I looooove this place, am full of respect for you gals & guys

Hmm

seru - i am single o! so my responses maybe from another direction.
So here goes

1. What are your expectations from your spouse emotionally.
Understanding my personality, thoughtful and sensitive, i expect to believe in me , that can do all i was created to

2. What are your expectations from your spouse in the bedroom? What would you do? What would you NOT do? What would you try to do as an experiment? What do you WANT him to do, but he's NOT doing it?
Okayyy oh.
I expect a journey not a destination (no wham bam fullstop kind of show) I wouldnt do anything uncomfortable but i'd be open to try new stuff. Roleplay and sex anywhere outside the bedroom
3. If you could make any changes to your spouse, what would they be and why?
NEXT Will cross that bridge when i get there

4. What was the deciding factor that made you agree to marry your spouse
Oya SPOILT - na because of you i dey fail this exam oh.
Haba , i can only answer 2 out of 4

Seru - i will resit this one , very soon

salsera:

Hmm

seru  - i am single o! so my responses maybe from another direction.
So here goes

1.  What are your expectations from your spouse emotionally.
Understanding my personality, thoughtful and sensitive, i expect to  believe in me , that can do all i was created to

2.  What are your expectations from your spouse in the bedroom?  What would you do?  What would you NOT do? What would you try to do as an experiment? What do you WANT him to do, but he's NOT doing it?
Okayyy oh.
I expect a journey not a destination (no wham bam fullstop kind of show) I wouldnt do anything uncomfortable but i'd be open to try new stuff. Roleplay and sex anywhere outside the bedroom
3.  If you could make any changes to your spouse, what would they be and why?
NEXT Will cross that bridge when i get there

4.  What was the deciding factor that made you agree to marry your spouse
Oya SPOILT - na because of you i dey fail this exam oh.
Haba , i can only answer 2 out of 4

Seru - i will resit this one  , very soon

@Salsera.  Don't worry about it.  You didn't fail.  You can only answer questions on courses you participated in, abi no be so?  You're on the right track.  Thanks for the response.  Your 'resit' shall be successful and I offer you congratulations in advance.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Same to you Serubawon and all posters on this thread

Happy New Year everyone! I pray all threads and posts shall be testimonials of the goodness of God in our lives in this new year IJN, Amen!

Serubawon Happy New Year! I pray for more of God's grace and favour upon you and the kids this year. Also, I pray you find love too. Welcome to 2012.

@Everyone else, Happy New year. May 2012 be a new beginning for us all.

Ok, I am usually on here to have fun and say whatever nonsense entertains me at the moment but this thread really took me by surprise. I read all 13 pages non-stop and I am truly touched by the tone and message. I have honestly never seen anything like it on the Internet, period.

Mr Serubawon - God is your strength. You story is compelling and powerful. Thank you so much for sharing. My parents marriage fell apart when I was 4 years old and I was raised by my Mum. My Dad was a monster - a wife-beating, womanizing, alcoholic, smoking, spend-thrift, stingy, malicious monster. He abandoned us emotionally, physically and financially. I thank God for a hardworking, god-fearing and loving mum who sacrificed everything she had to raise us. I remember when she would buy us Xmas clothes so that we won't be ashamed at school/church but she would borrow clothes from my aunt for herself on Xmas. All the while, my father would be flaunting his wealth around town with small, small ashawo girls. Today we are doing extremely well (and my Mum's career is doing fantastic). Others that knew us back then still open their mouths in wonder at how we all turned out (some even call my Mum a witch! LOL!) But it was all God (and prayer and fasting!). Hang in there with your kids oh! You might think they don't know anything but they know and will remember every sacrifice you are making. Being a single-parent isn't easy but if done right, the rewards are sweeter than honey because God sees and rewards everything. Good luck with your kids! I am sure they'll turn out fantastic, IJN!

ps - we are all rooting for you oh! I am sure there is a woman out there who is praying for a man just like you and vice-versa! God will bring you guys together in due time, IJN!

