Instant Message Flirting; How to Tell a Girl Likes You Online and Through Text Messages

With the advances in technology over the years, the mediums for flirting have changed. No longer do you have to meet in person or make a phone call to flirt. Thanks to instant messaging, text messaging and social networking sites, it’s easier than ever to charm a girl.


Instant messaging has introduced new methods
of flirting. However, many guys, such as myself
have trouble picking up on flirting when it’s in
person. It’s even harder to pick up on these
signals online. So to help you out, I have consulted with a number of trusted women to help you find out if a girl is actually interested or if she wants nothing to do with you. I consulted some good friends Ishilove, Mukina2, Farano and others.

THEY INITIATE THE CONVERSATION

This seems fairly obvious but it needs to be said. If you are always the one initiating the conversation, that’s not a good sign. She needs
to IM or text you initially at least some of the
time. However, don’t expect that too often because even if she likes you she may not want
to come off as desperate and will wait for you to start the conversation.

THEY SEEM INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU
HAVE TO SAY

This is another fairly obvious one but if she asks a lot of questions and has good responses to your comments, than you might be in luck. If you are the one always asking questions and trying to keep the conversation going, then you should probably try your luck elsewhere because you aren’t her anytime soon.
Here’s what Ishilove had to say on the matter: “A
good sign would be if a girl is constantly engaged in the conversation (i.e. “brb” is a BAD thing) and writes fairly long, but not too long, or too short messages. Too long and they may just consider you a friend; too short and they are just not interested.”

EMOTICONS

Emoticons are always a good sign. The more, the better. Big smiles and laughs are always good when flirting in person. Online is no different.
Here’s what my friend Mukina2 had to say:
“Without a doubt, the wink or grin is super
important when flirting over aim and
texts. .”
Quivah agrees: “I do send quite a few of
the emoticons as well, usually the winky
one, the blushy one, or the
big smile one.”
and Prexxy1 … “The winking face is a definite
flirting tool, and general teasing of
whoever I’m flirting with.”

EXCLAMATION POINTS

Exclamation points are a great sign. Hey! Is
better than Hey. What’s up!? is better than
what’s up . It shows they are genuinely excited
to talk to you and not just being polite.

ADD-ONS TO A GREETING

Any sort of add on to a greeting is usually a
good sign. For example, instead of saying Hey,
they say Hey there! or Hey babe .
Here’s what Rocktation had to say: I’d also start
off with “hi handsome” and end with “bye
babe”

EXTENDED WORDS

Any sort of extension to a word is good. For
example Heyyyyyy or Byyyyee are always
good signs.
Other words used are ; “greeeeatttt!” or
Hiiiiiiiii! or Byeeeeeee or I knowwwww "

CAPITAL LETTERS

Capital letters that accentuate a point are good
as well. Once again here’s what a friend
noticed when digging through some old
conversations:
“I always seemed to be really excited
about anything that you said. CAPITAL
letters and all WOW nice! to anything that
you said whether I understood it or not.”

THEY SAY GOODBYE FIRST

This was another one I was unaware of before
starting this post. I had multiple responses from
my “focus group” saying they always would try
to sign off first. Apparently they want to make it
look like they are busy.
This is what my Farano had to say: “I also
tried to come off busy and tried to end
the conversation first. I would always say
I was going out with friends or somewhere else
and if he wanted to stop by that, that would be
cool. I would say all sorts of things to
show him that I was busy and would not
be waiting around for his next move.”
This could get confusing since a girl who is not
interested will likely sign off first as well. This is
why you need to pay attention to the other
flirtation signals listed above.

If you get an
extended goodbye or an add-on than you might
be getting lucky really soon.

DISCLAIMER : All characters appearing in this article are fictitious. Any
resemblance to real persons, EITHER ON NAIRALAND or NOT , is purely
coincidental.

hmmmmm

That's trueee!!!

Well, from what I experience always; when a girl likes u,
>she'll try to respond to every msg u sent n even initiate a conversation sometimes.
> she'll use d emoticons to express what she's feeling at dat moment. Some may even use both emoticons and chat acronyms like LOL, LMAO, ROTF when u say something very hilarious n some may even say "u no well o" or "jorrr o" when u say something teasing.
> she may sometimes call ur name in short form or add it to greetings, like Josh, hey Josh, hi Josh, morning josh.
Trust me, when a girl address u dis way, it means u have her attention n she as well likes d attention u always give to her.
>sometimes, they'll passively use words like hello luv, hi dear, thanks dear, et cetera.
NOTE: THEY DON'T ALWAYS SAY GOODBYE FIRST.
I am not saying they don't normally say goodbyes first but most time they just want d conversation to continue even though they r out of words to say to u. But just not to let u have d feeling dat they r trying to snub u, they won't say d word "bye". What I do at moments like dat is to quickly tell them 'catch ya later' or 'see ya later'. And d response would be "Ok or Aiit", they may add dear, luv, smiling emoticon or simply leave it like that.

Nice write up...but

I am not saying they don't normally say
goodbyes first but most time they just want d
conversation to continue even though they r out
of words to say to u. But just not to let u have d
feeling dat they r trying to snub u, they won't
say d word "bye". What I do at moments like dat
is to quickly tell them 'catch ya later' or 'see ya
later'. And d response would be "Ok or Aiit", they
may add dear, luv, smiling emoticon or simply
leave it like that.

true that!!!
that describes me.. even when I really wanna ignore/snub you..I find it hard

I'm working on it tho

nice writeup op!..

but I disagree with 3 and 8..for me

emoticons;

I use emoticons always, to describe my mood.. either am feeling you or not..
when I'm angry, I use it
when I'm smiling, I use it
when I'm blushing, I use it
when you are saying rubbish, I use the appropriate smiley etc
so it depends on my mood and not cause I'm digging you.

they say goodbye first;

maybe not me.. I hate to say goodbye or hear it even when theres no more topics to discuss, I won't wanna end the chats.. lets just keep talking please. I can count the number of times I initiated the 'bye ttyl' msg with my bf.. it has always be coming from him, which normally hits me with a little touch of pain..but it has to happen na


number one just describes me, but I'm beginning to read some other meaning to it, and might soon stop or reduce it.


PS; I was like na when this op interview me fa still I saw the disclaimer

quivah:

true that!!!
that describes me.. even when I really wanna ignore/snub you..I find it hard

I'm working on it tho

Nothing do u sis

quivah:
nice writeup op!..

but I disagree with 3 and 8..for me

emoticons;

I use emoticons always, to describe my mood.. either am feeling you or not..
when I'm angry, I use it
when I'm smiling, I use it
when I'm blushing, I use it
when you are saying rubbish, I use the appropriate smiley etc
so it depends on my mood and not cause I'm digging you.

they say goodbye first;

maybe not me.. I hate to say goodbye or hear it even when there's no more topics to discuss, I won't wanna end the chats.. lets just keep talking please. I can count the number of times I initiated the 'bye ttyl' msg with my bf.. it has always be coming from him, which normally hits me with a little touch of pain..but it has to happen na


number one just describes me, but I'm beginning to read some other meaning to it, and might soon stop


PS; I was like na when this op interview me fa still I saw the disclaimer

lol Maybe I should reduce them to 7. It seems people are not agreeing totally with that no 8.

Guys don't b decieved totally oo ,sum of dese girls wud become so chatty nd friendly when dier bis or subscription is almost xpired.so we wee b d rechargers .

partial truth

hahahahaha! Okay, I love this!!

Urm, if this was true, den all the ladies i have been chatting with ever since had a crush on me....which would be a very big fat lie..... Cmon guys, lets not b decieved by such......