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Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! - Romance - Nairaland

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Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Nobody: 12:06am On Jan 19, 2015
I once created a thread about introvert and extrovert in love, seeking for opinions of my fellow NL members on how to cope but I didn't get any.
Firstly I know it's not all guys that can date a chronic introverted girl like me, a boring home girl. So am really lucky to have a faithful guy like my bf, we will be 4years soon.
The problem now is he has been complaining so much that am boring cryI cnt change that, it's not my fault. He does most of the talking in d relationship and get bored by the time I stop replying him. I am not this romantic or adventurous extrovert type of a person, I love him so much but I haven't been able to show him tru my actions.
I dnt kiss him, tell him 'i love u' to his face, go outing with him and so on.
I want to improve but I dnt know how, if we get to break up cos of my introverted nature am sure the next bf will leave me cos of that too. Please my fellow introverts how have u been coping in ur relationship with an extrovert? And I need the extrovert ladies to give me tips on how to be more romantic and outspoken embarassed I cnt afford to lose a cool and faithful bf cos of this.
I dnt like this introverted nature self.

2 Likes

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by melvin0004(m): 12:12am On Jan 19, 2015
u need 2 socialise more n try to be relax when u guys are together.

1 Like

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Nobody: 12:44am On Jan 19, 2015
You need to see yourself as being selfish before you can make any meaningful changes in your relationship.

You need to think more about the guy here, and less about yourself. I am an introvert as well, and I had to struggle to let go of my self-centredness to improve on my relationship with my family.

Go out of your way to make him happy. Don't just sit in your comfort zone and make complaints.

11 Likes

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by ayobase: 12:57am On Jan 19, 2015
how often do u give IT to him.


Believe me, the more u give, the less he sees u as an introvert. ........ no kiss? lobatan......oginikemedu!
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by bebe2(f): 1:13am On Jan 19, 2015
Dont u have opinions? Or gist frm daily encounters dat u can share with him?

Relationships can get boring if its only one person dat is providing d entertainment.

Try to loosen up, do new things even if u think its outside ur norm.

Ehhhhh, after four yrs still bf?
I beg sing dat Beyonce song for am oo

Abi introverts no dey sing grin

1 Like

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by sigmundfreud(m): 2:29am On Jan 19, 2015
I was kinda introverted at a stage in my life, probably still have the traits I just evolved over the years into a kind of ambiversion.
1. Be less self conscious, introverts are too self monitoring and sometimes too serious about themselves.
2. Be spontaneous...just do things without thinking too much of the consequences. Like pinch his b*utt
3. Talk to your partner.. or start a conversation, he will take over from you (it doesn't really have to make sense)
4. Start by making a list of things to talk about with him, after sometime, it will come without effort
5. Pay attention when he's talking, you find one or two things to keep the conversation going
6. Ask questions as if you are really interested. Express yourself... Tell him you love him if you do, you will get used to saying it.
7. Take him out or suggest it,even when you don't feel like it.
8. Get to know his friends, ask him about them and follow-up on the discussion.
9. Stop thinking about what you are ( introvert), and start be-ing what you want (un-introverted or whatever). It's a process and thinking " I'm made this way" will not help
10. Don't stop trying if 1 to 9 does not work
grin

17 Likes

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Mynd44: 6:32am On Jan 19, 2015
The OP never jam person like me. Introvert fire, you wee talk!!!

3 Likes

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by lilmax(m): 7:26am On Jan 19, 2015
Your problem is you dont know how to love,not the introvert thing

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Nobody: 7:42am On Jan 19, 2015
lilmax:
Your problem is you dont know how to love,not the introvert thing
Tell me how to love kiss

2 Likes

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Nobody: 7:43am On Jan 19, 2015
[quote author=ayobase post=29919811]how often do u give IT to him.


Believe me, the more u give, the less he sees u as an introvert. ........ no kiss? lobatan......oginikemedu![/quote
IT?
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Nobody: 8:10am On Jan 19, 2015
You should be evaluated by a Psychiatrist (an M.D. - do not confuse with psychologist) for social anxiety, or other, disorders. There are medications that can help you.
Second, working with a therapist on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT therapy identifies cognitive errors that you're making and corrects them. It will help you enormously. Social skills are not an inborn trait... they are a learned behavior. Those people around you that can strike up a conversation with anyone and are called popular invested a lot if time and effort in learning those social skills. If you make the same investment, you can learn - even master those same social skills. CBT will help you do this. Take it from one formerly very shy person to another - CBT is what you need, get going on it soon.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Nutase: 8:17am On Jan 19, 2015
Your bf is a reformed introvert. The best people to date as an introvert is a sanguine. They will deliver you from d spirit of introversion and make you do things u never believed u could do.

