Marriage scares d hell out of me?

I often ask maself dis questions:

'What if I marry d wrong person?'

'What if she gets worse or becomes a monster afta marriage?'

'Wot if I get bored before one year?'

'Wot if I stop loving her or find out wot I had was not love but infatuation?'

I wish I had some answers:/

obongproff:
Marriage scares d hell out of me?

I often ask maself dis questions:

'What if I marry d wrong person?'

'What if she gets worse or becomes a monster afta marriage?'

'Wot if I get bored before one year?'

'Wot if I stop loving her or find out wot I had was not love but infatuation?'

I wish I had some answers:/

That makes two of us dear.
One person forever, no going back,
its enough to be scare and to be really careful and pray too.

So far,i have not seen anything i didn't expect. No one is perfect though but we learn to blend,coming from different background.
When there is something good in your marriage,say it out and encourage those interested in it.

We are tired of reading the bad stories in marriages.

You will get bored in marriage if you don't make a concious decision to NOT GET BORED.

You must never compare your wife to anyone in real life or the bible. (That Proverbs 31 woman had a wonderful husband whom you are not like).

you must not keep wanting to fix your husband. I swear, he doesn't want you to fix him, he wants you to make him a better him (a better Tunde, a better Uche, a better Adamu, not a Tunde who was turned into Kola).

Both of you are always wrong in a fight. So it is not "he said, she said", you are both wrong. All the time.

No-one will know if you knelt down to apologise to your wife/husband in private, in order to settle a fight, unless you tell them. So put your ego aside.

Find something nice to say to your spouse every day, find a joke to share with your spouse daily, find time to touch your spouse (caress their head, kiss their hand/cheek, tickle them) daily.

Onegai:
You will get bored in marriage if you don't make a concious decision to NOT GET BORED.

You must never compare your wife to anyone in real life or the bible. (That Proverbs 31 woman had a wonderful husband whom you are not like).

you must not keep wanting to fix your husband. I swear, he doesn't want you to fix him, he wants you to make him a better him (a better Tunde, a better Uche, a better Adamu, not a Tunde who was turned into Kola).

Both of you are always wrong in a fight. So it is not "he said, she said", you are both wrong. All the time.

No-one will know if you knelt down to apologise to your wife/husband in private, in order to settle a fight, unless you tell them. So put your ego aside.

Find something nice to say to your spouse every day, find a joke to share with your spouse daily, find time to touch your spouse (caress their head, kiss their hand/cheek, tickle them) daily.

Hahahahahaa

I heard to laugh!

Every nice post

IDEApro:
Marriage can be very sweet and interesting if you'd use your wisdom and can be very frustrating if you're insensitive and immature

Let me share...

I and wify(sic) came back from a church programme 8pm on Tuesday. She asked If I will join her in the indomie noodle she was preparing for dinner and I said No that I desired swallow. Something to fill the stomach properly cos there is this delicious oha soup she prepared the previous day. Honestly, I wish and scheme to finish all the liver,towel and other orishirishi used to prepare it. They were so fresh...

Few minutes later, my EBA and oha soup were served and my expectations grew into anger...this woman don serve me water soup... I look across to her doing justice to her well prepared garnished indomie...(oh men, that indomie tight...green pea, carrot, egg, lettuce) and shouted in frustration: ''Why is this soup watery, am I a prisoner?

Being angry that she is having a better dinner, I raised my displeasure to the power of X5. She explained that the soup I have is the amount she could scoop from the blocked quantity and that she complimented it with water. See me see more anger...I abandoned the food and hit the bed in annoyance. This time it was a mind game. The more she beg to prepare another one the more I cunningly form ''James bond'' and slept off afterwards without eating.

Next morning, after preparing to go out I ask for fried plantain and pap, she said whatever I need I should go get it myself (hangover from lastnight) and I replied; ''since you have decided to starve me, don't shout harder to me any other night again cos I don't wanna faint'' and smiled. I guess she stole a smile, went into the room, got dressed and came out requesting I assist her with money to go see a friend. Women! I quickly dip hand into pocket and handed her a thousand naira bill and she left with just saying thank you.


I was at a lost whether to get angry again or smile off our foolishness when she came right back in with bunch of plantain then I knew my breakfast is guaranteed.
Afterwards she ask me to apologize for rejecting her food the previous night which I did and she became happy.

Umunwayi....God perfect gift.

Eh?

But...but why go thru all that stress to begin with?

ifyalways:
Lolx. You and your colleagues eee. No boring moment.

