In marital relationships we call it divorce, in a romantic relationship (courting, dating) we call it a break-up. There is no human experience more tragic than divorce/break-ups, why? Because divorce/break-up is death of a relationship, which is worse than physical death cause when somebody die, you can take them to the cemetery, put them in a hole, put some dirt on top of them, put some flowers on it, say goodbye and you never see them again.

In other words, when someone dies physically, you can bring closure to the relationship, and leave them in the grave and never see them again but when somebody divorces/break-up with you, the relationship dies, but you'll still see them on that queue at the petrol station (no thanks to fuel scarcity), you'll still jam them at social functions, if you still have them on your list on social media, definitely, you'll still see their posts and pictures - they keep resurrecting and the pain comes back every time you see them - worse than physical death.


After a breakup, some people lives with hate and regret. Their mind starts playing tricks on them as it keep churning out things to think about even when they don't feel like it. Some gets to the point everything around them irritates them. Flowers, pictures, cars, voices, human figures, songs, clothes, even food especially if any of these things easily brings the 'lost one' back to mind. Many contemplates suicide. Many ends up committing suicide.


This comes as no surprise to me as I was once a victim of this too. After I surrendered to what was, I felt empty. I didn't see any reason to live. Every passing moment, I silently wish for the world to come to an end. Yes, it was that bad. Even though I didn't nurse the idea of suicide, I felt dead on the inside. Those things that were amusing to me, things that gave me so much hope became useless and senseless to me. As a lover of Reggae Music, anytime I feel like 'clearing' my head off regrets, hopelessness and worries with some cool Reggae Music with the hope of getting a soothing relief, I ended up feeling more miserable than I was. Consequently, I turned to the Sam Smith's and the Adele's. Whispers on every side felt like a thorn in my flesh: when I'm alone I feel like all eyes are on me.


So, I also came to the realization that breakup is one of the worst thing one can ever experience in life. You know, after getting so attached to this individual, to the extent they've become a part of you. All your thoughts aren't complete without them in it and sometimes you unconsciously act and take decisions having them at the back of your mind. You've envisaged a bright future with them, matter of fact, in your deep thinking/daydream, you're already living your 'dream life' with them - only to be told 'it's over'?

From personal experience(s), I clearly saw reasons why people commit suicide; breakup is just too an heavy burden to bear. A dark thick tunnel to pass through. However, what most people fail to realize is that the pain associated with breakups is momentary as breakup in the real sense is only but one of those phase in life - it shall soon pass.




Breakup is not the end. It is indeed the beginning.


I told myself, "you can't continue living this way, you can't keep feeling miserable, hateful and bad, you can't keep your life on hold for this moment to pass". Life must go on. I had to let myself loose of all the shackles of pain and depression and search for that light at the end of the tunnel. The first step was the decision I made - to be happy again. I have to keep being the me I was before the breakup.


I picked up my earpiece with Peter Tosh, Bob, Majek, Cocoa Tea and loads of these brethren blasting through both ears as I walked down the street; I picked up my pen and started scribbling down all the nonsense in the world. I started flipping through the pages of many books until I can't remember a thing I just read - talk about useless writings and nonsense readings - but I loved it, I loved feeling me once again, I love being happy and happy I became.


Until you come to the realization that being happy in life has nothing to do with people around you and their actions but that your happiness lies within you, you never will be happy. You'll be surprised to see that person you broke up with picking his/her pieces together and forging ahead in life while you keep wallowing in pain and regrets.


Like someone puts it, "when someone walks out of your life, it's just the end of their part in your story; the beginning of a new chapter".


Don't feel too bad after a breakup, it is not the end of life, however, it is the beginning of a new and better life.


http://kolawolepeters..com.ng/2016/05/breakup-is-not-end.html

mine hurts so deeply nd badly yet no one sees that

Im shattered inside

A very few number of people got married to the first man they ever dated.

halfricanadian:
mine hurts so deeply nd badly yet no one sees that

Im shattered inside

Are you still hurting since then?

This life na once o

iykekelvins:
Are you still hurting since then?

This life na once o

i love ur signature

If i break up now, never again...

Israel5:
If i break up now, never again...

Explain dat

halfricanadian:

Explain dat

if i break up now, no going back. I'll move on

iykekelvins:
Thank you

You've not gotten over that breakup since?

No

Israel5:
if i break up now, no going back. I'll move on

Sorry

halfricanadian:

Sorry

for?

Israel5:
for?

For ur break up na

hummm.. break up what a bad experience..i HOPE i wont b a victim of any again

halfricanadian:


For ur break up na

I've nt broken up yet na nd i dnt plan to. I detestd datin b4 my presnt relatnshp so if i lose, i myt nt cnsidr it 4 a lng time. Wait, Is tht wt u want?

Israel5:
I've nt broken up yet na nd i dnt plan to. I detestd datin b4 my presnt relatnshp so if i lose, i myt nt cnsidr it 4 a lng time. Wait, Is tht wt u want?

Im nt wishing u bad

Didnt understand ur ealier talk

Sorry for wat i said

Wish u happy relationship

irisola:
hummm.. break up what a bad experience..i HOPE i wont b a victim of any again

u wunt if u stay single. Bae, u beta get as many xperience as possible thn jst 1. U culd help others

halfricanadian:

Im nt wishing u bad
Didnt understand ur ealier talk
Sorry for wat i said
Wish u happy relationship

lol. Nd i wish u love.

Israel5:
lol. Nd i wish u love.

Tanx

halfricanadian:

No

Why's it so hard for you

halfricanadian:
mine hurts so deeply nd badly yet no one sees that

Im shattered inside

The question now is 1* Has he moved on
2* Is he also shattered in side?? ......
Dearie believe mhe you've gotta move on, life is too short tu start worrying over people who doesn't care.... they r billions of people everywhere y let 1 person ruin yur beautiful life.... Have ah rethink before yhu worry tu death... gud evening

iykekelvins:
Why's it so hard for you

Nothing

Evakinqz:
The question now is 1* Has he moved on
2* Is he also shattered in side?? ......
Dearie believe mhe you've gotta move on, life is too short tu start worrying over people who doesn't care.... they r billions of people everywhere y let 1 person ruin yur beautiful life.... Have ah rethink before yhu worry tu death... gud evening

Tanx

Israel5:
u wunt if u stay single. Bae, u beta get as many xperience as possible thn jst 1. U culd help others

u want me to die
i will better stay single than experience break ups

irisola:

u want me to die
i will better stay single than experience break ups

haha.. No dear. Ok, Hope 4 d best nd b ready 4 d worst.

halfricanadian:


Nothing

Alright then, sorry for prying

halfricanadian:


Tanx

Just Pwomise mhe yhu gonna move on please..

Evakinqz:
Just Pwomise mhe yhu gonna move on please..

I promise u

halfricanadian:


Nothing

u must b an introvert. Particularly a melancholic character. #I culd xplain

Israel5:
u must b an introvert. Particularly a melancholic character. #I culd xplain

Mayb

Am more of sangunine

halfricanadian:


Mayb

Am more of sangunine

tanks..... Gat tu go, I pray destiny bring us tugeda again.... bye ma lady

halfricanadian:


Mayb

Am more of sangunine

tanks..... Gat tu go, I pray destiny bring us tugeda again.... bye ma lady