Hello all! Happy New Year!!! It has been a looong while since I've posted any comment in NL. I hung out in the Christian E-Fellowship the last time I really followed and commented regularly. I have been ghost-reading lately and I chuckle to myself as I read the contributions of familiar characters. I'd like to commend the OP for this thread, as it has been truly a wonderful and exciting read! This kind of story is what I call a "Chick Joint", lol. We "loves" a good heart felt tear-jerker that transcends into a "happily ever after"! Hey ladies? I have experienced the richness and depth of the journey of not only a desperate widower's pathway to healing, but the love, support and comfort of heart to hearts along the way. I was phenomenally blessed. May God continue to unfold the wonderful and unknown surprises of life that indeed leads to LIFE. May we all enjoy the journey and grow into people full of hope, joy, and the awesome love of God! This world surely needs more of it!

Serubawon, You have fared well. I see Christ in you! Continue to pursue Him with everything you have! Don't give Him any breathing room! lol, He will love it and bless you all the more! Watch Him do it! God bless you and your family! Thank you for opening your life to us! This thread is like hanging out at your place now! You never know who may knock at the door!

Wow, kudos to the sisters who held this thread down and stuck it out with this dear brother! You ladies are awesome! I pray God goes over and beyond in blessing your homes and life, as well. God bless you richly!

@ moremi

So glad you guys turned out well.  If you are not married I pray you find the right woman for you. I know of someone that passed through something similar. Found a fiancée got married to her and before you can say jack robinson , the woman was giving him in necessary ultimatums to chose between her and his mother, simply because he never hid he fact that he loved his mother so much. Women, our wahala too much, like she was there or even went through half of what his mother went through for him.


Happy new year serubobo

jennykadry:

@ moremi

So glad you guys turned out well.  If you are not married I pray you find the right woman for you. I know of someone that passed through something similar. Found a fiancée got married to her and before you can say jack robinson , the woman was giving him in necessary ultimatums to chose between her and his mother, simply because he never hid he fact that he loved his mother so much. Women, our wahala too much, like she was there or even went through half of what his mother went through for him.


Happy new year serubobo

Sister Jenny!!!!! What are you? A mind-reader? Hahaha! I have had issues like that with girlfriends in the past (in fact, I just broke up with one for similar reasons). Thankfully, my mum is too prayerful for that kind of thing to happen. She always prays that the woman I marry is going to be her friend and daughter. To be honest, I can't see myself marrying a woman who doesn't like my mum or my family. They are really important parts of my story and journey.

moremi2008:

Ok, I am usually on here to have fun and say whatever nonsense entertains me at the moment but this thread really took me by surprise. I read all 13 pages non-stop and I am truly touched by the tone and message. I have honestly never seen anything like it on the Internet, period.

Mr Serubawon - God is your strength. You story is compelling and powerful. Thank you so much for sharing. My parents marriage fell apart when I was 4 years old and I was raised by my Mum. My Dad was a monster - a wife-beating, womanizing, alcoholic, smoking, spend-thrift, stingy, malicious monster. He abandoned us emotionally, physically and financially. I thank God for a hardworking, god-fearing and loving mum who sacrificed everything she had to raise us. I remember when she would buy us Xmas clothes so that we won't be ashamed at school/church but she would borrow clothes from my aunt for herself on Xmas. All the while, my father would be flaunting his wealth around town with small, small ashawo girls. Today we are doing extremely well (and my Mum's career is doing fantastic). Others that knew us back then still open their mouths in wonder at how we all turned out (some even call my Mum a witch! LOL!) But it was all God (and prayer and fasting!). Hang in there with your kids oh! You might think they don't know anything but they know and will remember every sacrifice you are making. Being a single-parent isn't easy but if done right, the rewards are sweeter than honey because God sees and rewards everything. Good luck with your kids! I am sure they'll turn out fantastic, IJN!

ps - we are all rooting for you oh! I am sure there is a woman out there who is praying for a man just like you and vice-versa! God will bring you guys together in due time, IJN!

