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The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage (26331 Views)

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Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Ewuro4: 2:04pm On Feb 13, 2015
jnrbayano:




Your comment is filled with more questions than answers.

how?
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by jnrbayano(m): 2:15pm On Feb 13, 2015
Ewuro4:


how?

Putting someone else's need ahead of mine.

Not easy.

Pleasant Surprise: I'm FREE and make my own RULES.

The bold doesn't connect.

1 Like

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Ewuro4: 2:18pm On Feb 13, 2015
jnrbayano:




The bold doesn't connect.

Answers to your 2 questions ...

Awful surprises : Putting someone else's (family) need ahead of mine.

Pleasant surprise: Independence

How's that a rocket science
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by jnrbayano(m): 2:40pm On Feb 13, 2015
Ewuro4:


Answers to your 2 questions ...

Awful surprises : Putting someone else's (family) need ahead of mine.

Pleasant surprise: Independence

How's that a rocket science

Were you not independent prior to your marriage?

1 Like

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Agrika: 3:06pm On Feb 13, 2015
Marriage is like a soup with different distinct flavours...sometimes e go sweet, sometimes e go sour, sometimes e go bitter...but it's d perfect fussion of these various flavours that brings out the beauty of marriage....first and foremost expect nothing and forget about all that crap about love,u hv been deceived with by the various forms of media...if u like love ur wife like the way Monkey like banana...and u hv "issues" like say anger issues and probably hit her, hmmm... my guy u just dey deceive yourself...if u like go to CNN to announce to d whole world hw u so love ur darling hubby but u urself no dey gree, u constantly nag this poor man to death, u are stubborn and "unbendable" ...babe u just dey deceive urself.
There is a lot more to marriage than dinner candles, roses and all

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Nobody: 5:39pm On Feb 13, 2015
mutter:
That the choice of a partner is probably thee most important decision you might make in your life.

That patience and tolerance are the main ingredient that have to be cooked in love and respect.
You too like food. Smh

1 Like

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by postmann: 5:45pm On Feb 13, 2015
ifyalways:
Lolx. You and your colleagues eee. No boring moment. kiss

It is more important to be happy than to be right. . .
Marriage taught me that.Fvck being morally,religiously correct/right, whatever makes me happy,I hold tight.

Hmmm! GODless Ifyalways

1 Like

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by millionboi(m): 5:54pm On Feb 13, 2015
jnrbayano:


You didn't answer the Op. The Op seeks to be educated on those surprises that are evident in marriage which weren't noticed during pre-marital period.
no mind m,mek he dey pretend
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Nobody: 5:56pm On Feb 13, 2015
cococandy:

Not on nairaland bro.
If you don't have a sob story to tell,you're not really married or at best pretending to be happy.

I tried that once it backfired.
Got plenty of evil wishes that day.
I no do again.

Let Everybody learn from their own experience. Whether good or bad.

That's all @emboldened.
Even if there are hitches - of course there are bad days...we learn from them and move on.

I wonder why they don't believe in the marital institution. Gets me wondering if their parents are unhappy too.

5 Likes

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by obowunmi(m): 5:56pm On Feb 13, 2015
Pray before you marry.

Marry wrongly and it will cost you your health.
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by kmcutez(f): 5:56pm On Feb 13, 2015
Gloriagee:


It is my role to be his help meet not to take care of him. Listening to some guys talk bout getting married sounds like their would be wife's job description involves being a cook, washer woman n still sexual partner...in other words, taking care of 'him'.

I'm just imagining two tired people coming back from church, where kindness n empathy are being taught. One switches on super sports n is lounging waiting for his carer to serve him dinner, while the other starts cooking indomie n in between switches to eba.

What stops him from helping out? Nothing major? I'm assuming the woman has to work, wake up early to beat Lagos traffic n still contribute to the household purse.

Exactly what I thought when I read his story. I'm like what a selfish husband.

3 Likes

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by millionboi(m): 5:57pm On Feb 13, 2015
kristonium:
I had always thought that marriage will reduce my sexual urge!
Alas brothers and sisters I was wrong!
serious,then wat did u do
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by wasmilebags: 5:59pm On Feb 13, 2015
Your ability to say am sorry wen ever u are wrong and don't allow any disagrement carry on to d next day

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by scribble: 6:04pm On Feb 13, 2015
Gloriagee:
@ ideapro- I'm lost...why is it the woman's role to automatically fix dinner? Both of u got back from church by 8pm probably after work, y can't u lend a helping hand, say like microwave the soup. If u were anywhere near the kitchen, u would have been aware of the fantastic noodles dish she was making or the challenges she was facing with the soup.

