Seriously I don't blame ladies who don't want to marry men with alive mothers. Imagine a woman's mother in-law who asked her son to divorce his wife coz d wife earns more salary than him, even wen she does almost everything in d house without complain. Abi a mother in-law who asked her daughter in-law, d wife to her son not to go meet her husband but stay with her as she was made to sell snacks in d streets to feed d mother in-law and her children. God have mercy!

A mother inlaw from hell indeed.
I think the worst ones are the uneducated, never left the village and very idle.
Very toxic, I keep my mother inlaw at arms length.
Some are good though, I envy people with great mother inlaws.

African woman palava...

Pls throw more light on the details of ur story. All I know is tis in the power of the hubby to protect and love his wife without distancing himself from his mother. Wisdom is profitable to direct.

Sparkle777:
Pls throw more light on the details of ur story. All I know is tis in the power of the hubby to protect and love his wife without distancing himself from his mother. Wisdom is profitable to direct.

The wives also have a responsibility to themselves. If your mother in law slaps you or walks into your home and starts telling you how things will run, you have a responsibility to yourself as a woman to respectfully defend your territory. When your mother in law is in her home, she can do whatever she wants. When she comes to her son and daughter in laws home, she needs to understand that it is a different story and it does not have to be her son who let's her know that. I mean that second scenario from the OP is just something I do not get. How does a grown adult let someone control their lives up to that point. How is that the husband's responsibility? If you cannot open your mouth to say no then you probably should not be married. Just find a good madam and dedicate your life to serving others.

soulglo:


The wives also have a responsibility to themselves. If your mother in law slaps you or walks into your home and starts telling you how things will run, you have a responsibility to yourself as a woman to respectfully defend your territory. When your mother in law is in her home, she can do whatever she wants. When she comes to her son and daughter in laws home, she needs to understand that it is a different story and it does not have to be her son who let's her know that. I mean that second scenario from the OP is just something I do not get. How does a grown adult let someone control their lives up to that point. How is that the husband's responsibility? If you cannot open your mouth to say no then you probably should not be married. Just find a good madam and dedicate your life to serving others.

Can a woman just walk in and slap a wife? Hmm, it depends on how ur hubby portrays u to his ppl,men can be two faced atimes. But its always good to be nice but firm. Learn the family u ll be married into and act accordingly. As I said wisdom is profitable to direct.

yaskarahyelhope:
Seriously I don't blame ladies who don't want to marry men with alive mothers. Imagine a woman's mother in-law who asked her son to divorce his wife coz d wife earns more salary than him, even wen she does almost everything in d house without complain. Abi a mother in-law who asked her daughter in-law, d wife to her son not to go meet her husband but stay with her as she was made to sell snacks in d streets to feed d mother in-law and her children. God have mercy!

That is the same way no one would see anything wrong when your future daughter in law wishes you and anyone with this idea dead before they marry your sons

WHat goes around must come around

yaskarahyelhope:
Seriously I don't blame ladies who don't want to marry men with alive mothers. Imagine a woman's mother in-law who asked her son to divorce his wife coz d wife earns more salary than him, even wen she does almost everything in d house without complain. Abi a mother in-law who asked her daughter in-law, d wife to her son not to go meet her husband but stay with her as she was made to sell snacks in d streets to feed d mother in-law and her children. God have mercy!

stop wishing for bad thing cos u are going to be a mother inlaw someday

Sparkle777:


Can a woman just walk in and slap a wife? Hmm, it depends on how ur hubby portrays u to his ppl,men can be two faced atimes. But its always good to be nice but firm. Learn the family u ll be married into and act accordingly. As I said wisdom is profitable to direct.

Not always. Sometimes it is the way you portray yourself. If you come in acting like you will take anything just so you can marry the man and the family accepts you based on that then there's nothing much the man can do. Like I said, she has a responsibility to herself. I cannot see how anybody who knows me can walk up to me and say "this is what you must do" when it comes to personal and intimate issues in my household. It just does not happen and it does not happen because I have not left any opportunity for it. Learn the family you'll be married to and act accordingly has to be the worst advice I have ever heard. Sorry. That's your family by extension as your original family becomes your family by extension when you get married. You two make your family decisions and no in law of any kind should be bold enough to walk in and try to dictate what happens there. Unless of course as I said earlier, you leave room for that.

