thats why I hardly come here anymore, before i came here to get my laughs on, these days,

comechop:

Nairaland is seriously becoming anti-religious esp. anti-christianity more n more everyday,

In as much as anti- religious and anti -christian opinions are expressed on this forum i would like to say that this forum is very enlightening and a lot of truths are being shared. A lot of people don't really know or understand the faith they profess. As far as this topic is concerned, it is not anti -christian. Critisizng a pastor for doing what is obviously wrong is definitely not anti -christian

na wa to you all. What i know is that members of any church respects their pastors more than their parents ( stamp and sealed ). Especially women who even respects their pastors more than their husbands.

KunleOshob:

In as much as anti- religious and anti -christian opinions are expressed on this forum i would like to say that this forum is very enlightening and a lot of truths are being shared. A lot of people don't really know or understand the faith they profess. As far as this topic is concerned, it is not anti -christian. Critisizng a pastor for doing what is obviously wrong is definitely not anti -christian

Hmmmm i'm still trying to see where I wrote that this topic was anti-christian. I was just making a general statement. And are you new on this forum? I dont think so, but its strange cos I had your exact same thought pattern when I first started here,

@Poster, you are an adult, and the architect of your life. Yes God gave it to you, but he made you a steward over your own life. Its what you permit that will happen.
If you feel this pastor is taking advantage of you, then do something. i.e leave. The sky will not fall on your head. Do not allow yourself to be emotionally blackmailed by
doctrines and such, and twisting of the bible to suit peoples own selfish needs.
You can always start your childrens ministry somewhere else, and God can always use you anywhere. But if you choose to stay in that situation, well, you are the one permitting it
to happen.

Hope I dont sound harsh. I just don't like people taking advantage of others, esp in the name of religion, so it gets me riled sometimes.

God is love.

If you are not comfortable with the pastor's life or attitude, why don't you find another worshipping centre?

The first thing is that you must Love the Lord God (not your pastor) with all your heart and the next is that you must honour your parents otherwise you may die young. The bible says Love your neighbour as YOURSELF. Note the word yourself; if you love yourself your studies will be important. Does God want you to excel in your studies, ABSOLUTELY. The Bible talks about moderation, balance activities in church against the other areas of your life.

Do you still have time to pray to God and spend quality time with him, which is more important than 'church work'. I am not saying do not be available, because someone needs to do the work but it must be shared amongst several people or they employ people to do it.

I have had some experience of this sort in the past. It does not only affect students, sometimes even marriages may nearly be wrecked because of this kind of issue.

I responded to an article on Nairaland a while back and said that I had unforgiveness in my heart; it was because my husband was following Pastor everywhere to the detriment of his family, my marriage nearly collapsed, but thank God he has resolved that in my home.

From my experience 2 things will happen, you will either leave Church or quarrel BIG STYLE with your pastor. It happened to me.

My advice will be to talk to God about it without any ill feelings towards your pastor. I did and I tell u within 3 days the matter was resolved. I will advice you to be firm as well, tell the Pastor No when you mean No and don’t feel guilty as long as GOD does not condemn you.

You see when I went through this interesting episode of mine, I started to question a lot of attitudes and behaviour in the church, my sister, there is Nigerian Christianity and there is Christianity. A lot of things in our churches are  just tradition, when u attend ‘oyinbo’ churches it is not like that. I have also seen Redeeemed churches (including the one I now go to) that are very organised and no one person is saddled with unneccessary responsibilties, everything works like clock work and the people in the church are so happy that it shows.

Do not forget that Jesus washed the feet of his disciples; he did this to lead by example. If you look in the bible, work was divided and not just put on the shoulders of one person. U remember the story of Martha, who was cooking when others were listening to Jesus, go and read the bible and see the answer Jesus gave her.

Have you heard of the term ‘Spiritual Abuse’; this is happening in the church a lot.

Make sure you do what you have been assigned in your department to the best of your ability and any other thing you should ask the Holy Spirit whether u should do it, you know the bible says God loves a cheerful giver, anything you give to God by force he does not like.

Do not complain or gossip about your pastor, this is extremely important. Even if your pastor is wrong, God will judge you for it. If you feel it is too much for you to handle, ask God whether you should leave the church because it is better than to imbibe the spirit of 'Absalom'.

Also, the advice of your parents is very important.

@poster

Then find another church. I really don't see the point serving God in a place where you are not truly happy.

''In the presence of the Lord there is fullness of joy".

