Start.

Registering my presence.
Ayamlaykorn

Nawa o. to write poem no easy at all.
I've been thinking of what to write since......


It's peaceful and quiet, like in the graves,
the sound of waters hush with the waves,
I sit still and hold my breath in awe
For before me, lies nature's splendour in the raw

The dew drops gently on my skin,
The wind blows lightly round in a spin
A sudden voice calls in a distance,
I realise I'm only in a trance.

Did I try??

Cc: ayamlaykon, everestdebliu, texanomaly

claps claps claps claps.

This is so awesome. The theme, grammatical accuracy. Awesome.

Just that, you need to re-punctuate it. Just some things you need to add. You decided not to use a period in your poem at all. Where you'd use a period in prose, do in poetry too.

Remember too, that all lines start with a block letter. You missed that in line 2.
That's all!

I'm looking forward to more 'inkings' in this e-notebook of yours.

Presh, why don't you modify the topic name since you've written a poem in it?
Use an attractive name.
Ayamlaykorn

8

laykorn:
Presh, why don't you modify the topic name since you've written a poem in it?
Use an attractive name.
Ayamlaykorn

Done.

I think I like this one

Thanks for the corrections.

preshuzpearl:
Nawa o. to write poem no easy at all.
I've been thinking of what to write since......


It's peaceful and quiet, like in the graves,
the sound of waters hush with the waves,
I sit still and hold my breath in awe
For before me, lies nature's splendour in the raw

The dew drops gently on my skin,
The wind blows lightly round in a spin
A sudden voice calls in a distance,
I realise I'm only in a trance.

Did I try??

(Structure,choice of diction,meter and punctuation)...work on this four,and your poem will go beyond the helm.

EverestdeBliu:

(Structure,choice of diction,meter and punctuation)...work on this four,and your poem will go beyond the helm.

Good evaluation Everest.



You are on your way "Sparkles". Good start. Keep it up. You'll be a shining poetry star in no time.

Nice work Preshuz.

Nice poem OP

Sitting alone in my dorm,
Drinking up the sound of storm,
Wailing behind the pane of glass,
The girls all gone to class,
All trying to avoid me.
I look out into the dark night,
All I did was have one fight,
My crime wasn't worse than that.
Now I'm tagged a brat.

It's not my fault that I'm misunderstood,
I blame the law that got me fooled,
Being quiet was tagged weird,
Now my thoughts and actions are weld.
I am resolved, I won't cross the line,
And I don't expect anyone to cross mine,
But as I look down the window,
I realise with a start. It wasn't just a fight,
'Cause the girl I hit is dead

Cc: laykorn, texanomaly, dre11, everestdebliu, cisse7575, leki10 and others

What'd I miss in this poem??

preshuzpearl:
Sitting alone in my dorm,
Drinking up the sound of storm,
Wailing behind the pane of glass,
The girls all gone to class,
All trying to avoid me.
I look out into the dark night,
All I did was have one fight,
My crime wasn't worse than that.
Now I'm tagged a brat.

It's not my fault that I'm misunderstood,
I blame the law that got me fooled,
Being quiet was tagged weird,
Now my thoughts and actions are weld.
I am resolved, I won't cross the line,
And I don't expect anyone to cross mine,
But as I look down the window,
I realise with a start. It wasn't just a fight,
'Cause the girl I hit is dead

Cc: laykorn, texanomaly, dre11, everestdebliu, cisse7575, leki10 and others

What'd I miss in this poem??

This is a really good poem.
Check your punctuation.

Is this for real?

texanomaly:

This is a really good poem.
Check your punctuation.

Is this for real?

Nooo. Lol. It's 100percent fiction.

Btw could you correct the punctuation errors for me? I thought I was careful about that.

Tnx

There wasn't much to do.


Sitting alone in my dorm,
Drinking up the sound of a storm,
Wailing behind the pane of glass.
The girls all gone to class,
All trying to avoid me.
I look out into the dark night,
All I did was have one fight.
My crime wasn't worse than that.
Now I'm tagged a brat.

It's not my fault that I'm misunderstood,
I blame the law that got me fooled.
Being quiet was tagged weird,
Now my thoughts and actions are weld.
I am resolved, I won't cross the line,
And I don't expect anyone to cross mine,
But as I look down the window,
I realise with a start. It wasn't just a fight,
'Cause the girl I hit, is dead!

preshuzpearl:
Sitting alone in my dorm,
Drinking up the sound of storm,
Wailing behind the pane of glass,
The girls all gone to class,
All trying to avoid me.
I look out into the dark night,
All I did was have one fight,
My crime wasn't worse than that.
Now I'm tagged a brat.

It's not my fault that I'm misunderstood,
I blame the law that got me fooled,
Being quiet was tagged weird,
Now my thoughts and actions are weld.
I am resolved, I won't cross the line,
And I don't expect anyone to cross mine,
But as I look down the window,
I realise with a start. It wasn't just a fight,
'Cause the girl I hit is dead

Cc: laykorn, texanomaly, dre11, everestdebliu, cisse7575, leki10 and others

What'd I miss in this poem??

I see your 'end rhymes', but u missed out in some lines; if u must rhyme,let every line have a feel of it.
Nice poem,I give you 7/10.

EverestdeBliu:

I see your 'end rhymes', but u missed out in some lines; if u must rhyme,let every line have a feel of it.
Nice poem,I give you 7/10.

Thanks. I'll work on that

texanomaly:
There wasn't much to do.


Sitting alone in my dorm,
Drinking up the sound of a storm,
Wailing behind the pane of glass.
The girls all gone to class,
All trying to avoid me.
I look out into the dark night,
All I did was have one fight.
My crime wasn't worse than that.
Now I'm tagged a brat.

It's not my fault that I'm misunderstood,
I blame the law that got me fooled.
Being quiet was tagged weird,
Now my thoughts and actions are weld.
I am resolved, I won't cross the line,
And I don't expect anyone to cross mine,
But as I look down the window,
I realise with a start. It wasn't just a fight,
'Cause the girl I hit, is dead!

*whispering*check yo end rhymes and try the rhyme scheme for effect. I am not good ooo

1miccza:



*whispering*check yo end rhymes and try the rhyme scheme for effect. I am not good ooo

Already been said.


Here's hoping she was in class last night. All the classes so far have been really helpful, to me as well.

@the bolded
We both know you could teach me a thing or two.

texanomaly:


Already been said.


Here's hoping she was in class last night. All the classes so far have been really helpful, to me as well.

@the bolded
We both know you could teach me a thing or two.

*looks to the right and left * who was that again?And who's the she?