^^

I had to lol at gorilla voice.

I tried picturing the lady feeding and cooking while the husband is watching TV

How to Appreciate the Efforts of Your Wife - Shaykh 'Abdur-Razzaaq Al-Badr


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8Qer3fsMTY

Questions for Muslim singles

What are your current thoughts about getting married in this day and age? Do you think its worth it? Are you open to the idea?

What are your fears about marriage?

Mofpearl:
Questions for Muslim singles

What are your current thoughts about getting married in this day and age? Do you think its worth it? Are you open to the idea?

What are your fears about marriage?

Going by islamic judgement alone, there is no excuse except for excuses given by Allah and His messanger(SAW). However, govt institutions, especially in Western world make it difficult for serious minded people to get married. They prefer "baby father/ baby mama" status to avoid being "duped" by either party. Recent breakup btw Janet Jackson and her Arab husband is a typical example.

I think of marriage alot and I want to do it as soon as possible. But I'm still a student. Although almost done with university.

So that's what's keeping me from it.
But insha Allah. Once I'm done, I'm getting married.
My parents are talking about masters immediately after uni. But i want todo it with my wife by my side.

Already i have a small business on the side.

Anyway may Allah grant us/ make us righteous spouses

Mofpearl:
Questions for Muslim singles

What are your current thoughts about getting married in this day and age? Do you think its worth it? Are you open to the idea?

What are your fears about marriage?

I easily get put off by people.

I have an almost bad roommate situation. As in, I'm not good sharing a room with someone.
Plus, sometimes i get tired of people i see day in day out. And I'm afraid that issue will still be there when i get married

Marriage goes a longway, I'm yet to find the right one,I put my fears and prayers before Allah.Allah knows best

muminatmustapha:
Marriage goes a longway, I'm yet to find the right one,I put my fears and prayers before Allah.Allah knows best

Criteria for "the right one"?

AbdelKabir:


Criteria for "the right one"?

"smiles" my dear brother, when d right one comes Allah will direct him to my path

EmmGee:

I easily get put off by people.

I have an almost bad roommate situation. As in, I'm not good sharing a room with someone.
Plus, sometimes i get tired of people i see day in day out. And I'm afraid that issue will still be there when i get married

You and your spouse can stay in different rooms.

muminatmustapha:
"smiles" my dear brother, when d right one comes Allah will direct him to my path

When you said "I'm yet.to find....." It suggests you've not seen anyone that meets what you are looking for and that's why I've asked that question..... But its OK tho....

AbdelKabir:


When you said "I'm yet.to find....." It suggests you've not seen anyone that meets what you are looking for and that's why I've asked that question..... But its OK tho....

Yes I said so earlier...well its a normal criteria any lady wld wish for, things like his religion,education, family and stuffs like that...

AbdelKabir:


When you said "I'm yet.to find....." It suggests you've not seen anyone that meets what you are looking for and that's why I've asked that question..... But its OK tho....

Yes I said so earlier...well its a normal criteria any lady wld wish for, things like his religion,education, family...stuffs like dat

You have really said it all.

Mofpearl:
There are some cases where both parents work and its up to the job of the nanny to raise the child. Picture this-

Nanny wakes kids, prepare their meals and takes them to school with driver. Nanny picks child up from school, listens to report from teacher, again cooks and serves child. The tutor or sometimes nanny does the homework with the child. Mum comes home from work the last thing on her mind is to listen to the child talk about his/her day or play with them. So she give the child a tablet or phone and lets him/her watch TV.

Children especially at a young age need their parents. If not, they get their values from other people. The child is closer to the nanny than the mum, the child gets his/her values from the nanny and sometimes even take the religion of the nanny * this actually happens*

Or let's say the mum stays at home and the dad works all the time. The kids don't know anything about their dad except that he's the person to ask for money. If you need money, dad will pay. That's the role the dad plays. If a dad isn't there for his kids when they are young, its a lot harder to change that when they are older.


The issue isn't about working or not working. Sometimes a mum stays at home and the nanny is the one raising the kids. At the same time, there are children there are parents who work and still raise their children. Its an issue of prioritizing and accepting the responsibility to raise children.

At the end of the day money doesn't buy a healthy family relationship. Money doesn't buy a child's love or respect. Money doesn't buy emotional bonds.

Have her own personal savings as well as can dip into the husband's coffers everytime she's in need. Most men don't appreciate full housewives tho.

Mofpearl:
One last thing.

Housewives are extremely underappreciated. When I stayed home during the holiday, I tried to do more house chores, cook, play games and do homework with my siblings. It was exhausting. Before completing one task, you realize its time to start another. Before you are done cleaning, you realize its almost time for the kids to come back from school so you have to start cooking. So husbands should appreciate their stay at home wives. Additionally, they should them monthly allowances.