"Ladies who don't want to marry men with alive mothers"


That's new!


I hope such ladies don't mind dying too before their sons get married.

What sort of mother in law is that? How can a woman advise her son to divorce his wife just because she earns more? I hope the husband isnt a mamas boy and ready to stand by his wife. Her daughter in law is this hardworking and yet she isnt satisfied? It could be that she never approved of their marriage in the first place. Seems they have allowed the mother in law to interfere in their marriage. Does she live with them?

Stop acting like witches and wishing other human beings death. Solution is simple don't pretend to be totally obedient and ar-se kissers because you want a husband and if after you marry mother in law turns nasty you stand up to her and face her instead of smiling to her face and wishing her death behind.
Ehnn if she asks the man to divorce you let the man answer her by himself nah, even if he divorces you did he kill you?
Abeg stop pretending and face your issues

Sophyrocks:
What sort of mother in law is that? How can a woman advise her son to divorce his wife just because she earns more? I hope the husband isn't a mamas boy and ready to stand by his wife. Her daughter in law is this hardworking and yet she isnt satisfied? It could be that she never approved of their marriage in the first place. Seems they have allowed the mother in law to interfere in their marriage. Does she live with them?

or possibly the wife was shoving it down his throat.

Why should anyone ask her son to divorce because there is more money?
How would the mother in law even know who earns what. That is only possible if someone has been singing real loud.

Perhaps we have not heard everything. It is possible that the girl was very rude. Comments like I pay the bills here etc...

Besides you owe your mother in law the same respect you have for your mother and even more. No matter what she says, no need to be rude.

mutter:


or possibly the wife was shoving it down his throat.

Why should anyone ask her son to divorce because there is more money?
How would the mother in law even know who earns what. That is only possible if someone has been singing real loud.

Perhaps we have not heard everything. It is possible that the girl was very rude. Comments like I pay the bills here etc...

Besides you owe your mother in law the same respect you have for your mother and even more. No matter what she says, no need to be rude.

I see your point. But its also possible the husband is aware of her salary and could be the type who doesnt keep his mouth shut either. Its not all men that can handle their wives being higher earners. He must have spilled it to his mother. As we are told, the wife has been supportive. It looks like the mother in law interferes a lot in their marriage. Either ways, we are just assuming scenarios and do not have the full knowledge of the whole thing.

Sophyrocks:


I see your point. But its also possible the husband is aware of her salary and could be the type who doesnt keep his mouth shut either. Its not all men that can handle their wives being higher earners. He must have spilled it to his mother. As we are told, the wife has been supportive. It looks like the mother in law interferes a lot in their marriage. Either ways, we are just assuming scenarios and do not have the full knowledge of the whole thing.

as you say, we are assuming. Also possible the mother never liked her from the start.

All this inlaws trash ehn...very common in Africa But seriously terrible in Nigeria. What on earth should be a mothers business in the running of the affairs of her married son's home !!! *Speaking generally*

soulglo:


Not always. Sometimes it is the way you portray yourself. If you come in acting like you will take anything just so you can marry the man and the family accepts you based on that then there's nothing much the man can do. Like I said, she has a responsibility to herself. I cannot see how anybody who knows me can walk up to me and say "this is what you must do" when it comes to personal and intimate issues in my household. It just does not happen and it does not happen because I have not left any opportunity for it. Learn the family you'll be married to and act accordingly has to be the worst advice I have ever heard. Sorry. That's your family by extension as your original family becomes your family by extension when you get married. You two make your family decisions and no in law of any kind should be bold enough to walk in and try to dictate what happens there. Unless of course as I said earlier, you leave room for that.

Hey, apart from misunderstanding me, you ve not gotten my analysis but it s all good.

Sophyrocks:

I see your point. But its also possible the husband is aware of her salary and could be the type who doesnt keep his mouth shut either. Its not all men that can handle their wives being higher earners. He must have spilled it to his mother. As we are told, the wife has been supportive. It looks like the mother in law interferes a lot in their marriage. Either ways, we are just assuming scenarios and do not have the full knowledge of the whole thing.

