pickabeau1:


Its an opinion.. Nothing wrong with that

It's more than an opinion, it's a reality. Alas, it's not something those in the perpetual business of wearing rose-colored glasses can be forced into seeing. Nor do they fathom.

EnlightenedSoul:


It's more than an opinion, it's a reality. Alas, it's not something those in the perpetual business of wearing rose-colored glasses can be forced into seeing. Nor do they fathom.

Our perceptions determine our reality

pickabeau1:


Our perceptions determine our reality

Nothing more than a psycho-trash catchphrase. Alongside near meaningless perceptions exist verifiable realities.

EnlightenedSoul:


A psycho-trash catchphrase. Alongside meaningless perceptions exist verifiable realities.

Nope

Its not trash.....believe you me
You filter your reality via your senses n thoughts

I'm sure you are savvy enough to know that

pickabeau1:



Nope

Its not trash.....believe you me
You filter your reality via your senses n thoughts

I'm sure you are savvy enough to know that

The bolded is perception, not reality. Your perception can only be reality if & when it succeeds in aligning/corresponding with - wait for it - reality. Otherwise, it remains mere perception.

Psycho-trash is as psycho-trash is. Perception =/= Reality.

...believe you me.

EnlightenedSoul:


The bolded is perception, not reality. Your perception can only be reality if & when it succeeds in aligning/corresponding with - wait for it - reality. Otherwise, it remains mere perception.

Psycho-trash is as psycho-trash is. Perception =/= Reality.

...believe you me.

OK
I hear you

You call it whatever you want to call it

Does not negate it as a fact

I think that we are being too extremist here. It's obvious for some, marriage in terms of true partnerships (true partners aren't necessarily 50/50, they work together to compliment each other). For others, celibacy and the single life work better.

If I look how my life has played out, if I let myself be subject to marriage just because I had kids, indeed I would be unhappy. However, my children are human beings with emotions and need support and protection from both myself and their father. So, denying them that is abuse.

As adults, we can definitely choose how to live out lives in peace, accepting the burden that life costs on our own. As parents, we owe the lives we created peace and security until they are ready to choose the paths of their own lives.

That is all

Lol @ the passive aggressive exchange on this thread.
Lets all agree to disagree. If you support and desire single parenthood then by all means pursue it, if you don't support it then get hitched.
As far as I am concerned and will always be concerned marriage is a big scam.
I can't even think of one single thing I have to gain from it as a female.
Scam institution, scamming women since 1603

Becos they are greedy and selfish

Guy, go and face your life.
So because your cousin has paid the house rent this once and has been catering for a couple of things, er husband has become suddenly irresponsible?

Who has been handling the upkeep of everyone in the house since?

Good that you know a wife is to support the husband and to you just this once is not support to you?

Tell your cousin to discuss with her husband and find out what is really the issue and stop creating problem where there is non.

hahn:
I'd never do that because I'm competitive by nature. If my wife starts earning more than I do, ill start working harder to surpass her and I personally gain satisfaction from providing for the house.

This scenario can only be applicable to men who are naturally lazy/lack ambition and who look for the easy way out

I love this.

Jackeeh:
You cousin is lucky. I watched my mum cry severally cos of the embarrassment she received from my dad. I watched how my dad would cross certain things off the market list to reduce the little amount needed for feeding. It got so bad that I'd go to my dad's superstore to steal cash just so my mum could have some money in her purse( that I'm not proud of). She was just a secondary school teacher then. My dad has never bought anything for my mum. She worked hard, got promoted , became an academic supervisor etc. Fast forward to 2014: she retired n received her gratuity. Meanwhile dad who was a rich banker then, lost his job n was duped in a business deal he ventured into. Now mum is the one in charge. No more tears. She now runs the show. The jeep she bought, dad drives it. Everywhere they go, mum tells whoever cares tho listen that dad bought the car n not her. She has begun her building project n will soon become a landlady. She doesn't hesitate to give whenever dad needs cash. She has forgotten how it was. She has forgotten how this same man who is greatly benefitting from her now, used to abuse her n call her lazy n a liability. Lol. Now who's the liability? She doesn't hide her money from her "beloved'' husband. I get mad at times n wished she would retaliate. But my mum would have none of that. She now has more thasn enough wrappers n jewellries. No more tears. Hmmmmmmmmm I believe that's how marriage should be. So pls advise your cousin to do what she can. She's even blessed with money n can comfortably provide for herself n kids. If need be,let her do same for her husband. Things will change for the best someday. And of course, now that mum has some money, dad is not even contributing a dime anymore. Lol. Mum still believes he will change some day. But as we wait for that day to come, mum is smoothly running the home n everyone is happy.

you see why I prioritise a good and down to earth lady as a wife than all these cosmetic good for nothing toothpick-legged ladies.
if you have a wife as good as this woman,trust me,you'll have a peace of mind and enjoy yourself than even d president of any country of the world.














