SirShymex:


Well, I'd say I don't really have that much interactions with African women who grew up in Africa out here, apart from family. It's somewhat difficult to relate on so many levels. And the experience of the average Nigerian man on these streets, based on folks I'm around, and what I read on here. However, with black men, regardless of where you were born and raised, once you step out here - you'll have that stigma. It comes with the territory. So, I judge based on the experience of the black man.

What class system are you alluding to? This has absolutely nothing to do with class - it's about women in general. I'd wager that black women born and raised in diaspora are more loyal than the ones from the continent cos they understand the struggle a bit. The ones from the continent are just basically ignorant of the environment they're in, and are most times grateful for being in a society far better than where they came from - hence the need to always exploit everything, especially the counter-productive ones. They don't understand anything.

But on the flip-side, they should be the more cultured ones. Talk about a walking contradiction.

It's not fair play then because you are judging people you have not even listened to.

SirShymex:


Lmao at the bold. Nah, you take them for neeks, emasculate them, and exploit their weakness(es).

I don't think so and are you trying to say that showing your wife respect or love is weakness?

SirShymex:


The ones who migrated abroad are actually far worse.

same thing can be said too of the black man who emigrated.

babygirlfl:


It's not fair play then because you are judging people you have not even listened to.

Though I don't have interactions with them cos there's nothing much to talk about. What's there to talk about? Nigerian music? - I don't listen to it too tough. Nigeria?- I only do that on here, and it's mostly about politics and what I've read, and most women don't like politics anyway. So, what's there to talk about since most of them can't relate to my world?

However, I see things. I know how those who get kicked out all the time. I know about those who have curfews set by their Nigerian wives. I know about how every mistake is a fashion to them. I know the mentality, and how uncouth they're, hence I try my best possible to stay away from it. Even on here, it's so glaring. So, I think I can speak from that space. We've no interaction close interesting but I know the behavioural pattern based on what I see. I'm very observant.

babygirlfl:


I don't think so and are you trying to say that showing your wife respect or love is weakness?

I agree with respect, support, and care - but women in general always take love for granted. There has to be check and balances. Once you show a woman you're in love, she'd make you a su.cker. Anyway, I'm not into love - it's an emotion for suckers.

There are rules to this shiit.

SirShymex:


Well, I'd say I don't really have that much interactions with African women who grew up in Africa out here, apart from family. It's somewhat difficult to relate on so many levels. And the experience of the average Nigerian man on these street, based on folks I'm around, and what I read on here. However, with black men, regardless of where you were born and raised, once you step out here - you'll have that stigma. It comes with the territory. So, I judge based on the experience of the black man.

What class system are you alluding to? This has absolutely nothing to do with class - it's about women in general. I'd wager that black women born and raised in diaspora are more loyal than the ones from the continent cos they understand the struggle a bit. The ones from the continent are just basically ignorant of the environment they're in, and are most times grateful for being in a society far better than where they came from - hence the need to always exploit everything, especially the counter-productive ones. They don't understand anything.

But on the flip-side, they should be the more cultured ones. Talk about a walking contradiction.

Most Africans abroad are usually interested in relationships that would benefit them either financially or what not. The men are not the only one struggling abroad. The story is the same for every immigrant regardless the gender except for very few.

If half breed Africans are looking for a cultured black woman and a shoulder to cry on, the should encourage their fellow half breeds abroad to teach and maintain African values among their kids growing up overseas. The mentality of the ones migrating will always be different for many reasons like you mentioned.

If you think your experience is the same with an African that migrated overseas then that is a BIG FAT LIE. You cant compare because you dont see things the same way and they still have to join thru few hoops unlike you.

That said, there are good people out there, just very few.

babygirlfl:


same thing can be said too of the black man who emigrated.

Most black men acclimatise quicker due to the stigma, and maintain the blackness. However, with the women, it's like they just got released from doing a 25-year bid in prison, and it's time to explore/exploit everything counter-productive.

