1. You remove wrapper from your gifts carefully, so that you can reuse the wrapper.

2. You call a person you've never met before uncle or aunt.
3. More than 90% of the music CD's and cassettes in your home are illegal copies

4. Your garage is always full of stuff because you never throw anything away, just in case you need it someday.(a gum boot without a partner and the baby walker - aby's now 12 and you are 48)

5. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottle from your stays at hotels. (Go cool, Sweet heart, African pride, )

6. You have almost always carried overweight baggage when traveling by plane.

7. If a store has a limit on the quantity of a product, then each member of the family will join separate queues to purchase the maximum quantity possible. (sugar, soap, rice, cooking fat etc during old good days)

8. All children have annoying nicknames.

9. Nobody in your family informs you that they are coming over for a visit. (Uncle, wife, sis-in-law, two nephews and a neighbour) have camped at home.

10. You stuff your pockets with, mints and toothpicks at restaurants. ( Murray mints, wrappers, and salt shakers!)

11. Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and does not talk to her for 10 years.

12. You only make telephone calls at a cheaper rate at night (especially beepers). If possible you will finish calling at Office.

13. You never have less than 20 people to meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight.

14. You keep changing your Internet Service Provide because the first month is free. (I know some people O!, )

15. Office supplies mysteriously find their way to your home. (Yes, staple machine, office pins, punch machine, cello tapes, post-its, A-4 papers, etc.)

16. When you are young, your parents buy you clothes and shoes at least two sizes too big so that they would last longer.

17. A bunch of Rolled Soft papers found at your home, seems gathered from Office and Restaurants.

Note: Pass it on to other Africans, so they can know what truly makes them African.

Not entirely correct

Oracle:

Not entirely correct

I thought so too

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

Here is a collection of short jokes 4 Y'all dat are not vry patient with the long ones


[b]Girl: Do you believe in puppy love?
Boy: I tried it once, but their assholes are too small.




Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"




When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.




A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"



"I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine, I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar."




Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.




In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.




Two woman were talking about the new hunk in the neighborhood. "But he acts so stupid," said one to the other. "I think he must have his brains between his legs." "Yeah," her friend sighed, "but I'd sure love to blow his mind."




Love thy neighbor all through the day, but first make sure her husband's away!





Wife: Give me some money. I want to buy a bra.
Husband: Why? You have nothing to put in it!
Wife: You wear shorts!




What's the best date to bring on a picnic? One who will arch her back so your balls don't get grass-stained.




I wonder what fish smelled like before women went swimming?




It is well known,
Man stands up to get knocked down, woman lays down to get knocked up.



Boy: Do you like parties?
Girl: Yes, why?
Boy: Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!




What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.




A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there's nothin' special, we just flat out tell' em they're gonna die,




HUSBAND: Shall we try a different position tonight?
WIFE: That's a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.




Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this hand rail is bloody low down"




A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a nymphomaniac." He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour." She says, "How much for all night?"




Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?" He says, "No, our house isn't blue."




Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit, A talking muffin!"




A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She simply replied, "No peer pressure."


There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.[/b]

Nice