Really, a stay at home wife does a lot to keep the family running and it only fair to give her an allowance for her personal keeping- not just money to go to the market and buy foodstuff. She should have her own personal savings as well. She has her own needs and wants. Its sad that a woman asks her husband for money to buy something as little as sanitary pad. Later if she starts working, the husband would be the first to complain that it's affecting the family.

Women should also know that they can demand a monthly allowance as part of the marriage contract.

EACH WIFE IS ENTITLED TO HER OWN LIVING QUARTERS.

The questioner (sister) mentions, if a man takes a second wife, she knows that he has to provide a house for each wife. But, it is not clear to me if it has to be a separate house or a separate room in the same apartment?

Shaykh ‘Ubayd Al-Jabiree (hafidhahullaah) answered: He said Oh my daughter, every single wife whether it is the first, the second, the third or the fourth wife, she has a right upon her husband to give her, her own living quarters, and this is a house. This is according to the Sharee’ah.

That house, that is according to the customs of the people and the condition and situation of the man. The Shaykh said for example, a man who lives in a city, then usually, people who live in cities live in apartments and often those people are those who can provide a separate house completely. A completely separate house.

The shaykh said the intent here is that he should not; he should not put both wives in one house. It is not permissible to put both wives in one house except if they agree. Except if they, both wives agree to live in the same house. They have separate rooms then it is ok. But he should not put both wives in one house.

Shaykh Rabee Bin Haadi Al-Madkhali said:

'If you proposed to a woman then be Noble and teach her nobility and beautiful mannerisms, and do not teach her to fall into evil during the proposal.

Teach her honour and nobility, elegance, and do not serenade her over the phone or in other way and hasten with getting married.

Then afterwards if she marries you, then serenade her and do everything with her, which Allaah has allowed you.'

[Taken From: 'Marhab Yahya Talib Al-Ilm', p.348 | Miraath Publications]

EmmGee:

I easily get put off by people.

I have an almost bad roommate situation. As in, I'm not good sharing a room with someone.
Plus, sometimes i get tired of people i see day in day out. And I'm afraid that issue will still be there when i get married

Salam alaiku. Let me quickly makes a suggestion to helping in overcome this misconception of ''love'' (when i say love, i don't mean towards opposite sex. It could be anybody/anything). Knowing that it's impossible to truly understand another without making room for that person within yourself. Making of this room requires discipline and ''cathecting. Cathecting is the process by which any person or an object becomes important to us.
Doing this, I will recommend you raring a pet...those that are under the tenet of Islam. Make the tendering of the pet your sole responsibility. I belief doing this will open you up to be more accommodating

Happy Eid Celebration my dear brothers and sister
Salam alaiku

b03liberty:
Salam alaiku. Let me quickly makes a suggestion to helping in overcome this misconception of ''love'' (when i say love, i don't mean towards opposite sex. It could be anybody/anything). Knowing that it's impossible to truly understand another without making room for that person within yourself. Making of this room requires discipline and ''cathecting. Cathecting is the process by which any person or an object becomes important to us.
Doing this, I will recommend you raring a pet...those that are under the tenet of Islam. Make the tendering of the pet your sole responsibility. I belief doing this will open you up to be more accommodating

Wa alaikum salaam.
The pet issue is a no no.. i can't think of an animal that i could use as such.
I like cats (or i think i do) i look at cat pictures and admire them. But honestly they freak me out.
Birds? I like them, i like them too but not to the level of making it a pet.
I HATE dogs, plus they're haram.

Anyway i think if i find a girl i truly love, i won't get "tired" of her.
Plus, with the roommate ish. I found a solution.

Insha Allaah very soon......

May Allah make it easy for you

Was not sure where to share this;

*I READ THIS ARTICLE AND FELT TO SHARE IT FOR ITS MESSAGE FOR I AND YOU.*

*MARRIAGE IS HARD WORK! !!!!!!*

I used to interpret the saying *"Marriage is not for small boys and girls"* to mean small boys and girls in terms of age, until I visited a female mentor that has been in marriage for 47 years.

*I asked, so what is the secret of your over 47 years in marriage?*

Beaming, she retorted; My son, the expectations you bring into marriage will either spell its doom or success.

*I married my husband without expectations of enjoying his money or buying cars for me, but with time, my patience, hard work and God-fearing attitude yielded results of getting cars, houses, taking care of our children and all that.*

You see, if a married lady keeps on *nagging in the house,* she pushes the spirit of her husband from the home. *If you make the man unhappy, you make the house uncomfortable.*

*So, I married without high expectations from my husband but simply to make him happy always.*

Yes, for the past 47 years, I would be the first to get up from bed and the last to go back to bed. I bath the kids, do devotions with them, prepare breakfast for my husband and boil hot water for him to bath. I iron his clothes he would take to work, kiss him and wish him the best in his daily endeavours.

