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Carry am enter your room bros

Some funny HEADLINES & PEOPLE you will find on NAIRALAND;

1. "HOW I FVCKED A NAIRALANDER TODAY"

•seriously, sleeping with a girl you met on NL and later make it publicity... I wonder if this is social achievement o.
I saw the news on the front that wizkid bought a mansion in Los angeles. I quickly caculated the guy age and minus it from my own and still have big odd remaining like "merrybet odd"
so na how i kpansh a NLder be my achievement to be publicised? SMH


2. "MY ORDEAL WITH A NAIRALAND TODAY"

• Honestly, I dont know what that Op was thinking yesterday. I think there was a news in the FP "Linda Ikeji wants to give a woman #500,000"
Linda Ikeji is a lady like you girls. abeg!! You gat what i'm saying ?


3. "HOW TO MAKE NAIJA GIRLS SLEEP WITH YOU"

• This Op.... mehn!! phewwww... I clean my face with my #50 hankerchief for you.
When Churchill, Tonto Dick A, I mean "Dike" husband, Churchill. A man like you went to Ondo state to donate to charity in his own motherland. you are here strategising "how to sleep with Naija girls".
well, God understood your own case shaa!! He will surely kill that old woman for ur village.


4. "8 KINDS OF GIRLS YOU SHOULD NEVER MARRY"

• Girls, shey una see some of una life? Girls are now bend down and select. Characterly or morally. Just take am it fit your body, if not matched drop it and take another one. Lolxxxxx

That one sef good. The only Bible even says that "Seeing is believing" so sampling is no longer a sin.
Lobatan!!


5. " WHAT SHOULD I DO, MY GIRLFRIEND NEVER SAYS I LOVE YOU"

• I wonder if this Op ever bought gift worth of 50k to his girlfriend before. I think money makes good acknowledgment! when u re rich Your wife calls you my "pluto or my jupiter, my weetheart or my sweet gizard"
If poor, she calls you "Daddy Tope or Baba Nkeshi"
As per bf-gf level, if u re rich she ask you "baby where are you now? But the other side... she'd ask "Ola where you dey biko?"
Hoping for a girl to tell u that "I love you" means you are not loaded or hopeless.

Get loaded Oga Ade.

5. "LALASTICLALA CREW"

• The crew will never stop calling Lalasticlala after they wrote something that headlines "SHE FINALLY DISAPPOINTED ME SHAA"
are this crew asking Lalasticlala to beg the girl to come back?
Even the LALASTICLALA name self pisses like heck! What in the underworld is lalasticlala biko?

Well make I apply break here before someone stones through their phone.

Lolxzzzzz.

Wats your point? @Fab

DemiGoddess:
Then why dont you see her that way

I will surely givit a rethink.

Kondomatic:
Let me get it..... Are you saying that nothing about her turns you on?That's because you have a visual of a naked form of the ex gf in your subconscious.



Have you seen your gf unclad?

Sure.

sometime I got hard and control it.

DemiGoddess:
That kind of love is the type you have for your granma,mom and sisters,y'all guys should NEVER marry a girl you love like that cause one day you gon' meet another girl that you love who also turns you on like crazy and then you'd be able to tell the difference...truth of the matter is a guy MUST get turned on by the woman he really and truely loves,whether he acts on it or not doesn't matter the main thing is that he gets turned on PERIOD!

You re right at this point.

I personally dont want to engage in sexual... wit her. and if she's getting it somewhere else, good for her.

I love her and I have a life to leave.

been baddest all my life, man ought to call for resolution.

Blv me I love sex like...

divinehand2003:
This is the high definition of TRUE LOVE without an iota of lust. I've felt that way too dear OP. I have the same feelings right now for some NL cuties mehn!!!

Oops! yours is obviously not geniue bro.

did u just say "some cuties NL...!?"

one dont count some.

#TeamChoose1

#Pray&BelieveInIt

Baddest

Kondomatic:
Let me get it..... Are you saying that nothing about her turns you on?

Of course not! when the sex huge came up my mind never goes to her to be the girl to have sex with, rather some ex gf.

DemiGoddess:
Thats not real or true love believe me

Whats your point?