''I was glad when they said let us go into the house of the Lord''.

If you cannot honestly make these statements anymore, why deceive yourself? It doesn't mean you are blaspheming God or something. If your pastor/church cannot be considerate, what are you doing there? They are supposed to be your second family. The reason you are in the UK in the first place is to study. Want to end up wasting your parents' money?

You love the Lord, yeah, but even the Bible says ''wisdom is the principal thing''. Emotional/ Spiritual blackmail isn't something Jesus would approve of, that I know.

Your pastor is a man like your father! One of the Ten Commandment says Honour your parents so that your days will be long on earth, Did you read "honour your pastor" in your own bible?? don't get me wrong here, i am not asking you to be rude to him or something but i think you shouldn't go against your own wish to satisfy your pastor's and must not disregard your parents because the pastor wants to mould you in his own style. Ok got a question to ask, do you scedule your daily activities or he does it for you? please think, you can't be charged to court for this, talk to God and your parent about it. God bless.

Thanks sholeyb, appreciate ur comment.
@ Cristalz, I'm thinking about leaving but I want to pray to God about it and hear what God says cuz I'm not happy going dere.
@Unleashed, ur funny, how can pastor plan my daily schedules? I'm sure he's not that bad, he's a spirit filled man when he comes to preaching, he's fantastic.

@funkilicious

What's wrong with you? Who told you all those church work/activities will take you to heaven? Church work should be voluntary, not dandan/tipatipa (i.e. not by force). You better face your studies and forget all these nonsense. Do not do things that you will look back and regret in years to come o!

simple english, follow wat ur parents say.

plus u know wat right already. u've made the first move by questioning his actions. if he thinks u r disrespectful, respect is a two-way street. all that having ppl stand at the door and having them stop u/people from leaving is simply kidnap (holding u against ur wish), yes he is the church pastor but he sure has blood running in his veins and sure goes to bed at nite as well.

maibe i just dont like being cheated, i'll allow it till i blow a fuse and girl u have blown a fuse.

damola1:


God is love.

If you are not comfortable with the pastor's life or attitude, why don't you find another worshipping centre?

[size=14pt]Short and simple (according to my papa of blessed memory)[/size]

Even here on Nairaland, they don't obey me. The only confirmed Pastor on this site.

Obey your parents and Pastors.

I'm the Pastor here, so i must be obeyed.

well i think this is a simple matter. the bible states clearly ' children obey your parents in the Lord for this is RIGHT.' moreso the primary reason why you are in the UK is to study. it is very important you obey your pastor anyway, but if he tells you to take his advice over that of your parents, then there is a problem.
i have a friend who refused to get married to suitors because her pastors in her fellowship in the university told her not to until they tell her to.
am sure you don't want to know her story ended, well she is still single and seriously searching, constantly filling the front chair in any church that invites her and worse case is that she just clocked 33 yrs. 2months ago while all the pastors who advised her not to get married that time are all married now with kids.
this may sound like a different story but i think it does ring a bell.

@ Poll, if they are in conflict, obey whoever is more in line with God's word concerning the conflict.

And if they both are (or seem to be to you), then it's your call. Do what feels most comfortable to your conscience.

every human has a conciense, so we all know good from bad!!!!

@ poster,
The main question you should have asked urself is,wheather the work you are doing for the pastor is to the glory of God.In your case i would say no coz you do all these grudges at the back of your mind.Actually not becoz you choosed to,but becoz u do them against ur will,even when it conflict with ur studies or when it's not convienent for you. You force youself to do it jst to obey or please the pastor.In this case you are pleasing the pastor and not God.
Only that sometimes even the Nigerian pastors choosed to bring in that Nigerian mentality in us even to God's work.If not how would a real man of God force you to do something for God not even for him as a man of God.Gods work should be a voluntrily work and not by force,coz when you are being forced to do it you definitely do it with grudges as such dos'nt give glory unto God anymore.
So my advice for you is to say yes to the one you heart ask you to and capital NO to the one your heart says no.
Pls pastor am sorry i cant do this for you at the moment.I no dey cause whala. Abi na the church dey sponsor your studies?

