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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? (48548 Views)
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Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by deevatee(f): 10:35pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
ndyemi:what re u saying bro? Didn't u hear of a girl dat stuck to her bf since 300 level in uni..graduated, was helping d guy it cash and all dat and d fool later dumped her after a whole 11 years of waiting? Som guys are simply not worth it |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by fistonati(m): 10:51pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
I think Its abt parenting, if stage has been duely set since early stage dey wil hv educatn @ d right time, value men wit respect & take d tight step at d right time. Endurance is also lacking ds days |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Nobody: 10:53pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
The guys blaming ladies for not marrying in their twenties, have they bothered to ask why the guys in their age group never got married to their girlfriends in school? How many relationships in school lead to marriage? Who are the men that are going to marry ladies in their 20s? Older men who should be allowing these ladies concentrate in school or young men in their 20s who dnt even know their future yet and still depend on their parents? Are you all saying that a lady while schooling should forget about her education so that she can get married in her 20s? How many of you guys in your 20s are ready to get married? What is the use of a lady going to school in the 1st place since marriage is the ultimate in life? You can see that this our morally debased and confused society has no future for any of us. Its a confused society we live in and the sooner we learn to live our lives for our happiness only, the better. I dnt know why people continue to do things in order to please this ever confused society of ours. No wonder nigerian marriages are shams!! You complain of ladies having nothing to offer. How will ladies be intelligent upstairs when all we know in naija is 'Marry Marry Marry'? Y'all who are parents dnt teach ladies anything other than to aspire to marriage. You teach ladies way too much about marriage but teach nothing to the males? You teach ladies to be ever desperate for marriage whie the males look on. what d you expect? Can you get what you dnt give? NO. So expect more dumb ladies around. You want intelligent females? Then learn to pipe down on the marriage talk. We are too obsessed with marriage and still we never get it right in marriages. Sucha shame! 1 Like |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by djon78(m): 10:56pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
ndyemi: u got it spot on, many of them were doing shakara in their 20s, and the guys when they are ready to marry will go for the younger and fresher women. 1 Like |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Tallesty1(m): 11:05pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
bluestone2015:why? bluestone2015:Not true, the first mission given to man was to increase and multiply. Bible did warn that a group that will forbid marriage will one day appear bluestone2015:Not because marriage was bad but because they married for the wrong reason bluestone2015:If you are thirty and single, pray, check yourself and adjust. bluestone2015:God is not dual tongued, he cannot send one to go, increase and multiply and then turn around and will it that she stay single. bluestone2015:What if her mother had stayed single for thesame reason, would she be born? bluestone2015:A man choked while swallowing eba and died that way, shall we stop eating eba then? bluestone2015:Do you think God will give her a wicked husband if she is close to him? bluestone2015:Oga, many people(soldiers) have been killed while fighting boko-harm, shall we scrap the army because people die there? Road accidents killed people daily yet we still ride cars and motorcycles. bluestone2015:Enough of this consolation comment bro. bluestone2015:God will reward her for saving a soul and then punish her again for fornication, you sef bluestone2015:Everything God created is good, marriage inclusive, men have altered his plan for mankind and that's why we suffer. |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Nobody: 11:20pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
cokacoola:Respect yourself naw |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Nobody: 11:51pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Tallesty1:Titi got stabbed by husband multiple times and they were both born again. God doesn't save anyone only you can save yourself. |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Nobody: 11:54pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
EggovinMma:Thanks love it's true there's power in the tongue I retract my statement. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by eagleeyez: 11:54pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
dabossman: Please kindly assist us in correcting it.if nairalanders had an issue with it, then it won't be viewed over 20,000 times and still counting neither will it have over 300 posts and counting The message is clear and definitely we are all learning from this. Do have a wonderful night's rest |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by frisby: 12:50am On Mar 17, 2015 |