Souljeezy:
I have tasted ngozi ,temitope,hadiza, chiamaka etc and I realised that they all tasted the same way..

all tanks to cokercola..

to ur story...
no sexx till marriage is bullshit...
Neva believe de **am still a virgin** until u are sure she's still a virgin
u'll neva knw hw wide de pvssy is until its too late**afta marriage.

Maybe you are right but doubt your GENERALISATION

Jacksparr0w127:
My brother, Johnbull is tired of waiting on her kitty. Johnbull don shift attention. But if she can feed Johnbull some cookies ASAP, Johnbull will turn back.


Ireti pipè ama mu òkan saaréé

Lol

well that's the way you view it. blv me, we still have some good girls in Nigeria here, it will only takes the real eyes to realise the good girls.

I think real recognise real.

Johnbull or no Johnbull, I just want to be honest for the very first time to see how its feels like being loyal.

I have lost count of girls I had in the past. yet to know the goodness they contributed to my life.

I careless about Johnbull having his way.

trust me I never dated a BIATCH!

loooolzxxx

Seriously, I dont know which other way I could put this in a BIGGER PICTURE to you guys but let put it you like this...

I started dating my girlfriend some months after I broke up with my ex girlfriend.
we've been coming for a very long time as just friends, and so many time I have asked her out but no turned up. (that was before I met my ex girlfriend)

fast forward to my point...

Last year december, she finally agree to date me with a condition (NO SEX ZONE) I also agreed to the uncomfortable condition because I truely love her. though I asked her why we should not indulge in sex... in the relationship before marriage as she had wanted it to be, she said she's "still a virgin."

She's nice, romantic and generous. Each time she pay a visit must surely comes with goodies and some other things that children love for my sister kids, and atimes got something for me too! This attitude of hers never gives room for a doubtful mind if she's lying about her virginity status or trying to gain respect from me.

just of recent I realised that I dont have sexual feeling towards her, even when the nature calls. maybe I have something beyond intimacy for her or.. I dont even know.

Has any guy ever felt this way towards a girl or feeling this way right now?

Through an accidental crack in the curtain
I can see the eight o'clock light change from
charcoal to a faint gassy blue, inventing
things. I leaned on the wall looking between the alleys across the street. Dippen into my pocket and brought out a plastic bottle of "origin drink", I took a sip and returned it.
I was lost in thought of the possible way I could turn back the hands of time.
A possible way to escape the regression that's enslaving my heart.
I thought of it over and over. Hitting my knuckles against the window burglary as to emphasis my pain and the agony.

well since I can't do anything about it I can't kill myself.

I just have to relax and listen to some old music. Thinking how I kept chasing a rat while an antelope was chasing me.

2 years ago I formally met Lola through Kunle, a friend, at his office. He introduced us to each other.
Williams please meet Lola.
she's a friend back in unversity days.
I quickly offered my hand in exchange of pleasantries with charming smile on my face to express how am pleased to meet her.

(Lola is a well structured girl about 4.3ft tall. She's in her mid 20s,24-25years old. she's well mature as per the way she talks. Average body size. She has big eyesball, moderate breast size, flat tommy. Her linen short sleeves shirt reveals cleavages that could quickly turns a man on.
Her figure 8 shape and her well circle buttock make her to looks like a goddes.
Lola is a beautiful girl. Her dress shows her hight taste for ornaments; the 2
Necklace chains, her wristwatch and the bracelet on her right hand totally illustrate her fashion vogue.
She completes everything a man needed in a woman by physical tendencies)

Nice meeting you miss Lola, am Agbaje Williams.

The son of the same Agbaje Famous, the owner of Agbaje & sons enterprise?
Oh yes. Am his last child. Back then people used to call me Agbaje Junior when I was young.
So you have
become Daddy ehn!
Probably Agbaje senior now.

Kunle quickly interrupted Lola.
We burst into laughter...
So Lola, whats your plan for the day?
Or were you actually heading somewhere Because this your visitation today na surprise o!
Maybe you came to see someone
around here and decided to check on me tho.
Haba na! I actually wanted to come and say hello to you.
Its just that I didn't inform you that I was coming to your office today. Just to make it a surprise for my pikin.
Hmmmm!! so am now your pikin ehn! Kunle exclaimed.

Hehehe..