Thank u guys.
@ Neduogu, I'd love to know the end of the story

@funkilicious
sorry if you feel slighted but I didn't mean to slight you when I asked if you were born again.I just noticed your desire to serve and continue serving in church,that was why I asked.you very well know that people who hold offices/positions in church without having a place in God's records are only working for themselves as they have no reward from God.That was why I asked.Well,since you believe you can't talk to your pastor and yet hold to it that he is a man of God, then I think at least you owe him or the church the duty of helping him as a brother by reporting him to his superiors.I'm not too familiar with your denomination's authority delegation,but I want to believe that your headquarters in lagos should be able to call him to order if you present your case to them rightly.Maybe you're scared of persecution that may follow as a result but I think you said they're children of God and annointed,so they should behave like children of God and repent where needs be.B T W, every christian should be bold as God hasn't given us the Spirit of fear,there should be no cringing from persecution.Anyways, just my advice.Please I'm not forcing it on you.

@ALL

The pastor life dey better; the people dey suffer

Pastor has started telling me to do things without been considerate if I have uni work and I'm always on the defensive side even if i don't have work to do becauuse of what happened to my boyfriend and other youth in church and he doesn't like it, he said i'm disobeying Jesus's servant but I don't want to do disobey God.

How can you serve God and not your pastor? I still don't know the difference since pastor says he is the servant of God and Jesus's lives in him.



I am not bringing down the Pastors in anyway. But there was a case in Nigeria where some Pastors from the same Redeem stole some amounts of money,now tell me these same set of Pastors would call themselves servant of God also. Please pray for God's guidance and remember God doesn't want you to start something and not finish it.So pls face your studies and if the Pastor is proving to hard(may God forgive me) find another Church that {roclaims Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour.

@topic
If you, being a christian, fail at your schoolwork, then you'll be causing more disgrace to the christian faith than an unswept church
Even the Bible says give unto Caesar what is Caesers, the fact that you want to do God's work does not mean you should leave you books

And remember, if you're not happy with what you're doing, you're losing on both ends

Yes, he's a Pastor, but he's human . . . you need to walk up to him and explain to him (after praying that is) with wisdom, if he's a man of God, he'll understand

@Funkilicious

Pastors must be considerate.

Pastors may be "Godly-Father-figure" but they are not Almighty God.

In England, i very much doubt if any African church will place his Pastor on £50k a year after the continous problems with Charity commission. Ask Pastor Matthew Ashimolowo.

Even the Redeem's Agu Irukwu wont get that kind of a money. Its on record that RCCG dont pay good money but they have a lot of income coming in.

@ Funkilicious,

I think u should let ur conscience guide and direct u like Tosin said,

I mean u definitely know right from wrong so its up to u to make the final decision in the long run,



Good luck to ya.

my people and god. When will we learn that religion is man made. All these talk of God`s work, teachings and the bible is just men trying to impose their will on others. Think about it, as Nigeria goes down the churches get bigger and richer. Religion is the opium of the poor. Archbishop na enjoyment, Imamu na gbaladun. Reason my people, too much religion is part of the Nigerian problem.Instead of looking for practical solutions to our problems, we seek the easy option of looking for divine intervention. Ur are a good example, instead of putting all your effort into your studies so as to improve your chances of getting a good job, no ur rather go to church and serve another man that claim to be God`s representative on earth. The people that brought this religion to Nigeria, spend most of their time on scientific research so that we can all have a better life(practical solution) while we spend hours and hours praying for a miracle(divine intervention)  Just  like how   we pray in Nigeria for a safe journey before travelling to another city because the roads are so bad, whereas In the Western world they make sure the roads are good  and safe to travel on.

okunoba:

my people and god. When will we learn that religion is man made. All these talk of God`s work, teachings and the bible is just men trying to impose their will on others. Think about it, as Nigeria goes down the churches get bigger and richer. Religion is the opium of the poor. Archbishop na enjoyment, Imamu na gbaladun. Reason my people, too much religion is part of the Nigerian problem.Instead of looking for practical solutions to our problems, we seek the easy option of looking for divine intervention. Ur are a good example, instead of putting all your effort into your studies so as to improve your chances of getting a good job, no ur rather go to church and serve another man that claim to be God`s representative on earth. The people that brought this religion to Nigeria, spend most of their time on scientific research so that we can all have a better life(practical solution) while we spend hours and hours praying for a miracle(divine intervention) Just like how we pray in Nigeria for a safe journey before travelling to another city because the roads are so bad, whereas In the Western world they make sure the roads are good and safe to travel on.

Well, em

There is a big difference between religion and "having relationship with christ through Jesus christ"

The Poster do not go to church to serve Man but God.

Having relationship with God have nothing to do with 3rd world or western countries.