I know I prefer company in the kitchen while cooking so can't really muster much sympathy for u. kiss



As much as I can cook and once in a while make dinner or a meal for my wife


She has been conditioned from young to be a cook for her man

she makes such excellent food for me that I go out of my way to really spoil her and I'm not interested in any other woman's cooking


Leave that feminist rule book nonsense and find a good African man to enjoy


Or are you seeing white people in enduring relationship these days

A word my dear

20 Likes 4 Shares

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Champele(m): 6:05pm On Feb 13, 2015
You are totally right,my sister is stuck with one illiterate man who use her as punching bag just to please her father. A graduate for that matter.
bukatyne:


Very true

Lots of people are frustrated because they are trying to do it the way it 'should' be done.
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by cococandy(f): 6:06pm On Feb 13, 2015
When did you get married? grin

Congrats o
scribble:




As much as I can cook and once in a while make dinner or a meal for my wife


She has been conditioned from young to be a cook for her man

she makes such excellent food for me that I go out of my way to really spoil her and I'm not interested in any other woman's cooking


Leave that feminist rule book nonsense and find a good African man to enjoy


Or are you seeing white people in enduring relationship these days

A word my dear
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by cococandy(f): 6:08pm On Feb 13, 2015
Kachisbarbie:


That's all @emboldened.
Even if there are hitches - of course there are bad days...we learn from them and move on.

I wonder why they don't believe in the marital institution. Gets me wondering if their parents are unhappy too.

Fine girl. Nice hair smiley

# Totally off topic
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Nobody: 6:13pm On Feb 13, 2015
cococandy:


Fine girl. Nice hair smiley

# Totally off topic

very off topic o nne.
Thanks, it's just normal braids - packed it up.
You fine pass sha. wink

2 Likes

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by RedEboe(m): 6:20pm On Feb 13, 2015
Years before i got married, I thought sleeping with same woman over & over again would get boring. Well, i've come to realise that this is not the case ESPECIALLY when a man endeavours to marry a woman he is $exually attracted to.

It was a Pleasant surprise for me to realize that a good wife is more than willing to satisfy ALL her husbands' $exual urges and desires if only he's bold enough to tell her what he wants (lots of hubbys are pussyz).

It gets better when the husband reciprocates this by making his wife comfortable enough to also share her inner-most $exual desires, and makes real effort to fulfil them.

Yes, $ex is the most important subject in marriage especially for young couples.

The AWFUL part about marriage (from the male perspective & in my own opinion) is that, Yes, you could love your wife more than anything on earth BUT for some strange reason(s), you can't get your eyes off other beautiful women that come your way. You DON'T want to keep them as second wives or mistresses, you just want a piece of the pie, for the road. (Yes I know, it's evil)

A number of married men have the capacity to bump into a hot $exy babe, appreciate 'God's creation' and move on. While for some other married men, possessed with the spirit of 'marksmanship' in their DNA, as hard as they may try, will end up going for the 'adultrous' chase...with a 90% success rate.

Well, you can guess which category I belong to. LOL!

19 Likes

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by pwerrymansion(f): 6:20pm On Feb 13, 2015
I used to be the egocentric type until I met marriage and it robbed me off t and left me being selfless. Never knew also I could sleep with a man that snores like a pig and still sleep peacefully. grin.

19 Likes

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by personal59(m): 6:21pm On Feb 13, 2015
KanwuliaJara:
It is more BORRRRRRRRING than being locked up in GUANTANAMO! cheesy
Your SOUL-MATE is always outside the marriage! grin
Pls wats d meaning of dat statement "ur soul-mate is always outside d marriage"
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by bawz012(m): 6:24pm On Feb 13, 2015
kmcutez:


Exactly what I thought when I read his story. I'm like what a selfish husband.

we r different in nature... as long as d wife doesn't complain... bt if she does den d husband should adjust... I knw some ladies who actually takes responsibility of all house chores without hesitating... saying dat dey enjoy it while some don't...

4 Likes

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by KanwuliaJara: 6:26pm On Feb 13, 2015
personal59:

Pls wats d meaning of dat statement "ur soul-mate is always outside d marriage"

You are living with A "CELL MATE" in marriage! cheesy
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Nobody: 6:30pm On Feb 13, 2015
Oya make una talk o wink
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Nobody: 6:31pm On Feb 13, 2015
KanwuliaJara:


Because it is a fact!
We celebrate FREEDOM when we get divorced! cheesy
I live in a PRISON. . . called marriage.
I can't wait for a divorce! cry

See what 2 of my co-workers celebrated this week?

I thought they just graduated from one graduate school o . . . Come to find out say na DIVORCE we dey go celebrate!!!
MUCHECHECHECHEHECHE!!!! cheesy

Divorce nah. grin grin

On one hand, you boast of going home to meet your husband, while criticizing single women.

