ammyluv2002:
Which one be Missionary?

Bend over, let me show you.

A lot of these pastors that worry about the sexual activity of others are usually battling demons of their own.

And by demons I mean other men, in the bedroom

cherryice:

With an inverted Pen1s, that would work out just fine

What?
The dude would have to have over 10in for that to work

I think pastors shld not be havin sex atall it is a sin 4 them,they shld be celibate like JC & paul d apostle.

Owu ya nno.

So we shouldn't give and receive head

cococandy:
Owu ya nno.

So we shouldn't give and receive head

Of course you can

CFCfan:

Of course you can

the pastor is high on holy water.

Sijo01:

He visually showed him these people’s sins on the “judgment screen”
.
.
.
.
Phonograph in heaven?

Hahahahahahahaha pornography in heaven indeed

priscaoge:


You again Now run along and don't spam my post....Thanks

Cc this one?

missionary Position does not make me or any one a missionary

CFCfan:

What?
The dude would have to have over 10in for that to work

10in or more..

babyosisi:
Is this a joke?
I once heard a Christian sister from China tell me that God will punish couples who over do sex i.e. have too much of it
I said hiya!

now this people are taking this too far no wonder there are a lot of broken hones

Where in the bible does it talk about love making positions or styles . Only ancient (holy-ish) book I know of that gives instructions on s, e, x is the Kama Sutra .

Serenity22:
I get what the pastor is trying to say, majority of those styles originated from pornography and we all know pornography is demonic.
Homosexuality, bestiality and all sort of horrors originated from pornography. People see it, try it out, like it and adopted it as normal. They proceed to teach others these ame things they copied from pornography.
Not like I am perrfect but if you read between the lines you will get what the pastor is trying to say. Therefore before you begin to mock the pastor, pray to God to teach you what to do and grant you a spouse who is ready to do God's will in every area of his or her life.
Donot think God doesn't care about your sexual life, everything counts before God even to the minutest detail. Before you practice that style as yourself where it originated from.

Confirm. I dey feel u,guy.

u wan spoil d man of God abi ;Du wan spoil d man of God abi

Truckpusher:

My bro ,these pastors dem no dey try at all.

I came across an old friend and she was on the side of the road waiting for a cab when I came driving through that area and I had to stop and give her a lift and we started gisting ,and when I enquired about her fleet of cars the story she told me moved me to tears.

To cut a long story short ,she had a terrible stroke and almost died and out of desperation to remain alive she spent money on her self ,sold her properties and when it became obvious that there is nothing the hospitals she had visited and spent money on could do for her she resorted to spiritual help and that was how she used all her cars to sow seed in four different churches.

At least she is still alive and planning to start everything all over again .
Bottom line is these pastors are using people's predicament to swindle them and it's bad.

kai!!! Dis truckpusher can lie en....
Hu dash u moto??

cococandy:
the pastor is high on holy water.

Lolz

Wot is he talking abt evil generation?
Did he missed d part of d bible DAT talked abt Sodom n Gomora?
Wot generation was DAT? It wasn't from our generation.
Pastor get ur facts clearly I beg u.

'Missionary?' Pls can d pastor post (with d wife) a demo tape? That would explain it this better, I don't know what he meant

redcliff:


I was looking for a sensible post on this thread.. its unfortunate that this was the only sensible post

I swear. A lot of silly posts here and there

Am sure most of this Lesbain nd Gay re conceived thro doggy,cowgirl nd dragon style..

Pastor ride on we follow u 4 bak..

Those comments insulting this pastor are simply acting on guilty conscience. Let your mind be the judge.

I just pity christian.... Whatever their useless pastors tell them they will just take it

The man wife don suffer for him hand,I'm sur thw woman no go dey gbadun the man's preek,because him go be one way traffc

cococandy:
Owu ya nno.

So we shouldn't give and receive head

you dey mind the man. He don forget say na adam's favourite be dat,while eve own na monkey style

D concept of sex is 2 fulfil ur sexual desires n that of ur partner frm wateva position u ar both comfortable wit. D man is ranting

Analytically, there is an element of truth in what the pastor is saying. Where do people learn these sexual positions if not from watching pornography which is sin in itself. So, let's face the facts, it is these sexual movies that teach all kinds of sexual perversions which ultimately make couples practise such acts

This yeye pastor contributes to sexual frustration amongst Nigerian couples

Satanic Sexual Ritual

Looking for a woman with evil appetites.
We will have nasty, evil, sweaty, probably illegal sexual encounters in order to bring about the rise of Lucifer. (ie Satan)
Must be willing to do all styles of sexual positions, except Missionary. That is the Lord's Way, and we will have none of that. Besides, if we do it Missionary, Satan gets angry and a kitten dies. I like kittens.

Must be into anal. For that is Satan's Alley. Must like blow jobs (Swallowing Lucifer's Gravy) and Hand Jobs (Milking the Evil Goat)
Must be into slight S&M (Safe word: Pink Sock)
Must be into erotic and evil costumes and lingerie. Leather Thongs, spikes, boots, black and evil bras that accentuate your bosom, Boba Fett costumes.
Must be willing to deep throat. (So that my satanic appendage will be closer to your black soul)
Must be into strap-ons so that I may feel the "Power of Beezlebub" coursing thru my lower intestines.

The perfect encounter will be this:

Meeting you at one of our local eatery's. Plying you with ample alcoholic libations. Enjoying a nice piece of animal flesh. Tipping the waiter only 10% instead of 15 to 20% (Because we are EVIL!) Taking you back to my lair. Removing your Gothic Garb, laying you roughly upon my "Sacrifice Altar" (Twin size futon), and promptly begin to nibble on your Satanic Slit. (Please shave before the ritual, as it's hard to be evil when you got pubes stuck in your fillings) Whence you are all moist with the Power of The Dark Lord's Juices, I will remove my cape and trousers and proceed to fill you with the Sceptre of His Infernal Majesty. You will writhe in pleasure so deep, it will call forth the Evil One himself! After 4 to 7 minutes of the most intense sexual experience of your God Fearing life, we will perform a Satanic Snuggle, until you gently fall asleep in my powerful arms.


If this taps into the Primordial Jelly you have buried deep down in your Dark Soul, then contact me and we will make beautiful, agonizing "love" together. We will combine our desires and perform rituals so evil, it will awaken the Evil Ancient One from His Firey Nap! He will spill forth from the Bowels of Hell like so much premature Satanic Ejaculate!!

Hails to the Evil One!!




Location: Santa Barbara
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His sexlife is dead. I hope he is married because he just cockblocked himself if he's not married and is looking for a wife,.

The holiest sex position is the doggy style. The chinese knew of this thousands of years ago. It also reinforces the power dynamics, and has allowed humanity to thrive by producing many offspring. Because the doggy style position does not require that you look at the face of the woman being penetrated, and this helps if she is butt ugly.