1 Like

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Nobody: 8:29am On Jan 19, 2015
classicB:
I once created a thread about introvert and extrovert in love, seeking for opinions of my fellow NL members on how to cope but I didn't get any.
Firstly I know it's not all guys that can date a chronic introverted girl like me, a boring home girl. So am really lucky to have a faithful guy like my bf, we will be 4years soon.
The problem now is he has been complaining so much that am boring cryI cnt change that, it's not my fault. He does most of the talking in d relationship and get bored by the time I stop replying him. I am not this romantic or adventurous extrovert type of a person, I love him so much but I haven't been able to show him tru my actions.
I dnt kiss him, tell him 'i love u' to his face, go outing with him and so on.
I want to improve but I dnt know how, if we get to break up cos of my introverted nature am sure the next bf will leave me cos of that too. Please my fellow introverts how have u been coping in ur relationship with an extrovert? And I need the extrovert ladies to give me tips on how to be more romantic and outspoken embarassed I cnt afford to lose a cool and faithful bf cos of this.
I dnt like this introverted nature self.

You may not be a talker, but you can still do a lot of things without talking

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by eleojo23: 8:54am On Jan 19, 2015
You have to loosen up a bit and try to see the world from his own perspective. Since you love him, I believe you'll work at it no matter how difficult it may seem. Your different natures have their peculiarities but a balance between the two is needed and that may involve doing things that both of you are not naturally inclined to do.
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Nobody: 9:14am On Jan 19, 2015
Aunty look at that man and tell him you love him. If it takes you several hours to get it out pls do, its only three words that won't kill you. Once you get it across, you will feel a lot better. Also, being romantic doesn't take a lot of efforts. Just looking into his eyes with your heart opened is romance on its own. Try, you will not only be fine your Bobo will feel better relaxed with you. Cheers!

1 Like

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by ayobase: 9:21am On Jan 19, 2015
classicB:
it?


Yes. "it" is unisex.
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Nobody: 10:33am On Jan 19, 2015
Nutase:
Your bf is a reformed introvert. The best people to date is an introvert is a sanguine. They will deliver you from d spirit of introversion and make you do things u never believed u could do.
He isn't introvert
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Nutase: 10:51am On Jan 19, 2015
classicB:

He isn't introvert
I didnt say he is an introvert. I called him a reformed introvert. This simply means he has learnt to socialize and initiate conversations but gets hooked along d line and needs your assistance to keep the flow going. A sanguine who is naturally an extrovert doesnt need your contribution to keep a converstion going and lively.
That is who u need baby.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by obowunmi(m): 11:01am On Jan 19, 2015
Don't force it.

A good man will accept you for who you are.

Follow current events, ask him about it...

1 Like

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Nobody: 11:04am On Jan 19, 2015
classicB:
I once created a thread about introvert and extrovert in love, seeking for opinions of my fellow NL members on how to cope but I didn't get any.
Firstly I know it's not all guys that can date a chronic introverted girl like me, a boring home girl. So am really lucky to have a faithful guy like my bf, we will be 4years soon.
The problem now is he has been complaining so much that am boring cryI cnt change that, it's not my fault. He does most of the talking in d relationship and get bored by the time I stop replying him. I am not this romantic or adventurous extrovert type of a person, I love him so much but I haven't been able to show him tru my actions.
I dnt kiss him, tell him 'i love u' to his face, go outing with him and so on.
I want to improve but I dnt know how, if we get to break up cos of my introverted nature am sure the next bf will leave me cos of that too. Please my fellow introverts how have u been coping in ur relationship with an extrovert? And I need the extrovert ladies to give me tips on how to be more romantic and outspoken embarassed I cnt afford to lose a cool and faithful bf cos of this.
I dnt like this introverted nature self.
Loosen up.
Be a bit selfless.
Think & Act like an extrovert, with time you'll become one.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Femsyn(m): 11:16am On Jan 19, 2015
classicB:
I once created a thread about introvert and extrovert in love, seeking for opinions of my fellow NL members on how to cope but I didn't get any.
Firstly I know it's not all guys that can date a chronic introverted girl like me, a boring home girl. So am really lucky to have a faithful guy like my bf, we will be 4years soon.
The problem now is he has been complaining so much that am boring cryI cnt change that, it's not my fault. He does most of the talking in d relationship and get bored by the time I stop replying him. I am not this romantic or adventurous extrovert type of a person, I love him so much but I haven't been able to show him tru my actions.
I dnt kiss him, tell him 'i love u' to his face, go outing with him and so on.
I want to improve but I dnt know how, if we get to break up cos of my introverted nature am sure the next bf will leave me cos of that too. Please my fellow introverts how have u been coping in ur relationship with an extrovert? And I need the extrovert ladies to give me tips on how to be more romantic and outspoken embarassed I cnt afford to lose a cool and faithful bf cos of this.
I dnt like this introverted nature self.