*I asked my old woman, so then what does the man do in return?*

She laughed all heart and hearty and replied; You see, this is the mistake you young ones make in marriage.
*YOU DO SOMETHING TO YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE AND EXPECT SAME REWARD FROM HIM OR HER, THIS IS WRONG!*

*When it becomes your attitude to always please your husband or wife,* the other person responds naturally. Indeed, if nothing touches the palm tree, it doesn't rattle.

She continued, my son, *never carry how rich or poor or knowledgeable of your family is into marriage. After all, you knew very well the status of your family and decided to marry that man or woman.*

*Love only compels would- be couples into marriage but it doesn't sustain marriage.* Rather, understanding, patience, communication and most importantly, forgiveness sustain every marriage. *High expectations are the symptoms of divorce in marriages.*

Sometimes you hear, I want to marry a mother, a business partner, God fearing person etc. *You can't get all your expectations in one person.* With time and depending on your relationship, you may get some. *So minimise your expectations in marriage.*

To cut the long story short, as too much cook spoil the broth, *she concluded on the mistakes couple should resist at all cost in marriage:*

1) Never say you have made your wife or husband somebody from a nobody. It hurts. God only use you as an agent for transformation, give the glory to God.

2) Let the man be head financially, emotionally,
physically and spiritually, whilst the woman exercise diligence in the use of the tongue.

3) Children are not the ultimate in marriage. They are given to enhance your marriage. When Allaah delays in giving you a child, have every reason to live a happy marital life.

There has never been any automatic barrenness in a person. Prophet Ibrahim got Prophet Ismail at age 86 but at age 100 and 90, they eventually got their Isiaq. Isiaq had a barren family for 20 years but eventually got his twins; Ya'qub and Ilyaas etc.

4) Sex is a major morale booster after a hard day's stressful life. Try to be sexual beings and not "Angels" in that marriage

5) Resort to Allaah Subuhanahu wa Ta'ala often and less to men to solve your marital disputes.

6) Let the women " Make up" their characters much more than they make up their body.

Indeed, marriage is not for small boys or girls because struggle to forgive, demand everything speedily, lack the patience to wait, have so many friends etc.

Make every effort to let that marriage work and may Allaah Subuhanahu wa Ta'ala help us.

*NOTE all said and inculcate them in your daily MATRIMONIAL HOME.*

AbdelKabir:
Was not sure where to share this;

Jazaak Allahu khayran for this....make i send am to my wife and Friends.

Thought it might be beneficial to post this here.

Question:

If a man makes a proposal of marriage to a young woman, is it obligatory for him to see her? Also, is it correct for the young woman to uncover her hair and to reveal her beauty more for her fiancé? Advise us, and may Allaah benefit you.
Answer:

There is no objection, but it is not obligatory. Rather, it is preferred for him to see her, and for her to see him. This is because the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi was salaam ordered the suitor to look at her, because that is more likely to produce harmony between them, so if she uncovers her face, hands and head for him, there is no objection, according to the most correct opinion.
Some of the scholars said that it is sufficient for him to see her face and hands, but the most correct opinion is that there is no objection to him seeing her head, face, hands and feet, according to the aforementioned Hadeeth. But it is not permissible for him to do so, while being alone with her; rather, her father, her brother or another must be present with her. This is because the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi was salaam said:

‘A man may not be secluded with a woman except with a Mahram.’ Muslim no. 1341

He sallallaahu alayhi was salaam also said:

‘A man should not be alone with a woman, for verily Satan makes a third.’ At-Tirmithi no. 2165 and Ahmad 1/18.

Narrated by Imaam Muslim with an authentic chain of narrators, on the authority of ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him.

Shaykh `Abdul-`Azeez Bin Baz

*I am not sure about uncovering the hair though (my opinion). I've always thought there was no need for that (if marrying from the same race).

Our people still dey here, yet no single testimony so far. Biko nurse Zein, how market? Ó lágbára ó!

Muslims are single probably because they haven't got a muslimah for themselves that can perfectly fit as their missing half. imagine a situation wherein all the ladies that surrounds you are Christians and you don't seem to have a clue as to where to find your rightful muslimah....just praying Allah leads mine to my path, tirelessly hoping to see her soonest if Allah wills.

habdulafeez:
Muslims are single probably because they haven't got a muslimah for themselves that can perfectly fit as their missing half. imagine a situation wherein all the ladies that surrounds you are Christians and you don't seem to have a clue as to where to find your rightful muslimah....just praying Allah leads mine to my path, tirelessly hoping to see her soonest if Allah wills.

May Allah provide you with a good muslimah that wud help to strengthen your deen

Hydris:

May Allah provide you with a good muslimah that wud help to strengthen your deen

...and you too o.

Hydris:

May Allah provide you with a good muslimah that wud help to strengthen your deen

Allahumo Amin. thanks bro