her, the man want to divorce her immediatly, the case is in the court.

Na this make me say make she dey sure!!!!!!

Absolute nonsense.

A girl should lose her virginity simply because of a guy's threat  
She can never regain it once it's lost. So, what happens if they seperate after a few weeks?

I dont like it when some girls ill advise younger girls  

JustGood:

Absolute nonsense.

A girl should lose her virginity simply because of a guy's threat
She can never regain it once it's lost. So, what happens if they seperate after a few weeks?

I don't like it when some girls ill advise younger girls

Oga cool down nawn . , The lady only stated her own opinion, what are you getting worked up over? Girls ill-advicing younger girls? Na wa for you oh! Aint you being a lil bit paranoid

@Everyone

Thanks for your contributions.

My friend is a Virgin, she has always been like that, too religious about virginity, she is always saying pre-marital sex is a sin, blah blah blah, I can tell you she is truly a virgin!

And she is standing on been a virgin till her wedding night, my only concern is she loves this guy too much and she showed him all of it, but the guy doesnt really believe he said Her love is a conditional one ( about refusing being deflowered), He said love is meant to be UNCONDITIONAL

I really don't think, we should allow guys to know the extent of our love!

I have already told my friend to prepare her heart for heartbreak, because It will come soon!

What do you think?

In addition to whatever useful contribution your friend is going to get here, I advice that she keeps the fact of her virginity secret.I recall a case while on campus about a girl whose virginity was known all over campus. Anyway, she got raped by some who couldnt take their minds off her. That too was public knowledge.Sad.

lauradovey:

@Everyone

Thanks for your contributions.

My friend is a Virgin, she has always been like that, too religious about virginity, she is always saying pre-marital sex is a sin, blah blah blah, I can tell you she is truly a virgin!

And she is standing on been a virgin till her wedding night, my only concern is she loves this guy too much and she showed him all of it, but the guy doesnt really believe he said Her love is a conditional one ( about refusing being deflowered), He said love is meant to be UNCONDITIONAL

I really don't think, we should allow guys to know the extent of our love!

I have already told my friend to prepare her heart for heartbreak, because It will come soon!

What do you think?

My friend is a Virgin, she has always been like that, too religious about virginity, she is always saying pre-marital sex is a sin, blah blah blah, I can tell you she is truly a virgin!

Since she is religious, let her put this whole thing in prayers and stop worrying herself, let her stop worrying that her guy will leave her simply because she refused him after all if the guy cannot wait maybe someone else can wait.

@ poster,
how do you know that the guy doesn't love your friend any longer?
your friend should know that ' person body no bi firewood' , that for
one day it must surely catch fire.
It's not a crime to maintain virginity, if truely they both had believd in themselves to
get married for one, she should have given the guy a single opportunity to enjoy
his what he thinks to be his future hope after being paying alot of transport back
home just because of her.
The guy tried well well. the girl would have considered that.

Is no crime.

pwease weave the gyal, if dhatz wt she wans!

@Topic

No it's not.

@lauradovey

Here is the deal, tell your girl I said congratulations for keeping her virginity, it is good thing she did. that alone

commands respect from guys even though they don't say it out. Now tell to still maintain the virginity and not give the

guy a chance until they get married. Even the guy is really in love he will wait and if not leave. It is a two way result.

All this lies on the fact that truly she is a virgin and not pretending or faking it.

If he allows herself to be f*cked by the guy, then she becomes a f*cking fucker who will at the end of the day be f*cked

because guys don't f*ck with f*cking f*cked up f*ckers.

her DIGNITY is her VIRGINITY, she must not loose it a in a shameless manner. Having it makes her better

than a lot of the female folks on Nairaland.