If the mother interferes take it up with the man you married instead of wishing another human being dead jare

[b][/b]

Sparkle777:
Pls throw more light on the details of ur story. All I know is tis in the power of the hubby to protect and love his wife without distancing himself from his mother. Wisdom is profitable to direct.

U̶̲̥̅̊ jst nail it, it all depend on d husband.

And 2 those people who re wishing thier mother inlaw dead, jst knw dat wat goes around comes around.

vital1:
[b][/b]

U̶̲̥̅̊ jst nail it, it all depend on d husband.

And 2 those people who re wishing there mother inlaw dead, jst knw dat wat goes around comes around.

Thank u oo my dear. If a man gives his family the impression dat u re cruel, stingy, controlling etc. His family is bound to see u that way. Am an example of how a husband can damage his wifes reputation bfor his ppl.
So this goes out to men out there, no matter the issue btw u and wifey ,never talk bad abt her to ur ppl. You may forgive her and even forget the issue but have forever sold her out to ur family.

Gbam.50million likes

aisha2:
Stop acting like witches and wishing other human beings death. Solution is simple don't pretend to be totally obedient and ar-se kissers because you want a husband and if after you marry mother in law turns nasty you stand up to her and face her instead of smiling to her face and wishing her death behind.
Ehnn if she asks the man to divorce you let the man answer her by himself nah, even if he divorces you did he kill you?
Abeg stop pretending and face your issues

Witches and wizards

We all want to be mother in laws one day ba esp those with sons. ok o kontinu.

I never met my MIL cos she died when my hubby was really young and it annoys me to no end when people insinuate that I am 'lucky' like seriously. .I love my husband and it breaks my heart that a child had to lose his mother at an age where he (and his siblings) needed her the most.

Besides I am still trying to understand the Godliness or christlikesness in 'praying' for people to die. .. not just mother in laws but anyone na wa o

mutter:


or possibly the wife was shoving it down his throat.

Why should anyone ask her son to divorce because there is more money?
How would the mother in law even know who earns what. That is only possible if someone has been singing real loud.

Perhaps we have not heard everything. It is possible that the girl was very rude. Comments like I pay the bills here etc...

Besides you owe your mother in law the same respect you have for your mother and even more. No matter what she says, no need to be rude.

@last paragraph, the ideal not necessarily the norm. MILs do not treat their DILs as daughters.

If my mom doesn't hear from me for a while , she picks up the phone and call me. If I do not call my MIL., it might be a problem

If my mom comes to say hi, I can say 'mom please prepare rice' and she will. If I did not ask, avenue might even call to ask.

If I try that with my MIL

I love my mother in law to be..I call her maami(my mum) she's just like my biological mother whenever I visit her we sleep in the same place,interact as if am the real daughter,she tells me lots of jokes and always call me on phone if I didn't call her am just lucky and blessed to have them all as a wonderful inlaws

bukatyne:


@last paragraph, the ideal not necessarily the norm. MILs do not treat their DILs as daughters.

If my mom doesn't hear from me for a while , she picks up the phone and call me. If I do not call my MIL., it might be a problem

If my mom comes to say hi, I can say 'mom please prepare rice' and she will. If I did not ask, avenue might even call to ask.

If I try that with my MIL

You got that right

I just told someone that same line
Your mother in law can never be like your mother
Cut out the cliche
Your mother is your mother your MIL is your MIL,make no mistake about it

I could be driving back from work tired and very hungry and call my mom on the phone to please cook me some yam and she will gladly do
Can I ask same of my MIL?
My mother sees me struggling with the kids,she will go make her own food,an MIL will wait for you to serve her food no matter how exhausted you are.
Mom can say something and I totally disagree and tell her mom,I don't agree with you or she asks me to do something and I say mom please I am very tired can it wait till an hour or even next day and it is totally oK with her
Will an MIL understand that?
Your mom sees your husband cooking or cleaning,she is ecstatic she has a son in law that is so sweet and understanding and helps around the house,MIL sees your husband cleaning,she will yell and hate you for turning her beloved son into your maid

Ladies, love your MIL and treat her right but she is not your mother, make no mistake about it

People should please please speak for themselves alone ..

