swagglordbm:


'Funnily enough' is an aphorism bro. Yeah d fact dat its in the dictionary doesn't mean its ryt.
Get this: Dictionary works with everyday usage of english. That's why Oxford now contain words like Agbada, fufu n d likes...
English is deeper than you think, But The fact dat I'm a medical student doesn't mean I dnt knw what I'm writing.

If you say so,for a commoner of the english language,it may be okay in usage,but for persons like me who study english,we are bound by set rules of speech and language.

Episode 3 coming soon. haters m eyes are on u. I'll report you to Uncle Seun and his SARS team

swagglordbm:
Episode 3 coming soon. haters m eyes are on u. I'll report you to Uncle Seun and his SARS team

Abeg RideOn

CyrusXandria:
If you say so,for a commoner of the english language,it may be okay in usage,but for persons like me who study english,we are bound by set rules of speech and language.

. Professor no vex. Forgive this commoner-of-english.

swagglordbm:

. Professor no vex. Forgive this commoner-of-english.

C'mon bro,no p's.

[quote author=Pr0ton post=30350975][/quote]

Ehyaah. Pls write a lettter to d student Records' department. Student units division. And don't forget 2 attach ur
Birthh certficate (original)
Last 10years tax payment evidence.
Your last blood test result
Your HIV status
And a letter of recommendation 4rm either Buhari. Or GEJ

swagglordbm:


Ehyaah. Pls write a lettter to d student Records' department. Student units division. And don't forget 2 attach ur
Birthh certficate (original)
Last 10years tax payment evidence.
Your last blood test result
Your HIV status
And a letter of recommendation 4rm either Buhari. Or GEJ

Lols.. No be you get the post



Please come and continue your story. It's interesting. At least I'm learning some stuff about Unilag Kudos bro

Episode 3. Biobaku Saga part 1 (a continuation of Life in Unilag )
Systems baba! wetin boys go chaw na?
-Systems- was known for his excessive sense of humor and his seriousness for almost everything. You can see Systems explaining the concept of dodging bullet with the usual projectile and he is adding unusual words like skin color, temperature , atmospheric pressure and all sort of irrelevant things. He got the nickname from his department 'Systems engineering'.
The first time I entered my room in Biobaku hall I met this guy, he looked like a bully (well I'm not the type that you can bully) but with time we got to know each other better . And He's just this funny and friendly guy so never judge a book by its cover.
Hmm. Something happened One night. Yeah one fateful night like that.
That night, I came back from the library late around 9:00pm, entered my room just to find Systems cooking. Wonders shall never End! If you know this Guy that I'm talking about you'll never ask him to boil water for you because he might add salt.
I looked around to confirm I was in my room, and I saw Shayo, Lexychills, Solodinho, Tunani, Yemi Rain et al. Damn I'm in my room.
Well, anything can happen. So I just dropped by bag, put off my clothes, went to my locker to get my towel and made exit through the door.
... .... ......There's always water in biobaku hall but this night after rubbing soap on my face the shower stopped. Arhh .. Who have I offended?
I usually bath with Premier cool ( and that soap can bleach anything but somehow I still managed to retain my black skin). Out of annoyance I just grabbed grabbed my towel, cleaned my face and left for the balcony * thinking I'll show these porters tonight*
PORTER LESKOT PUMP WATER!!! PORTER PUMP WATER!!! LESKOT PUMP WATER!!!
Within few seconds some jobless fellows joined me and soon we were constituting nuisance to the environment.
:Ehn Leskot dey come leskot dey come!!!: within a twinkle of an eye everybody don tear. Bwahahahahah. Biobaku boys!!!
With a confused feeling- I was feeling half happy for disturbing everyone's peace and feeling half sad that I'll have to go downstairs and fetch water worse still I might even meet a Kofo girl who will yarb my soul- I left for my room.
-When I entered the room I wasn't surprised to see everyone yelling at Systems but when I heard what he did this time around I was shocked. Systems added palm oil to the noodles he was cooking. Taaa!
Guy!!! Wetin u dea use think? Why you go add palm oil to indomie? I don die.
He just looked at me, smiled and said; No I'm trying to fluctuate the taste of the ... -you don't want to hear the rest-
Systems na wa for you o! Take this Hungry man, cook am make we Add am to this your rubbish to reduce the concentration of the palm oil.
He just jumped up and said 'TAINKS' ( systems has never pronounced anything properly for the fun of it)
Within few minutes the 'delicacy' was ready and I was served my share. Not bad the stuff tasted like spoiled rice with fish stew. As I was digging in nemesis cut-up with me.
... .... ..... ...... ..... .....
Knock knock knock...
.... Go aways! Go aways!! I yelled at the door. Not giving a damn who was behind that door.
Then We all heard a deep voice -MY FRIEND Open up-
Arhh. Its porter mike o. Yemi rain exclaimed! (Looking through the window)
Ehn, wetin happen na We dey here. Tunani said.
Tell am make he go away. I said, trying not to reflect my fear. ( I knew I was in big soup, I've been traced for creating that 'porter-pump-water scenario' . 'Won ti get mi sha' ) and if anything is sure, it is the fact that I'm definitely not sleeping on my mattress tonight and worse still I might even visit Alpha base and write statement)
Ogbenii go away. Lexychills said. And everyone busted into laughter.
I decided to go and open the door and at the same time I was thinking of what to say.
"" ....""" ....."""" .....
Hey! Where is that foolish boy that was shouting on the corridor? He asked.
Which foolish boy? (I asked with an innocent rabbit face)
Nobody is foolish here sir. (I continued)
Shut-up. If you guys don't talk I'll carry your mattress oh! (The man said with a not-smilling face)
Say wetin? Wait is that a threat or what ? I said the boy is not here.
Are you talking to me? He asked.
No na your shadow (I just change am, Use plan-B for am) you can't just come here and insult people randomly. Who are you self? we were reading before you entered. You can't just enter into people's room like that na.