ClassicB, please when is your birth day and month?
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by emekaD3(m): 11:44am On Jan 19, 2015
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by tmosco(m): 12:13pm On Jan 19, 2015
U just have to force ur self to socialize u can't just live ur life without anybody especially in dis country of ours where connection is very important. It start small b4 it becomes an habit.
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Nobody: 12:24pm On Jan 19, 2015
obowunmi:
Don't force it.

A good man will accept you for who you are.

Follow current events, ask him about it...
That's not entirely fair now, is it? How can you relate to someone who give you little to work with? A good man needs to feel loved too.

OP, you have to try and live in the moment. Whatever you're feeling, say it, do it, show it. This is not my advice to you just for your boyfriend, it's bigger than that. You need to speak up for yourself in this life to enjoy it fully.

6 Likes

Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by mployer(m): 1:02pm On Jan 19, 2015
Op your problem is beyond introversion. Loosen up on selfishness and extreme self-consciousness.
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by AZeD1(m): 1:25pm On Jan 19, 2015
You are too self conscious and you have to let go of that.
Start by telling/showing him how you feel.
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Sweetmarriage: 1:54pm On Jan 19, 2015
classicB:
I once created a thread about introvert and extrovert in love, seeking for opinions of my fellow NL members on how to cope but I didn't get any.
Firstly I know it's not all guys that can date a chronic introverted girl like me, a boring home girl. So am really lucky to have a faithful guy like my bf, we will be 4years soon.
The problem now is he has been complaining so much that am boring cryI cnt change that, it's not my fault. He does most of the talking in d relationship and get bored by the time I stop replying him. I am not this romantic or adventurous extrovert type of a person, I love him so much but I haven't been able to show him tru my actions.
I dnt kiss him, tell him 'i love u' to his face, go outing with him and so on.
I want to improve but I dnt know how, if we get to break up cos of my introverted nature am sure the next bf will leave me cos of that too. Please my fellow introverts how have u been coping in ur relationship with an extrovert? And I need the extrovert ladies to give me tips on how to be more romantic and outspoken embarassed I cnt afford to lose a cool and faithful bf cos of this.
I dnt like this introverted nature self.

Helo. I will like posting your question to our facebook community page. On facebook search for Nigerian Papalette. I think you will get better mature responses there. But i need your permission.
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Nobody: 3:06pm On Jan 19, 2015
Femsyn:


ClassicB, please when is your birth day and month?
Why asking??
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Nobody: 3:07pm On Jan 19, 2015
Sweetmarriage:


Helo. I will like posting your question to our facebook community page. On facebook search for Nigerian Papalette. I think you will get better mature responses there. But i need your permission.
No sir.
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by Femsyn(m): 3:25pm On Jan 19, 2015
classicB:

Why asking??

trying to see if your nature could be tied to your horoscope.
But its fine if you dont want to.
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by pretty050(f): 5:31pm On Jan 19, 2015
Mynd44:
The OP never jam person like me. Introvert fire, you wee talk!!!
tnk you there certain people u will jst flow with, as an introvert when I jist with friends. Some peeps be like she is a snub, is she pretending? You should be free with him after all this year haba. It will be easier if he's a sanguine.
Re: Introversion Is Destroying My Relationship, Please Help!!! by crackhaus: 5:41pm On Jan 19, 2015
classicB:
I once created a thread about introvert and extrovert in love, seeking for opinions of my fellow NL members on how to cope but I didn't get any.
Firstly I know it's not all guys that can date a chronic introverted girl like me, a boring home girl. So am really lucky to have a faithful guy like my bf, we will be 4years soon.
The problem now is he has been complaining so much that am boring cryI cnt change that, it's not my fault. He does most of the talking in d relationship and get bored by the time I stop replying him. I am not this romantic or adventurous extrovert type of a person, I love him so much but I haven't been able to show him tru my actions.
I dnt kiss him, tell him 'i love u' to his face, go outing with him and so on.
I want to improve but I dnt know how, if we get to break up cos of my introverted nature am sure the next bf will leave me cos of that too. Please my fellow introverts how have u been coping in ur relationship with an extrovert? And I need the extrovert ladies to give me tips on how to be more romantic and outspoken embarassed I cnt afford to lose a cool and faithful bf cos of this.
I dnt like this introverted nature self.
After four years of dating, you're still uptight around him?

Being introverted is the least cause of this, I assure you - even introverts tend to loosen up and become sociable with/around people they're most comfortable with.

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