You haven't changed a bit Lola, look at you!

Hahahaha...

Is not funny o!

Lola Omo mummy.

eyin le mo o!

Kunle checked his time it was half past 2.
Guys, its my launch hour now. Do you guys mind coming along?
I nodded my head, guy hope say no be Iya Nkeshi shop you are taking us to eat bread and beans sha?!
I jokingly asked him.
He dare not.
Infact he's taking us to "Tantalizer" Lola quickly backed me up.
Chill guys,
I will take you anywhere una like.
He drove us in his official "Toyota corola 2013 model" to a very nice eatry close to his office.

(THREE MONTHs EARLIER)

Willams, is not as if I dont like you, I like you but its just that...

Is just that what Wande?
I asked her.
See you cant understand it.
Then make me understand it!

(Wande is a girl in my street that I have big crush on.
She's in her early 20s probably 21years old. Gradually in time we got close. with the fact that we only chat on WhatsApp ever since she gave me her number.
She has nice stature. A cool girl but very low exposed.
She has big whitish eyeball. Sexy body and a bit flabby belly, her belly dont often appear, atimes it depends on the type of clothe she put on. Well She's ok to the best of a girlish looks."


Wande and I been coming a long way before I was obliged the permission to start paying her visitation at home.

She's an undergraduate. Also an indoor type that sees big deal in hanging-out with her friends and others. Sometimes I just have to force her before i could buy her a drink at a close bar in her hood.)

After a long story about some circumstances sorrounding why we can't date, I asked her, is that all?
Williams, I can only assure you that is only God that knows tomorrow. Things might change tomorrow!
Really!? Ok o!
I handed over what I got for her and call it a day.

AT THE EATRY...

It's absolutely table for 3, the waiter served our orders.
People are not much in the eatry. It seems to be for high class personalities. The interior decoration and the standard of their services.
From the other corner inside the eatry were 6 richly looking men chanting political party slongan and probably talking about the next governorship aspirant in their political party in the coming governorship election.

So tell me, how is daddy and his health? Lola asked with compassion in her face.
Daddy had passed away long ago.
Jesus!
Don't tell me it was that same sickness that took his life, I could remember he was seriously sick then.
Yes it was the sickness that took his life.
The family spent alot to sustain his life but he couldn't make it.
Eeyah, i'm sorry dear.
The moment I came into Kunle office I was contemplating if I had not seen this face at my aunty former estate before.
I still know you quite well, especially with this scar in your chin, the day you fell off a bicycle while learning.
oh!
You were there on that day? I asked her.

Ofcourse I was.

So you guys know each other?

Kind of. Says Lola.
So guys whats our next order? Kunle asked.
Haba, after a plate of Shawamma and medium size chocolate ice cream! unless you want to book dinner for me and come in the night to take it here.

Hahahahah.... both "Laughs out Loud"

Aunty Lola eyin nko ?
As for me
i'm okay.
In that case we re ought to go now.
Oga Kunle wont you drop me of? Lol

(demanded to be drop at home.)

I wont be able to drop u off because of office... but williams will drop u off immediately we get to my office.
All right. She agreed!


EARLIER....


I was at home thinking of what to do when everything seems bored and awkward, just then i remember my Wande.
I picked my phone to call her that am hangingout with my friends i dont know if she doesnt mind to join. (even though I wasn't hangingout with anyone but just to see if she would like to go out with me tonight).
She asked where i am , "am at home"
Ok come and pick me up.
Am at home.

SOME MINUTES LATER..

So where re your others friends?
She profusley asked.
Well I wanted to
go alone with you.
Was that
why you mentioned your friends.... ?
Not really. I just wanted to be with you tonight. All right. So where are we going now? She asked.
I was thinking if we could go to a new place in town.
And where could that be ?
"Latton Motel"
Hmmm, you know its far from my home and i dont like crowded hangouts.
So ? I asked.
So we can just hangout to a nearby...then I thought of a place very close to her house,
a very close joint in her
street.
She finally agreed to a drink at MOFE bar.
She ordered for a soft drink while I order for a "Trophy" (an alcoholic drink). We watched musical videos,
We talked, have fun, order for more drink till my eyes losing sober reflections. We did some revision on what
How much I really love her that I can't go A minute without thinking of her.
After some discussion we realised
that the day falling into deep darkness. 9:46pm.
That's how we set to go home. We decided to go straight to her house and when we
got there, I did the talks more calmly and sensitional this time because the noise artifact(music...) at the bar distorted our conversations.

