I came across this insightful article and decided to share. Learn.

Writer Sara Cornell never intended to have an extramarital affair, but before she knew it, she was deep in the throes of one.
"It wasn't a specific, conscious, considered act," she told The Huffington Post. "I didn’t wake up one day and think, 'Hey, I think I’d like to have an affair.' It just happened -- which is probably very hard to comprehend if you haven’t actually been in the situation." Below, Cornell and seven other women explain what led them to cheat on their spouses.
(1) ''He stopped saying I Love you''
"I married the wrong man and made the 'easier' choice in life by being with him. It didn't become clear to me how wrong he was for me until we had a child. I turned to the right man for comfort for many years and hid it because I wanted my family to remain under the same roof. The biggest reason I strayed was the complete lack of attention I was shown. No birthday or Christmas cards, no gifts. He stopped saying 'I love you.' We went from having sex once a week before the baby to every couple months after the baby, to eventually once a year. It's really easy to fall out of love when you feel like your spouse is a roommate you co-parent with." -Krista R.

(2) ''I wanted my Husband to feel the same pain he introduced me to''
"I cheated on my husband because he cheated on me. That’s the sad and simple truth. After spending six years with a man who couldn’t stop cheating on me I was emotionally exhausted, depleted and lingering at rock bottom. I cheated out of an overwhelming desire to have someone give me back some of the love and attention I’d been giving my husband with nothing in return. I cheated because I was desperate for someone to love me with the same ferocious first-love intensity that I’d given my husband. I cheated with my high school boyfriend because I was angry, hurt and wanted my husband to feel the same pain he’d introduced to me six years ago and had never tried to work on, despite knowing that it was breaking me down. I cheated because I no longer loved myself and hoped that someone, anyone could hand me some self-worth, a little bit of love and help me begin again." -Lindsay T.
(3) Its easy for a harmless friendship to progress into something more, when you are unhappy at home.
"I think it's important for people to realize that an affair can be the last thing on your mind but that it's easy for harmless friendships to progress into something more when you're unhappy at home. I was with my husband nearly 11 years. I had been primarily supporting us financially and emotionally for seven years and as the sole breadwinner of four. I met a man in one of my continuing education classes and what followed was eight months of conflicted feelings, marriage counseling, ultimatums and anything else I could think of to save our marriage before I gave into an affair. Three months later, I was so exhausted and torn I left my husband even though he had forgiven me for cheating. About a month later, I started exclusively dating the other man I was involved with and asked my husband for a divorce. I still feel terrible about it. The affair wasn't the reason I left but I wonder if I would have had the strength to realize how unhappy I was without it happening. I still love my husband but I knew he'd never change so I had to walk away." -Melissa C.

I think these are valid reasons for divorce. What do you think?

if 100 girls read this... 99% of of them still wants to get married...

Absurd...

iPopAlomo:
if 100 girls read this... 99% of of them still wants to get married...

Absurd...

Whats your point exactly my friend.

But dey agreed to b 2geda for better for worse,
So just because he couldn't say I love u is enough reason for cheating?
These hoes ain't loyal for real!

iPopAlomo:
if 100 girls read this... 99% of of them still wants to get married...

Absurd...

Because another person bad experience does not = your reality.

1freshdude:
I agree that all the reasons given could lead to cracks in a marriage and could eventually a divorce. What i find intriguing though is the reason no 1 given for divorce ''He stopped saying I love you''. I do not know about other guys, but I, particularly is very frugal with this words ''I love you''. Those words are so difficult for me to pronounce that I murmur it even to my mum and sister when they call me. To think that not saying this words to your wife could lead to a divorce is quite scary. I love with actions, I do all i can to make the people I love comfortable. Verbal declaration of love is not my thing and I do it on very rare occasions.
I believe the female folks should be able to tell by the action of their partners that they are truly loved. Your man maybe very busy trying to put food on your table or focused on making the world a better place that he forgets to say I love you. Remind him to tell you that he loves you if you need any reassurance, divorcing a man for refusing to say he loves you is too trivial if you ask me.
For the men, (my self inclusive) we must not take this thing that we consider 'little/trivia' for granted now that we know that it could lead to a divorce.

"...the biggest reason i strayed was d complete lack of attention i was shown..." ...Not sayn "i love u" is a part of d LACK OF ATTENTION

rokiatu:
Because another person bad experience does not = your reality.

i for know na. Shebi na you.

As for moi, i have indeed learnt a lot from this and therefore i promise that i shall never marry until i possess all it takes to make my wife happy as much as possible. Please say amen.

I understand all the 3 point mentioned by op. And I know so many married people find themselves in that situations. Instead of cheating why not do the following: talk about the problem with ur partner, come up with solutions, involve other people and above all pray about it. And if this doesn't work divorce rather than doing it and feeling guilt about cheating.

two wrongs do not make a right. NO honour in cheating,remember you made a vow.

