why do so many women stay in abusive relationships/marriage even to the point of death?
after being slaped, beating, called names, and other ugly things why can't they just pack their things and leave?
afterall, all it takes for the men is just 6months to remarry another lucky lady soon going to be abused, while the other one is dead
it reallys pains me to see women go through abusive in their relationships/marriage all in the name of being and staying married
so what says you?

so how does packing ur bag and baggage resolve the problem? dont me wrong, i dont subscribe to any form of violence but i also do not think leaving the relationship will make it any better.

staying and keeping a relationship/marriage no be small matter ooo. alot of work and perseverance goes into it. unless u wan join statisitcs

I cant stay oh, I dont want to have a watery grave, Scott Peterson Anyone?

Because they blv they are in love

I know how you feel. I used to get upset about that a lot too but I have talked to a lot of women going through this and by the time they finally accept that the abuse is a bad thing and they should not deal with it, they are already so broken down emotionally and mentally that they feel like they do not have what it takes to make it on thier own. Abuse in marriage is the worst thing someone can go through and I agree that the first time he pushes you or shoves you, you better have a plan B because it will only get worse. Plan your exit so that by the time he graduates to using a stick or a club on your head, you are financially ready to break free.

Outstrip:

I know how you feel. I used to get upset about that a lot too but I have talked to a lot of women going through this and by the time they finally accept that the abuse is a bad thing and they should not deal with it, they are already so broken down emotionally and mentally that they feel like they do not have what it takes to make it on their own. Abuse in marriage is the worst thing someone can go through and I agree that the first time he pushes you or shoves you, you better have a plan B because it will only get worse. Plan your exit so that by the ti
me he graduates to using a stick or a club on your head, you are financially ready to break free.

i had a friend who was in abusive marriage, her husband was abusive both physically and emotionally, everyday she had scars, and the worst path is that when u ask her what happened to her she always denies it, one of her excuse is oh is nothing i just fell from the stairs or similar excuse. every attempt was made to get her out, but she remained and her husband finally beat to death, she died and after 6 months the husband remarried, citing he cant stay alone. now who is the loser? if only she listened to her family and friends and moved on as easily as her husband did when she died.

It's not only about love. . . .it's because they don't know what to do or they're helpless.
A loving mother would do anything to protect her child.
If her husband is abusive to her, yet her children loves their dad, she would endure the beating to avoid a broken family.

Another scenario:
She is jobless, helpless, and depends on him.
If she leaves him, where will she go? Who will provide for her?

Some abused women out there are really not stupid or ignorant. They just simply can't live without their abuser.

An illegal immigrant will rather stay abused than report her host to the police.


Why stay?
Fear, helplessness, dependent, history of abuse etc

~smurf:

I can't stay oh, I don't want to have a watery grave, Scott Peterson Anyone?

i can't stay, is either i leave or he leaves or someone is going to die of rat poisoning

I dunno.

Ebony-Silk:

It's not only about love. . . .it's because they don't know what to do or they're helpless.
A loving mother would do anything to protect her child.
If her husband is abusive to her, yet her children loves their dad, she would endure the beating to avoid a broken family.

Another scenario:
She is jobless, helpless, and depends on him.
If she leaves him, where will she go? Who will provide for her?

Some abused women out there are really not stupid or ignorant. They just simply can't live without their abuser.
An illegal immigrant will rather stay abused than report her host to the police.


Why stay?
Fear, helplessness, dependent, history of abuse etc

true cox they have become used to the abusive that it has become a normal or their daily routine, so it is harder for them to accept that it is not normal

Sea~Goddes:

true cox they have become used to the abusive that it has become a normal or their daily routine, so it is harder for them to accept that it is not normal

exactly, that's why even after you've advice them and tried to help them, they still stick with their abuser

You can't imagine the [size=3pt]'stupid'[/size] things love can make
one do.Some stay for other reasons tho and I think I'm with
OMO on this . . . I don't see how packing out will solve the problem.

Misssy B

Darling how is you does??
Me miss you plenty . . . Whatagwan??

OMO IBO:

so how does packing ur bag and baggage resolve the problem?
You wont be minced meat, or dead.
[/b]don't me wrong, i don't subscribe to any form of violence but [b]i also do not think leaving the relationship will make it any better.