Shayor just tapped my shoulder and said He's the Porter?
Arh (I opened my eyes wide as if I was shocked) immediately I prostrated and was begging him (pretending as if I didn't know he was the porter)
Everybody in my room knew it was a prank and were laughing.
Someone even said; See that ur foolish mouth will put you in trouble one day.

You're a foolish boy. Where is your mattress? If you sleep on the floor this night you'll know you shouldn't just talk to people anyhow here.
Ahh I'm sorry Sir. Pls don't seize my mattress sir. I have Gastrointestinal disorder (
I just said rubbish) .
Ehhn. Ehn... Shut-up. If you sleep on the floor tonight, in your life you won't do that again.
After begging for like five minutes he left me alone and forgot he was looking for the foolish boy that was shouting on the corridor.
Hehehe lucky Me.
Biobaku hall was like another planet entirely. Only that it was all-boys. If I start to mention every character in my room you'll probably run out of mb. Don't worry just stay tuned.

Dude, do not mind the haters and perfectionists, u r actually making sense.. Carry on!!!

i dey feel u

swagglordbm:


Sorry bro (and everybody in dis category)

Why is it that Whenever an english man stands up to speak, other english men despise him?

See Whether I write abt lecture room or I write abt night club atleast You should appreciate d fact dat I took my tym to write this. I own my own blog and I have people who follow my story n appreciate it.
The fact that its now on nairaland shows my respect for nigeria, my love for the people in it as well as my interest in free writing.
*I think its high time we Nigerians began to appreciate ourselves*
I'll accept ur apology if u can muster the courage to apologize for ur misjudgment. Thank You

You don't expect everyone to like your write up now.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion on your write up, especially as you put it on a public forum.
Stick with the positive feedback and learn from the negatives

Bro, i D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ gbadun ur wirte up jare...been ffwing, bumper2bumper...#nice write ups#

Registered!

one more before I go to bed

I rep lag all the way. I stayed in jaja hall throughout my stay in that wonderful citadel of learning, graduated 2012. God bless my alma mata. God bless unilag. Good job Op, i'm loving ur swagg.

Following closely.

chuckdee4:


You don't expect everyone to like your write up now.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion on your write up, especially as you put it on a public forum.
Stick with the positive feedback and learn from the negatives

Thanks the world need more ppl lyk u

PHgirl:
Following closely.

Fortune has smiled on me NB: No amount of closeless is too close Miss.











Just joking. Thanks

jasper83:
I rep lag all the way. I stayed in jaja hall throughout my stay in that wonderful citadel of learning, graduated 2012. God bless my alma mata. God bless unilag. Good job Op, i'm loving ur swagg.

*enters with plank*
Of the Greatest Gbo! *hits d plank on d floor*
Of the Greatest Gbi !! *brings plank toward u*












Greatest of the greatest of the greatest. where dis broda run go?

Everyone stay tuned!!!
.
.
There is enuf kunu for everybody.
.
.
New update inabit

Do I need to explain the concept of in a bit to u now....

simdam500:
Do I need to explain the concept of in a bit to u now....

No vex bro.
I'm a medical student and I'm verrrrry busy.


Will try my possible best to update soon

I get bro.... I understand u


Just remember the only way to keep your thread busy is to update it...


Still following u like twitter

swagglordbm:

No vex bro.
I'm a medical student and I'm verrrrry busy.


Will try my possible best to update soon

Oya come and complete ur mission na.At least make it 2 episode per day.

