If It Were You, What Will You Do? - Romance - Nairaland
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| If It Were You, What Will You Do? by nmadi(f): 12:05pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
Hi, If you are fed up with a man's irresponsible character and you want to get out of the relationship and you find out that you are consiously or unconsiously thinking about him even after several months of telling him you dont want the relationship to continue. What do you do, considering that you dont want to go back to him again. Response before my darling friend and sis. goes KOLOMENTAL. |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by SEgbo(f): 12:11pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
Breaking up is never easy - thats why no one likes to do it. You should break up with him and stick to it and do not change your mind. He will treat you even worse if he knows you will keep coming back to him. It will be hard at first but eventually you will move on and realise that you made the right decision. Everyone deserves to be happy and i wish you the best of luck. |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by Omolola1(f): 12:18pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
My observation is that she is still very much in lve with the guy. My advise is that she should call him up and talk to him (a one on one talk) then him she does not like his behaviour and also beg him to change his attitude. She would be surprised that he would listen to her and things would change for the better. Instead of her killing herself emotionally. |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by SEgbo(f): 12:27pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
Yes it would also be a good idea to talk to him - but i wouldn't stand for it. A man knows when he is not treating a woman right and there should be no need to ask him to behave because he should just do it! If he respects you enough he should anyway. If you really want to make this work then talk to him and tell him he needs to change - if he doesn't do it after you have spoken to him then you really need to end it. It's a hard situation to be in - when you love someone so much its hard to let go but if he's not treating you right then there is someone out there that will! |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by iice(f): 2:52pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
nmadi: I don't see the problem. She ended it, she 'knows' she doesn't want to go back to him. So thinking about him consciously or unconsciously should be a phase  I think people should accept the decision they themselves made and stick to it. |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by JJYOU: 2:57pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
let him go. it is hard but no one should be big enough to occupy your mind too long |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by Ben13: 3:03pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
still thinking of him after several months, let her go back to him, he's her real hubby. But, has she gone KOLOMENTAL? |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by tope2000(f): 3:06pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
Still thinkin of him after SEVERAL months? Errrr . . . . .dnt know abt that |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by MissyB1(m): 3:14pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
SEgbo:You have say it finish!! Oops!! sorry . . .I meant:You have said it all . . .Gbam!! |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by LIMUEL(m): 3:24pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
She is thinking of him because she is idle let her get busy Let her also get someone else to fill the space |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by Czarskit(m): 3:32pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
Seems like u want to go back. . . U only want sum encouragement, well here it is! If u sure don't want to go back, then I don't see a reason 4 this thread. . . Go back if u want 2 or forever hold ur Who said 'U' can't or shouldn't go back? It's ur life so follow ur heart so that only u will enjoy d glory (if it works out) or take d blame (if it fails). . . |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by ogazi007(m): 3:40pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
let him go. it is hard but no one should be big enough to occupy your mind too long Not when good cash and quality sex are involved,these two things are very rare to come by in this part of the world. talk things over with him or keep searching till u get a close substitute. |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by toffy: 3:55pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
If it were me, I will stick with my decision ie let him go. There is no point talking someone into behaving right in a relationship. A man should by default always respect his woman. |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by Magz(m): 4:03pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
nmadi: Well do you think that the guy is till thinking of you after so much time? Or has he moved on with his life?? Omolola1: Not likely. |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by Lovelace: 4:16pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
Attachment issues or is it detachment. It's hard to break an habit,reason why people fumble with new year resolutions after a couple of days. Before i get ahead of myself,why be with someone whom you are obviously fed up with? A good way to stop thinking of someone who has left a scar,is to refocus your energy on positive thinking. Get a new wardrobe,pick up a new hobby,call old friends on the phone,learn something new,go back to school,get a new hairstyle,delete the text messages and pictures,meet new people,the list is endless. My point is-you can do anything if you put your mind to it. Don't stay static! |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by steve49ja(m): 4:31pm On Jan 27, 2009 |
**yawns** |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by tRoOE(f): 2:23am On Jan 28, 2009 |
You have to be mentally/emotionally ready to leave the relationship Judging by what you wrote, i don't think you are, maybe you are scared of been alone nor do you want to let go You know the right thing to do |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by topup: 3:04am On Jan 28, 2009 |
I would rather go through the pain now, under my own control than later when he breaks my heart with his irresponsible behaviour. It's not easy breaking up with someone you care for, but time apart should make your thoughts clearer, that way you can even identify if he's really worth fighting for. |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by ravenesque: 5:15am On Jan 28, 2009 |
Individuals are different, so while it would take some people a week Max. to snap out of a tired relationship, it took a friend of mine two years. Although I initially had sympathy for my friend, she began to get on my nerves after the first year. Your friend probably has reminders of the guy around her, or she is doing alot of the same old things that she did when the guy was in her life, so it makes sense that she is reminded (as opposed to thinking loving thoughts) about him alot. She may not be idle, but she certainley needs to change things up a bit. Suggest some new things to do, and new places to see where, hopefully, there will be new people to meet, A good way to do is this is to ask others what would brighten them up if they were in this position. Then try a few of the suggestions out on your friend. Peace. |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by Tranngirls(f): 6:53am On Jan 28, 2009 |
FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO THINK ABOUT |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by ariblaze(m): 8:42am On Jan 28, 2009 |
@post contradicting statements thinking of leaving him and at the same time thinking of him in favored terms |
| Re: If It Were You, What Will You Do? by temi4rea(f): 10:41am On Jan 28, 2009 |
ariblaze: Na slip of thought sorry of writing, but it doesnt matter wht is slip wht in asmuch as u get the mesg contribute. |
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