500million likes

babyosisi:


You got that right

I just told someone that same line
Your mother in law can never be like your mother
Cut out the cliche
Your mother is your mother your MIL is your MIL,make no mistake about it

I could be driving back from work tired and very hungry and call my mom on the phone to please cook me some yam and she will gladly do
Can I ask same of my MIL?
My mother sees me struggling with the kids,she will go make her own food,an MIL will wait for you to serve her food no matter how exhausted you are.
Mom can say something and I totally disagree and tell her mom,I don't agree with you or she asks me to do something and I say mom please I am very tired can it wait till an hour or even next day and it is totally oK with her
Will an MIL understand that?
Your mom sees your husband cooking or cleaning,she is ecstatic she has a son in law that is so sweet and understanding and helps around the house,MIL sees your husband cleaning,she will yell and hate you for turning her beloved son into your maid

Ladies, love your MIL and treat her right but she is not your mother, make no mistake about it

My MIL cooks , cleans, fix my kids hair, fold my laundry, she lets me sleeps whenever I'm pooped out and cooks for me. Does my hair, vacuums, scolds hubby in my favour to mention few.

And she's not illiterate , nor a home bred. I'm very good to her with ZERO common misconception that abound. these old folks mostly see through us and read our intentions. They tend to pull back when we leave our guards up especially those kitchen commandants DILs with too many house rules


My home is free for all.. She cooks, eats, drives as she pleases and I do same whenever I visit.

The Golden Rule: Do unto others ...

Ewuro4:
My MIL cooks , cleans, fix my kids hair, fold my laundry, she lets me sleeps whenever I'm pooped out and cooks for me. Does my hair, vacuums, scolds hubby in my favour to mention few.
And she's not illiterate , nor a home bred. I'm very good to her with ZERO common misconception that abound. these old folks mostly see through us and read our intentions. They tend to pull back when we leave our guards up especially those kitchen commandants DILs with too many house rules
My home is free for all.. She cooks, eats, drives as she pleases and I do same whenever I visit.
The Golden Rule: Do unto others ...

Truth is eye service kills us, before we marry we will even offer to carry her on our backs so she wont walk just so we can be termed " good wives" after we marry we start seeing her as a human with faults which we gladly ignored because we desperately wanted to enter.

Women are different sha, some mother in laws hold on to the old ways of doing things while some are progressive. God knows the kind of person I am and so blessed me with a mother in law who am so similar too in a lot of ways. I never had to pretend and never will, when I cant do something I say sorry mummy I don't like this idea, matter ends.

Long and short if you love your husband then realise that this is where he came from and she is a part of your family now. Smiling to her face and wishing her death is witchcraft nothing more nothing less. I had a suitor whose mother screamed at me for something minor and as far as that relationship went I broke it off because I wasn't ready to live with that especially because he didn't caution his mom but even stylishly defended her. So now imagine that because I wanted to just marry I married him and become a prisoner in my home I will be saying Mama and be praying she dies each day God forbid

Aisha2.. My dear I can't even carry my own mothers bag not to talk of another person. I can't pretend oh. What you see is what you get. I need every help I can get whenever they visit. Who has time to be counting meat or fish in the pot? ( I heard people do that) Do I even have time to cook proper sef? She calls me and ask what we feel like eating on my way from work.

I'm way too busy to be picky... I really don't care who takes what as long as nobody gets hurt abeg I don't have strength for senseless fight & pauperish bickering. When I have my own parents that won't even take no for an answer .., they dictate what they want and how they want it so why should I question other parents motives

aisha2:



Women are different sha, some mother in laws hold on to the old ways of doing things while some are progressive. God knows the kind of person I am and so blessed me with a mother in law who am so similar too in a lot of ways. I never had to pretend and never will, when I cant do something I say sorry mummy I don't like this idea, matter ends.

Abeg it's because you're good to her jare. These women were once in our shoes and see through us.. Of course we have disagreements too but a simple I'm sorry ends it (sometimes she just shakes her head and laughs it off sef.. coz I've moved on, I swear I don't want to miss out on any good service she has to offer )

but boohoo our other sisters will start praying for death over their mother in laws.. And God is greater than them let the MIL be mountain of fire prayer warrior gen gen you go hear am