Lisaflex:

"...the biggest reason i strayed was d complete lack of attention i was shown..." ...Not sayn "i love u" is a part of d LACK OF ATTENTION

You are absolutely correct. But we are wired differently and there are lots of other things that bother men. A lot of times we forget to pay enough attention to our partners believing that they are with us already, and would understand. But I must say the man was too negligent, no birthday or Christmas card, and then scarce sex? there must be an underling problem. The man probably gambles or takes drugs. When you are deep into those shit, other things/people in your life suffers.

To further discourage frequent quarrels at home and divorce, I think every man should encourage his spouse to work. A job would keep them occupied and make them less conscious of some trivia things that their men forget to do. It would also make them empathize with their men, as they may begin to understand the kind of pressure that there men face at work on a daily basis.

There's something about cheats. These people cheat and have this innate ability of conjuring up reasons to rationalize their actions. Only a fool will accept such reason; you know why? 'Cause they will still cheat again.

1freshdude:


To further discourage frequent quarrels at home and divorce, I think every man should encourage his spouse to work. A job would keep them occupied and make them less conscious of some trivia things that their men forget to do. It would also make them empathize with their men, as they may begin to understand the kind of pressure that there men face at work on a daily basis.

*salute icon*

So true, I think this should be on fp .
I wonder watin them dey feel like, wey that ipledge?

1freshdude:



To further discourage frequent quarrels at home and divorce, I think every man should encourage his spouse to work. A job would keep them occupied and make them less conscious of some trivia things that their men forget to do. It would also make them empathize with their men, as they may begin to understand the kind of pressure that there men face at work on a daily basis.

this is brilliant! ..
@op number one is the only reason I seee there, others...I don't know, they ain't good enough enough..

lack of attention from one's spouse can really take a wrong turn especially on the woman..not saying 'I love you' isn't the major reason in number one, its lack of attention.

as for number two, that's funny! the woman should rather divorce And flirt as much as she wants instead , cause cheating on your husband (for a Nigerian) for revenge is a no no, na you go still pack comot..but I can understand, na oyibo woman.

husband cheat- wife suffers
wife cheats- wife suffers.

I really don't know the fuss about marriage for women not with all this sham marriages around.
I really can't imagine someone cheating on me..

N/b One Good turn Deserve Another

rokiatu:
Because another person bad experience does not = your reality.

It doesn't... But marriage is a deceptive facade...

N/b One Good turn Deserve Another

1freshdude:


Whats your point exactly my friend.

It means... my friend... for better for worse is far fetch...

Mznaett:
This Stuff Just Reminded Me Of My Dad...he Cheated On My Mum And Later Confessed And Now,mum Has Taken D Lead...and Dad Is Feeling Bad..

N/b One Good turn Deserve Another

quivah:

this is brilliant! ..
@op number one is the only reason I seee there, others...I don't know, they ain't good enough enough..

lack of attention from one's spouse can really take a wrong turn especially on the woman..not saying 'I love you' isn't the major reason in number one, its lack of attention.

as for number two, that's funny! the woman should rather divorce And flirt as much as she wants instead , cause cheating on your husband (for a Nigerian) for revenge is a no no, na you go still pack comot..but I can understand, na oyibo woman.

husband cheat- wife suffers
wife cheats- wife suffers.

I really don't know the fuss about marriage for women not with all this sham marriages around.

Finally... a woman that shares the same opinion...

iPopAlomo:


Finally... a woman that shares the same opinion...

honestly!
speaking from a woman's view--- Nigerian men ain't worth the sweat..

quivah:

honestly!
speaking from a woman's view--- Nigerian men ain't worth the sweat..

Lol... I'll let this slide...

Briee:
So true, I think this should be on fp .
I wonder watin them dey feel like, wey that ipledge?

midehi?

quivah:

honestly!
speaking from a woman's view--- Nigerian men ain't worth the sweat..

Lol...madam, its not unique to Nigerian men.

Number two is somehow funny.


Ladies use that excuse a lot but the excuse is inherently ironic. They will say that are double- dating becaude they want their husbands to feel the same pain. The funny thing is that most times the new guy they are cheating with is also some other lady's boyfriend or husband. So imagine a woman who wants to teach her husband a lesson starts dating a man who is another woman's husband. The other woman now gets hurt and angry and then decides to start dating a young guy in order to teach her husband a lesson. Now the young guy also has a girlfriend who discovers he is cheating on her with a married woman. To get back at him she also starts dating a married man, and the cycle goes on and on.

1freshdude:

Lol...madam, its not unique to Nigerian men.

that's right.. its just just worse with them

Ipledge:
midehi?

hey!! ws up, hope no probs.

LewisO:
Any woman that wants to cheat will cheat.

And b4 they cheat on you everything has been played & worked out in their heads.

there's absolutely nothn that can justify cheating.. i bliv u ought to b faithful because u fear God.. all of these to me r just excuses to do what u v always secretly desired to do in ur hrt

He/She who wantz to cheat will cheat, cos cheating is always intentional and not accidental.