I was at a valentine programme at our zonal headquarters last year and the topic was, Am I old enough to date? All the moderators including the male amongst them was advising the girls to avoid guys and not to believe their lies. I began thinking,are ladies the only victims of pre marital relationship went wrong? I voiced my opinion and they answered saying the effects on ladies was more immediate than that of guys so that is why more focus is on the ladies. Due to time I did not probe further allowing sleeping dogs to lie, but I do not mind waking the sleeping dogs now no matter the consequences if there is any.
I understood the answer given but why neglect the guys, or are we not affected by pre marital relationships? We have been painted wrongly, we are victims too. But are we to be blamed? Are our wrong actions pre meditated? Is it really in our agenda to hurt the girl at last? No, though there are exceptions. Apart from the guys who delights in playing games with the heart of ladies(even ladies are guilty) the rest of us mean no harm.
So why do we demand sex before marriage or breaking of hearts? Here are some reasons:
~ We are lustful in nature and easily turned on by female assets, it takes a lot of mental discipline and God's grace for us not to give in to lust.
~ We desire to be loved and have been made to believe sex is an expression of that love because we feel great while doing it.
~ Once sex is given to us we gradually begin to feel dissatisfied because the pleasure is short lived and the lady loses her appeal. At this stage we might retain her if she has other values we benefit from or incase we need her services again if no other source is available.
~ Peer pressure from guys who has wrong mindset and believes relationships cannot work without sex or thinks dating is a game.
~ Wrong mindset about relationships propagated by the media.
These are the primary reasons for our demand for sex in a relationship. So how can you ladies help us make our relationship with you godly and devoid of break up? Understand that we can get lustful sometimes and demand hugs, pecks and 'touchs' please do not give in. It will be easier to help us control it and do not fall for our if you love me speech, because if you do love us you will say no. Do not think it is just hug and peck it is more than that to us. It actually means we are making progress towards sex, and the more you give in the more your no is taken for granted. Also your dressing matters we can already naked a fully clothed lady in our minds when we get lustful, therefore do not encourage us by flashing your assets especially the thighs. A giver may be wanted by us but we do not love them.
What are we to do as guys? Be truthful to yourself, the Bible says the truth shall set you free. Do not deny the feeling but also do not give in to it, ask for God's help if it is overwhelming. Also understand when she says no she actually means no. Yes she could be seduced to do otherwise but it is against her will. Flee from anything that will make you sexually aroused. May God help us live the life he desires. Contributions, questions and comments will be appreciated send to blacksmithconcepts@gmail.com. #raisingtheBAR
Remain Blessed.

long story

Ezedon:
long story

but true.