@moremi2008. Thanks my brother. I read the part about your mom and it was so like what happened to us when we were young. Now, my mother lives in luxury and peace because we her kids will never allow her to want for anything. My father, poor guy, had had his fun in the past with is wealth, abandoned us, had other kids and now it's kind of pathetic how things are going for him. The 'other woman' cleaned him OUT! His 'other' daughters have turned out to be extreme disappointments for him. It's a sad story that should make you think "serves him right". However, we kind of accepted him back (as a father) and you should see the way tears fall from his eyes when he's referring to me as his ONLY son, in whom he is so proud. Sometimes I shake my head in amazement at how things come back in full circle and how God has a way of rewarding everyone according to how they have lived their lives.

That's why I can lay down my LIFE for my kids, knowing fully well that whatever or however I treat them now, will come back to me full circle in His time. My father actually cries when he sees my kids now. (The tears don't bother me one bit unfortunately).

As I said, I pray for more stories showing testimonies of God's goodness in our lives. There was a time I couldn't think this way, but now, all I am is grateful and thankful to God. I honestly see 2012 as a year where you won't have a choice, but to give thanks to God. I sure will.

Once again, thanks everyone for making this thread what it is today, a source of inspiration!!

jennykadry:


Happy new year serubobo

Happy New Year to you too. Howz Mr. Kadry doing?

Henrygirl:

Hello all! Happy New Year!!! It has been a looong while since I've posted any comment in NL. I hung out in the Christian E-Fellowship the last time I really followed and commented regularly. I have been ghost-reading lately and I chuckle to myself as I read the contributions of familiar characters. I'd like to commend the OP for this thread, as it has been truly a wonderful and exciting read! This kind of story is what I call a "Chick Joint", lol. We "loves" a good heart felt tear-jerker that transcends into a "happily ever after"! Hey ladies? I have experienced the richness and depth of the journey of not only a desperate widower's pathway to healing, but the love, support and comfort of heart to hearts along the way. I was phenomenally blessed. May God continue to unfold the wonderful and unknown surprises of life that indeed leads to LIFE. May we all enjoy the journey and grow into people full of hope, joy, and the awesome love of God! This world surely needs more of it!

Serubawon, You have fared well. I see Christ in you! Continue to pursue Him with everything you have! Don't give Him any breathing room! lol, He will love it and bless you all the more! Watch Him do it! God bless you and your family! Thank you for opening your life to us! This thread is like hanging out at your place now! You never know who may knock at the door!

Wow, kudos to the sisters who held this thread down and stuck it out with this dear brother! You ladies are awesome! I pray God goes over and beyond in blessing your homes and life, as well. God bless you richly!

@Henrygirl. Thanks for the encouragement. It's by God's grace.

Analytical:

Serubawon Happy New Year! I pray for more of God's grace and favour upon you and the kids this year. Also, I pray you find love too. Welcome to 2012.

@Everyone else, Happy New year. May 2012 be a new beginning for us all.

@Analytical. Thank you sir. Where have you been!!! I must tell you that your input helped me put a lot of things into perspective and I'm the better for it. May God continue to grant you more wisdom in your walk with Him.

@Serubawon, Amen and thanks too.  The last 2 months of 2011 was busy and trying for me.  First, I had a project under a very impossible time-frame to deliver and secondly, my son took ill and spent some time on admission in the hospital.  That completely took my time online away. However, in all of these things, we are more than conquerors through Christ.

Keep the flag of Christ flying high.

Analytical:

@Serubawon, Amen and thanks too.  The last 2 months of 2011 was busy and trying for me.  First, I had a project under a very impossible time-frame to deliver and secondly, my son took ill and spent some time on admission in the hospital.  That completely took my time online away. However, in all of these things, we are more than conquerors through Christ.

Keep the flag of Christ flying high.

Hope your son is doing better. His healing is permanent IJN. I had an impossible deadline to meet also, but it was accomplished by God's grace. Well, this is a new year of more testimonies and even more breakthroughs. I wish you and yours well. Remain blessed.

Amen. Thank you brother. Thanks be to God who gives us victory through Jesus Christ our Lord. He is healed now. The Lord stepped in when we called upon Him and all tests confirmed he is healed. Halleluyah.

Be blessed.

