Post by: Lauren Martin

If dating in general is difficult, then dating in your twenties is damn near impossible.
Dating in your twenties as a woman is like trying to catch a fish without a rod. It’s like sitting on a boat, praying and hoping some stupid bass will willingly jump out of the water and into your limp net. You’re looking for a miracle and a complete reworking of a fish’s mentality.
But why? Why is it so damn hard to find a good guy? Why is it so hard to get back that relationship that came so easily in high school and college?

We’ve all been guilty of passing on the guy who was “too easy.” The guy who texted us every morning, called us for dinner and made sure we knew his intentions. We were bored with that guy. We were young and alive and thought we needed a little danger.
Well, now we’ve got that danger, and all we want is the safety of a man who isn’t going to get us in bed and stab us 15 times in the heart before getting out before dawn.
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We’d rather be hurt than numb
The saying is “it’s better to feel something than to feel nothing,” but when it comes to bad boys and assh*les, you usually always end up crying in bed wishing you could just be numb again.
Before he hurt you, however, you were so damn desperate to feel something that you willingly jumped into the pit of piranhas, thinking you were ready to take on whatever. Oh, how wrong you were.
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We’re deluded by our own fantasies

If we’re being honest here, let’s be real and say that most guys we meet aren’t sized up and down for who they are as people, but for how good they’ll look in our Instagram pics. We don’t look at men and see them for who they are and how they will treat us; we see them for the chance we have at making them ours.
We chug down these fantasies and grandiose notions before we realize that we’re drinking poison.
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We want to be “that girl”

Every woman wants to be “that woman” who changes the bad boy. If you haven’t already figured it out, here’s a hint: The bad boy never changes, the women he dates just get more stupid. His wife, “the one who changed him” isn’t living with a converted saint, but a man who is most likely going behind her back.
There’s no prize in being “that girl,” but most likely a few consolation prizes that include a stab in the back.
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We don’t actually want boyfriends

This may be a stretch, but I think women choose the wrong guys because they unconsciously don’t want — or aren’t ready — for real relationships.
Relationships are intense; they require complete self-confidence and a good amount of time. Women in their twenties are just coming into their own. We’re finding out who we are, what we love and how we will define ourselves.
Having a boyfriend is another job and facet of ourselves we’re not always ready to explore. Sometimes it’s easier to choose the guy who won’t be our boyfriend than to just admit we’d rather be alone.

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hmmm