Episode 4 Biobaku Saga (Part. 2)
Attention Biobaku boys!
Attention Biobaku boys!!
There is going to be a pool party this friday... (I was in my room when I heard the noise of the sound system..at first I thought it was something reasonable but After hearing Pool party I just jumped out of my room , looked left, right, up , down and front to make sure no porter is watching. I started yelling Oookay!!!
OoOooOkay!!! Go away!!! Cool story babe!!! (It was one fine lady like that..of course all unilag girls are fine so this one didn't move me) I continued Ogbeeni Go away!! NooOo NooOo NoooOo Nooo... Ooookay ooookay Kay!!! Kay!
In less than a minute half of the boys in the hall joined me in shouting at the pretty lady. Hehehe. Imagine me as the president of this hall. Choi!!!
We made sure the lady left feeling frustrated.
Biobaku hall is a cool place to be. The fun and all that..we can make fun of anybody and I mean anybody including the GCFR of Nigeria *i didn't say that* arhh man! My stomach!!! Where is Systems na, I asked myself.
I entered the room, saw lexychills and asked of Systems's whereabout.
I don't know, shey that wayray get location ni. He said. (We both laughed it off and it was then that I knew my stomach wasn't playing a friendly match with me)
Lexy make we reach Olaiya na. (Olaiya is one of the best eatery on campus, the best around Education faculty )
Oya na make we go. (Lexychills is one person I know will follow you to the end of the world to buy chaw, he never cooked throughout his stay in biobaku, He is a good example of someone who's life is simple)
...(I'm still typing.. Stay tuned)

..So he got dressed and we both went out to Olaiya. On our way we met Systems.
Systems!.. Waddup dawg? I said (trying to sound cool in front of some babes who were standing few meters away)
The guy just looked at me and said nothing;
Systems wetin happen na?
Baa Money (He said)
Haba forget that one jhare. Make we reach Olaiya (this time I talked like a typical yoruba boy not minding the babes)
...We're students and we're used to sharing our allowee, at times I go broke at times he goes to 'brooklyn' too but together we run things.
... So we got to Olaiya...
First thing Systems said was; Hey see that girl! *pointing at one pretty lady who was sitting down alone on a 'table for 4' setting*
Lexychills tapped my shoulder and smiled. I can remember hearing him say things like ''xvgthsybdgvzfv sjfunajdubxkiaj'' Yeah it was as meaningless as that bcoz I was busy differentiating and integrating the Lonely lady's case that my auditory nerves shutdown for the moment.
Dr Jay! Jay!! Jay!!! (Systems was trying to bring me back to live)
Ehm.. Hw far? Wetin we go do? I asked in a semi-devislish voice.
Ehm Lexy na you go plot this graph o(I said trying to bring a tone of seriousness)
-as we were talking, Systems was already moving in the lady's direction-
Arrh See this wayray! Systems! Systems!! Systems!!
---------- ------------ --------------
Hello excuse me young lady. (He was faking a puzzled look and continued)
Is me Systems, is me come here to buy food, see you, is me notice you're alone.
The lady started laughing histerically.
----- ---------- ---------- ------------
Lexy this is ur chance. I said (we both bought our food and moved to where the lady was sitting)
We sat down silently and started eating.
The lady was already getting used to Systems nature , it was so abvious that one could see the red blush on her cheeks.
.
Lexy, ( I opened my mouth for few seconds) arhh
What is it? (He asked)
You didn't lock your Car! (I winked at him and continued ) or Did you?
Arh! Wait o.. You know you packed your own ride first. And then... Oh, never mind I locked it. He said. (Smilling at systems with that you-be-small-boy look)
-Systems knew he had lost that battle already so he planned a revenge-
Not long after we finished eating, Lexychills and the pretty lady started talking and soon he collected her digits.
.
On our way back to the room. Systems didn't say anything. Not even a Word. We knew he was angry but couldn't tell what he was going to do next.
As we entered into Biobaku hall, Systems started walking fast and soon he was out of sight. By the time we got to the door of our room we found out that the door was locked and there was nobody inside. *what a silly guy I thought*
. We waited in the corridor for like an hour and then two and then three . It was almost 12:00am and Systems didn't show up with the key. His phone was switched off and today is friday (the porters have gone home, all other guys in room have also gone home for the weekend, just Me, Lexychills and Systems left and the room )
Which kind sly be dis now.
.
.
.
.
We waited till 2 am outside the room gisting until we decided to goto the next room and 'seek refuge'.
*arrh if we catch systems tomorrow , we both vowed to show him*
Throughout the next day Systems didn't show up, we gave up on our plan to deal with him and started praying to God to bring him back.
. I and Lexychills knew he was going to be around unfailingly the next day (which was a sunday). Lexychills and Systems attend Jehovah Witness Convention so we both knew he was going to come the next day. To get his Bible. So we kept his bible.
The next day we got to the front of our room and found the door open.
*Systems Welcome to Hell* I thought.
Immediately Systems saw us he prostrated and started begging. I and Lexychills just laughed it off and we returned his bible.

*thinking in our mind- You've won this War, but not the battle-*
...Watch our for the last part of Biobaku Saga... {Nemesis}

I burnt my indomie to complete this episode.

*glued*

*is me understatement,I be on NL over a years and not follow a story bt is follow dis one means is special*...

Good work!

Thumbs up#

understatement:
*is me understatement,I be on NL over a years and not follow a story bt is follow dis one means is special*...

Good work!

I'm honored
*Pls help me bring Kunu for dis my boss*