I haven't seen my boyfriend since almost 13 months. Since then, he has only called me around five times (probably less) because (so he always say) he's broke. We can't see each other since we live very far appart. Unfortunately, I cannot move to his place because I don't know anybody there who would/could help me to find a job and he does not want me to come for nothing, not even for holidays (I don't have the money for a pleasure trip anyway). Instead, he said he would move to my place but it didn't work out so far. Now, he has a chance to relocate in about half a year but he's too lazzy to take up the opportunity. Do you think it's worth waiting for him? I don't even know if he (still) loves me ---

edit: The "my boyfriend hardly calls" title was not chosen by myself and does not really describe the essence of my problem.

i doubt that.

sounds like he has another girl

and u r still waitin gurl wat d hell is u waitin for to me it sounds like he already movbed aon and don't want to see u

You don’t know but he has also his good sites. He’s funny, intelligent and we have very similar interests. I like his dreams and I would love to help him realize them. But even for his own cause, he seems to lack the energy. When I met him, he was the one to encourage me to do something I was afraid of. I told him I couldn’t do it and he said that I could and that it would advance me a lot. So, I took all my courage together and presented my topic to a whole room of people. He was in the audience and looked so cheerful as if it had been his own success. And then when he got this distinction from his uni, it was my turn to feel proud of him. So many things have changed -- or maybe they haven’t; maybe I was just blinded by love in the beginning. I miss him so much ---

Maybe it’s just a temporary down? 

sounds like the guy gat other plans.

I doubt that he got any plans at all --- but why would a guy of whom all think the world let himself go like that?

pleasure or no pleasure, u haven't seen ur bf in 13months and spoke to him like 5 times. U sure u guys really dating or just friends. Cos I wonder how that works, moreover i believe both of u are in the same country.

.Well thats guys for you always actin weird and what not, hmm why dont you jus try callin him and talking things out.

Hi Busta and Classiqkid.

We talked more than five times in those thirteen months. I call him --- let me think --- about once a week in average. If it was not that expensive, I would probably dial his number even more often. We definitely are, or at least were, dating --- but now? All I ask is to see him once a while, is that too much to ask for, especially from your boyfriend? Well, shortly ago, he said he's not sure about our relationship anymore. 

u call him how many times did he call u but u always calling him and moreover i don't know y u r axing us about this 'cos its like u got ur mind made up about him and don't want to listen to some ppls advice i'm not sayin u got to acept it but atleast listen to it

Ol girl pls wake up and live before it is too late.Even me,as dumb as I am, can clearly read the handwriting on the wall.Abi you wan tell me say u dumb pass me.

@uche

oh so u r dumb i kinda kew that but i just kept quiet and didn't wanna say nothin

I knew you would rise up to the bait

Mhm, I'm listening, really. It's just that hope dies last. Isn't it? And he says he doesn't have the money to call ---

Thanks for your comments --- eventhough they are sadening.  

There's a poem I found and it just touches me. I feel very much the same.


http://www.poemhunter.com/p/m/poem.asp?poet=93527&poem=1512321

Girl dony cry over silled milk.There is more in the jug

Hi somegirl,
 Suppose nearly everyone on this threat is getting you wrong but i think iice is feeling u.
 Your guy needs a push and i suppose u try make him sit up but if he wouldn't i suppose you move ahead.But try first.

juat dump his ass

Manakins, yes, you and Icee think what I think as well, though I believe it’s rather depression than laziness or maybe a combination of both. That doesn’t mean kicking his ass will help, at least not the kicks one can give when not physically present. It also doesn’t guaranty that it is none of the other posters who is right. Maybe, he has already moved on; perhaps he even has another girl.

What can I do from the distance? How can I help him? And how can I find out whether he is serious about us?

Maybe --- could you tell me what it usually involves to get a transcript and degree certificate from a university (in the South-West)?  That’s the only thing missing for his application (the opportunity I told you about). How long does it usually take once you’ve requested it?

@all: Thanks for your posts. I already had started to think something was seriously wrong with myself because of it being so hard for me to be more patient and to trust him under these current circumstances.

Ohh you sound so much in love, i think you should do ur best with this guy cos guys are easy to find but love isn't, and i also believe you would have titled your message, "Am in love with someone, who dosen't return my love" . you sound emotionally stranded wish i could help, maybe we should hook up, no strings attached though i just want to inspire

He just called surprisingly. It was really nice but when I asked when he would go and get his documents from uni he just blocked again. There’s a deadline and, as I know, there will be hazards like usually – e.g. somebody responsible not available so that he has to come again tomorrow (not the “tomorrow” that means the day after today). You know how it is and, before he can count to ten, this opportunity also will be gone.

@harmless: Thanks. I'll be around Nairaland but what I'm really looking forward is to see my friends in the offline world. They're the best way to take my thoughts to more pleasant places.

for God sake why are all these bad guys having the ones meant for us(d gud guyz). my dear he's gone, he thought he has got the best out of you and gone but that's no true, i'm trippin so chill out stay fit i'm coming to get you but if i'm late accept my rival

Girlfriend,wake up and smell the coffee,the guy is passing out signals that you are no longer needed.

Well said Snazzy

snazzydawn:
Girlfriend,wake up and smell the coffee,the guy is passing out signals that you are no longer needed.

Yes, I agree, his behaviour really speaks that kind of language but with words he often tells me “just trust me - everything will be alright”. It confuses me.

Gul u need just one sentence and that is
'wake and move on,forget bout him'.

Ok, I'll allow your topic. So, we're supposed to tell you when you'll see your boyfriend again? Yeah, we are definitely qualified to tell you that. We have the power to see the future, and we must help you!

Seun i jus sent u an email to your gmail plz chek it its urgent,

Seun, I only called it that way because you seem to prefer a more descriptive title. My favourite title is still a plain "lonely". Now, the new title is a rhetorical question from which a reader should know that I haven't seen my boyfriend since a long time and that I have no idea if I will ever see him again. However, "My Boyfriend Hardly Calls Me" - though having a clearer content - is like calling a human being "foot" or a house "window". And if I had chosen such a title, would you not have asked me "Do you expect us to make him call you?"? Seun, a forum like this one (because there are also other kinds, e.g. for academic purposes) is for talking and even if it is only a desperate rant of somebody feeling blue. But in  fact, I have heard some valuable comments, especially since I expected more something of "the man is the head of a family" or in this case of a relationship. If you know a better title, please feel free to share.

ello somegal, if i hadnt been in ur kind of shoes b4,i prob would have told you to loose the looser, but then i know how you fel,i have been there done dat,bought a shirt even opened a boutique, my point is dat you have to work on your mind and move on, atimes we gals often refuse to read btw the lines,it mit not be so obvious to you but to us, nairalanders reading your post,its obvious dis guy doest give a hoot about you anymore, if u think he does den he has a funny way of showing it o, look gal,just try and get him off your mindwhy havent u guys seen each other,is it an over the seas relationship?if its not and its justt a cross state thing then haba,,its not like you need a visa to go see him or vice versa, no one can tell u what to do,u wear the shoe u know where it pinches, u know the lies youv been telling yourself, u know the many nights uv stayed up crying.only u would know wat to do, but tkea ok

No, it’s not just a cross state thing (I’m a UK resident) but we could be together o --- if he just would get up his ass and do what he promised to do!