Kneeling is customary in Yoruba culture especially when you're Yoruba. My MIL doesn't give a damn about it coz she's wasn't raised in Nigeria but cant say the same for others.Its an act of showing respect before elders.

my kids were taught to kneel before elders and she liked it so far esp their funny Yoruba accent ; adupe ma

Kneeling for some random young family members because I want a ring on it is a no no .. Orisha bo le gbemi , fimisile boshe bami mehn. I won't dab into what I'm not able to keep up with.

I mostly pray standing throughout during my Moslem days sef my laziness no get part two I swear.

Ewuro4:
Kneeling is customary in Yoruba culture especially when you're Yoruba. My MIL doesn't give a damn about it coz she's wasn't raised in Nigeria but cant say the same for others.Its an act of showing respect before elders.
my kids were taught to kneel before elders and she liked it so far esp their funny Yoruba accent ; adupe ma
Kneeling for some random young family members because I want a ring on it is a no no .. Orisha bo le gbemi , fimisile boshe bami mehn. I won't dab into what I'm not able to keep up with.
I mostly pray standing throughout during my Moslem days sef my laziness no get part two I swear.

Imagine you as a yoruba babe self lol. My sisters will kneel, bow and prostrate even wash his sibblings clothes then come to complain later

bukatyne:

LOL @ last statement
The MIL might be a traditional ruler or from a royal family
There is a difference between a MIL demanding for what her kids don't give her and what clearly her kids give her.
Your friend will be courting serious trouble if she said 'I don't feel like kneeling for MIL and I will not'

Like my mum I tend to kneel or at least courtesy for even non yoruba elderly folks cos my mum has a lot of greetings do's and don't s and my gosh did she drill that into us.(me and my mother are so unalike in alot of ways I guess my dad's genes are stronger ) cos greeting mannerism honestly don't bother me.All those 'sis aunty ' ish my name is dami 'aunty' is not on my birth cert abeg.My younger sis fiance is older than I am and wanted to start calling me 'mummy my kids name' as per married inlaw things I told my sis to tell him to stop it abeg.

My mum tried with no avail to get my siblings to stop calling me by first name but with time and no compulsion my younger bro just says 'sis' Some days he still calls me by name and I see no biggie in it.

She was shocked that I don't even courtesy or help my sis in law with her bag ( you should see her giving me daggers from where she was sat ) Its not like she is a bad person or would necessarily be a 'wicked' MIL she is just traditional about stuff like that.

Funny enough if you are non yoruba she has absolutely no issues with you not kneeling if you say hi sef she will see nothing wrong. I knew that cos she never took offence to any of my igbo friends (and i have loads) not kneeling to greet.But let her hear 'bukky or dami' then you say 'hi' or just stand not even small 'courtesy'(she is abit liberal she no need two knees on the floor just lil courtesy) I will hear wen that day.

She is chilling a bit now sha me and my siblings don show her no be small esp my sister that one even says' hi mum ' just to wind her up and she always falls for it

Kneeling to greet doesn't show respect. I wasn't trained to kneel wen greeting(im frm Delta state) but my MIL is from Edo and she frowns wen I don't kneel to greet her. I had to learn to avoid any troubles. FIL doesn't bother, I greet him d way I like and I respect him a lot. SILS wouldn't expect me kneeling to greet dem.

aisha2:


Imagine you as a yoruba babe self lol. My sisters will kneel, bow and prostrate even wash his sibblings clothes then come to complain later

That's taking it up a notch . I just don't get it but won't badmouth them either coz some families are just too canterkarous to live with.

aisha2:


Imagine you as a yoruba babe self lol. My sisters will kneel, bow and prostrate even wash his sibblings clothes then come to complain later

That is the painful part
Doing it so that you don't hear their mouth
The way God created me,I can't o
Infact first time I stayed with my MIL after marriage,I didn't even sweep the floor and the news got to my husband
I didn't believe I should sweep the floor just because I was a new wife in the family when there were two young relatives including his own young sister,younger than me in the house .
I won't lay down in bed and watch my MIL sweep,never
But i won't have a small girl in the house and I will be sweeping just so they will call me dutiful wife
Mba kwa

Damiso, you're right they have no issues with non yorubas, my dad will say 'shebi omo Yoruba niwo' when you start forming western , I must kneel for my mil when they're present or will hear my history my brother once brought a Hausa lady and see them all ( with dad) speaking and laughing in Hausa sef, she didn't kneel oh

Ewuro4:
Damiso, you're right they have no issues with non yorubas, my dad will say 'shebi omo Yoruba niwo' when you start forming western , I must kneel for my mil when they're present or will hear my history my brother once brought a Hausa lady and see them all ( with dad) speaking and laughing in Hausa sef, she didn't kneel oh

My mum and your dad must be related. 'Sebi omo yoruba niwo' is her exact phrase

Ewuro4:
Damiso, you're right they have no issues with non yorubas, my dad will say 'shebi omo Yoruba niwo' when you start forming western , I must kneel for my mil when they're present or will hear my history my brother once brought a Hausa lady and see them all ( with dad) speaking and laughing in Hausa sef, she didn't kneel oh

So if the elders themselves understand that culture differs why are the young people acting drama and being pretentious then later blame it on the in laws chai.

Hmn, as we no get MIL,what of FILS?