I stumbled across nairaland a few days ago n its amazing what i discovered 2day.
Serubawon, ur story has completely changed my mindset towards marriage.
to u all on this thread
Dis is a real family of matured minds except for ********
I had to read through all 13 pages as quickly as possible.
A family friend jst lost her hubby after 5 yrs of marriage with d 1st child on d way(7months along) when He died in a car crash
Dis incidence has left me wondering, though she's had her baby, but it's not been easy at all, i tend 2 put myself in her shoes n truth be told i dunno what I'll do if i were her. Sometimes dis cld be a very scary world.
Sure i didn't get on dis forum by mistake, never met such wonderful, freeminded n interesting guys.

Have a fun-filled weekend y'all

Are you still in Houston?

kokoye:

Are you still in Houston?

@kokoye. I'm assuming the question was meant for me. Yes, I am still in Houston.

Happy new year everyone! I have been incredibly overwhelmed with career and family. Its a never ending juggling act. Anyway here I am. Can't stay away from you guys.
Ehen Salsera, I dey on the constant lookout for you but na your location no dey help matters. Two out of four no bad sha. Lol.

Serubawon, how you dey? New year new opportunities abi? Keep on keeping on
@ Moremi2008, they think your mother is a witch huh? Because she scrapped her kids to success through sheer sacrifice? Unbelievabley funny. You couldn't have cracked a funnier joke.

To all the married womenfolk here with kids, how do you do it? I am that woman who is constantly on the go. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming and I just want to bawl! How do you guys stay sane?? Aside from destressing with you know what. . . . . . . . . .ehehe ehe ehe.

spoilt:

Happy new year everyone! I have been incredibly overwhelmed with career and family. Its a never ending juggling act. Anyway here I am. Can't stay away from you guys.
Ehen Salsera, I dey on the constant lookout for you but na your location no dey help matters. Two out of four no bad sha. Lol.

Serubawon, how you dey? New year new opportunities abi? Keep on keeping on
@ Moremi2008, they think your mother is a witch huh? Because she scrapped her kids to success through sheer sacrifice? Unbelievabley funny. You couldn't have cracked a funnier joke.

To all the married womenfolk here with kids, how do you do it? I am that woman who is constantly on the go. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming and I just want to bawl! How do you guys stay sane?? Aside from destressing with you know what. . . . . . .  .  .  .ehehe ehe ehe.

You know how naija people are now. My mum and the kids did really well but my dad squandered all his wealth. The typical Nigerian mind, lazy from a rich diet of Africa Magic, automatically thinks it's my mum exacting revenge on my dad for abandoning us! Of course, she must be a witch to have all those powers!

Well, looks like the women have taken over (as usual), but that's all well and good. Who else will take over. You only let us men think we're in control anyway.

Any mother that sacrifices everything for her children needs to enjoy the rest of her days in happiness, peace and joy. My sisters and I threw a birthday bash for our mom that made other mothers look at their children with a look that said "see better children o." My dad couldn't even show his face out of shame. However, we took him to chinese buffet on his own birthday sha o. So, it wasn't a total loss for him. We could see it in his eyes that he felt cheated. Too bad. The woman suffered and sacrificed everything for us. Where does he think he earned anything? But, to err is human and to forgive is divine. So, he's forgiven (just gets different treatment, that's all). MOTHERS FOR EVER!!!

serubawon:

Well, looks like the women have taken over (as usual), but that's all well and good. Who else will take over. You only let us men think we're in control anyway.

Any mother that sacrifices everything for her children needs to enjoy the rest of her days in happiness, peace and joy. My sisters and I threw a birthday bash for our mom that made other mothers look at their children with a look that said "see better children o." My dad couldn't even show his face out of shame. However, we took him to chinese buffet on his own birthday sha o. So, it wasn't a total loss for him. We could see it in his eyes that he felt cheated. Too bad. The woman suffered and sacrificed everything for us. Where does he think he earned anything? But, to err is human and to forgive is divine. So, he's forgiven (just gets different treatment, that's all). MOTHERS FOR EVER!!!

