pomsky:



[size=15pt]...... situational management is the name of the game. I BECAME A LION. Not that i beat her or physically abused her, no! But ANYTIME she got angry, i got angrier. Her anger began to breed anger in me. It wasn't easy, and at that point i was ready to end the relationship and told her so. I continually told her that the survival of the relationship was in her hands not mine!
Slowly but surely she began to change, and change she did, becos i learnt to roar. I know some people will bash me, but menh, i don't give a hoot! I survived, she survived, my marriage is on. We have been together now February this year makes it 15yrs.[/size]

pomsky:
[size=15pt]And guess what, she's madly inlove with me, believes I'm the best(though i sometimes wonder what she sees in me that makes her think so), and she treats me like a king.[/size]

pomsky:
[size=15pt]I BECAME A LION.[/size]

egbaguy:
.....lol...... In other news,where is my @ aminat508?

coogar:
•forming
•storming
•norming
•performing

you are at the storming stage in your marriage. endure it, persevere it and you would soon get past this phase. at least, she's decent enough to apologise whenever she says things that are bang out of order.

there's light at the end of the tunnel.

StealthIdeals:
Despite the poster's apparent good mastery of Queen's English, he used the word 'marriage' 11 times, but misspelt the word 10 times. We really need to ask him the reasons behind the error. He might be in the same shoe with Op, I presume.

helen4:
sweetheart, unless u apologies or are u too big to do that?

Aminat508:
am here jawe.....malaria won kill me

Eluala:
she has successfully blackmailed you emotionally to the point of domination.

She knows what buttons to press and there you go working to please her like a robot while she enjoys herself. You have been rewarding this behavior by omission and commission. That's marriage is recommended only for mature people especially emotion and psychological maturity. She is dominating your psyche. She is marking and protecting her territory of which you are a part.

You have failed to assert yourself and the modus operandi for your relationship and that's why she is filling the gap. There is a role reversal going on. You have been too soft or love struck to see and play your role as the man of the house and now she is assuming that role. It's like spoiling a child and not being firm to punish bad behavior and expect that by some miracle when the child grows, she/he will suddenly become a good adult.

Eluala:
Tell her in very clear terms that in a marriage, there is a head and there is an assistant. You are the head and she is the vice

Chigold101:
oh sweet angel am very sorry. Just look for a better spot in ur heart to forgive me. Am so so very sorry for all that i have said and will say.

(kiss) (kiss)

multicast:
I am a fervent reader on Nairaland and i dont miss this forum in 1 day, i have seen people share their concerns here and a lot of people have contributed through their comments, though some are hillarious while others are on point. i will appreciate matured responses.

I did not marry a stranger to start with and its why i am very pained cuz i come here on nairaland and see how people get frustrated about their marriage based on cogent reasons but mine is different.

first of all, I got married in february and am already very tired of my wife, not because she isnt very sexy or good in bed as other may experienced but because my wife starts arguments from little things as little as why did u miss my call, even if its a BBM call thats dependent of network, after hours of begging i have to end up with uncountable "am sorry".

secondly, my wife find it very easy to engage in malice for days without bothering to reconcile, and i have to talk to her over again and make her see reason why such act is not good in marriage, for which she will later apologize and the next day or same day she is back again in another episode.

thirdly, every man love to be respected, when my wife starts her drama about missed call or other flimsy excuses, she starts talking to me like am her junior brother, calling me names and after noticing how mad i am with her, she will apologize but always repeat such act.

i feel the amount of love and attention she gets from me is too much and i am beginning to think i should make her understand what it feels like to have a frustrated marriage. though am yet to do that.

i honestly am not perfect but i have never used any harsh word while addressing her even when she is obviously wrong, i dont do so because i know the feeling when she use them for me. i wish i could anyway.

i grew up in a place where women are highly regarded and well treated and maybe its affecting me because i also help her do chores and i dont push all the house work to her as most men do.

i noticed i am always very unhappy and depressed the moment she comes up with this episodes and it may be because i love her so much and this is beginning to affect how i study and i might be forced to push her away first by not giving her attention as i used to.

My fellow Nairalanders, i respect ur opinion, hillarious ones and reasonable ones, marriage is not a bed of roses, i love my wife and i am not cheating on her, i am 100% married to her alone but her attitude is frustrating and i might have to leave her in the end. i hope i get lucky and this make FP so i can learn from experienced members before i take a decision, as we speak she has began the malice episode with me and if i dont apologize to her in 3 days, she is ready to go that far too.

publicenemy:


Be patient with her it. Will pass.you got married febuary. She is still cominng to terms With spending the rest of hher life with you or she is just trying to let herself trust you with her heart and life by pushing you to your limits and watching ur reaction. Donnt confirm her fears by being violent, just continue with the maturity it will pass. Happy married life.

egbaguy:
eeeeyah.....pele!!!! Ao body now? She has been 'found' @dyt

Cmeo:
An old man told me that the first year of every marriage is the toughest and determines the rest of the marriage life. He went further to say in that first year, woman would want to create niche or set tone for the marriage life, but man has to stand it ground and restrict the niche/tone, if not that niche/tone set by the woman will forever hold in the marriage life. So he told me to restrict niche/tone with all my might and never mind the heat at the time. My 2cent.

Fourwinds:
what are u writing.?? Combining two independent words together. Nawa oooo

Votukpa:
OP,
Spank!

Put her on ur laps like u would ur son or daughter and spank her mercilessly until she begins to cry. Make sure she cries. This is important. , or at least get an emotional release from her.

johnbycee2015:
I must commend u fr asking for help.Av been married for about 27 years so i am giving you an opinion based on experience.When i got married,my buddies who got married same time with me went thru this type of experience.They did not speak up,those who did refused to take advise.What happened,the wives got worse,continued to nag even when they {d wives}were in total control.Yet the men got tired along the line and they finally separated or divorced.Their chilren are the worse for it today,because i also see these children.
In my own case,my wife started that way.I made as much noise as she did,registered my displeasure at her attitude even when we are on an event.I mean i responded each time she started no matter where,{in public or at home.}yet i remained committed to the marriage because above all these episodes, i still loved her.We were also having our children.Somehow,in the process she began to see that it is not beneficial to any one if the woman decides to be a nag.The change started coming from her gradually,and i also adjusted as she did.The persistent quarells reduced.We are still happily married,facing lives challenges together.The love has also grown beyond my imagination.
Do all you can to be in charge now.Leave love to be in the background.Women are like the stem of planted yam seed.If you dont direct it,it can grow towards the wrong direction.
Reduce doing house chores,stop doing errands,do less talking,spring financial surprises some times and never you lift your hands on her.She will surely soften up.If she doesnt after you apply all thses,then be assured that she is not actually your wife.
Finally,dont complain to any one.If she does and someone asks you,treat her complain with levity.It will turn out fine.Best wishes. 08022956777 Johnson

5minsmadness:

Oh?
Facing a similar problem right now with Q.
That's why am up this late.
It can be so frustrating.
You ladies can be something else at times.

helen4:
accepted but watch out!!!!!!!!_

InestamablJewel:


U R A REAL MAN, I LUFF U ALREADY..

InestamablJewel:


U R A REAL MAN, I LUFF U ALREADY..