NB:A GOOD WOMAN IS PRICELESS!!!

Some men can be funny sha

mutter:
A man caters for the family with the help of the woman.


It is wrong to think that the man has to carry all the financial burden and responsibilities.
In some cases the women earn nearly a much or even more than the men.

Men have huge responsibilities. Their parent and extended family, investing and so much more.

Why should it be an issue for the woman to have paid a rent?
Since I am also self employed apart from my job my husband never really knows how much I earn. But I always let him know and even give him most of the money for the home. He was and still is very reluctant but I insist.

I love that man so much I could not bear to let him struggle through all the responsibilities alone.
Because my husband is really mostly focused on the home and the family back home, it does not bother me at all. If you love a man, then you want to support him as much as you can. It has been that way since we married and it works for us.
However I must admit that it was not very easy. At a stage my husband was shouldering too many responsibilities at the expense of the kid`S. We solved it like we sole all serious issues. Written contact between us. We reach a compromise and put it in writing. It really works.

I just make sure I keep enough money back to be able to indulge my kid`s once in a while

urs id better at least he knows its his responsibility nd hes trying his best.

how about a man who doesnt av a job for over a year while d wife works nd get a monthly salary of 25,000. with 2 kids nd stil pays other bills asides sch fees and rent .

evry other expenses is handled by d wife even to soap nd little items which in some cases he lies he dosnt av even after seeing some cash in his wallet.

CrazyMan:
A very good morning to you all, and I'm guessing you all had a great weekend.

I was with a female cousin of mine yesterday (married) and she was lamenting to me how her has husband has annoyingly stopped giving her money for the upkeep of the family.

She said she now has to hide her money from him most times cos whenever he discovers she has any, he distances himself from any form of financial responsibilities that concerns the family.

The reason when I inquired started fully when she handed over a cheque from her personal account to the caretaker in regards to their rent.

She said she and her husband had a discussion the night before, and he promised her that she would be reimbursed if she settles the rent, but changed suddenly when she paid the money.

Now that I've paid the rent, he doesn't drop a penny in the house she told me. She's the one practically shouldering all the financial responsibilities. Ranging from their kids expenses to kitchen expenses to house expenses which include NEPA bills, purchase of water for their geepee tank...etc.

According to her, she only has a rough idea of what her husband earns and very little idea of what he spends it on.

I know some men are irresponsible but this case supersedes irresponsibility. I prefer to tag the man an over grown baby. Someone who has refused to mature.

As a man I believe its your responsibility to provide for your family regardless of the kind of job your wife does. You wife is there for support and not for you to abandon your responsibilities for. Every man should always bear that in mind.

What do you guys think?

This sounds weird. A marriage is a partnership, right? Both partners should provide for the family not the other way round.

Things have changed and I'll only agree that a man should provide everything if he's the dominant type that doesn't want to do house chores.
You also said irrespective of what your wife earn? Are you for real?
What is the wife supposed to do with her money?
Your topic literally shows the reason why it's better to marry a financially stable woman. The upkeep of the family is the responsibility of both partners.
This is why marriage should be defined from the beginning.
A woman paid house rent and she's expecting the money to be reimbursed, sounds funny though.
You two live in the same house but you can't spend your money without complaining.
Like I just said marriage should be defined from the beginning like they should know what they're signing up for. If they're going to share bills and house chores etc. If you conclude on sharing bills and house chores you can't hide your money because when it's your turn you must provide.
I hate deception. The man obviously has been providing everything she complained for but he never complained but she did so in a little period but she's already complaining.
Studies have revealed that being the sole provider isn't good for any man's health.

