princebeetee:
@ifoundmyperfect- i didn't date anyone from March 2012 to November 2012 when this guy came along. all through 2013, i just remained friends with guys,nothing intimate or serious. had 1 suitor then, a Witness while i'm a Catholic turned Winners. we both called it off based on this and other differences.January 2014, dated a colleague's son but not for long. had another suitor, my classmate in Uni, but let him go cause he's from the same place with my sister's former husband. it would have been a useless effort bringing him home. been technically riding solo since April 2014.

princebeetee:
November 2012, my mom came visiting and she told me about a son of her former colleague who she’ll like me to meet ( for marriage purposes). I wasn’t particularly excited because I’d just come off a relationship that left me totally broken and disgusted about dating men. Anyway, I still travelled home the following weekend to be a good girl.
I met the guy and like i feared, i wasn’t interested. First off, dude told me same day that he wants a relatonship that will led to marriage. I told him that we will need to be friends basically, know ourselves for compactibility and perhaps develop feelings for each other. Deep down, i just didn’t like him for no concrete reason.
He called a couple of times and our discussions were boring and tiring. I’m a pretty jovial girl and can keep a convo going but with this guy, it was always a task. i make a joke on whatsapp and i have to explain the joke. I use a smiley and i need to explain the meaning. I use basic abbreviations and i must explain. Trust me, it was a task chatting with him. Calls wasn’t any better cause we’ll stay on the line for minutes quiet cause there was nothing interesting to talk about. Getting to know him was more like a question-answer session.
I told my mom the dude was a bore and i didn;t see any reason to like him let alone love. I also told the guy i wasn’t interested in any marriage talks with him cause there was no basis for even friendship.
Fast foward to around September 2013. Same dude called me from Ireland and i was pretty surprised. We got talking again and it was still the same marry me marry me talk. I told him same thing, ‘’ i dont know you enough to want to marry you’’. We aren’t even common friends!! All i know is that my folks know his family, they’re christains with a good background and his cousins who are my parents neighbours say he’s a good guy.
Fast forward to October 2014. Dude called again and i decided to give him a chance. we’ve been on&off and i’ve been trying to LIKE HIM to no avail. He doesn’t talk much which makes communication a bit hard. He appears responsible, has good values, talks like someone who has read lots of books on marriage( i have too) but he lacks any sense of humour and doesn’t excite me to talk to.i don’t know how he acts when angry, if he’ll help with chores, if he’s truly kind and caring. He sounds all goody goody on the phone as that is our only means of communication for now. I am 29, working and the guy is 34 schooling& on part time job in Ireland.
just recently, he told me he’d be done with his masters program in March 2015 and will like us to settle down by April when he comes back to Nigeria. I pushed the idea aside cause my love button for him hasn’t been activated. Everytime he talks about wedding plans, i change the topic and i’m beginning to feel sorry for him. It’s been 2 years counting and we haven’t made much head way. I can’t even say why i want to marry him if i’m asked. I can’t say i love him.
I want to love this guy but don’t know how to. I want to develop basic chemistry for him. I told him about my former relationship that ended awfully 2 years ago and he thinks that maybe the reason why i’m cold towards him in particular because he wants to be serious with me. I have cordial relationships with other guys who i enjoy talking to instead but don’t know why this guy’s own is different.

Please i need tips on how to get to love this guy so that the marriage will work and be interesting if i eventually agree to his request. My folks like this guy cause they know his family and background and they want me to accept him. I want to but i really don’t have feelings for him. My mom says it’s possible i’ll love him after wedding and that love grows but it sounds weird. I don’t want to get married for the sake of it even though i’m not young.
PS- i used another username to protect myself. Many thanks to everyone who will be patient enough to read my long post and advice me likewise.

The simple truth is that you are carried away cos he called from Ireland. That's why you are seeking advice to develop chemistry for someone you do not love. Nigerian women and their fish brains!

chinziaski:
To be sincere, he is looking for the same common ground that you're looking but he is not finding it easy.