Oh really, so the girl should stay there and continue to be abused and sent to an early grave?

staying and keeping a relationship/marriage no be small matter ooo. alot of work and perseverance goes into it. unless u wan join statisitcs

I think I rather be part of the statistic than have a man abuse me for the rest of my life and making it a living hell.

Is not that most woman can't leave. they are afraid of where will i start from. Who will take care of my children and OJU OLOJU KOLE DABI OJU ENI

Is not that most woman can't leave. they are afraid of where will i start from. Who will take care of my children and OJU OLOJU KOLE DABI OJU ENI

Missy B:

Darling how is you does??
Me miss you plenty . . . Whatagwan??

Lol, sorry, didnt even see this.
My lappy has a fever

Who you dey miss? no be me o. . . . cuz nobody dey ask for me.
But me eh, I missed you plenty. . .

Missy B:

You can't imagine the [size=3pt]'stupid'[/size] things love can make
one do.Some stay for other reasons tho and I think I'm with
OMO on this . . . I don't see how packing out will solve the problem.

leaving the house for him, first saves me some beating, slapping and cursing for that day or even a week or months
it makes him see that i can still do something about it not always staying there and receving those beatings
it gives me a chance to really reevaulate my life now and what i want to do next
and lastly it makes him think i am more valuable than he is treating me so leaving him makes a very huge difference,
you know like that saying that goes " you never know the value of what you have till you lose it"

All these girls wey get sharp tongue, why wont u get beat

Asa don explain why.

''ni to ri omo, lo ji ya ni ile oko.

mama mi o fo ju ri, thats is why they stay.

it will happen to all of una too,

say Amin!

iice:

I no fit!
Touch me and die

lol

I'm sorry but I would leave the relationship, even in the case of her being 'deported' or the children issue, i'd prefer to be deported or break the family even with the children if it means that I'd still be alive, who knows, he could even turn to the children sha

If he's doing it to the point of me considering to leave him, break the family etc then it must be a habit, not just a 'one off thing'

Please jor, I value my life

ibkaye:

I'm sorry but I would leave the relationship, even in the case of her being 'deported' or the children issue, i'd prefer to be deported or break the family even with the children if it means that I'd still be alive, who knows, he could even turn to the children sha

If he's doing it to the point of me considering to leave him, break the family etc then it must be a habit, not just a 'one off thing'

Please jor, I value my life

my dear thats exactly what i believe in, like i said is either he leaves or i leave or someone is going to die of rat poisoning

I will leave , such men never stops,its either they destroy her emotionally&mentally for years or as time goes on with the physicall abuse she ends up dead . My aunt lost her life in the arms of her abusive husband,if only she had listened to her sisters& brothers to file for divorce and leave him but she wouldnt, always hoping and praying that he will change someday , what a pity and she was so pretty, may her soul rest in peace,amen.

victorian:

I will leave , such men never stops,its either they destroy her emotionally&mentally for years or as time goes on with the physicall abuse she ends up dead . My aunt lost her life in the arms of her abusive husband,if only she had listened to her sisters& brothers to file for divorce and leave him but she wouldnt, always hoping and praying that he will change someday , what a pity and she was so pretty, may her soul rest in peace,amen.

how sad really sorry for ur lost, u see thats the problem most women always believe they will change, and they contiune receiving the beatings and the insults

thanks poster, it was shocking when we heard she died in one hospital where one of her children rushed her to, but she gave up before any medications could be given to her, Women in those situations , no dey hear word from families, MEN CAN NEVER CHANGE FROM WHAT THEY ARE,DEPENDING ON WHO THE PERSON IS, SOME ARE GOOD, SOME ARE DOWNRIGHT BAD--PLEASE DONT GET IT TWISTED

victorian:

thanks poster, it was shocking when we heard she died in one hospital where one of her children rushed her to, but she gave up before any medications could be given to her, Women in those situations , no dey hear word from families, MEN CAN NEVER CHANGE FROM WHAT THEY ARE,DEPENDING ON WHO THE PERSON IS, SOME ARE GOOD, SOME ARE DOWNRIGHT BAD--PLEASE don't GET IT TWISTED

And people of talking about 'saving their marriage', how about saving your life?

ibkaye:

And people of talking about 'saving their marriage', how about saving your life?

exactly !

Love conquers all problems. Stay and build your home (dats if u survive), and if u don't, u died for love.

ndumart:

Love conquers all problems. Stay and build your home (that is if u survive), and if u don't, u died for love.

Oh lawd, as much as you should love with your heart, the head is also in need of good use