SirShymex:


I agree with respect, support, and care - but women in general always take love for granted. There has to be check and balances. Once you show a woman you're in love, she'd make you a su.cker. Anyway, I'm not into love - it's an emotion for suckers.

There are rules to this shiit.

Well some of our black men lack the bolded yet expect to be worshipped.

Missy89:

Most Africans abroad are usually interested in relationships that would benefit them either financially or what not. The men are not the only one struggling abroad. The story is the same for every immigrant regardless the gender except for very few.

If half breed Africans are looking for a cultured black woman and a shoulder to cry on, the should encourage their fellow half breeds abroad to teach and maintain African values among their kids growing up overseas. The mentality of the ones migrating will always be different for many reasons like you mentioned.

If you think your experience is the same with an African that migrated overseas then that is a BIG FAT LIE. You cant compare because you dont see things the same way and they still have to join thru few hoops unlike you.

That said, there are good people out there, just very few.

The bold just added credence to everything I've been saying. So, they're basically opportunists, no? The struggle is real and I can't knock their hustle.

Personally, I don't have a problem with that, hence I don't really venture into their world. However, what I've have a problem is when people start peddling something that isn't organic, and was induced by what they see as a leeway out of their misery - as the model everyone has to accept. Then it becomes problematic.

babygirlfl:


Well some of our black men lack the bolded yet expect to be worshipped.

Hence it's always necessary to treat people how they treat you, and not by preconceived notions.

SirShymex:


Most black men acclimatise quicker due to the stigma, and maintain the blackness. However, with the women, it's like they just got released from doing a 25-year bid in prison, and it's time to explore/exploit everything counter-productive.

I disagree, In fact the opposite is the case, most black men who migrate abroad just want to live the same way they live in Nigeria. They want to dominate and control their wife. They want a master slave relationship. Some want to beat their wife and get away with it. Please please, until you listen to these women, do not judge them. I just wish I could explain it to you. That said, there are a few women who are like you described.

SirShymex:


Hence it's always necessary to treat people how they treat you, and not by preconceived notions.

You said it and I agree. Now extrapolate the imaginary graph and see that these men could just be getting what they dish out.

SirShymex:


The bold just added credence to everything I've been saying. So, they're basically opportunists, no? The struggle is real and I can't knock their hustle.

Personally, I don't have a problem with that, hence I don't really venture into their world. However, what I've have a problem is when people start peddling something that isn't organic, and was induced by what they see as a leeway out of their misery - as the model everyone has to accept. Then it becomes problematic.

Right,they hardly roll together anyway.

The gender is always not the issue but the upbringing. Better to stick with your kind abroad anyways.

babygirlfl:


I disagree, In fact the opposite is the case, most black men who migrate abroad just want to live the same way they live in Nigeria. They want to dominate and control their wife. They want a master slave relationship. Some want to beat their wife and get away with it. Please please, until you listen to these women, do not judge them. I just wish I could explain it to you. That said, there are a few women who are like you described.

The master-slave relationship is so medieval, and I doubt most Nigerian men who migrated here do that since it's tough to survive based on one person's income. Once you get into the system out here, relationships/marriages become partnerships.

Also, black men are the same everywhere. And in western societies are also patriarchal, with judeo-christian nucleus/foundation. So, it's normal for men to always want to be in control, as the authority. However, the problem with naija women is that: they don't like that, since most of them think with the welfare system, they can survive without the man. And that creates a leeway for them, to explore/exploit the freedom, they never had when they were in Nigeria.

There's nothing to talk about with folks who have no knowledge/understanding of anything. It's better to keep them at bay, and let them do their thing. I know more than enough already.

babygirlfl:


I disagree, In fact the opposite is the case, most black men who migrate abroad just want to live the same way they live in Nigeria. They want to dominate and control their wife. They want a master slave relationship. Some want to beat their wife and get away with it. Please please, until you listen to these women, do not judge them. I just wish I could explain it to you. That said, there are a few women who are like you described.