She lied on her bed while I sat on a sofa. Resting myself across. After few minutes, I stood up and switched my position to sit by
her side where she lies comfortably on the bed.
I was uttering my toasting in more emotional ways. I
touched her.
Play with her hair, kissed her lips,
and kissed her almost unclad breast.
The ways i seduced her in by sight,
She was hooked by the first words i
said.
From the other side of her bed she
flirted,
As I mindlessly whispered to her ears, slightly kissing her lips.
Had my mind reeling where I couldn't
think.
While on my forth southern comfort
potion,
She was defensless. She couldn't get up and resist the moment.
She felt charmed and relaxing.
Time seemed to lapse as if in slow
motion
As I quickly pondered with the words
I'd say.
Before I knew it I was on top of her but shyly smiling,
With eyes that batted with a kind of
subtle finesse
I wanted to impress her without
fabricating or lying,
I was drunk and my words weren't
making much sense.
I kissed her neck down to her chest
With my right hand caressing her soft laps through her skimpy black skirt.
I kept my hand deep inside her pant without
Her uttering a word.
I unleashed her two breast by unbottoned her bra by left hand while she lift her body up by her two elbows to make it easier.
I was hard beyond expression.
I couldn't control it and I couldn't rush it.
Her body was warm and warmed I was too. I was lust in sucking her flat inward nipple while using the hand caressing the other one.
The night before that moment became
sorta obscured,
She willingly help, and i started off slow and I jerked up
because I wanted to go deeper,
Her sighs and short gasps got me
hornier and i pulled down her pant, her "pussy" was soaking wet and tight
and couldn't get more of neither,
I was about shoot my load so I grabbed
Her ass and began to pound my finger in and out from the front and from behind.
Time blurred
into the night then i got her undressed,
I then straddled and begin to kiss, bite cares every corner between her laps in mouth action.
I sucked every corner with sensation.
Oddly as I did this she felt more control and anxiously alerted.
In and out my finger went in her "pussy", she was climaxing and warmth flooded over her body like hot shower.
The night went on without sex but exotic.
The night unfolded and it was an entire
night played out within one hour.
She couldnt believe the night could be such flirtatious, she realised that she isn't totally dedicated to the relationship and how could she be so careless!
Tears streamed her eyes and angrily ordered me out of her room.
I know she's into me, something is just holding her back.
'One thing about romance in a relationship, once started it will always be by any given chances.'
I went straight home without faulting myself for anything, perhaps she responded to every touches I make and joyfully, inwardly moaned to every mouth actions.
I knew she hadn't been touched like that before, and never sees it long coming.

CHAPTER II

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yemoxyl:
Go get a sl*t to lash
And live the innocent girl alone

I love my gal biko. I dnt want to make sex.. issue in our relationship, nd I bcoz of dat masturbate wen the urge calls. wat more?

Emodeee:
Must you lash? Don't know what's wrong with guys of these days, can't you be virgin like us? Most of you don't know more than sex.


If you truly luv her, marry her, she will give you sex to stupor.

R u saying that u re a virgin too?

lol. the funniest thing is that, 'I never have sexual feeling for her. never imagine smooshing when the nature calls. the only thing I do is matabating, and I will be fine.

She said no sex... that she's still a virgin, which seems to be true. But i love sex. And we never lash since we've been dating.

wat do you advice. guys?

belloabd1914:
what do u mean, if he is from Kogi,

you be avenger?

belloabd1914:
Keep d friend if u are comfortable with anoda guy doing d same to ur girlfriend.

U seem not understand the situation. then I dnt have gf and now that I do she don't want me to go. I ve tried to let her be bcoz the intimacy will sure continue btw us.

GP2015:
My problem is not your question but what you did that brought about the question; I keep saying friendzone is not hell; u dan 'break' d friendzone; to run na wahala

nah; not from kogi but somehow ive passed there

Seriously, I dnt see any big deal been friendzoned. bcox it is always easy for me in the so called friendzone to manoeuver ways.