Yareey: I see. And you can bet long-term (30yrs n above of marital) happiness on this singular initial click? Interesting. And these eternal-living butterflies you speak of. I'm sure u're the expert, but I find that highly improbable. I mean, do these butterflies hang around for more than 3-12months? I only ask because I've never met anyone who has given me butterflies for more than a couple of months, 2-3. And the duration of fluid gist for me depends on my mood at the time of discussion. So how does one determine future happiness based on these initial signs? Well I could be wrong. maybe I should open a thread asking the married ones how long their butterflies hung around and how accurately that initial "click" predicted long term compatibility. I generally do not trust emotions/feelings. But I hope to find someone soon who'll make me a believer. 2 Likes |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Jay5000(m): 2:43am On Mar 17, 2015 |
As much as most people dont like to admit it due to political and religious correctness, the truth is that monogamy is unsustainable. Even if every eligible bachelor marries, there will still be loads of girls left without husbands. XX-XY crossings, infant mortality ratios, wars, frats etc... all give a clear picture of the "why". Husband scarcity was also recorded even in the old testament days (isaiah 4:1) when polygamy was acceptable. it's just a few decades since we dumped polygamy and it's looking this bad already. Imagine what the situation will look like 30years from now when everyone will have at least a sister or a relative who cant get a husband? Maybe then we will stop the denials and restrategize. I really feel sorry for the ladies in this situation. 4 Likes |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Nobody: 5:44am On Mar 17, 2015 |
IMHO, i think this applies to money also. when you are rich and money flows in regularly from your businesses you tend to believe things can't really go wrong. i mean, before it goes wrong, i would have taken this and that step. sorry, when it happens, it happens really fast and all those "this and that" steps will surprisingly start failing then you hear words like "he used to be very rich" When a lady is in her twenties, she has men coming at the rate of say 5/day she will never accept a time will come when men won't come, even if you are the mother of all wife materials well, before it gets that bad, i would just pick one of these guys disturbing me sorry, it usually happens very fast. 2 Likes |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Nobody: 7:21am On Mar 17, 2015 |
frisby:The butterfly comment was more or less a joke. He needs to be able to move feelings in me, I won't stay interested if he doesn't. That's just me. There is no wrong or right way to look for a partner. We all have to do what ever feels right to us. For me I'm not impressed by necessarily but basic things like being trust worthy, somebody you can build on, reasonable ect. There are a lot of good man so how do you pick from them? Some fancy a man with a lot of money, power, good looks. I fancy a man who can be my best friend, one who enjoys the things I enjoy. 5 Likes |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by simdam500(m): 8:57am On Mar 17, 2015 |
cokacoola: op, so becurse you are 38 and stay simgle you want go force a guy intwo umprapred marriage |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by onyenro(m): 9:29am On Mar 17, 2015 |
Jay5000:you nailed it. |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by volo112: 9:36am On Mar 17, 2015 |
bablojnr: THANKS FOR THE FREE DATA U SENT ME THIS MORNING AS PROMISED FOR THE FIRST 1O PEOPLE, I DOUBTED YOUR MSSG NOT UNTIL I RECEIVED THE MSSG FROM 229(ETISALAT), ONCE AGAIN THANKS |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by volo112: 9:38am On Mar 17, 2015 |
; |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by idonbilivit(m): 10:35am On Mar 17, 2015 |
This is a country with 18K per month as minimum wage,while the cheapest low key traditional wedding will cost you 200k. You are expected to pay your rent,rates,bills and upkeep also from the 18k. The average salary of a graduate is 40K. How do you support yourself let alone a wife and kids? Thank God it's just over 30 years now, with the rate oil is falling like Asian airlines and dollar rising like ijebu garri inside water ladies will soon be hitting 50 years before marriage. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by olonfioted: 10:35am On Mar 17, 2015 |
Unemployment. Is the main cause. |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Doveheart: 10:37am On Mar 17, 2015 |
As a matter of fact, the percentage of ladies waiting for already made husband is far more than those who are ready to be bread winners. I have quite sizable numbers of them in my finger tips. Some of them wil ask where do you work? and stylishly they will ask wether you have a car? It is quite understandable that nobody wants to marry a ''nobody'' man, but it is the nobody of today that becomes the somebody of tomorrow. Many ladies are oblivious of the fact that men or better still, husbands cherishes more the lady that they dated when they were nobody and later involved together with them the process of what has made them somebody today. For MOST them it is not ''WITHOUT PAIN THERE IS NO GAIN'' but it is GAIN GAIN GAIN GAIN all the way. 3 Likes |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by jarfarchiks(m): 10:54am On Mar 17, 2015 |
dovelike:. Dovechild is awesome |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Nobody: 10:59am On Mar 17, 2015 |
Doveheart:I couldn't agree more with bold part. |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by DeRuggedProf: 11:06am On Mar 17, 2015 |
ronald4lif: Some of these girls in their thirties must have turned down many potential suitors when they were in their twenties. Their heads were swelling then......NO MORE COMMENT. THIS IS 99.99% of the problem. Do not ask for METHODOLOGY! 2 Likes |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Gamesmart: 11:12am On Mar 17, 2015 |