Exactly!.

Missy89:

Right,they hardly roll together anyway.

The gender is always not the issue but the upbringing. Better to stick with your kind abroad anyways.

That's the truth. Forcing it will always cause a conflict of interest and a clash of two different worlds/experiences.

Hence you'll always see me tell certain folks to move over on here from time to time.

SirShymex:


The master-slave relationship is so medieval, and I doubt most Nigerian men who migrated here do that since it's tough to survive based on one person's income. Once you get into the system out here, relationships/marriages become partnerships.

Also, black men are the same everywhere. And in western societies are also patriarchal, with judeo-christian nucleus/foundation. So, it's normal for men to always want to be in control, as the authority. However, the problem with naija women is that: they don't like that, since most of them think with the welfare system, they can survive without the man. And that creates a leeway for them, to explore/exploit the freedom, they never had when they were in Nigeria.

There's nothing to talk about with folks who have no knowledge/understanding of anything. It's better to keep them at bay, and let them do their thing. I know more than enough already.

This is not true o.

I have seen many naija couples here and the story is always the opposite. You are way off on this one.

Why do you think most Nigerian men kill their wives abroad? A typical African man do not understand how to deal with a woman that earns considerable income and has the power to enforce laws that gives her equal rights. Most of them do not understand how to deal with this issue.

Missy89:

This is not true o.

I have seen many naija couples here and the story is always the opposite. You are way off on this one.

Why do you think most Nigerian men kill their wives abroad? A typical African man do not understand how to deal with a woman that earns considerable income and has the power to enforce laws that gives her equal rights. Most of them do not understand how to deal with this issue.

Well, I can't really speak about the US, and how Nigerians out there ingratiate themselves with the society/system. My observation is about the UK, a country with a welfare system, single mothers can always exploit, and laws which favour them.

Nigerians out here don't kill their wives.

SirShymex:



The master-slave relationship is so medieval, and I doubt most Nigerian men who migrated here do that since it's tough to survive based on one person's income. Once you get into the system out here, relationships/marriages become partnerships.

Most don't believe in the bolded. The problem is even with both partners working, some black men still want the master slave relationship and when you as a black woman in diaspora disagree, the man accuses you of being unsupportive. In fact, what you just wrote proves what we have been saying.

SirShymex:


Also, black men are the same everywhere. And in western societies are also patriarchal, with judeo-christian nucleus/foundation. So, it's normal for men to always want to be in control, as the authority. However, the problem with naija women is that: they don't like that, since most of them think with the welfare system, they can survive without the man. And that creates a leeway for them, to explore/exploit the freedom, they never had when they were in Nigeria.

I personally hate the world control and do not think it should exist within the marriage. I prefer partnership.I have read this many time. The welfare is not the only reason why these women divorce. Have you not seen women who are working divorcees?

SirShymex:


There's nothing to talk about with folks who have no knowledge/understanding of anything. It's better to keep them at bay, and let them do their thing. I know more than enough already.

Do not judge them then. I am a black woman that migrated. Talk to me

SirShymex:


Well, I can't really speak about the US, and how Nigerians out there ingratiate themselves with the society/system. My observation is about the UK, a country with a welfare system, single mothers can always exploit, and laws which favour them.

Nigerians out here don't kill their wives.

Ah i see. The story is not the same everywhere.

They might not be killing their wives out there but they are not changing their mentality because they live in a more civilized society. Patriarchy or not, they want subordinates not partners everywhere. Cant deal!

Missy89:


Ah i see. The story is not the same everywhere.

They might not be killing their wives out there but they are not changing their mentality because they live in a more civilized society. Patriarchy or not, they want subordinates not partners everywhere. Cant deal!

