Super mods in case this is not where this is meant to be help me move it.

Nairalanders i need your advice on a matter pertaining to a friend that i met during marriage class,Her wedding is coming up in a couple of weeks,but she is worried about sleeping arrangement.from the little she told me,she had a terrible experience while growing up and as a result she finds it very difficult sleeping without light on.According to her the few times she slept over at her fiancé's place she noticed that the guy cannot sleep with even a flicker of light on and that he likes soft music on while she detest any kind of noise.she actually asked that question during one of our classes and the marriage counsellor just told her that she needs to adjust that marriage is all about sacrifices and compromise,she really need help on what to do so i told her about NL and she agreed that i can post this get other people's opinion.



NB:Please this will be her 1st experience of NL,please if you know you dnt have a serious suggestion try not to comment and all FTC,Nairaland and i school in where ever can we try to take this post serious you can be helping someone's future home.Also any medical advise will be welcomed

They should have separate bedrooms...sleeping together is not by force

She can have her own room, that's if the husband wouldn't mind

2nd to comment and I school in Brussel




niw, to be serious, I don't encourage couples sleeping in different rooms ooo.



and she should try and speak to the guy about it. I really don't know why people can't talk to their partners like they are in a relationship with a serial killer or terrorist

She should purchase a sleeping eye mask for her fiance/husband to be, so the lights can stay on while she sleeps. As fo the music, she either buys ear muffs for herself, who tell her say marraige easy?

She needs to see a counsellor so as to forget d terrible experience she had

The difference between the couple is huge but itz either she adapt to the situation or seek help.
btw,she can always sleep in different room,marriage is not all about sleeping together in a room.

The guy is just like me... BTW this heading is misleading "she can't sleep with lights on"

Her two excuses made no sense to me, was she not told, dat marriage is all about sacrifices? No matter how terrified her past

experience could av been, sleeping on darkness, let her av a second taught and 4get abt it, she is now married for God sake, she might av trusted & know him better, b4 accepting him as her future hubby, so why all dis excuses?

And sharing their separate bedroom is a no no tin for me, mostly at dis her early stage of marriage, d whole tin will just look boring for her hubby na!

She shouldn't use her own hands to cause problem in her marriage o.

My own opinion tho you can add urs! Mods dn"t 4get to move dis into d family section, d person in question really needs help pls

kristina1:
The difference between the couple is huge but itz either she adapt to the situation or seek help.
btw,she can always sleep in different room,marriage is not all about sleeping together in a room.

u r right. plus lead by example. sleep in separate rooms when u marry.

Prixus:

u r right. plus lead by example. sleep in separate rooms when u marry.

Before nko?

Hmmm she has to learn how to let go of some things o.

SeverusSnape:
The guy is just like me... BTW this heading is misleading "she can't sleep with lights on"

Sorry dear i was working and typing this at the same time.i will let her log on to NL so she can view the comments

Nawa oh! She should talk it out with her hubby na. They would be able to reach a decision between themselves

xtratagem:
They should have separate bedrooms...sleeping together is not by force

what rubbish, dont you know the intimacy between them can die down from this? shez not married yet, so after she says i do, a separate room will be awarded to her, when itz cold at night pillows will be their comfort, when itz time for bedmatics they come together and after the deal is done they go their separate rooms FOR HOW LONG?

How does she sleep when Power is cut by the respective Power authority and there is no fuel for the gen?

urhoboman:
what rubbish, dont you know the intimacy between them can die down from this? shez not married yet, so after she says i do, a separate room will be awarded to her, when itz cold at night pillows will be their comfort, when itz time for bedmatics they come together and after the deal is done they go their separate rooms FOR HOW LONG?

What's your suggestion?

xtratagem:


What's your suggestion?

itz left for her and her hubby-to-be to decide, we can't advice her alone while her husby stands on his own term. Its either her hubby adapts to lights ON, or she adapts to lights OFF.

striktlymi:
How does she sleep when Power is cut by the respective Power authority and there is no fuel for the gen?

lol, u deserve a bottle of beer for this question

saaedlee:
She should purchase a sleeping eye mask for her fiance/husband to be, so the lights can stay on while she sleeps. As fo the music, she either buys ear muffs for herself, who tell her say marraige easy?

my brother so for the rest of the brothers life he should put this on

D lady involved should HV a hrt to hrt discussion wiv the husband to be...Marriage is not a bed of roses

Se needs to deal with he problems and past. It's not even proper sleeping with lights on. Not good to sleep in separate rooms also so I guess she needs to work on her self.

Marriage is past the time of boy you go andeet in university so when they get older let's say 45-50u will still expect the old man sleeping wit lights on?lol.let her fix her self soonest.


Ps. If the husband don fagburu as night guard for England befre maybe he fit deh open eyes all night.

Did they date at all? Did she sleep over? I believe these differences should have been taken care of while dey were dating. Anyways, y should she be d 1 to make d sacrifice? They can reach a compromise and use those kinda light that can b dimmed to any level u like. But on a second thought, she's not sleepin alone so she shouldnt be scared. Unless she doesnt feel secured with the man she's about to get married to.
The music thing, the guy should use ear piece. No b only d babe need to adjust. He's not a statue he should move a bit too!

me i cant sleep with light on, it disturb my eye.

I would advise her to discuss it with her "husband to be", that they shuld get two table lamps on both side of the bed.
If he wnts to sleep he can turn his lamp on while the lady switch off hers.
That could be of help

Are you telling me that NEPA have been so faithful to her that all these years after her bad experience NEPA haven't given her any reason to sleep with lights off?

Op, what name do I hail her with?

striktlymi:
How does she sleep when Power is cut by the respective Power authority and there is no fuel for the gen?

Intelligent guy!

Believe me, I didn't see this before I typed mine

Loooool.. Ok have they the deed with the light been on? Just curious...

If she can't adjust then she shouldn't expect the man to adjust.


Let them have separate bedrooms, its normal

saaedlee:
She should purchase a sleeping eye mask for her fiance/husband to be, so the lights can stay on while she sleeps. As fo the music, she either buys ear muffs for herself, who tell her say marraige easy?

.
nice suggestion.