On the other hand you criticize mgbeke widows of absent husband (divorcees).

On still another hand, you talk about why can't black people stay married.

On the last hand, you criticize akata single hoodrats who are unmarried but have kids outside marriage.

On still the least hand, you boast about your adulterous escapades.

You still haven't seen the psychologist for you bipolar disorder, have you? cheesy

Mtschewww. You nor know say you Don old finish cheesy

Biko, after your divorce feel free to fix yourself into one of the above categories cheesy

7 Likes

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by sylve11: 6:36pm On Feb 13, 2015
KanwuliaJara:
It is more BORRRRRRRRING than being locked up in GUANTANAMO! cheesy
Your SOUL-MATE is always outside the marriage! grin

stop watching banged up abroad, u hear. i never see person like u b4 grin grin cool
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Bebetter: 6:37pm On Feb 13, 2015
[size=16pt]It's a constant work in progress, we have to keep working on it, through the good, the bad, the sweet and the ugly, we just have to keep working on it.. or else the "project" will surely end quite abruptly.[/size]

2 Likes

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Eluwilussit(m): 6:41pm On Feb 13, 2015
jnrbayano:


I'm unmarried still

There's no advice that can help you or anyone else. Each marriage is very unique. There's no marriage formula. Experience is the best teacher in marriage.

There are some normal everyday principles that can help. This is how I live mine.

1) live one day at a time.
2) don't Rush your actions when pissed.
3) forgive always.
4) fight fair. Don't say too much when angry. If possible, shut up.
5) always remember why you married your spouse.
6) avoid blames.
7) apologize when in the wrong. Men are never in the wrong. Are they?
cool be willing to share fuckups.
9) learn to give freely and expect nothing in return.
10) this is the most important to me: trust God for your spouse. Pray for your spouse every day.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Eluwilussit(m): 6:42pm On Feb 13, 2015
Eluwilussit:


There's no advice that can help you or anyone else. Each marriage is very unique. There's no marriage formula. Experience is the best teacher here.

There are some normal everyday principles that can help. This is how I live mine.

1) live one day at a time.
2) don't Rush your actions when pissed.
3) forgive always.
4) fight fair. Don't say too much when angry. If possible, shut up.
5) always remember why you married your spouse.
6) avoid blames.
7) apologize when in the wrong. Men are never in the wrong. Are they?
cool be willing to share fuckups.
9) learn to give freely and expect nothing in return.
10) this is the most important to me: trust God for your spouse. Pray for your spouse every day.

3 Likes

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Dahjhi: 7:04pm On Feb 13, 2015
obowunmi:
Pray before you marry.

Marry wrongly and it will cost you your health.
coughs.. English version of your moniker pls

1 Like

Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by DuchessLily(f): 7:06pm On Feb 13, 2015
IDEApro:
Marriage can be very sweet and interesting if you'd use your wisdom and can be very frustrating if you're insensitive and immaturegrin

Let me share...

I and wify(sic) came back from a church programme 8pm on Tuesday. She asked If I will join her in the indomie noodle she was preparing for dinner and I said No that I desired swallow. Something to fill the stomach properly cos there is this delicious oha soup she prepared the previous day. Honestly, I wish and scheme to finish all the liver,towel and other orishirishi used to prepare it. They were so fresh...grin

Few minutes later, my EBA and oha soup were served and my expectations grew into anger...this woman don serve me water soup...grin I look across to her doing justice to her well prepared garnished indomie...(oh men, that indomie tight...green pea, carrot, egg, lettuce) and shouted in frustration: ''Why is this soup watery, am I a prisoner?

Being angry that she is having a better dinner, I raised my displeasure to the power of X5. She explained that the soup I have is the amount she could scoop from the blocked quantity and that she complimented it with water. See me see more anger...I abandoned the food and hit the bed in annoyance. This time it was a mind game. The more she beg to prepare another one the more I cunningly form ''James bond'' and slept off afterwards without eating.

Next morning, after preparing to go out I ask for fried plantain and pap, she said whatever I need I should go get it myself (hangover from lastnightgrin) and I replied; ''since you have decided to starve me, don't shout harder to me any other night again cos I don't wanna faint'' and smiled. I guess she stole a smile, went into the room, got dressed and came out requesting I assist her with money to go see a friend. Women! I quickly dip hand into pocket and handed her a thousand naira bill and she left with just saying thank you.


I was at a lost whether to get angry again or smile off our foolishness when she came right back in with bunch of plantain then I knew my breakfast is guaranteed.
Afterwards she ask me to apologize for rejecting her food the previous night which I did and she became happy.

Umunwayi....God perfect gift.
Hmmm...interesting story...me likey smiley


God bless ur home

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