It is more important to be happy than to be right. . .
Marriage taught me that.Fvck being morally,religiously correct/right, whatever makes me happy,I hold tight.

Even to his detriment?

IDEApro:
Marriage can be very sweet and interesting if you'd use your wisdom and can be very frustrating if you're insensitive and immature

Let me share...

I and wify(sic) came back from a church programme 8pm on Tuesday. She asked If I will join her in the indomie noodle she was preparing for dinner and I said No that I desired swallow. Something to fill the stomach properly cos there is this delicious oha soup she prepared the previous day. Honestly, I wish and scheme to finish all the liver,towel and other orishirishi used to prepare it. They were so fresh...

Few minutes later, my EBA and oha soup were served and my expectations grew into anger...this woman don serve me water soup... I look across to her doing justice to her well prepared garnished indomie...(oh men, that indomie tight...green pea, carrot, egg, lettuce) and shouted in frustration: ''Why is this soup watery, am I a prisoner?

Being angry that she is having a better dinner, I raised my displeasure to the power of X5. She explained that the soup I have is the amount she could scoop from the blocked quantity and that she complimented it with water. See me see more anger...I abandoned the food and hit the bed in annoyance. This time it was a mind game. The more she beg to prepare another one the more I cunningly form ''James bond'' and slept off afterwards without eating.

Next morning, after preparing to go out I ask for fried plantain and pap, she said whatever I need I should go get it myself (hangover from lastnight) and I replied; ''since you have decided to starve me, don't shout harder to me any other night again cos I don't wanna faint'' and smiled. I guess she stole a smile, went into the room, got dressed and came out requesting I assist her with money to go see a friend. Women! I quickly dip hand into pocket and handed her a thousand naira bill and she left with just saying thank you.


I was at a lost whether to get angry again or smile off our foolishness when she came right back in with bunch of plantain then I knew my breakfast is guaranteed.
Afterwards she ask me to apologize for rejecting her food the previous night which I did and she became happy.

Umunwayi....God perfect gift.

Nna mehn! I'm getting married tomorrow.

cococandy:

Not on nairaland bro.
If you don't have a sob story to tell,you're not really married or at best pretending to be happy.

I tried that once it backfired.
Got plenty of evil wishes that day.
I no do again.

Let Everybody learn from their own experience. Whether good or bad.

Ekwero m, you must share something.

bukatyne:
Here to read comments

anthoniaz:
I'm here to learn.Mine is still young.

Let me learn from the uncles and aunties

Usa!

Akpiri ogologo

ifyalways:
Lolx. You and your colleagues eee. No boring moment.

It is more important to be happy than to be right. . .
Marriage taught me that.Fvck being morally,religiously correct/right, whatever makes me happy,I hold tight.

Deep. Very deep!!

Isn't this somewhat self-centredness?

obongproff:
Marriage scares d hell out of me?

I often ask maself dis questions:

'What if I marry d wrong person?'

'What if she gets worse or becomes a monster afta marriage?'

'Wot if I get bored before one year?'

'Wot if I stop loving her or find out wot I had was not love but infatuation?'

I wish I had some answers:/

I wish the comments of people here will help allay such fears.

Vyolet:
So far,i have not seen anything i didn't expect. No one is perfect though but we learn to blend,coming from different background.
When there is something good in your marriage,say it out and encourage those interested in it.

We are tired of reading the bad stories in marriages.

The bad stories are welcomed too

Onegai:
You will get bored in marriage if you don't make a concious decision to NOT GET BORED.

You must never compare your wife to anyone in real life or the bible. (That Proverbs 31 woman had a wonderful husband whom you are not like).

you must not keep wanting to fix your husband. I swear, he doesn't want you to fix him, he wants you to make him a better him (a better Tunde, a better Uche, a better Adamu, not a Tunde who was turned into Kola).

Both of you are always wrong in a fight. So it is not "he said, she said", you are both wrong. All the time.

No-one will know if you knelt down to apologise to your wife/husband in private, in order to settle a fight, unless you tell them. So put your ego aside.

Find something nice to say to your spouse every day, find a joke to share with your spouse daily, find time to touch your spouse (caress their head, kiss their hand/cheek, tickle them) daily.

Correct!! Nice tips!!!

jnrbayano:
Experience they say is the best teacher, but a wise person learns from other people's experiences, good or bad.

What do you know right now about marriage which you probably didn't know when you were single?

We, in this side of the divide itch to learn too.

Please, can you share?

Putting someone else's need ahead of mine.

Not easy.

Pleasant Surprise: I'm FREE and make my own RULES.