mekybabe1:
Sometimes I blame the woman. No matter how rich she is, do not show it. Men love to be in charge and when you make them feel you can be in charge too, they "take a seat and watch". My dad did same too, my friends had same story to tell so I didn't let that happen to me. Till date, my hubby doesn't know how much I earn. He pays the rent,kids fees, repairs the cars, gives me food allowance and all I do is "support" eg. I go to the market with the money given to me and if I see anything else we might need at home, I use my money without even letting him know. If I see lovely toys or clothes for the kids, I buy them with my money. He tried to complain once, but I told him it's a taboo in my place for a woman to feed her family and take up a man's responsibilities . So he got used to it except of course, if he doesn't have a job( God forbid!) and I will definitely take over from where he stopped . Quote author=CrazyMan post=30997557]A very good morning to you all, and I'm guessing you all had a great weekend.

I was with a female cousin of mine yesterday (married) and she was lamenting to me how her has husband has annoyingly stopped giving her money for the upkeep of the family.

She said she now has to hide her money from him most times cos whenever he discovers she has any, he distances himself from any form of financial responsibilities that concerns the family.

The reason when I inquired started fully when she handed over a cheque from her personal account to the caretaker in regards to their rent.

She said she and her husband had a discussion the night before, and he promised her that she would be reimbursed if she settles the rent, but changed suddenly when she paid the money.

Now that I've paid the rent, he doesn't drop a penny in the house she told me. She's the one practically shouldering all the financial responsibilities. Ranging from their kids expenses to kitchen expenses to house expenses which include NEPA bills, purchase of water for their geepee tank...etc.

According to her, she only has a rough idea of what her husband earns and very little idea of what he spends it on.

I know some men are irresponsible but this case supersedes irresponsibility. I prefer to tag the man an over grown baby. Someone who has refused to mature.

As a man I believe its your responsibility to provide for your family regardless of the kind of job your wife does. You wife is there for support and not for you to abandon your responsibilities for. Every man should always bear that in mind.

What do you guys thing?

Of what use is earning a salary of you can't contribute to the well-being of the family?

Lol it's good you married a traditional man or alpha male. A civilized man like me will share bills with you even I'm a billionaire because I also share house chores.

Taboo, lol ..your tradition will marry you then.

Hanseel1:


This sounds weird. A marriage is a partnership, right? Both partners should provide for the family not the other way round.

Things have changed and I'll only agree that a man should provide everything if he's the dominant type that doesn't want to do house chores.
You also said irrespective of what your wife earn? Are you for real?
What is the wife supposed to do with her money?
Your topic literally shows the reason why it's better to marry a financially stable woman. The upkeep of the family is the responsibility of both partners.
This is why marriage should be defined from the beginning.
A woman paid house rent and she's expecting the money to be reimbursed, sounds funny though.
You two live in the same house but you can't spend your money without complaining.
Like I just said marriage should be defined from the beginning like they should know what they're signing up for. If they're going to share bills and house chores etc. If you conclude on sharing bills and house chores you can't hide your money because when it's your turn you must provide.
I hate deception. The man obviously has been providing everything she complained for but he never complained but she did so in a little period but she's already complaining.
Studies have revealed that being the sole provider isn't good for any man's health.

LOL.... Who revived this thread.

Read through what I posted. She's complaining not because she's shouldering the responsibilities; her annoyance is that her husband has practically left everything to her. It's not like he isn't working but he's not using his earnings to cater for the home.

If he was supporting with whatever he can afford no matter how small, I don't think she'll complain.

And the issue of the rent, I believe you misunderstood her point of view. She and her husband discussed about it. He asked her to settle it and she will be repaid. In marriage honesty and truthfulness is what keeps you going.

There's nothing wrong if a husband tells his wife to settle the rent if he doesn't have the money to do so. But trying to be cunning about it is what made her annoyed.

CrazyMan:

LOL.... Who revived this thread.

Read through what I posted. She's complaining not because she's shouldering the responsibilities; her annoyance is that her husband has practically left everything to her. It's not like he isn't working but he's not using his earnings to cater for the home.

If he was supporting with whatever her can get afford no matter how small, I don't think she'll complain.

And the issue of the rent, I believe you misunderstood her point of view. She and her husband discussed about it. He asked her to settle it and she will be repaid. In marriage honesty and truthfulness is what keeps you going.

There's nothing wrong if a husband tells his wife to settle the rent if he doesn't have the money to do so. But trying to be cunning about it is what made her annoyed.

....

what a lazy irresponsible man