Yareey: I hardly know of any Somali girl that is allowed to date, be seen hanging with her boyfriend, invite the boyfriend home or even to explore dating outside the Somali or Muslim community. Those are restrictions. Lets not forget, considering your dressing mode, many men would be reluctant to approach you on the streets because they would think you will feel offended or it would be inappropriate by your religious standards. The hijab is mostly a repellent of most men. It limits your pool and restricts your ability to engage and mix outside. Even the few Muslim men that might approach you, can't date you freely. So how can it be easy to find a man to click with? 2 Likes |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by frisby: 12:45pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Yareey: Good Point. You're quite right. We all have these things we look for in a mate. There re also a lot of good ladies out there, but then compatibility becomes another factor to consider. I learned something from you. So thank you. |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Nobody: 1:13pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Gamesmart:You sound like you have met quite a few Somalis. I don’t know what the status is in Africa but ladies in the West do date, hang out and some even take their boyfriends home to introduce him to the family. So you are wrong about that. However you are right about dating outside the Somali/Muslim community. It’s frowned upon and they will talk about a girl/guy who dates or marries outside. Children out of those relationships are not considered "real Somalis" especially if it’s from a girl because the Somali clan lines goes thru the father. However nobody will attack you or harm you in any way. You free to do whatever you want, you just have to be willing to take the backlash. I know a lot of Somalis who are dating or married with non Somalis, sometimes even non Muslims. Funny that you say this. I wear a hijab almost 3 years now and I’m wondering why I waited so long with this step. Hijab works as a filter in dating, haven’t been harassed or gotten unwanted attention in years!! Men who can’t accept my religion or just want a girl to fool around with don’t even try. It made that whole dating thing easier because I know they are serious if they gathered the courage to talk to me. Finding a compatible partner is hard for everyone but the focus strategy is working out for me. Few muslim men? Come on now!! There are more than enough of them and they sure as hell can date me freely frisby:Your more then welcome |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Doveheart: 1:46pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Gamesmart: 3:35pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Yareey: Yes, I know Somalis are not the attacking or harming type because they object to a relationship. They are not like Arabs, Bangladeshi or Pakistani. No honour killing. The just verbalise their objection and some would cut off the Somali girl. Even a Somali guy would get a bit of backlash, but more so the girl. And such emotional punishment is enough threat/punishment to discourage the girls. I don't even think many can dare take a boyfriend home unless they are engaged. Yareey: This restricts you pool positively and negatively. Even some good Muslim boys who accept your religion would refrain from approaching you because that, in most interpretations, is un-Islamic. And most of the ones that do, would do it in an Islamic-adherent-way as possible. This means little informal contacts and you would struggle to know you partner well enough to click. You will only click on a religious and religion-complaint level. You are more likely to get a good Muslim, not a man you click with. Yareey: There are a lot of Muslim men, but only a few would approach a Muslim woman in hijab in public. Again restricting your pool. 1 Like |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Nobody: 4:27pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Gamesmart:Yeah honour killings is not in our culture and even the emotional backlash will stop ones the couple get kids. My grandfathers sister married a Italian man in 1960 in Mogadishu of all places. They both survived it and their daughter grew up with my mom and her sister. They take the boy/girl home before they get engaged. Most time they will just meet with the mother and not father. Personally I have never taken a boy home, I just don't want to deal with explaining why it didn't work out with X, Y, Z Some will not ask your number on the streets, but they chat with you and add you on facebook. Or they will get your number from other folks. Either way it's a price worth paying!! At least I don't have to deal with rude guys. You speak as if you are a isolated hijabi lady Again I don't know what the situation is in Africa but I see Somali couples walking hand in hand on daily basis. |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Gamesmart: 6:14pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Yareey: Lol. I am a Nigerian bloke. Yes, I know they stop once kids come into the picture. Another thing I know is that the Somali society in the West have a high divorce rate. I think that is the downside of lack of freedom to explore freely. It is harder to know the person you are going to marry and building your social skills is impeded as you don't mix with people and different variety of people enough. So there are pros and cons. |
Re: So Many Ladies Over The Age Of 30, Please What Is The Problem!!!? by Nobody: 6:46pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Gamesmart:So you fish and chips Nigerian. Should have known, were else would a Nigerian learn so much about Somalis lol. Your wrong it has nothing to do with not lack of freedom. Arabs don't have that issue and neither do Asians. We do not believe in staying in a miserable marriage for the sake of staying together. And our ladies can remarry easily, our men are open minded about marrying a woman with "baggage" Also this doesn't just happen in the West but everywhere. Edit: we way of topic now so this will be my last reply. It was nice chatting with you |
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