Ewuro4:


Putting someone else's need ahead of mine.

Not easy.

Pleasant Surprise: I'm FREE and make my own RULES.

Your comment is filled with more questions than answers.

Marriage is overrated

RAKITIC:
Marriage is overrated

Please, how do you mean?

jnrbayano:


Please, how do you mean?

apart from having kids wat else do you gain frm marriage dat u cant have as a single guy

RAKITIC:
apart from having kids wat else do you gain frm marriage dat u cant have as a single guy

Companionship.

jnrbayano:


Companionship.

ur family members can be ur companion

RAKITIC:
ur family members can be ur companion

God himself ordained the marriage-kind-of companionship.

Was God crazy doing that?

@ ideapro- I'm lost...why is it the woman's role to automatically fix dinner? Both of u got back from church by 8pm probably after work, y can't u lend a helping hand, say like microwave the soup. If u were anywhere near the kitchen, u would have been aware of the fantastic noodles dish she was making or the challenges she was facing with the soup.

I know I prefer company in the kitchen while cooking so can't really muster much sympathy for u.

jnrbayano:


God himself ordained the marriage-kind-of companionship.

Was God crazy doing that?

wat of apostle paul in the bible

RAKITIC:
wat of apostle paul in the bible

The same Paul doesn't want you to emulate his single life if you wont be able to control your sexual urge.

Now tell me, can you?

Gloriagee:
@ ideapro- I'm lost...why is it the woman's role to automatically fix dinner?

Why is it the man's role to automatically marry you?

5minsmadness:

Why is it the man's role to automatically marry you?

Def not his role to marry me, if he's expecting a house maid. I'd rather pass. Not everyone is desperate, u know.

Gloriagee:


Def not his role to marry me, if he's expecting a house maid. I'd rather pass. Not everyone is desperate, u know.

Keep on passing till you clock 46.
Or don't you know there are gracious maids

Odillz:

Keep on passing till you clock 46.
Or don't you know there are gracious maids

No risk of that happening, shugah. Thanx for ur concern all the same

Gloriagee:


Def not his role to marry me, if he's expecting a house maid. I'd rather pass. Not everyone is desperate, u know.

Nobody is talking about housemaid. Its his role to marry you and he will, no need to argue. Its your role to take care of him and that includes cooking for him. If you can't do it pls don't marry. Like you said, not everyone is desperate.

5minsmadness:

Nobody is talking about housemaid. Its his role to marry you and he will, no need to argue. Its your role to take care of him and that includes cooking for him. If you can't do it pls don't marry. Like you said, not everyone is desperate.

It is my role to be his help meet not to take care of him. Listening to some guys talk bout getting married sounds like their would be wife's job description involves being a cook, washer woman n still sexual partner...in other words, taking care of 'him'.

I'm just imagining two tired people coming back from church, where kindness n empathy are being taught. One switches on super sports n is lounging waiting for his carer to serve him dinner, while the other starts cooking indomie n in between switches to eba.

What stops him from helping out? Nothing major? I'm assuming the woman has to work, wake up early to beat Lagos traffic n still contribute to the household purse.

Gloriagee:


It is my role to be his help meet not to take care of him. Listening to some guys talk bout getting married sounds like their would be wife's job description involves being a cook, washer woman n still sexual partner...in other words, taking care of 'him'.

I'm just imagining two tired people coming back from church, where kindness n empathy are being taught. One switches on super sports n is lounging waiting for his carer to serve him dinner, while the other starts cooking indomie n in between switches to eba.

What stops him from helping out? Nothing major? I'm assuming the woman has to work, wake up early to beat Lagos traffic n still contribute to the household purse.

Ok I see.

So you are saying the woman should be the one watching telemundo while the man does the cooking?

Just kidding.

In a marriage, everybody has their roles. Nobody expects you to fix the car if it has a problem, for instance. Manly duties are left for the males and wifely duties for the females.

Your imagination is what I think a lot of girls on this forum fear. That they'll become slaves in their marriage, wearing rags and sweating in the kitchen trying to cook for the family while the fat, hairy and lazy husband sits in the parlour with his feet up drinking beer and watching sports. This is a wrong projection of marriage and I'm sure you wont deliberately marry a man who would do such to you. I want to believe when two people get married they do it because the love each other, not because they are looking for slaves or because they want to answer Mrs. due to societal pressures.

Nothing stops the man cooking for you but it is not the norm. And if you care for him and not see him as a slavemaster but as someone you love then you wont mind cooking for him.