Emotional Blackmail in Relationships. A necessary evil?

Emotional blackmail as defined by Susan Forward Ph.d.,, is a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten to punish us,directly or indirectly if we don't do what they want.

Emotional Blackmail exists in different forms,,but the crux of our discussion is emotional blackmail in relationships.

This is a very big disease that has infested so many relationships and marriages today and has also been the cause of so many break-ups and divorce in our society.

People who use emotional blackmail are usually illogical in reasoning. They live by a double standard. They want you to do what they themselves will not do if they are in your situation.

And the moment you try to question them or discuss it they'll try to distract you by changing the subject or deny it's existence; or being angry and dramatic. They'll turn everything towards you. Take for example when you confront her with this question:

"Are you saying I should not hang out with my friends on a saturday night but it's cool for you to go shopping with the girls during the weekend and then you sleep over?"

The supposed anger may have nothing to do with the particular topic,,they just want to throw you off balance and diverge from it.

There are certain behaviours that some of our Ladies display in relationships and we tend to over look it because she is a "woman". Some of this behaviours are totally wrong and are not meant to be accepted. Accepting it means you have agreed to die slowly.

Many a times i've heard women saying emotional blackmail is very necessary for them. A female nairalander once said and I quote "I know it's bad but it's necessary because I use it to get what I want from him"

One point to note that women usually use this tactic when they cannot ask their partner directly. It could be that they want him to stay with them and keep them company. They rather sulk and keep a moody face than tell him what's on their mind and when he asks,,they say "Nothing is wrong".

Also they tend to use words like "I know you don't have my time" or "You are not caring at all". Even when some of them know deep down that they've got one of the most caring men ever.

There are so many examples and experiences of emotional blackmail in relationships today and it's becoming almost like a norm.
While some men are standing against it,,others have chosen to accept it as a "Natural Behaviour" in their partner and so they die slowly inside until the relationship or Marriage can no longer hold.

Emotional Blackmail is not a necessary evil to get what you want from your partner. Or get him to do certain things for you. IMO

What's your view on this?

Also share your experiences for others to learn
Cc:Lalasticlala

saaedlee:
I don't think I can be cornered in any relationship I go into

Jezyfreezman:
Iss0kay

alberto2k:

Make una dey chop space o

Jezyfreezman:
Iss0kay

naijaboiy:


Make una dey chop space o

Acekidc4:


Nigga, owfar Na!!
Ow ya Nite??

Oga you wan derail so o

Acekidc4:


Nigga, owfar Na!!
Ow ya Nite??

naijaboiy:

Lol,,how do you mean?

naijaboiy:

Oga you wan derail so o

Acekidc4:


You no go vex Ni oh, naso the spirit lead me!! Shout halleluyah Somebody

Baba na my boss geh this thread na

Jor make we go find another place no vess

Jezyfreezman:
Br0s fyn 0....hw urz nah

Jezyfreezman:
Br0s fyn 0....hw urz nah

Dyt:
It happens in every relationship jor
I do it too
He does it cos he knows I care too much
But when it gets too much, it becomes messy

Acekidc4:


Omo Na Ashana house fit do am Oh!!

I nack Apako till Daybreak Ni oh
Tramadol Na Bad Medicine

alberto2k:
She can try at her own peril, she blackmails and I blacklist her outta my mind and head till she repents
I can't give any girl the pleasure of watching me suffer... It ain't worth Iswear

But I do it too... Happens in every real relationship

If you do it too she will blacklist you na?

alberto2k:

Baba na my boss geh this thread na

Jor make we go find another place no vess

Acekidc4:


Omo Na Ashana house fit do am Oh!!

I nack Apako till Daybreak Ni oh
Tramadol Na Bad Medicine

naijaboiy:

That's the point at bolded.

But don't you think it can be totally avoided?

Jezyfreezman:
hahahaha....me retire 4rm tramadol 3years ago......0m0,...E q0 tey b4 u reLease 0o

naijaboiy:

If you do it too she will blacklist you na?

yeah! And I'll only "repent" if she's as pretty as oji river goddess, that's if my ego let's me

But in the maintime, I'll be cooling off with Nkechi, Nneka and Ngozi till we both "repent" and make up