You're lucky that your Dad stayed around long enough for you guys to forgive. I didn't get that opportunity. My Dad passed away before we got the chance to be reconciled. He died in a rented apartment and with 600k in his account (he sold the very last of his houses for N30 million about 7years ago). Guess who paid for his funeral? My Mum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The story came full-circle and was the talk of the town for weeks! Imagine the woman you abandoned in the eighties and left to suffer with your children being the only one there to give you a befitting burial a couple of decades later?!!! Many of his friends, grown men, wept because they were so shocked at my Mum's generosity. It made me love my Mum even more because I know she paid for the funeral only because as God would have it, my Dad passed away the year I and my siblings were ALL at different stages of finishing graduate school and couldn't afford a penny in contribution!

@ serubawon
You took him to a chinese buffet? All that MSG! God oh!! I go die oh! Too funny. Motherhood is not a small thing. Some days I just sit in my car for two minutes before going into the house or office and just scream!!! For real its like where am I going to get the energy to do it all? And I have a husband. To the single mothers. . , . I can only say your reward is in heaven.
@ Moremi2008
Such forgiveness as shown by your mother is remarkable. It just amazes me how men will sometimes leave a virtous woman to be with whores who only see a meal ticket. It onlyy ends one way. . . . Bad.

@ chaircover, I've told myself several times to slow down but its hard to do with several things to be done. I've devised multi tasking methods to knock out several chores in one fell swoop but I still need to let some things go. Weekends I'm like a robotic sterilizing machine armed with my arm and hammer bath scrubbing foam dispenser. I can't possibly get the needed rest knowing fully well that the bathrooms haven't been cleaned etc etc. Even lying in bed my mind will be creating its usual to do list. Its ridiculous. At this rate i'm inviting a stroke. Lol. You're so right. If hubby doesn't do it right I don't have to do the frigging thing over.

@ Ruedan,
No you didn't stumble on here by mistake.
The good lord will see your family friend through. Not an easy journey especially with a baby in the picture but with family and friends lending support it'll get a bit easier with each passing day. Abi serubawon?

spoilt:

@ Ruedan,
No you didn't stumble on here by mistake.
The good lord will see your family friend through. Not an easy journey especially with a baby in the picture but with family and friends lending support it'll get a bit easier with each passing day. Abi serubawon?

@Spoilt. Na so my sista. Bad things happen to good people on a daily basis, but with God's grace, these unfortunate circumstances only make them stronger. It's a lot harder for women than men, because society does not accord women the same benefit of quick re-marriage and it's pretty sad that this is a norm. Why is it alright for a widower to re-marry and a widow is expected to mourn and be celibate the rest of her life?

@Ruedan, I sympathize with your friend and I pray that God almighty gives her the strength and grace to carry on, while providing for her baby. Maybe you can let her read this thread for whatever it's worth. I sincerely hope it offers some sort of comfort (no matter how small). Who knows, the Lord might be preparing her for something wonderful. The most important advice I can give her is to hold on to God with all her strength. Family and friends will fail, but Christ never fails.

I hope I am not digressing but can I ask everyone here a question or two, CC SPOILT SERUBOBO ANALYTICAL MOREMI and others I forgot to mention, honest answers please

Does alcohol turn anyone of you on?

Is s3x after drinking responsibly better than just normal s3x?

You people should answer me now oo, ehnnnnn because I have been asking my husband these same question and he's been laughing at me

jennykadry:

I hope I am not digressing but can I ask everyone here a question or two, CC SPOILT SERUBOBO ANALYTICAL MOREMI and others I forgot to mention, honest answers please

Does alcohol turn anyone of you on?

Is s3x after drinking responsibly better than just normal s3x?

You people should answer me now oo, ehnnnnn because I have been asking my husband these same question and he's been laughing at me

Alcohol doesn't turn you on sexually. When taken in limited quantities, it loosens your inhibitions a bit and you have wild, freaky, hair-pulling sex with somebody you just met or with your wife. However, one very negative effect is impotency. Sometimes, taking too much alcohol can cause your manhood to fail when its time for action. The failure is only temporary though but if you're a regular heavy drinker, it can be a bit embarrassing. I used to be a regular drinker but stopped drinking last year. I am talking from experience oh.