Exactly, their mentality is the same.

babygirlfl:

Most don't believe in the bolded. The problem is even with both partners working, some black men still want the master slave relationship and when you as a black woman in diaspora disagree, the man accuses you of being unsupportive. In fact, what you just wrote proves what we have been saying.

I don't think the society is even conducive for a master-slave relationship - it's tough. So, even if they desire it subconsciously - consciously they'll have to adapt, to survive. Averagely, you can't do it all by yourself out here, especially if you're a man with kids. You need the support system women provide. However, most of these women aren't loyal/supportive, and it has to always be about them. And once they have leverage, it's time to start exploiting everything. What type of supportive woman gives her husband a curfew? What type of woman kicks her husband out of the house? They all want emasculated men cos there's a certain weakness in men that the society/system exposes in black men.

I personally hate the world control and do not think it should exist within the marriage. I prefer partnership.I have read this many time. The welfare is not the only reason why these women divorce. Have you not seen women who are working divorcees?

Control in this context is about being the team leader, and exerting authority in decision making. Not the master-slave type of control. Working divorcees still get a lot of perks for being single mothers, and that's something most women like to exploit. The kids are ace, and you know how this country care so much about minors. Dads don't really get that. That's how skewed everything is. Thank God things are changing now.

Do not judge them then. I am a black woman that migrated. Talk to me

Not judging anyone, but it's always better to stick to those who can connect with, and in your comfort zone. If you're as cultured as my mum, then we can talk - at least I can relate to her.

Missy89:

Ah i see. The story is not the same everywhere.

They might not be killing their wives out there but they are not changing their mentality because they live in a more civilized society. Patriarchy or not, they want subordinates not partners everywhere. Cant deal!

Is that why you're into 'em white boys?

SirShymex:


Is that why you're into 'em white boys?

I wont comment on that!

Missy89:


I wont comment on that!

Lol, cos you know I'm never wrong.

Anyway, each to their own.

SirShymex:


I don't think the society is even conducive for a master-slave relationship - it's tough. So, even if they desire it subconsciously - consciously they'll have to adapt,[b][/b] to survive. Averagely, you can't do it all by yourself out here, especially if you're a man with kids. You need the support system women provides. However, most of these women aren't loyal/supportive, and it has to always be about them. And once they have leverage, it's time to start exploiting everything. What type of supportive woman gives her husband a curfew? What type of woman kicks her husband out of the house? They all want emasculated men cos there's a certain weakness in men that the society/system exposes in black men.

Control in this context is about being the team leader, and exerting authority in decision making. Not the master-slave type of control. Working divorcees still get a lot of perks for being single mothers, and that's something most women like to exploit. The kids are ace, and you know how this country care so much about minors. Dads don't really get that. That's how skewed everything is. Thank God things are changing now.

Not judging anyone, but it's always better to stick to those who can connect with, and in your comfort zone. If you're as cultured as my mum, then we can talk - at least I can relate to her.

The problem is that most of them don't adapt. That's why they turn around and blame the society and women. I agree with you on the bit about sticking around with the people you can connect with.

babygirlfl:


The problem is that most of them don't adapt. That's why they turn around and blame the society and women. I agree with you on the bit about sticking around with the people you can connect with.

Nah, most do adapt. But what you can't adapt to as a man is being emasculated and bossed around by a woman, with curfews and shiit.

SirShymex:


Nah, most do adapt. But what you can't adapt to as a man is being emasculated and bossed around by a woman, with curfews and shiit.

Ok then, I guess we leave it at that.

babygirlfl:


Ok then, I guess we leave it at that.

Thanks for your understanding.

SirShymex:


Thanks for your understanding.

babygirlfl:

Or you want an e-kiss for that?

Now the whole topic winds down with no change/difference, same old story. I just laugh at how people waste precious time on internet all to no avail. This whole junk of five pages won't stop Chiamaka01 and Remi02's BP from being paid on Saturday.