FYI, Gordon Brown was raised in mission house as his Dad is a Clergyman and he himself is a christian, The Pioneer of UK's Boot chemist is a Christian to the very Core and many many like that.

poster please choode your answer from here,

what will you do ,if your pastor ask you to kill your self and your parents says know dont,


any one you choose will be your answer.

"Well,  em

There is a big difference between religion and "having relationship with Christ through Jesus Christ"

The Poster do not go to church to serve Man but God.

Having relationship with God have nothing to do with 3rd world or western countries.

FYI, Gordon Brown was raised in mission house as his Dad is a Clergyman and he himself is a Christian, The Pioneer of UK's Boot chemist is a Christian to the very Core and many many like that"


Akolawole,
Christianity is a religion and they believe in Jesus Christ. Having a relationship with Christ is all in the mind, an escapism from reality. I don`t care where Brown went to school or what his dad does for a living especially when he had no choice in these matters.  We all know he tries to solve the problems facing the UK through practical solutions not by going to church,  prayers and your so called illusory relationship with Jesus. Churches are built by men to serve their wants and needs. God is everywhere we do not need to go to church to communicate with him. Who told u we have to go to some building to serve god?Humans like me and u did. My writing was about taking practical steps to deal with issues instead of spending so much time going to church. I know I am only talking to a brick wall, as so many Nigerians are  brainwashed by religion they find it hard to be analytical or to reason.  The Bible is the answer to all their problems.

okunoba:

"Well, em

There is a big difference between religion and "having relationship with Christ through Jesus Christ"

The Poster do not go to church to serve Man but God.

Having relationship with God have nothing to do with 3rd world or western countries.

FYI, Gordon Brown was raised in mission house as his Dad is a Clergyman and he himself is a Christian, The Pioneer of UK's Boot chemist is a Christian to the very Core and many many like that"


Akolawole,
Christianity is a religion and they believe in Jesus Christ. Having a relationship with Christ is all in the mind, an escapism from reality. I don`t care where Brown went to school or what his dad does for a living especially when he had no choice in these matters. We all know he tries to solve the problems facing the UK through practical solutions not by going to church, prayers and your so called illusory relationship with Jesus. Churches are built by men to serve their wants and needs. God is everywhere we do not need to go to church to communicate with him. Who told u we have to go to some building to serve god?Humans like me and u did. My writing was about taking practical steps to deal with issues instead of spending so much time going to church. I know I am only talking to a brick wall, as so many Nigerians are brainwashed by religion they find it hard to be analytical or to reason. The Bible is the answer to all their problems.

My guy i would have seen some reason in you words, depending on how our Nigerians uphold this christain faith more the westerner that brought the christainity.Ay the same time i think you gone too far or out of point.Religion is a believe and i tell wht ever you believe on works for you.Even when Nigeria was at its best peoples believes still exits. They never believed that their gods can answer them from home that why they made a separate place for their gods called shrine,were they could better communicate with their gods.The same thing applicable to christain,muslims or wht ever.

@poster
I say NO. One of the commandments says you should honour your father and your mother so that your days may be long.
And bible says you must respect the constituted authority any where be church, community, association etc.
But in this case I strongly believe that pastors are human and they do some things in flesh. So ask for wisdom of God in handling that very issue.
So I'm not saying you should run away from the man, but apply wisdom.
You are sent their to acquire knowledge and nothing bad in serving God, but God sent you there to flourish, so endeavour to take your education as no 1 and others follows.

Be aware of one thing. Your Pastor is a man. An ordinary man just like your boyfriend.
The only difference is he's in a position of authority, which he's using to his own advantage.
He's able to get away with it because the mother church has bestowed on him all the advantages, while ordinary cretins like you are to be seen, used and not heard. Any attempt to speak up will earn you opprobrium and a lot of embarrsssment. You could even be called a satanic agent on assignment to distabilise the church by confronting the man of God.
I know, because my mum passed through something similar. A 56year old woman going to do laundry for her church Pastor all in the name of Divine obedience!

So, what I would advise is
1. Don't confront him. You can never win as he holds all the aces.
2. Don't do anything you don't have a mind to do. He can never force you. At worst, he may threaten you with excommunication. Fine.
3. Remember he's just a man. He may have the spirit of God, but then so do you. Do not let anyone use the Bible to confuse you.
4. Strive to stand right with God. If your spirit is clear before God, then you have no problem.

Peace

i concur

in addition to this, you can always have another pastor but not another parent