Ewuro4:
Damiso, you're right they have no issues with non yorubas, my dad will say 'shebi omo Yoruba niwo' when you start forming western ,I must kneel for my mil when they're present or will hear my history my brother once brought a Hausa lady and see them all ( with dad) speaking and laughing in Hausa sef, she didn't kneel oh

That is funny
Reminds of something I did for my hubby when his mom is around
When he eats eba he just goes to the sink to watch his hands and eat
First time my MIL Came visiting and after I set the food for hubby,she said ,my wife,where is the wash hand basin and water
Of course I couldn't say he will go wash in the sink,it won't come out right
I quickly dashed to the kitchen and transformed my mixing bowl into a wash hand basin

Ewuro4:


That's taking it up a notch . I just don't get it but won't badmouth them either coz some families are just too canterkarous to live with.

True, dated a guy very nice guy before we saw his mom we passed to see his brother and the family. His brothers wife was so bitter about the mother in law years after marriage, obviously the woman made her life hell.

When we got to her place I didn't wash the plate I ate with to her specification and she screamed at me and the man was asking me to stay calm and ignore it. As much as I liked him i broke it off oh, people were saying am too picky bla bla bla I no gree oh, if the other wife after over 15 years of marriage is still sad I no dey carry my leg enter permanent misery

babyosisi:


That is the painful part
Doing it so that you don't hear their mouth
The way God created me,I can't o
Infact first time I stayed with my MIL after marriage,I didn't even sweep the floor and the news got to my husband
I didn't believe I should sweep the floor just because I was a new wife in the family when there were two young relatives including his own young sister,younger than me in the house .
I won't lay down in bed and watch my MIL sweep,never
But i won't have a small girl in the house and I will be sweeping just so they will call me dutiful wife
Mba kwa

I can remember once a wifey is brought in,she will carry long broom(akpata)and sweep o to d mainroad(lol)

She will sweep both d nebor's pathway.
Chei!

babyosisi:



That is funny
Reminds if something I do dor my hubby when his mom is around
When he eats eba he just goes to the sink to watch his hands and eat
One time my MIL Came visiting and after I set the food for hubby,she said ,my wife,where is the wash hand basin and water
If course I couldn't say he will go wash in the sink
I quickly dashed to the kitchen and transformed my mixing bowl into a wash hand basin

Lol na their generation my sister. My own father in law goes to the kitchen by himself, fixes his own dinner sometimes and fetches his own drinks, so imagine that my mother in law will be asking me to do that when she didn't even raise him like that. I remember when we were dating and I helped my husband dish a plate she looked at me and looked at him then asked him why he didn't go to dish by himself then told me she hopes I can finish this big work am starting oh lol

aisha2:


Lol na their generation my sister. My own father in law goes to the kitchen by himself, fixes his own dinner sometimes and fetches his own drinks, so imagine that my mother in law will be asking me to do that when she didn't even raise him like that. I remember when we were dating and I helped my husband dish a plate she looked at me and looked at him then asked him why he didn't go to dish by himself then told me she hopes I can finish this big work am starting oh lol

Ur FIL is a genius!
Mine is something else.
That man is so lucky I came in now.
I would hv reset his brain a long time ago

babyosisi:


You got that right

I just told someone that same line
Your mother in law can never be like your mother
Cut out the cliche
Your mother is your mother your MIL is your MIL,make no mistake about it

I could be driving back from work tired and very hungry and call my mom on the phone to please cook me some yam and she will gladly do
Can I ask same of my MIL?
My mother sees me struggling with the kids,she will go make her own food,an MIL will wait for you to serve her food no matter how exhausted you are.
Mom can say something and I totally disagree and tell her mom,I don't agree with you or she asks me to do something and I say mom please I am very tired can it wait till an hour or even next day and it is totally oK with her
Will an MIL understand that?
Your mom sees your husband cooking or cleaning,she is ecstatic she has a son in law that is so sweet and understanding and helps around the house,MIL sees your husband cleaning,she will yell and hate you for turning her beloved son into your maid

Ladies, love your MIL and treat her right but she is not your mother, make no mistake about it

Then i sincerely thank God for my MIL. She is just like me mum,i cant tell the difference except in their faces. She is a gift. She does all you listed mums do even more. Even my mum wonders about her. She is kind hearted to a fault. God bless Sweet Mama.

Amhappy:


Then i sincerely thank God for my MIL. She is just like me mum,i cant tell the difference except in their faces. She is a gift. She does all you listed mums do even more. Even my mum wonders about her. She is kind hearted to a fault. God bless Sweet Mama.

Yours is an exception,what I described is the rule

aisha2:
Stop acting like witches and wishing other human beings death. Solution is simple don't pretend to be totally obedient and ar-se kissers because you want a husband and if after you marry mother in law turns nasty you stand up to her and face her instead of smiling to her face and wishing her death behind.
Ehnn if she asks the man to divorce you let the man answer her by himself nah, even if he divorces you did he kill you?
Abeg stop pretending and face your issues

Lady or gentleman, am not married nor am I even engaged. I don't also wish my mother-in-law dead. In fact, I'll love to av a mother in-law coz I love my mum very much. I only posted this based on d scenarios I witnessed. D Buffon actually divorced his wife and for d other lady, d man with wisdom called his wife back home without d mother knowing. I don't av issues with anybody but in case one gets into this even wen d in-laws av shown so much likeness before d wedding.

Enof of our in-laws interferences. This is wat causes Saunders in marriages. Even wen d lady is not at fault. A fault will be looked for. God help our marriages!

Generally most mother-inlaws are very selfish.You find out that they do not have an tangible reason for hating the suppose daughter inlaw.I have seen one who buried charm in the son's house just for him to hate his wife and do as she(mother inlaw) says.